剧透预警 Spoiler Alert（2022）

I don’t even know your name.
基特
It’s Kit.
等等，真的？你叫基特？
Wait, really? You’re Kit?
噢，天啊，我叫迈克。
Oh, God. I’m Michael.
我们就像《霹雳游侠》里的迈克和基特
It’s like Michael and KITT from Knight Rider.
从80年代♥开♥始连载了90集的大卫·哈塞尔霍夫秀
It’s that David Hasselhoff show from the ’80s. Ran 90 episodes.
-所以这是命运？ -当然
-So this is kismet, then? -Uh, sure.
除了基特是辆会说话的车以及这个节目不太好看的部分
Except that KITT was a talking car and the show wasn’t very good.
嘿，你们在这儿啊。
Hey, there you are.
-噢，天啊，嗨。 -哇哦，哇哦。
-Oh, God, hi. -Whoa, whoa.
基特，你要送我回家了，整个儿晕得不行。
Kit, I need you to take me home because the room is spinning.
好吧。呃，有任务了。
All right. Um, that’s my cue.
-噢，是，行吧。 -呃…
-Oh, yeah, okay. -Uh…
很高兴认识你
It’s been good to meet you.
哇哦。起来。天啊
Wow. Come on. Jesus.
我也很高兴认识你
Yeah, it’s good to meet you, too.
这样吧。给你，这个。这…是我的名片。
You know what? Actually, here. This is… This is my card.
上面有我联♥系♥电♥话♥，你有空可以打给我。
It has my number on it so you can call me sometime.
-好 -噢，天啊！我想吐了。
-Okay. -Oh, God. I think I’m gonna barf.
行啦。我们走了。我们走了。
All right. Let’s get you out of here. Get you out of here.
-非常抱歉。 -振作点。
-I’m so sorry. -Come on.
从未想过你会再次联♥系♥我
I never thought I’d hear from you.
直到你打来电♥话♥
But then you called.
你家里有电视机吧？
You do own a TV set, right?
我的室友柯比有吧
I think my roommate Kirby does.
吓到你了？
Is that shocking to you?
吓到？怎么会。我是听说有人从来不看电视的啦
Shocking? No, it’s not shocking. I’ve heard of people
但我从来没有遇见过
who don’t have TVs, but I’ve never met one.
很高兴见到你
It’s nice to meet you.
跟我说说。你最喜欢哪个节目？
Educate me. What’s your favorite TV show?
呃，最近的？《费丽丝蒂》
（1998年开始连载的美剧）
Uh, at the moment? Felicity.
有点创新，有点老套…
They’re doing some new things, but it’s also got a traditional…
可能，还有一点感人
I don’t know, there’s something comforting about it,
演员的表现都很棒
and the actors are great.
嗯，是不是因为她的发型差点儿害得整部剧集被砍？
Um, is she the one whose haircut almost got the show canceled?
这是一部很棒的剧集，你该看看。
It is a brilliant show, and you should watch it.
好。我们要不要喝点？这家酒单不错。
Okay. Should we get a bottle? This place has an incredible wine list.
呃，我还是喝健怡可乐吧。我不怎么喝酒。
Um, I think I will stick with Diet Coke. I’m not really much of a drinker.
我不喜欢酒味以及空热量
I don’t really like the taste or the empty calories.
你呢？酒瘾或药瘾？
What about you? Drunkard or junkie?
-我是一个摄影师 -嗯，那就是两者均沾。
-I’m a photographer. -Mmm. Both, then.
我现在工作和收入稳定
Well, for now, I have a day job that pays the bills.
-什么工作？ -Così
-What is that? -Così.
纽约最健康的连锁快餐
New York’s finest fast-casual restaurant chain.
Così有着全纽约最好吃的薄松饼
Così has the best flatbread in New York City.
他们的广♥告♥和商标由我负责设计
Well, I design their advertising, store signage.
鹰嘴豆泥素食三明治那个新广♥告♥也是你做的？
Did you do the new ads for the hummus-veggie sandwich?
是的
I did, yes.
-我的作品之一 -讲真
-That’s one of mine. -Okay, I’m not even kidding,
那是我看过最完美的
that is the most beautifully rendered
对鹰嘴豆泥和素食三明治的呈现
hummus and veggie sandwich I have ever seen.
我是素食主义者。也看过不少鹰嘴豆泥和蔬菜广♥告♥了。
And I’m a vegetarian. I’ve seen a lot of hummus and veggie pictures.
我还能说什么呢？面包登场
Well, what can I say? When it comes to lighting bread,
我就知道该上什么了
I know what’s up.
我每天都在51街和百老汇附近那家Così吃午餐
I do lunch every day at the Così on 51st and Broadway.
巧了，今天是你的幸运日，因为…
Well, today’s your lucky day, because you…
你接下去两餐的素食三明治由我请了
your next two flatbread sandwiches are on me.
别说话！娶我！
Shut up! Oh. Marry me.
天啊！会不会太快了
Oh, God. Is that too soon
就这么向你求婚
to ask you to marry me?
谢谢
Thank you.
不用客气
You’re very welcome.
呃，你…你对婚姻有什么看法？
Uh, what’s your… What’s your take on marriage?
唔，正经话题啊
Ooh, a serious discussion.
那个，你知道，热门话题嘛…
Well, you know, it’s topical and…
好吧。那个…
Okay. Well…
我认为自己浪漫得有点无可救药
I consider myself a bit of a hopeless romantic,
所以很难搞定
so I guess that makes me pro.
我猜你可能会有不同看法
And I’m guessing that you kind of feel differently.
那我们是不是该深入聊聊？
Well, aren’t we supposed to be more advanced than that?
毕竟，这话听起来有点像是奴隶买♥♥卖♥♥
I mean, it started as the literal selling of chattel.
我也不确定是否需要那么折腾
I don’t know if I want to be a part of that ritual.
我认为些许仪式感还是有点甜的
I think some rituals are kind of sweet.
与此同时有些传统也很重要
And some rituals are actually very important.
嗯
Hmm.
-什么奴隶？ -我不知道
-What’s chattel? -I don’t know.
我觉得，这，只是闲聊啦
I think it’s, like, cattle that chats.
像会说话的奶牛？
Talking cows?
我有两个兄弟，我是次子。
Middle child, two brothers.
我们其实挺亲近，不过他们住在不同的州，
We’re actually very close, but they live in different states,
所以我们很少见面。
so we don’t see each other very often.
-独子 -一个人…
-Only child. -Only…
没有姐妹，没有兄弟。
No sisters, no brothers.
童年痴迷的事物
Childhood obsessions.
圣诞节、肥皂、还有…
Christmas and soaps and…
圣诞节、肥皂、还有…
Christmas and soaps and…
没了，没有了。
Nope, there’s nothing else.
圣诞节和肥皂。完了。到你。
Christmas and soaps. Period. Go.
呃，童年痴迷的，魔术。
Uh, childhood obsession, magic.
我曾经有个艺名叫做魔术师基特
My stage name was Kit the Conjurer.
魔术师基特！这个头韵押得。
Kit the Conjurer! The alliteration.
-那个，呃，你那里有… -怎么了？
-It’s, um… You’ve got… -What is it?
你耳朵后面有个东西
You’ve got something behind your ear.
-什么？什么东西？在哪里？ -嗯，这里…
-What? What? Where? -Uh, it’s…
-噢，天啊！ -我的天！
-Oh, my God. -Oh, Jesus.
是个小餐包
It’s a dinner roll.
-怎么会出现在那里？ -你是怎么办到的？
-How did that get there? -How did you do that?
魔术师从不揭晓谜底
A magician never reveals his secrets.
高中毕业后，我逃去了洛杉矶。
After high school, I escaped to Los Angeles.
-我去念了南加利福利亚大学 -噢
-I went to USC, -Oh.
从那开始我就迷上了电视机
where I nurtured my obsession with television,
以至于后来就到了《美国电视指南》工作
which led to my current job at TV Guide.
我猜你可能都没听说过这个
Which, I am guessing, you’ve never even heard of.
不不不，我父母也订阅了《美国电视指南》。
No, no, no. My parents had a subscription to TV Guide.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
他们现在退休了。我父亲是一名世界级的推杆运动员。
They’re retired now. My dad is a world-class putterer.
是个很好的人。然后…我母亲是一名铁人三项运动员。
A good guy. And…my mom is a triathlete.
你母亲是铁人三项运动员…就像…
Your mother’s a triath… As in, like, the whole…
-嗯 -游泳，骑行，跑步。-对 -够了
-Mmm. -Swimming, biking, running. -Yep. -Shut up.
她非常有活力
She is exceptionally driven.
显然有点过于活跃了
Though not very good.
哇哦
Wow.
你和他们亲近吗？
Are you close with them?
那个，情况有点复杂。
Yeah. I mean, it’s complicated.
不过他们人挺好。本质上挺好。
But they’re great. They’re essentially great.
你父母呢？
What about your parents?
我能说这杯健怡可乐的糖浆和碳酸比例很完美么？
Can I just say that this Diet Coke is the perfect syrup-to-carbonation ratio?
就像Chipotle级别的完美。没有哪家的健怡可乐比Chipotle更好喝。
（Chipotle是一个墨西哥风味连锁快餐品牌）
This is, like, Chipotle-level perfect. No one does Diet Coke like Chipotle.
他们都去世了
They both passed away.
我很小的时候父亲就去世了
My father died when I was very young.
我母亲，在那之后几年患上了癌症，所以…
And my mother, she got cancer a few years after that, so…
挺糟心的
Yes, it sucked.
我很抱歉
I’m so sorry.
没关系
It’s okay.
谢谢
Thank you.
小心点
Watch out.
或许我们该去哪家店里坐坐。我不想遭遇同志歧视。
Maybe we should go inside somewhere. I don’t really want to get gay-bashed.
好的。那么，去你那儿吧。
Okay. Well, then let’s go to your place.
我还没到过泽西市呢
I’ve never been to Jersey City before.
毕竟，我之前…提到的那个室友…