心灵奇旅（2020）

几个世纪以来都没有停止过
The count hasn’t been off in centuries.
每天有151000个灵魂进入超度
151,000 souls go into the Great Beyond every day.
每分钟105.2个灵魂，杰瑞
That’s 105.2 souls per minute, Jerry.
每秒1.75个灵魂
1.75 souls per second.
我数了他们中的每一个
And I count every single one of ’em.
是的，我知道
Yep. I’m aware.
我的工作就是跟踪这些数据，杰瑞
It’s my job to keep track of this stuff, Jerry.
我是会计师
I’m the accountant.
我们都认为你做得很好
And we all think you’re doing a wonderful job,
-大伙儿说，不是吗？ -绝对
-don’t we, everyone? -Absolutely.
从这家伙的角度看很不错
Looks good from where this guy’s standing.
顾问杰瑞 E：我会说不
COUNSELOR JERRY E: I’d say no.
我一直在数。我正在数呢
I’m always counting. I’m counting right now.
自从我开始说话你眨了5次眼睛。6次
You blinked five times since I started talking. Six.
正确。既然会计是你的工作
Right. Since accounting is your job,
你为什么不去解决问题呢？
why don’t you figure out the problem?
-也许我会的 -太棒了
-Maybe I will. -Wonderful.
你好，泰瑞
Hello again, Terry.
别跟我装傻
Don’t play dumb with me.
好的，我们开始吧
Okay, here we go.
“A.”
你好，导师们
Hello, there, mentors.
我是杰瑞，你们研讨会的顾问
I’m Jerry, a counselor here at the You Seminar.
现在你不记得了，但你以前来过这里
Now you don’t remember it,
but you’ve been here before.
不要担心，忘记分娩的创伤
But don’t worry, forgetting the trauma of childbirth
是宇宙赐予我们的最好礼物之一
is one of the great gifts of the universe.
在你们的研讨会上
Here at the You Seminar,
所有的新灵魂都被赋予了独特和与众不同的个性
all new souls are given unique
and individual personalities.
我是一个和蔼可亲的怀疑论者，谨慎而又浮夸
I’m an agreeable skeptic who’s cautious yet flamboyant.
我是一个易怒的壁花，充满危险的好奇
I’m an irritable wallflower who’s dangerously curious.
我是一个控制欲很强的自大狂，机会主义很强
I’m a manipulative megalomaniac
who’s intensely opportunistic.
哦-呵，这个可能有点棘手
Oh-ho, this one might be a handful.
但这是地球的问题
But that’s Earth’s problem.
你会注意到这些灵魂都缺少一些东西
You’ll notice these souls are all missing something.
这个地方放什么？
What goes in this spot?
嗯，这些灵魂需要他们的“火花”
Well, these souls need their “spark.”
这就是你的作用所在
And that’s where you come in.
也许你会找到他们的火花
Maybe you will find their spark
在万物殿堂
in the Hall of Everything,
在那里，地球上的任何东西都能激发灵感
where literally anything on Earth could inspire.
或者你更喜欢你的大厅
Or perhaps you’ll prefer the Hall of You,
从你自己的鼓舞人心的生活中精选一些时刻
featuring a selection of moments from
your own inspiring life.
究竟什么是火花？
And just what is this spark?
我知道你们都很想去工作
I know you’re all excited to get to work,
祝你们好运找到火花
so good luck finding the spark.
找到火花
Find the spark.
哇，这是有益的
Wow, that was informative.
现在，是我最喜欢的环节
Now, it’s time for my favorite part of the program,
为你们的导师和灵魂伴侣配对
matching you mentors with your soul mates.
我们的第一位导师是玛丽亚·马丁内斯
Our first mentor is Maria Martinez.
玛丽亚，下来
Maria, come on down.
玛丽亚是一位罕见疾病专家
Maria was a rare disease specialist
来自墨西哥大学
from the University of Mexico.
我痊愈了。我痊愈了
I’m cured. I’m cured.
她会和我最喜欢的一个配对
She’ll be matched with one of my favorites,
灵魂号♥ 108210121415
soul number 108,210,121,415.
祝贺你！你走吧
Congratulations! Off you go.
我们的下一位导师是比约恩·T·伯格森
Our next mentor is Bjorn T. Börgensson.
伯格森博士是世界著名的儿童心理学家
Dr. Börgensson is a world-renowned child psychologist
他最近被授予诺贝尔奖
who was recently awarded a Nobel Prize.
我看到痛苦，死亡，毁灭
I see pain, death, destruction.
-现在怎么样？ -一只漂亮的蝴蝶
-How about now? -A pretty butterfly.
伯格森博士将与22号♥灵魂匹配
Dr. Börgensson will be matched with soul number 22.
哦，我们现在要讨论这个问题。请原谅我
Oh, we’re gonna get into this now. Excuse me.
22号♥，你现在就要脱离这个维度了
22, you come out of this dimension right now.
22：我要告诉你多少次？
22: How many times do I have to tell you?
我不想去地球
I don’t wanna go to Earth.
-别跟我争了，22号♥ -22：我不想
-Stop fighting this, 22. -22: I don’t wanna.
顾问杰瑞B：你会去地球的
COUNSELOR JERRY B: You will go to Earth
-有自己的生活 -22：让我来！
-and have a life. -22: Make me!
22号♥已经在”你的研讨会”上待了很长时间了
22 has been at the You Seminar for quite some time
并且有像甘地、亚伯拉罕·林肯和特蕾莎修女
and has had such notable mentors as Gandhi,
这样著名的导师
Abraham Lincoln, and Mother Teresa.
我把她弄哭了
I made her cry.
顾问杰瑞B：别理它
COUNSELOR JERRY B: Ignore that.
22：把我放下
22: Put me down.
我们真的很高兴你能来，伯格森博士
We’re truly glad to have you here, Dr. Börgensson.
很荣幸你们为地球准备了22号♥
It is an honor having you prepare 22 for Earth.
我要让你希望你永远不会死
I’m gonna make you wish you never died.
大多数人都希望如此，22号♥
Most people wish that, 22.
你走吧，再见！
Off you go. Bye!
我们在哪儿？
Where are we?
比约恩：这是一个很大的进步
BJORN: That’s great progress.
你应该感到非常自豪。逐步地
You should be very proud. Step by step.
为了庆祝伯格森博士的工作成果
In celebration of Dr. Börgensson’s body of work,
我们很高兴向他颁发这项荣誉…
we are pleased to present him this honorary…
比约恩：在过去的几周中，我看到了这种成长
BJORN: These past few weeks, I have seen such growth.
当然，我要感谢这么多人
So many people I’d like to thank, of course.
好吧，听着，我相信你的生活很精彩
Okay, look, I’m sure your life was amazing
你做了很多了不起的事
and you did amazing things,
但这就是我们要做的
but here’s what we’re gonna do.
我们就在这里安静地站一会儿
We’re gonna stand here in silence for a little bit,
然后我们回去，你说你试过了
then we go back out, you say you tried,
我回去过我的非生活，而你去超度
I go back to not living my non-life and
you go to the Great Beyond.
-不，看 -想说什么就说什么，比约恩
-No, look. -Talk all you want, Bjorn.
反正也没用的
It’s not gonna work, anyway.
我有成千上万的导师失败了，他们现在都恨我
I’ve had thousands of mentors
who failed and now hate me.
特蕾莎修女…
Mother Teresa…
我同情每一个灵魂
I have compassion for every soul.
除了你。我不喜欢你
Except you. I don’t like you.
哥白尼…
Copernicus…
世界不是围绕着你转的，22号♥
The world doesn’t revolve around you, 22.
穆♥罕♥默♥德♥·阿里…
Muhammad Ali…
你是最让人讨厌的人
You are the greatest pain in the butt.
玛丽·安托瓦内特…
Marie Antoinette…
没人能帮你！没人！
Nobody can help you! Nobody!
谢谢，但不用了，医生
Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.
我已经知道地球的一切了
I already know everything about Earth,
不值得这么麻烦
and it’s not worth the trouble.
来吧，你不想填写通行证吗？
Come on, don’t you want to fill out your pass?
你知道，我在这里很舒服
You know, I’m comfortable up here.
我有我的例行公事
I have my routine.
我漂浮在雾中，我做数独游戏
I float in mist, I do my Sudoku puzzles,
然后，就像，每周
and then, like, once a week,
他们让我参加一次”你的研讨会”
they make me come to one of these You Seminars.
虽然不是很好，但我知道会发生什么
It’s not great, but I know what to expect.
听着，孩子，我不是… 我能对你说实话吗？
Look, kid, I’m not… Can I just be honest with you?
我不是比约恩·伯格森
I’m not Bjorn Börgensson?
或者别的什么人。我甚至都不是导师
or whatever his name is. I’m not even a mentor.
不是导师？
Not a mentor?
啊…
Ah…
这是逆反心理学
Reverse psychology.
你真是个优秀的心理医生，医生
You really are a good shrink, Doctor.
卡尔·荣格已经试过了
Carl Jung already tried that.
别说了！我的潜意识讨厌你！
Stop talking! My unconscious mind hates you!
有什么办法
Is there any way
在这里展示不同的生活吗？
to show a different life in this place?
等等。你真的不是比约恩·伯格森？