变身特工

谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
气色不错啊 斯特林特工
Looking good, Agent Sterling!
你看起来也不错嘛
Not looking so bad yourself.
谢谢 谢谢大家
Thank you. Thank you.
大家回去工作吧 回去…
Yeah, you know what? Go ahead back to work. Go ahead back…
这太…太隆重了
It’s too… It’s too much.
或许隆重得刚刚好
It’s probably the right amount.
不过你们还是该回去工作 回去工作
But still go back to work. Still go back to work.
你真疯狂
You’re so crazy.
你好啊 斯特林
What’s up, Sterling?
卢卡斯
Lucas!
我叫戴夫
My name’s Dave.
就是这样 很高兴见到你
There you go. Good to see you.
-早上好 长官 -各位好 击个拳
– Morning, sir. – Fellas, give it to me.
-哥们 你看到了吗 -再也别洗那只手了
– Dude, did you see that? – Never wash that hand again.
我感觉变强了 我真的感觉变强了
I feel stronger. Like, I legit feel stronger.
-我能握一下吗 -当然
– Can I hold it? – Yeah.
-会计部的伙计 -感谢获胜 斯特林
– Dude from Accounting. – Thanks for the win, Sterling.
算好我的钱 算好我的钱
Keep my money right. Keep my money right.
去吧 伙计 好的
Go ahead, man. All right.
欢迎回来 兰斯
Welcome back, Lance.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
他是历来最可爱的特工
He’s the most adorable agent ever!
有人要倒霉了
Somebody gonna get it.
斯特林特工
Agent Sterling.
沃尔特·贝克特
Walter Beckett.
怪胎
Weirdo.
独角特爱你
Unitee loves you.
好的 独角特
All right, Unitee.
想象一下
Imagine…
水热爆♥炸♥即将把你的脸融掉
a hydrothermal explosion is about to melt your face off.
但这是什么
But what’s this?
一个能用安全密封囊包住你的装备
A gadget that can surround you in a pressurized pocket of safety?
“有用吗” 暂时没用 但说不定呢
“Can it work?” It hasn’t yet, but maybe.
来吧
Here we go.
第九场 第三十次测试
Session number nine, test 30…
特伦斯
Terrance.
今晚有《心在首尔》的季终集
Tonight’s the season finale of Hearts in Seoul.
我给你发了电子邀请
I sent you an e-vite.
我…
I…
你只需点一下”接受”…
You just click “accept” in your…
斯特林特工
Agent Sterling.
我是沃尔特·贝克特 很高兴见到…
Walter Beckett. Pleasure to meet…
你用了
You used it.
你碰了我的东西
You touched my stuff.
好吧 我知道那不合传统 但…
Okay, okay. Look, I know it’s non-traditional, but…
想象一下 小鬼
Feel me here, little man.
我在外面
So, I’m out there…
拯救世界 做大事
you know, and I’m saving the world, doing big things.
那就是我的工作
That’s what I do.
我的方式
And the way I do it…
就是让我的东西
is to have my things
发挥它们应该发挥的功能
do the things I expect my things to do.
没错
Yep.
比如爆♥炸♥
Like blow stuff up.
在外面
See, out there…
我得以火攻火
I gotta fight fire with fire.
因为如果我尝试以闪粉攻火
Because if I try to fight fire with glitter…
我的脸可能会被烧掉
I could get my face burned off.
但你没有
But you didn’t.
因为猫咪闪粉起效了
Because the kitty glitter worked.
-猫砂 -闪粉
– Kitty litter? – Glitter.
猫咪闪粉
Kitty glitter.
科学证据表明看到小猫咪
It’s scientifically proven that watching kittens…
会使肠嗜铬细胞分泌血清素
causes the enterochromaffin cells to release serotonin.
闪粉让人开心
Glitter makes people happy.
知道什么会更好用吗
Know what works even better?
手榴弹
A grenade.
那有点暴♥力♥ 不是吗
It’s kinda violent, don’t you think?
拥抱拯救不了世界 威尔逊
Can’t save the world with a hug, Wilson.
我叫沃尔特
It’s Walter.
如果可以呢
And what if you could?
抱抱气囊
The inflatable hug.
我最近在研发的一种自我保护装备
Kind of a personal protection device I’ve been developing.
这是对纳税人税款的可耻浪费
This is a vile waste of taxpayer dollars.
我只是想说 让人们团结
Look, I’m just saying you can do more by bringing people together…
比把人炸飞更有意义
than blowing them up.
如果我能说服你
And if I can convince you,
我们就能说服整个情报局
we can convince the whole agency.
没有”我们”
There is no “we.”
斯特林特工…
Agent Sterling. Just…
-好吧 好吧 -小屁孩
– Okay. Okay, okay. – Millennials.
不 等等 等等 请不要关门
No, wait, wait, wait. Please don’t close that door.
不感兴趣
Not interested.
你一定得听我说完
Listen, you gotta hear me out.
不管是什么 不听
Whatever it is, no.
我一直在家研究一样东西
Look, I’ve been working on this thing at home, right…
它将永远改变特工行动
that is gonna change spying forever.
想象一下
Imagine…
如果我能让你 稍等
if I could make you, wait for it…
请击鼓
drumroll, please…
消失
disappear.
消失
Disappear?
没错
Yeah.
消失
Disappear.
你为什么那个样子说话
Why are you saying it like that?
为了创造效果
For effect.
它让我特别兴奋
I’m totally excited about it.
它叫
It’s called
生物动态隐形
bio-dynamic concealment.
嘭 扔麦
Boom. Mic drop.
把这张脸隐形
Conceal this?
那样就不需要防弹衣
I mean, you wouldn’t need a bulletproof suit.
不需要爆♥炸♥袖扣
You wouldn’t need exploding cufflinks.
你可以潜入任何地方
You could blend in anywhere.
如果你完全…
What if you were totally…
隐形呢
invisible?
哥们
Dude.
太惨了
That’s a mess.
别担心
Don’t worry yourself.
效果只是暂时的
The effects, they’re only temporary.
好吧好吧 我要出去了
All right, cool, cool. I’m gonna get outta here.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait.
你是世界上最厉害的特工
Look, you’re the world’s greatest spy.
从来没有人肯听我的想法
Nobody ever listens to my ideas
或给我机会
or gives me a chance…
但如果你给我机会
but if you did…
我们联手
together…
真的能大有作为
we could really make a difference.
“大有作为”
“Make a difference”?
小子 我就是作为本为
Boy, I am the difference.
我只需要你在我想要手榴弹时
All I need from you is when I want a grenade…
给我制♥造♥手榴弹
make me a grenade.
你能做到吗
Can you do that?
有更好的方法
There’s a better way.
回答错误 威利
Wrong answer, Willy.
你被开除了
You’re fired.
什么 等等
What? Wait.
不不不 请不要开除我
No, no, no. Please, please don’t fire me!
怪胎
Weirdo.