蜘蛛侠：英雄归来

好吧
Okay.
穿上点衣服吧
Maybe put on some clothes.
-她还不知道吗 -谁都不知道
– She doesn’t know? – Nobody knows.
斯塔克先生知道 因为他给我做了战衣
I mean, Mr. Stark knows because he made my suit.
但没别人了
But that’s it.
那是托尼·斯塔克做的 你是复仇者吗
Tony Stark made you that? Are you an Avenger?
是啊 差不多吧
Yeah, basically.
-天呐 -你不能告诉任何人
– Oh, geez. – You can’t tell anybody about this.
你得保密
You gotta keep it a secret.
-秘密 为什么 -你知道她的
– Secret? Why? – You know what she’s like.
她要是知道我每晚都被人追杀
If she finds out people try and kill me every single night,
她就不会允许我再做下去了
she’s not gonna let me do this anymore.
拜托了 内德
Come on, Ned, please.
好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
我跟你说实话
I’ll level with you.
我觉得我保不了密
I don’t think I can’t keep this a secret.
这是我遇到过的最棒的事
It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
内德 梅绝不能知道
Ned, May cannot know.
我现在不能让她那样担心
I cannot do that to her right now.
知道吗
You know?
她经受了那么多事 我…
I mean, everything that’s happened with her, I–
求你
Please.
-好吧 -发誓 好吗
– Okay. – Just swear it, okay?
我发誓
I swear.
-谢谢 -嗯
– Thank you. – Yeah.
真不敢相信
I can’t believe this is happening now.
-我能试试战衣吗 -不能
– Can I try the suit on? – No.
它是什么原理 磁铁吗
How’s it work? Is it magnets?
那些线你怎么射出来的
How do you shoot the strings?
-明天到学校跟你讲 好吗 -太好了
– I’m gonna tell you about this at school tomorrow, okay? – Great.
好吧 等一下
Okay, well, wait, then.
你怎么同时做这个和斯塔克的实习
How do you do this and the Stark internship?
这就是斯塔克的实习
This is the Stark internship.
快走吧
Just get out of here.
怎么了
What’s the matter?
你不是喜欢肉沙拉吗
Thought you loved larb.
太腻了吗
It’s too larby?
不够腻
Not larby enough.
你还要我说几次”腻”
How many times do I have to say “larb” before…
才肯跟我说话
You talk to me?
你知道我爱腻
You know I larb you.
我就是压力大 实习让我好累
I’m just stressed. The internship, and I’m tired.
很忙碌
A lot of work.
斯塔克的实习
The Stark internship.
跟你说 我可不怎么喜欢那个托尼·斯塔克
I have to tell you, not a fan of that Tony Stark.
你总是一心多用 他搞得你心神不宁
You’re distracted all the time. He’s got you in your head.
深受喜爱的皇后区达尔摩三明治店
…the beloved Queens institution Delmar Sandwiches
What does he have you doing?
在今晚早些时候的一场爆♥炸♥中被毁
was destroyed in an explosion earlier tonight
You need to use your instincts.
爆♥炸♥起因是一场被挫败的自动提款机抢劫
after an ATM robbery was thwarted
而见义勇为的正是皇后区本地的犯罪终结者
by Queens’ own colorful local crime stopper,
What?
蜘蛛侠
The Spider-man.
蜘蛛侠在阻止他们抢劫的过程中
As the Spider-man attempted to foil their heist,
一股强大的冲击波被触发
a powerful blast was set off,
结果切碎了街对面的小店
slicing through the bodega across the street.
奇迹的是 没人受伤
Miraculously, no one was harmed.
你要是看到了这样的事
If you spot something like that happening,
立刻调头就跑
you turn and you run the other way.
嗯嗯 当然了
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
离我们就六个街区
Six blocks away from us.
我需要新背包
I need a new backpack.
-什么 -我需要新背包
– What? – I need a new backpack.
这都第五个了
That’s five.
-糯米布丁 -我们没点那个
– Sticky rice pudding. – We didn’t order that.
请你们的
It’s on the house.
谢谢
Thanks.
他真好心
That’s nice of him.
我觉得他喜欢腻
I think he larbs you.
你被一只蜘蛛咬了
You got bit by a spider?
能让它咬咬我吗
Can it bite me?
大概挺疼的吧
Well, it probably would’ve hurt, right?
算了 就算真疼 我也忍♥了
Whatever. Even if it did hurt, I’d let it bite me.
或许吧 到底多疼
Maybe. How much did it hurt?
那只蜘蛛死了 内德
The spider’s dead, Ned.
你当时在场
You were here?
是啊
Yeah.
你可能会没命呢
You could’ve died.
你下蛋吗
Do you lay eggs?
什么 不
What? No.
-你能吐毒液吗 -不能
– Can you spit venom? – No.
你能召唤一支蜘蛛大军出来吗
Can you summon an army of spiders?
不能 内德
No, Ned.
《索科威亚协议》的签订
The Sokovia Accords were put into place…
你的动♥*♥态♥*♥网♥能射多远
How far can you shoot your webs?
没试过 闭嘴
It’s unknown. Shut up.
开始管理…
–to begin regulating…
我要是你 就站在一栋建筑边缘
If I was you, I would stand on the edge of a building
-尽量往远了射 -闭嘴啦 内德
– and shoot as far as I could– – Shut up, Ned.
大家好 我是美国队长
I’m Captain America.
不管你是在课堂里 还是战场上
Whether you’re in the classroom or on the battlefield…
-你还认识他吗 -嗯 我们见过
– Do you know him too? – Yeah, we met.
-我偷了他的盾 -什么
– I stole his shield. – What?
今天 我的好朋友 你们的体育老师
Today, my good friend, your gym teacher
将带大家进行美国队长健身挑战
will be conducting the Captain America Fitness Challenge.
谢谢 队长
Thank you, captain.
这家伙按说现在是战犯了
Pretty sure this guy’s a war criminal now,
但管他呢 我必须给你们看视频
but whatever, I have to show these videos.
是州的要求 我们开始吧
It’s required by the state. Let’s do it.
复仇者还要缴税吗
Do Avengers have to pay taxes?
绿巨人什么味儿
What does Hulk smell like?
-肯定香香的 -闭嘴吧
– I bet he smells nice. – You have to shut up.
美国队长人挺好吗 还是坏脾气老头那种
Is Captain America cool, or is he like a mean, old grandpa?
内德 别说了 好吗
Ned, just shh, okay?
我能做你的技术支援吗
Can I be your guy in the chair?
什么
What?
就是那个戴着耳机
Yeah. You know how there’s a guy with a headset
指挥另一个人行动的人
telling the other guy where to go?
比如 如果你困在了火场里
Like, if you ever stuck in a burning building,
我可以告诉你该去哪
I could tell you where to go.
我可以在一堆屏幕之间周♥旋♥
Cause, there’d be screens around me, and I could swivel around them.
我可以做你的技术支援
Cause, I could be your guy in the chair.
内德 我不需要技术支援
Ned, I don’t need a guy in the chair.
不错 帕克
Looking good, Parker.
要是我呢 就是上托尔
Now, see, for me, it would be f Thor
嫁钢铁侠 杀绿巨人
marry Iron Man and kill Hulk.
那蜘蛛大侠呢
Well, what about the Spider-man?
就是蜘蛛侠
It’s just Spider-man.
你们在油管上看到银行的监控录像了吗
Did you guys see that bank security cam on YouTube?
他打退了四个人
He fought off four guys.
天呐 她喜欢上蜘蛛侠了
Oh, my god, she’s crushing on Spider-man.
不会吧
No way.
-有点吧 -恶心
– Kind of. – Oh, gross.
他可能都30了
He’s probably, like, 30.
你都不知道他长什么样
You don’t know what he looks like.
要是他严重烧伤了呢
What if he’s seriously burned?
我不会在乎 我还是会爱他的为人
I wouldn’t care. I’d still love him for the person he is inside.
彼得认识蜘蛛侠
Peter knows Spider-man.
不 我不 不…
No, I don’t. No. I– I mean–
他们是朋友
They’re friends.
威尔森教练还是美国队长的”好朋友”呢