一些怪人（2016）

我想既然这是我们在这儿待的最后一晚
I figured it’s our last night here,
而我们这一周都在外面吃 所以我想…
and we’ve been eating out all week, so…
嗯哼 这里面都放了啥
Uh-huh, and what’s in it?
你知道我一直在…
You know I’ve been…
我用的食材不含麸质和乳制品
Well it’s gluten free and dairy free.
放心 里面都是适合你吃的
It’s all appropriate.
那就好
All right.
那我去倒垃圾
Let me just take out the trash.
我来吧
I got it.
还是我去倒吧
I can get it.
你准备晚餐 所以我应该去收拾垃圾
You made dinner, I’ll take out the trash.
Jill 别见外 我再去倒就好了
Jill, come on, just let me do it.
说真的 我来收拾
Really, let me do it.
这是我的习惯
No, it’s a habit.
别这样好吗
Can you not?
这是我该做的
It’s the least I can do, come on.
你还说食材不含乳制品
Dairy free huh?
让我..
Here, just let me…
“我在节食”这句话你听不懂吗
What part of “I’m on a diet” do you not understand?
大哥 你居然还放了浓奶油
Okay, seriously dude, heavy cream?
你踏马在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?
这些是原料
Those are the ingredients, that’s what
就是它的成分 没什么大不了的
goes into it, it’s not a big deal.
哟 真的吗
Oh really?
没有那么严重啦
It’s no big deal.
不严重吗 哈
No big deal, huh?
好 你知不知道这是
Okay, do you realize this is one
有史以来我做过的最难的事
of the hardest things I’ve ever done?
你知道我有多
Do you even realize how…
我的妈呀 你一天跑一圈
Oh my God, you run around in
那有什么难的嘛
circles once a day, how hard can that be?
什么
What?
等等 就尝一下
Hold on, just, here, just taste it.
试一下 吃一口
Here, just try it, just try it.
只是试一试嘛
Just have a taste.
我的天 我不要
Oh my God, no.
好 等一下我们再讨论
Please, then we’ll talk.
你就试一下 没什么的
Just try it, just taste it!
我♥操♥
Fuck you!
说真的 操
Seriously!
给我踏马吞下去 吃了
Fucking eat it, eat it!
Jill 嘿 Jill
Jill, hey Jill!
Jill
Jill!
Jill
Jill!
Jill Jill 听着
Jill, Jill, listen!
滚出去 给老娘滚
Get out of here, go!
Jill 告诉我你想要的究竟是什么
Please just tell me what you want, Jill!
我想要什么
What I want?
你让我跟你说想要什么是吧
You want me to tell you what I want?
那你就滚几把远点坐飞机
I want you to get your ass on a fucking
回去你的罗德岛然后永远
plane and go back to Rhode Island and never
都别踏马跟我说话 这就是我想要的
fucking talk to me again, that’s what I want!
你知道吗 你永远都不能成为他们任何一个人
You know, you’ll never be one of them.
什么
What?
你知道吗
You know that right?
即使你努力想成为那样
Even if you wanted to be.
就算他们想让你成为 实际上不想
Even if they want you to be, which they don’t.
玻璃假眼的男人
Said the guy with the glass eye!
我的错了 抱歉 是塑料丙烯酸
Oh, my bad, sorry, “plastic acrylic”.
沃日♥你♥妈♥
Hey fuck you!
跟你说 想让我停下来除非你听到这个
You know what, actually, stop me if you’ve heard this one.
有的婊♥子♥在派对上
Some bitch walks up Winston Churchill at a
跟丘吉尔说 你喝醉了
party and says Mr. Churchill, you’re drunk.
他是这么回答的 对 我醉了 但到了早上
To which Churchill replies yes, but in the morning
我会清醒着 而你依旧丑陋
I’ll be sober and you’ll still be ugly.
我继续做我坚持的事 最后我会减肥成功
I keep doing what I’m doing, and eventually I’ll be thin.
最后 你还是一个残废
And at the end of the day, you’ll still be deformed.
真是个好词 是吧
It’s a great word, isn’t it?
残废
Deformed?
这个词真适合你
Such a you word.
听着 你一直都会是一个蠢货
You know, you’ll also still be an idiot
而且啊 我是说现在 好计划 巴顿将军
by the way, I mean wow, great plan, Patton!
一顿丰盛的大餐 50磅
One fatty meal, 50 pounds
又要回到我身上了 哇
is gonna leap back on me, wow!
你骗我
You lied to me.
我没骗你 只是没跟你说过这件事
I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you about it.
我希望它是一个惊喜
I wanted it to be a surprise.
这是谎言 怎么说来着
That’s a lie, that’s, what’s the word,
模棱两可的东西 本来就是同样的性质
equivocating, which is basically exactly the same thing!
不是这样 并不是因为这
Actually no, it’s not because this doesn’t
对你没有任何消极影响 好吗
negatively impact you in any way, okay?
那你告诉我 我错在哪里
Tell me what’s wrong with what I’m doing.
因为你就是一个纯粹的大肥猪
‘Cause you’re a fucking fatass, okay?
而我喜欢你这样子
And I like that about you.
我喜欢那个跟我一起面对挫折的人
I like that the only guys I’m competing
一起面对老年衰退
against are elderly degenerates and
那会让我想起你
guys that sickens me to think of you with,
但是其他人不会用
but the rest of the world wouldn’t
10英尺长的杆子来碰你
touch with a 10 foot pole, and you
你也不应该改变一切
shouldn’t be able to change all
而没有告诉我真♥相♥
that without fucking telling me!
祝你幸福每一天
You have a beautiful day.
操
Fuck!
嘿
Hey.
我在找跳绳
I’m just looking for a jump rope.
在那里
They’re over there.
谢啦
Oh, thanks.
嗨 我是不是认识你
Hey, don’t I know you?
你以前是在本杰明弗兰克高中吗
I mean were you a student at Benjamin Frank High?
转学生还是什么来着
A transfer student or whatever?
对 我是在那里上过学
Yeah, I was.
对
Yeah.
有一次我还捡到了你的书
Yeah, I helped you with your books that one time.
你落下了
You dropped them.
啊哈
Uh-huh.
对
Yeah.
因为是你朋友从我手里打下来
After your friends knocked them out of my hands?
你喜欢在这里跑步吗
So you like working out down here?
一切都很好
It’s all right.
恩
Yeah.
有时候楼上会很忙 你知道吗
I mean it can get pretty busy upstairs sometimes, you know.
有时候还要等上10分钟才能
I’ve had to wait 10 minutes to get on
用跑步机 很神经吧
a treadmill before, it’s crazy right?
如果你要这么说的话
If you say so.
我也不知道今天晚上你打算做什么
Hey, look, I don’t know what your plans are tonight.
我和几个哥们打算
Me and some buddies were thinking of
办个小派对在兄弟会上
throwing a little party over the frat house.
不知道你要干嘛 但我想问下
I don’t know what you got going on, but I
要不要加入我们
was thinking that maybe you’d like to join us.
虽然我们大家都不认识彼此
I mean I know we don’t know each other
特别熟或怎么样 但是这是一次
very well or anything, but it could
很好的机会可以熟悉彼此嘛
be nice to see a familiar face.
哎 等下
Hey, wait up.
就一下 哎
Just, hey.
哎
Hey.
你住在哪间宿舍 奥马利的吗 还是我说的
So which dorm are you in, O’Malley’s, or I mean…
别踏马碰我
Don’t fucking touch me!
好吧 不管你正在做什么
Okay, whatever it is you’re doing
最好停下来
you can just stop right now.
我不要 我不知道你
I’m not, I don’t know what you’re…