一些怪人（2016）

那叫普通吗
That’s normal?
是的
Yes it is.
好吧 也许那些来自威斯康星州的农场女孩们怎么样
Okay, maybe back in Wisconsin with the farm girls…
拜托 我来自罗德岛
Dude, I’m from Rhode Island.
好吧 我不管了
All right, well whatever, man.
你告诉我啊
You tell me then.
我们在找什么样的啊
What are we looking for, huh?
到底是什么
What?
这里太好了 每一天都像这么好吗
It’s so nice, is it like this every day?
是的
Yes.
这就是我喜欢这的原因
That’s why I love it here.
谢谢
Thanks.
我虽没法来证明
Okay, so I have no way to prove it,
但我很确定的是
but I’m pretty sure the mirror in the
在卫生间里面的那种两面镜
bathroom is one of those two-sided
就像是警♥匪♥片里面的那种
mirrors you see in cop shows.
不可能
No way.
怎么不可能 因为我可以看到人
Yes, because I could see a figure.
谢谢
Thank you.
你可以干嘛
You could what?
这是什么
What is this?
你什么时候点的这些
When did you order these?
你在上厕所的时候
While you were in the restroom.
我告诉过你 我不想要点心的
I told you I didn’t want dessert.
是的 我知道 我只是想着
Yeah, I know, I just thought
我好久没有看到你了
I haven’t seen you in a while,
所以我想 我们可以庆祝一下重聚
so I thought we should celebrate.
好吧 但我说过 我不想要了
Right, but I told you I didn’t want any.
拜托 我就点了一些冰淇淋而已
Oh come on, just have some ice cream with me.
我不吃了
I’m good.
我来付啦
I’m paying.
不要
I’m good.
你知道我在飞来这儿的路上时
You know that’s all I could
脑子里想着什么吗
think about on the plane down here?
啥 用棒球棒来摧毁
What, taking a baseball bat to the
我那可怜的意志力吗
tiny shred of willpower I’ve developed?
不 我想着请你吃饭和给你买♥♥东西
No, just buying you meals and stuff.
因为之前总是你付钱买♥♥东西
‘Cause you always did the buying before.
是我父母的钱 我刷的是他们的信♥用♥卡♥
My parents did the buying, it was their credit card.
我也总算是有了点存款
Well I finally saved up some money
你不敢相信我工作有多卖♥♥力
and I’ve been working like you wouldn’t believe.
我觉得能请你出来吃顿饭
I just thought it would be nice
是件不错的事情
to take you out for a meal and…
那你为晚饭买♥♥单
Hey, you can pay for the dinner.
就沙拉吗
A salad?
算什么 这都不算一顿饭
What is that, come on, that’s not a meal.
里面含有鸡肉 可以补充蛋白质
It had chicken on it, that’s protein.
所以这算是正餐了
That makes it a meal.
老天 你居然会这么认为
Wow, you actually just said that.
吃沙拉有什么不对吗
What is so horrible about having a salad?
没 挺好的
Nothing, it’s fine.
要不就别吃了 我无所谓
You know what, don’t eat it, I don’t care.
就看着它融化吧
Watch it melt.
Jill
Jill.
嗨
Hi.
最近好吗
How are you?
挺好的
Pretty good.
是啊 我觉得你看上去不错
Yeah, I’d say pretty good.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thanks.
你看起来很棒
You look great.
谢谢
Thank you.
你看起来真美
You look really good.
Carl 这是我男友Matt
Carl, this is my boyfriend Matt.
你好
Hi.
你好啊
How you doing?
见到你很高兴
Nice to meet you.
哇 没想到啊
So wow, wow.
是吧
Yeah.
我们有空该聚聚
We should get together.
一起喝咖啡
Get some coffee or…
之类的
Something.
或许吧
Possibly, yeah.
你有我电♥话♥吗
You got my number?
当然
I must.
你有空要打给我哦
I want you to call me.
好的
Okay.
真的吗
Okay?
真的
Okay.
哇 你的气色真好
Wow, you look great.
谢谢 十分感谢你这么说
Thank you, thanks, I appreciate that.
好嘞 我走了
Yeah, okay.
我也很高兴认识你 Matt
Nice to meet you, Mark.
味道不错
It’s good.
这冰淇淋确实好吃
Good ice cream.
你满意了吗
Happy?
我的天啊 我简直不敢
Oh my God, I cannot
相信她胖成那样
believe that she looks like that.
是啊 我真的…
I know, I really…
各位 我是说
Guys, I’m just
她的臀部大的就像德州的面♥积♥一样
saying her ass is the size of Texas.
是啊 就是那么大
Well it’s the size.
我在我吃起司和沙拉的餐厅里
I’m doing this thing where I eat
这么做的
cheese and have a piece of salad.
然后我就跑路了
Then I run…
我只想燃烧身上的卡路里
I just wanna burn the calories,
我可不想这么做 一点都不
I don’t wanna do it, I don’t wanna do it.
好吧 那么
Okay, okay, hold on.
他在你发现那避孕套的事后怎么解释呢
So what did he say when you found the condoms,
应该说是避孕套的减少
or I should say the dearth of condoms?
他们分手后才过了三天就和好了
They broke up for three days and when they got
可是有四个套套就没了
back together, four of them were missing.
哇
Woof.
他说那是因为他喜欢
He said he likes
带着套套撸管
to jerk off into them.
你两和好后你和他
Please tell me you did
没上♥床♥吧
not fuck him after you got back together.
我是说我看见他还有一些事
I mean I saw him and things…
听着 今晚我们要去夜店里
All right, look, we’re going
参加一个派对
to a party ad Bel Air’s tonight.
你也一起来 我们给你找男伴
Join us, we’ll find you a guy.
可是Ben说他觉得
Ben says he
我们这次可以走下去
thinks we can make this work.
去他的 那臭小子
Fuck that Psion-driving douche.
你年轻貌美 这样搞毛啊
You’re young and hot, what the fuck
你想吊死在他这一棵树上吗
do you wanna be tied down to a guy for?
现在可是大学期间
This is college.
我知道 只是…
I know, I just…
好吧 你爱他吗
All right, you think you love this guy?
好吧 就算他对你说了实话
Okay, let’s say he’s being honest,
就算他洗心革面且你们
let’s say he’s turned over a new leaf and
也找到了走下去的方法
you guys find a way to make it work or whatever.
你扪心自问
Ask yourself this one question.
你真的愿意用下半辈子来好奇
Do you really wanna go the rest of your
如果你当初找到更好的人会是什么样的吗
life wondering if you could’ve done better?
嘿
Hey.
这是啥
What’s this?
你做了晚饭吗
You made dinner?
是的
Yeah.
我在一家餐馆里买♥♥了本特别的菜谱
It’s a special recipe I picked up at the restaurant.