变身特工

该飞了
Time to fly.
不
Nope.
你用一张餐巾和一块胶布
You broke into the Kremlin using a napkin
就闯入了克里姆林宫
and a piece of duct tape.
进入自己的车应该不是问题
You should be able to get into your own car!
好 好 好
Yep, yep, yep.
快 快 快
Got it, got it, got it… Ow!
拜托啊
Come on.
好了 听我说
Okay, hear me out.
有人在说话吗 我听不到啊
Is somebody talking? I don’t hear anybody talking.
尤其是某个两度被炒
Especially somebody that’s been double fired…
即将三度被炒的人
working on a triple fire.
我和你一起去
I’ll come with you.
我可以向你展示作为鸽子的所有优势
I can show you all the advantages of being a pigeon
以及如何让你成为一名更好的特工
and how it can make you an even better spy.
然后你就会让我复职
And then you’ll give me my job back.
我们双赢
We both win.
好吧 我考虑一下
All right, let me think about that.
不了
No.
好吧 我估计你还认识别的
Okay. Well, I suppose you have somebody else
拥有移♥动♥实验室
who has a mobile lab…
能把你变回人的家伙吧
who could turn you back into a man.
-上车 -我绝对不会碍事
– Get in the car. – You won’t even know I’m here.
我就坐车外面 不用担心
I’ll just ride out here, don’t worry.
对了 我错了
Right. My bad.
快 快 快 让一让
Go, go, go! Moving through.
马上把那棵树砍了
I want that tree gone, now!
斯特林特工
Agent Sterling,
立刻从房♥子里出来
exit the premises now!
你在干什么 快上车
What are you doing? Get in the car!
-我的天啊 -威尔弗雷德 快走
– Holy shit… – Wilfred! Let’s move!
上 上 上
Let’s go, go, go!
启动自动驾驶
Activate auto-drive.
自动驾驶已启动
Auto-drive engaged.
斯特林私人飞机库
Sterling private jet hangar.
看到了吗 沃尔特
See that, Walter?
你可以把我变成鸟
You can bird me…
但你不能阻止我
but you can’t stop me.
他在我们身后
He was behind us.
系好安全带
Buckle up.
把贝克特这小子的全部资料都找出来
And get me everything we can on that Beckett kid.
你觉得他们联手了吗
You think they’re working together?
斯特林一向单干 他是在利用他
Sterling works alone. He’s using him for something.
你把鸟小姐带来了吗
You brought the lady bird?
她是我的情感支持动物
She’s my emotional support animal.
如果这只鸟在我车里拉屎
You’re gonna need a life support animal
你就需要生命维持动物了
if that bird poop in my…
他们追来了
We got company.
我们的人已经封锁了
We’ve got units blocking every street,
方圆八公里内的所有街道 天桥和出口
overpass, and exit within a 5-mile radius.
非常好 开始围捕吧
Perfect. Time for a cattle drive.
坐稳了
Saddle up!
躲避策略已激活
Evasive maneuvers activated.
我没时间搞这些
I don’t have time for this.
-激活武器 -什么
– Activate weapons. – What?
-激活武器 -别紧张
– Activating weapons. – Relax.
我只是要把她的轮胎打爆而已
I’m just gonna take out her tires.
这下可不妙
That’s really bad.
我赌你不敢
I dare you.
解除武器
Deactivating weapons.
不 我们是好人
No, we’re the good guys.
我们不能开枪打其他的好人
We can’t shoot the other good guys.
你说得对 沃尔特
Yeah, you’re right, Walter.
我们靠边停车 和他们好好说吧
Let’s just pull over and talk it out.
没错 可以吗
Exactly. Can we?
-激活武器 -激活武器
– Activate weapons. – Activating weapons.
-解除武器 -解除武器
– Deactivate weapons. – Deactivating weapons.
不如用浮油这种非致命的东西吧
How about something non-lethal like oil slick?
激活武器
Activate weapons.
解除武器
Deactivate weapons.
别听沃尔特的 激活武器
Don’t listen to Walter. Activate weapons.
-浮油 -激活武器
– Oil slick. – Activate weapons.
浮油 浮油 浮油
Oil slick! Oil slick! Oil slick!
这人脑子有病
This man trippin’.
浮油 浮油 浮油
Oil slick! Oil slick! Oil slick!
解除
Deactivate.
系统关闭 再见
System shut down. Goodbye.
你干了什么
Oh, what did you do?
他就像是柏油路之神
He’s like a god of the asphalt.
走着瞧
We’ll see about that.
好 我能行 我能行
All right. I got this. I got this.
我能行 我能行
I got this. I got this.
我们要死了
We’re gonna die!
-糟了 -小心
– Oh, no. – Watch out!
我们应该马上就能追上他
We should be coming up on him any second.
到此为止了
This ends now.
大家各就各位了吗
Is everyone in position?
是的 已就位
Affirmative. In position.
沃尔特 重启电脑
Walter, get that computer back online.
系统重启了
Systems coming back online.
防御软件启动
Defensive applications online.
浮油
Oil slick?
好吧 随便 按下去就是了
Fine, whatever! Just press it!
等等 我们正倒着开
Wait! We’re driving backwards.
不
No!
太刺♥激♥了
That was tight.
正式说一句 我是他的粉丝
Yep. It’s official. I’m a fan.
还有谁看到那辆车里有只鸽子吗
Did anyone else see a pigeon in that car?
自动驾驶已启动
Auto-drive engaged.
我忍♥不住觉得我有一点错
I can’t help but feel like some of this is my fault.
有一点 开什么玩笑 这全是你的错
Some? Joker, this is all your fault.
降落伞 立刻启动
Airstrip. Now.
对不起 天呐
I’m sorry. Jeez.
不是故意惹毛你的
Didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers.
我恨你
I hate you.
心肝 这就是我们一直在等待的机会
Lovey, this is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for.
我有很多装备想要在实战时测试
There are so many gadgets I wanna test in the field.
我们有粘合泡泡枪 万花筒手榴弹
We got the binder bubbles, collide-oscope,
催眠星星 责备飞弹 鼾声鱼雷
hypno-stars, blamethrower, snorepedo.
我们有多功能笔
We’ve got the multi-pen.
我们都没试过多功能笔
We haven’t even tried the multi-pen in the…
我需要一个代号♥
I’m gonna need a code name.
模仿007经典台词”我叫邦德 詹姆斯·邦德”
键 氢键
Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
不要 到底在哪
Oh, no, where is it?
等等 那是什么
Wait! What is that?
那是什么
What is that?
不不 飞 快飞 快飞 快飞
Oh! No, no. Fly, fly, fly! Fly, fly, fly!
你在里面还好吧
Hey, everything go okay in there?
我刚刚发现大号♥和小号♥
I just found out that number one and number two…
都从一个地方出来
both come out of the same place.
所以不好 一点也不好
So, no. Things are not okay.
那叫做泄殖腔
Yeah. It’s called a cloaca.
听来奇怪也很恶心
It sounds weird and gross,
但有泄殖腔就是说…
but having a cloaca just means…
哥们
Dude!
我知道是什么意思
I know what it means.
我在镜子里看到了
Saw it in the mirror.
我知道你现在心情很差
I know you’re not in a good place right now…
但做鸽子也有好处
but there are benefits to being a pigeon.
听清楚我这鸟喙说的话