变身特工

沃尔特 你见到我的镊子了吗
Walter, have you seen my tweezers?
抱歉 你需要用那个杯子吗
Sorry. Did you need that mug?
我需要喝那杯咖啡
I needed that coffee.
那么
So…
-独角特 -你在做什么呢 伙计
– Unitee. – what you making, bud?
给你巡逻时用的装备
A gadget for you to wear on patrol.
这是能保护你的最佳工具
It’s the perfect tool to keep you safe.
按这个按钮会发出巨响
This button makes a really loud sound
让敌人失去行动力
to incapacitate your enemies.
像这样
Like that.
按这个会把你包裹在抱抱气囊中
This one can wrap you in an inflatable hug
这样就没人能伤到你了
so no one can hurt you.
这个是在你寡不敌众的时候用的
And this one is for when you’re outnumbered.
只要你平举着手说 “不许动”
You just hold out your hand and say, “Stop!”
然后砰
And boom!
就有闪粉撒下来
Glitter cloud!
坏人就不会伤害你了
And the bad guys will leave you alone.
因为闪粉让人开心吗
Because glitter makes people happy?
因为折射光
Because the refracted light
会让肠嗜铬细胞
causes the enterochromaffin cells
释放血清素
to release serotonin.
是的 闪粉让人开心
Yeah, glitter makes people happy.
我们试试
Let’s try it out.
你说不许我拆掉你的手♥机♥ 对吧
Remember how you told me not to take apart your cell phone?
沃尔特·贝克特 你把我的手♥机♥…
Walter Beckett, you took apart my…
还想杀我吗
Still wanna kill me?
不 恰恰相反
No. Just the opposite.
那就说明管用
Then it works!
我还在考虑加一些猫咪影像
I also wanna add some kitten visuals
它能刺♥激♥眼窝前额皮质
to trigger the orbitofrontal cortex.
11-A-25 代号♥6 北104
11-A-25, Code Six, 104 North.
亲爱 我得走了
Hon, I gotta go.
该我值班了
Time for my shift.
乖乖的 好吗
Be good for Gram, okay?
我和你一起去
I’ll come with you.
我可以在路上做好这个东西
I can finish this on the way.
绝对不给你添麻烦
You won’t even know I’m there.
你现在需要去上学
What you need to do is get ready for school.
妈妈 学校最无聊
Oh, Mom, school’s boring.
而且同学都说我是怪胎
And the kids think I’m weird.
怪胎
Weird?
看着我
Hey, look at me.
怪又怎么了
What’s wrong with weird?
世界需要这种怪
The world needs weird.
听着 我现在是在保护我们的社区
Listen, I’m out there keeping the neighborhood safe.
但总有一天 你的这些创意
But one day, your ideas…
你的装备
your gadgets…
将能保护这个世界
are gonna keep the world safe.
而所有人都会希望自己和你一样怪
And everybody will wish they were as weird as you.
你真这么觉得吗
You think?
我很确定
I know.
好了 给我一个不是气囊的抱抱吧
Now, give me a non-inflatable hug.
爱你 搭档
Love you, partner.
我保证 我永远都会支持你
I promise I’ll always have your back.
怪胎队
Team Weird?
怪胎队
Team Weird.
冷死我了
Man, it’s cold!
伙计们 你们好
Hey, fellas. Konichiwa.
我是兰斯·斯特林特工
Special Agent Lance Sterling.
你们好吗
How you livin’?
好的好的
Okay, okay.
都冷静了吧
Everybody good?
我只是要拿走他的枪
I’m just gonna take his gun
然后丢给那个雪人
and I’m gonna toss it to that snowman.
然后在你们俩一头雾水
And while you’re both looking all confused,
想搞清楚怎么回事的时候
trying to figure out what’s going on…
我就打晕你们
I’m just gonna knock you out.
没必要这样吧
He didn’t deserve that.
带翅膀的小老鼠
Rats with wings.
我就位了
I’m in position.
情况如何
What is your situation?
监控马上
Just getting a visual…
就位
now.
十点钟方向
10 o’clock.
木村胜
Katsu Kimura.
最受欢迎军♥火♥商
Everybody’s favorite arms dealer.
那里 那个公文箱就是目标
There. That briefcase is your objective.
里面放的是M9暗♥杀♥无人机
Inside is the M9 Assassin.
第一款半自动攻击型无人机
The first semi-autonomous attack drone,
依靠大气电学供能
powered by atmospheric energy.
永不关机
Never shuts down,
绝不会中途放弃目标
never stops pursuing its target.
是他们从我们的秘密武器实验室偷走的
They stole it from our covert weapons lab.
詹金斯局长
Director Jenkins,
有敌人向他移♥动♥
he’s got incoming.
监测到附近多了七十个敌人
Detecting 70 extra hostiles around the perimeter.
我不想再来一次吉尔吉斯斯坦那样的大混战
I don’t want another mess like Kyrgyzstan.
兰斯 来了七十个黑社会歹徒
Lance, listen to me. You’ve got 70 yakuza incoming.
先撤退
Stand down.
没我平时处理的棘手嘛
That’s better odds than I usually get.
不 不要交战
No! Do not engage.
这次你要等后援队
This time, you need to wait for the backup team.
队伍
Team?
我一向单飞
I fly solo.
等等 兰斯 听我…
Wait. Lance, listen to…
我想他关掉了…
I think he cut off…
-我知道 -好的 抱歉
– I get it! – Yeah, great, that’s right. Sorry.
买♥♥家来了 去
The buyer is here. Go!
看来该出场了
Guess it’s time to introduce myself.
你知道怎么确认自己是世界最棒的特工吗
You know how you can tell when you’re the world’s greatest spy?
斯特林
Sterling.
兰斯·斯特林
Lance Sterling.
当大家都知道你的名字的时候
Everyone knows the name.
我要那个公文箱
I’mma need that case.
除非我死了
Over my dead body.
只需要在迷走神经上施加三盎司的力量
Just 3 ounces of pressure to the vagus nerve…
瞧瞧你的人
and then look at your boy.
晚安了您呐
Sleepy night-night.
介意给我搭把手吗
Hey, you mind giving me a hand?
拜托
Come on.
哪句把你惹生气了 关于手的玩笑吗
What was it? The hand joke?
你不记得我了 是吗
You don’t remember me, do you?
我能说什么 我见得坏人太多了
What can I say? I meet a lot of bad guys.
我会让你体验到前所未有的痛苦
I’m gonna show you pain that you can’t imagine.
别留情
Make it hurt.
感觉那句不是什么好话
I don’t think that subtitle was in my favor.
好的 好的
Okay. Oh, okay.
你们想来硬的 那就来吧
You wanna do it the hard way? Let’s go, then.
我们来硬的
Let’s do it the hard way.
大闹一场吧
It’s about to get messy.
搞什么…
What the…
别太在意输赢
Don’t take the loss so hard.
你们已经很不错了
I mean, you did great.
而且你们还见到了兰斯·斯特林
And you got to meet Lance Sterling.
下一个 好的 东西都放在篮子里
Next. Okay, put everything in the bin.
好 过去吧
Yes, come through.
-他来了 -他来了
– He’s coming. – Wow. Here he comes!
是的
Yes,
你们没看错
your eyes aren’t deceiving you.
是的 就是他
Yep, it’s him.