变身特工

-我要怎么做 -真怪
– How am I gonna do this? – Um, that’s weird.
这真糟糕
This is bad.
-有只鸽子在你屋里 -不是的
– To have a pigeon in your house. – No, it’s not.
很神奇
It’s amazing.
是科学 来吧
It’s science. Here we go.
你刚刚喝下了一种可食用配方
You just drank an ingestible formula
它的CRISPR-Cas9基因编辑器
that uses a CRISPR-Cas9 genetic editor…
可以在分子层面重组你的DNA
to resequence your DNA on a molecular level.
科学超棒
Science rocks.
帮我个忙
Okay, here’s what I need you to do.
假装自己是个正常人
Pretend like you’re a normal person
跟一个比你帅得多的正常人解释
talking to a much cooler normal person.
在四十五秒之后
In precisely 45 seconds,
你将变成…
you will transform into…
一只鸽子
a pigeon.
再见
I’m out.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait.
你将经历的一切
What you’re about to experience
是特工行动的未来
is the future of espionage.
好吧
Okay.
你或许会有一些轻微的不适
You might be experiencing some mild discomfort.
或严重的不适
Or severe.
我会做好记录的
I’ll make a note of that.
你是报复我开除你 对吧
This is because I fired you, right?
够了 我要走了
Okay, I’m gonna walk outta here.
可能不容易哦
Yeah, that might be hard.
因为你的染色体正在断裂重组
Because you’re in the middle of chromothripsis.
好吧 估计要晕了
Okay, might pass out.
你肯定得晕过去
You’re definitely gonna pass out.
你的基因组会被粉粹
Your genomes are being smashed apart…
然后重组为鸽子的DNA
so they can be reassembled with pigeon DNA.
抗住 兰斯
Muscle it down, Lance.
抗住
Muscle it down.
你做了什么 你做了什么
What did you do? What did you do?
你正在进入第二阶段
You’re entering Phase Two.
表观遗传调节
Epigenetic modulation.
设想一下所有的基因都有一个开关
Think of each gene as having a switch.
然后你的开关会一个接一个地拨到鸽子那一类
And one by one, your switches are flipping to pigeon.
人鸽 人鸽 人鸽
Human-pigeon, human-pigeon, human-pigeon.
人鸽 人鸽 人鸽
Human-pigeon, human-pigeon, human-pigeon.
别动灯了
Stop with the lights!
等等 快看我的手
Wait, look at my hand!
我的手怎么了
What’s happening to my hand?
缩小的手
Baby hand.
这是最后一个阶段
This is the final phase!
也不赖嘛
This isn’t so bad.
你的身体大量分泌内啡呔
Your body is being flooded with endorphins
让你准备迎接即将到来的
to prepare you for the immense physical pain
生理剧痛
you’re about to experience.
等等 再说一遍
Wait. Say that again.
你给我下毒了
You poisoned me!
“下毒”
“Poisoned”?
我的专业又不是这个
That’s not even my department.
快把毒排出去
Squeeze the poison out.
我不建议这么做
I wouldn’t do that.
三秒钟
Three seconds.
你不会有事的 相信我
You’re gonna be fine. Trust me.
来吧
Here we go.
怎么回事
What?
那个表有点快
That clock’s fast.
兰斯
Lance?
兰斯
Lance.
成功了
It worked.
实验对象体征稳定
Subject’s vitals are stable.
插入直肠温度计
Inserting rectal thermometer.
没关系的 朋友
It’s okay, buddy.
没关系的 你别担心
It’s okay. Don’t you worry.
你的好朋友沃尔特就在这呢
Your good friend Walter is here.
实验对象似乎晕头转向了
Subject appears disoriented.
我当然晕头转向了
Of course I’m disoriented.
你会说话
You can talk?
心肝 他会说话
Lovey, he can talk!
-成功了 -我的眼睛
– It worked. – My eyes!
成功了
It worked.
-你敢相信吗 -你把我的眼睛怎么了
– Can you believe this? – What did you do to my eyes?
-兰斯 看着我 -你都做了…
– Lance, look at me. – What did…
看着你
Look at you?
我做不到不看你 沃尔特
I can’t not look at you, Walter.
我能同时看到我的屁♥股♥和你的脸
I can see my butt and your face at the same time!
真是太酷了
That is so cool!
事实上 鸽子的视野有360度
Fact, pigeons have 360-degree vision.
现在没人能从身后偷偷接近你了
Now, nobody can sneak up behind you.
-行了 妹子 别蹭了 -真是太棒了
– Stop, girl. Come on. – This is so great.
世界上所有的
Pigeons can be found
大城市里都有鸽子
in every major city around the world…
没人会注意到鸽子
and no one notices them.
这是特工最佳的潜伏形式
It’s the most perfect form a spy could take.
你最好马上把我变回去
You better un-bird me right now.
我受够了 我没和你开玩笑 把我变回…
That’s it. I’m not playing with you. Un-bird…
我的嗓门太大了
I’m raising my voice.
我或许不该对你大声吼
I probably shouldn’t be raising my voice at you.
你估计也能理解
I guess you could imagine
我现在有点焦虑
I’m a little stressed right now.
我需要你把我变回去 沃尔特
I need you to un-bird me, Walter.
当然可以
Of course.
我现在就开始研究解药
I’ll start working on an antidote right now.
开始
Start?
这个配方还完全处于理论阶段 但你…
The formula was purely theoretical until you…
你会开始研究 你没有解药
You’re gonna start? You don’t have an antidote?
行了 妹子 认真的
Stop, girl, seriously.
好吧 好吧
Okay, okay.
你把我变成了鸽子 但无法把我变回去
So, you birded me, and you can’t un-bird me.
严格来说 是你把自己变成鸽子的
Technically, you kind of birded yourself.
我要揍这小子
I’mma hurt this boy.
-我要揍这小子 -不 不 听我说
– I’mma hurt this boy. – No, no, look.
我知道你不高兴 但一切都没关系的
I know you’re upset, but everything’s okay.
我已经打给了情报局 说你在这里
I called the Agency and told them you’re here.
你做了什么
You did what?
不 不 没事的
No, no, no, it’s okay.
我没告诉他们你成了一只鸽子
I didn’t tell them you’re a bird.
虽然我觉得他们
Although I think they’re gonna
马上就会弄明白
figure that out pretty quickly.
我要闪了
I gotta ghost.
好吧 或许你这个新身体还有
Yeah, there may be one or two downsides
一两处不足之处
to your new form.
韦伯斯特 开门
Webster, open the door.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
-怎么… -你为什么要躲情报局
– What… – Why are you running from the Agency?
松开我 我要跑…
Get off me! I’m running…
因为有一个和我长得一样的坏人
because there’s a bad guy out there with my face…
我现在必须要去阻止他
and now I have to try to stop him
伤害别人 以我这鸽子的身份
from hurting people while being a bird.
为此我谢谢你 非常感谢你
And thank you for that. Thank you very much for that.
知道吗 我要再开除你一次
You know what? You’re fired again.
两度被炒
Double fired!
没这种说法吧
I don’t think that’s a thing.
有的 现在就有了
It’s a thing. It’s a thing now.
好吧
Okay.
就是一身翼装
It’s a wingsuit.
还能有多难
How hard could it be?