蜘蛛侠：英雄归来

我跟黑寡妇的约会就要到了
I got a hot date with Black Widow coming up.
伪命题
That is false.
不是叫你别乱按铃胡闹吗
What’d I tell you about using the bell for comedic purposes?
-好啊 -你好
– Hey, what’s up? – Hey, man.
你好啊 达尔摩先生
What’s up, Mr. Delmar?
帕克先生
Mr. Parker.
还是5号♥ 是吗
Number five, right?
嗯 加酸黄瓜
Yeah, and with pickles,
麻烦压得扁扁的 谢谢
and can you smush it down real flat? Thanks.
好嘞
You got it, boss.
你婶婶怎么样了
How’s your aunt?
她挺好
Yeah, she’s all right.
他婶婶是个很性感的意大利女人
She’s a very hot Italian woman.
你女儿怎么样了
How’s your daughter?
-10美元 -写着5元啊
– Ten dollars. – It’s $5.
叫你嘴贱 10美元
For that comment, $10.
拜托 就是开玩笑
Come on. I’m joking. I’m joking.
给你5美元
Here’s $5.
好啊 墨菲
What’s up, Murph?
你好吗 伙计
How you doing, buddy?
学校怎么样
So how’s school?
无聊啊 我有更好玩的事可做
You know. It’s boring. Got better things to do.
要好好上学 孩子 记住
Stay in school, kid. Stay in school.
否则 会落得像我一样
Otherwise, you’re gonna end up like me.
-这多棒 -皇后区最好的三明治
– This is great. – Best sandwiches in Queens.
可算啊
Finally.
你什么毛病
What’s the matter with you?
你能拿一下吗 谢谢
Could you hold this for a second? Thanks.
这是谁的自行车 没人认吗
Is this anybody’s bike? No?
-哥们 这是你的自行车吗 -没零钱
– Hey, buddy, is this your bike? – I have no change.
谁有笔吗 你有笔吗
Does anyone have a pen? Do you have a pen?
大家都好吗
Everybody good?
你是油管上那个蜘蛛男 是吧
You’re that spider guy on YouTube, right?
叫我蜘蛛侠啦
Call me spider-man!
好啊 蜘蛛侠 翻个身
Okay, spider-man. Do a flip.
-好啊 -不赖
– Yeah! – Not bad.
伙计
Hey, buddy.
别偷车 这可不好
Shouldn’t steal cars, it’s bad.
这是我的车 蠢蛋
It’s my car, dumbass!
快关掉
Shut that off!
-能不能告诉他这是我的车 -我就是…
– Can you tell him it’s my car? – I was just–
我还上夜班呢 拜托
I work at nights. Come on.
那不是你的车
That’s not your car!
-那是他的车 -我怎么能知道是他的
– That’s his car. – How was I supposed to know it’s his car?
-他还撬窗 -每天都这么吵吵
– He put that in the window! – Every day with these damn alarms!
-关掉 -别逼我下去收拾你
– Turn it off! – Don’t make me come down there, you punk.
加里 你好吗
Hey, Gary! How you doing?
玛乔莉 你好吗 你妈妈好吗
Marjorie, how are you? How’s your mother?
我没事
I’m good, I’m good.
已为您接入语♥音♥信箱 收件人
You have reached the voicemail box of:
哈皮·霍根
Happy Hogan.
哈皮 跟你报告下今天的战绩
Hey, happy. Here’s my report for tonight.
我拦截了一个自行车大盗
I stopped a grand theft bicycle.
但没找到车主 就留了张字条
Couldn’t find the owner, so I just left a note.
我还帮助了一位迷路的多米尼加老太太
I helped this lost, old Dominican lady.
她很客气 还给我买♥♥了个西班牙油条
She was really nice and bought me a churro.
我就是觉得 我还能做到更多
I just feel like I could be doing more.
我就是想知道下次任务会是什么时候
You know? Just curious when the next real mission’s gonna be.
嗯 那打给我哦
So, yeah, just call me back.
我是彼得 帕克
It’s Peter. Parker.
干嘛把油条的事说出来啊
Why would I tell him about the churro?
好吧
Okay.
真等不及看看它的威力了
Can’t wait to see this thing.
可算有动真格的了
Finally, something good.
有这高科技的玩意简直太轻松了
Yo, this high-tech stuff makes it too easy.
-就说这个值吧 -快来
– Told you it was worth it. – Okay, go, go, go.
漂亮
Nice.
我们今晚还能再劫五个动♥*♥态♥*♥网♥点
We can hit, like, five more places tonight.
几位好啊 这是忘记卡♥号♥♥了吗
What’s up, guys? You forget your pin number?
你们是复仇者诶
You’re the Avengers.
你们怎么在这儿
What are you guys doing here?
托儿 绿巨人 可算见到你们了
Thor. Hulk. Good to finally meet you guys.
我以为你们本人会更帅些呢 钢铁侠
I thought you’d be more handsome in person. Iron man.
你抢银行干什么 你是亿万富翁啊
Hey, what are you doing robbing a bank? You’re a billionaire.
感觉好怪啊
This feels so weird.
那是什么玩意
What is that thing?
我开始…觉得…
I’m starting…To think…
你们不是…复仇者了
You’re not…The Avengers.
911 有什么紧急情况
911. What’s your emergency?
蜘蛛侠在大战复仇者联盟
Spider-man is fighting the Avengers
就在21街的一家银行里
in a bank on 21st street.
好了 各位 我们做个了结吧
All right, guys, let’s wrap this up.
明天还上学呢
It’s a school night.
你这样的混混哪弄来这样的装备的
So how do jerks like you get tech like this?
不 等等
No. Wait, wait, wait!
达尔摩先生
Mr. Delmar.
达尔摩先生 你在吗 有人在吗 有人吗
Mr. Delmar, you in here? Is anybody in here? Hello?
不是吧
Come on.
我得…
I gotta–
-给 -好
– here, here. – Good, yeah.
好的 很好
Okay. Good. Yes.
别别 放下来
Yes– no. No, put that down.
那可比你我都值钱
That’s worth more than you or me.
什么事
Yeah?
哈皮 我刚碰到了特别疯狂的事
Happy, the craziest thing just happened to me.
有群人拿着高科技的武器
These guys were robbing an ATM
打劫了一个自动提款机动♥*♥态♥*♥网♥点
with high-tech weapons–
慢慢说 我没工夫管小打小闹的
Take a breath. I don’t have time for ATM
-劫匪 -但是
– robberies – Yeah, but–
还有你体贴的留言
or the thoughtful notes you leave behind.
我还得操心搬家的事
I have moving day to worry about.
下周前所有东西都得搬走
Everything’s gotta be out by next week.
等等 搬家 谁要搬家
Wait, wait. You’re moving? Who’s moving?
你不看新闻吗
Yeah, don’t you watch the news?
托尼卖♥♥了复仇者大楼
Tony sold Avengers Tower.
我们将迁至州北的新设施
We’re relocating to a new facility upstate
希望 那里的手♥机♥信♥号♥♥要烂一些
where hopefully the cell service is much worse.
-那我呢 -你怎么了
– But what about me? – What about you?
那要是斯塔克先生需要我呢
Well, what if Mr. Stark needs me or something
或是发生了什么大事呢
or I don’t know, something big goes down?
能不能让我跟斯塔克先生谈谈
Look, can I please just talk to Mr. Stark?
别干什么太危险的事
Look, just stay away from anything too dangerous.
我要负责确保你会负责行事 好吗
I’m responsible for making sure you’re responsible, okay?
我很负责的 我…
I am responsible. I–
该死
Crap.
-我的背包没了 -那不像负责的样子
– My backpack’s gone. – That doesn’t sound responsible.
-我再打给你吧 -不打也行的
– I’ll call you back. – Feel free not to.
什么声音
What was that?
没什么 没什么
It’s nothing. Nothing.
你是蜘蛛侠
You’re the spider-man.
-油管上那个 -我不是
– From YouTube. – I’m not. I’m not.
你刚刚趴在天花板上
You were on the ceiling.
我没有…你为什么在我房♥间里
No, I wasn’t… Man, what are you doing in my room?
梅让我进来的 我们说好一起做完死星的
May let me in. You said we were gonna finish the Death Star.
你不能就这么闯进我的房♥间
You can’t just bust into my room!
那个火鸡肉卷的菜谱太烂了
That Turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster.
我们出去吃吧 泰国菜行吗
Let’s go to dinner. Thai?
内德 吃泰国菜吗
Ned, you want thai?
-好啊 -不好 他还有事
– Yes. – No. He’s got a thing.
之后再做
A thing to do after.