苏菲的抉择（1982）

“Make this bed with awe.
“在床上等待最后的裁判
“In it, wait till judgment break,
“完美而公正
“excellent and fair.
“让床上的垫子平坦
“Be its mattress straight.
“让床上的枕头浑♥圆♥
“Be its pillow round.
“不要让日出的黄色噪音
“Let no sunrise yellow noise
“打扰此地”
“interrupt this ground.”
我的挚爱新友内森
Nathan, my new and dear beloved friend,
为我介绍了似乎可以慰藉欲望的朋友
introduced me to what seemed the answer to my relentless all-consuming horniness.
接受分♥析♥之前我完全无欲念
Before I went into analysis, I was completely frigid.
你可以想像吗
Can you imagine?
现在我只是想着性事
Now all I can do is think about fucking.
威廉·赖希将我变成色情狂
Wilhelm Reich has turned me into a nympho.
我是指有色情脑袋
I mean, sex on the brain!
我仍然经常提及她的姓名
Her name still curls across my tongue.
赖丝里·拉皮特思
Leslie Lapidus.
门没有锁 请进
Door is open, come in!
你好
Hello!
你气息很好
Boy, you look excellent.
-谢谢 -嗯
– Thanks. – Yeah.
想喝什么
What would you like to drink?
我要
I’ll have a…
我不知 看看
I don’t know, let’s see.
-我想要 -噢 天啊
– I think I’ll have a… – Oh, my God!
噢 操吧
Oh, fuck!
操得好
Fucking, fantastic fucking!
等等 让它响吧
Wait! Just let it ring!
喂 妈
Hello, Mother.
我没事 对 我说我没事
I’m fine, fine. Yeah, I told you I’d be just fine.
对 很好
Yeah, plenty.
好 我会记得浇花
Yeah, I’ll make sure that the plants are watered
喂狗 好 妈
and the dog is fed. Well, Mother…
爸 你的小公主会乖
Yes, Daddy. Yes, your little princess will be good.
好 再见
Okay. Bye!
他们去度周末 女佣病了
They go away for the weekend and then the maid’s out sick.
他们担心我一个人在家不知道怎样
And they carry on about how will I survive for a weekend in this apartment by myself.
电冰箱堆满食物 每个门都上锁
And that’s with this totally stocked fridge, and a lock on every door,
天晓得还有什么
and God only knows what else.
于是我知道屋里只有我和赖丝里
Thus, I realized that Leslie and I would be left to frolic in this place alone.
我迫切的心如水溢满了杯
My cup ran over.
溢到清洁无污的地毯
Oh, my cup turned into a spillway flooding across the spotless carpet,
溢出门外流到皮雅邦街
out the door down Pierrepont Street,
经过黄昏下的运河流往布鲁克林
across all the twilit carnal reaches of Brooklyn.
赖丝里
Leslie.
跟赖丝里两个人度过周末
A weekend alone with Leslie.
读过劳伦斯写的《查泰莱夫人的情人》吗
Have you ever read D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover?
没有
No. Oh!
他全都写出来了 他对性事知之甚详
He has the answers. He knows so much about fucking.
他说
He says…
上♥床♥时你就是到黑暗之神那里
He says that when you fuck, you go to the Dark Gods.
斯汀戈 我真的认同
Uh-huh. Stingo, I really mean it.
上♥床♥是去黑暗之神那里
To fuck is to go to the Dark Gods.
让我们去黑暗之神那里
Let’s go to the Dark Gods!
我想我有权问发生了什么事
Well, I think I have the right to ask, what is going on?
你不明白
You don’t understand.
我不可以
I can’t go all the way.
我已到达了分♥析♥的顶点
I’ve reached a plateau in my analysis.
到达顶点之前
Before I reach this plateau of vocalization,
我无法说出这些话
I could never have said any of those words.
这些人人都说得出来的粗话
Those Anglo-Saxon four letter words that everybody should be able to say.
现在我完全能够说
Now I’m completely able to vocalize.
赖丝里·拉皮特思可以说个”操”字 却做不来
Leslie Lapidus could say “fuck,” but she could not do it.
内森
Nathan!
真高兴你
I’m so glad you’re…
是小斯汀戈
Yeah, little ol’ Stingo.
-斯汀戈 -是
– Stingo? – Yeah.
想上来跟我喝杯睡前酒吗
You want to come up and have a night hat with me?
好的
Sure.
内森一忙起工作
You know, when Nathan gets involved,
便忘了时间 我不知
he forgets all about the time and I don’t know.
斯汀戈 你好像
Stingo,you look…
你很帅 你穿”绉纹西装”
You look very nice. You’re wearing your”cocksucker”
是绉布西装
It’s my seersucker.
噢 对 绉布西装
Oh, yeah. Right, seersucker.
我喜欢这儿
I love it here.
真高兴你睡不着
I’m glad you couldn’t sleep.
你弄伤口了吗 你说话真奇怪
You hurt your mouth? You talk funny.
我咬了舌头
I bit my tongue.
要点什么吗
You want me to get something for you?
不用了
No, please, no.
不用麻烦
It just needs to be left alone.
唏 你怎么
Hey, what you…
你将家具换了位置吗
You’ve changed all the furniture around?
是 喜欢吗 失眠时我便这样做
Yeah, you like it? I do that when I can’t sleep, you know.
这样做的好处是你不会
It’s a good thing to do because then you don’t…
你什么都不用想
You don’t have to think about anything.
我会试试的
Well, I better try that.
不
Oh, no.
斯汀戈
Stingo.
你不要搬家具
You do not have to move furniture.
你要搬山
You will move mountains.
此刻我连舌头都无法动
Right now, I can’t even move my tongue.
可能你动得太多了
Maybe you moved it too much.
为何全世界的女人不跟你一样
Why aren’t all the women in the world like you?
你要感谢上帝女人不是全都一样 这样看吧
You’d better thank God they’re not. Look at this.
我想你一生会遇上无数女人
I see many, many women in your life.
很多美女仰慕你 跟你共欢
Many beautiful women who adore you and who’ll make all that love with you.
有时候我觉得自己会孤独一生
Sometimes, I can see myself just being alone forever.
噢 斯汀戈 我对你不公平
Oh, Stingo. I’m not fair with you.
我在想
I think, “Oh, Stingo, he’s so young.
“斯汀戈是有才华的年轻美国人”
“He’s a talented American.” You know.
“他没有真正的问题 但”
“He doesn’t have any real, real problems, but…”
你不知我是否真的有才华
You don’t know if I’m really talented.
你从未读过我的文章
You’ve never read anything I’ve written.
我不问你要作品来看是因为
Well, I mean, I don’t ask you about that work because, you know, what it’s about
我认为作家不想谈自己的写作
because I know that a writer, he likes to be quiet about his work.
那小说是关于一个男孩的
It’s about a boy.
一个12岁的男孩
A 12-year-old boy. Hmm.
-还有 -那么这是自传体裁吧
– And… – Yes, so it’s autobiographical?
某种程度上可能算是
Yeah, to a certain extent, maybe it is.
故事是在他母亲去世那年发生的
Uh… it takes place in a year, which is the year his mother dies.
我不知你母亲去世了
I didn’t know your mother died.
她死时我12岁
When I was 12.
你很爱她吗
You loved her very much?
爱得不够
Not enough.
你说”不够”是什么意思
What do you mean “not enough”? What do you mean?
我是指爱得不够
I mean not enough.
最可怕的事是
That is what is so terrible about
所爱的人都比自己先逝 我是指 这是
outliving those people that we love. I mean, that’s…
是罪过
That guilt.
你的父亲吗
Your father?
我爸 妈 丈夫
My father, my mother, my husband.
你结过婚吗
You were married?
对 我结过婚
Yeah, I was married.
我很年轻时嫁给我爸的学生
When I was very young, I was married to a disciple of my father.
他是我爸大学里的助手
Assistant at the university.
你父亲的反纳粹文章
Your father’s anti-Nazi writings,
牵连了他吧
well, that probably got him in trouble.
他的文章
His writings.
有一天我去了望弥撒
Well, one day, I was at the Mass
当时我有