一些怪人（2016）

真的 不骗你 该死
Hey, hey, I’m really, goddammit.
你先走开远一点 行么
Why don’t you go for a walk, okay?
冷静一下
Take a minute.
我 我不是那个意思
I, I wasn’t trying…
你怎么不直接说
Why don’t you just tell her
她应该节食呢
to go on a diet or something, huh?
可我不是 那不是我想说的
I didn’t mean, that’s not what
完全不是 该死
I meant at all, goddammit.
如果她说些关于你眼睛的话呢
What if she said something about your eye, huh?
如果她评论你的眼睛
What if she said something about your eye?
你会好受么 -我不在乎 哦 该死
Would you be okay with that? – I don’t care, ooooh shit.
我们骗到你了
We got you!
漂亮
Nice!
刚才实在太精彩了
That was so good!
你真该看看你自己的表情
I wish you’ve could’ve seen your face.
哦 老天 太好玩了
Oh yeah, that was good.
你看到他的表情没有
Did you see his face?
你看起来就像我要把你的狗
You literally looked like I was about to shoot
杀了一样 -这样一点都不好玩
your fucking puppy, man. – That’s not fucking funny.
拜托 我就是在逗你玩
Come on, I was just fucking with you, dude!
你觉得我像是吃沙拉的那种女孩么
Do I look like a salad type of girl to you?
我才没那么无趣呢
I have my own fucking zip code, man.
我怎么知道
I don’t know.
哦 这让我想起来一个笑话
Oh, that reminds me of a joke.
胖女人和电动车有什么共同点
What do fat women and mopeds have in common?
Elmo已经跟我讲过那个笑话了
Elmo already told me that joke.
哦 去死 你个小偷
Oh fuck you, you fucking thief.
什么小偷 那不过是个好笑话
What do you mean fucking thief, it’s a good joke.
不 它是个烂透了的笑话 但它是我的笑话
No, it’s a shitty goddamn joke, but it’s my joke.
你不能霸占一个笑话 笑话谁都能讲
You can’t take ownership of a joke, it’s everyone’s joke.
随你怎么说
Whatever.
笑话本来就是这样
That’s how jokes work.
来说说你吧
So what about you then?
我觉得那会很棒
I think it’s gonna be great.
你们能明白么
Can you get behind that?
只是 我很少在开车时和别人起冲突 好么
Just, I don’t have road rage, okay?
但有些人就是控制不住自己非要干些
People that have road rage do things that
蠢事 我只在必要时才大喊大叫
are unnecessary, I yell when it’s necessary.
我是说在任何情况下
Yeah, I’m telling you you still have to
你都该宽容大度
be the bigger person in that situation.
宽容大度 你让我宽容大度
Be the bigger, have you looked at me?
我从来不宽容大度
I’m never the bigger person.
从不 我认识他挺久了
Never, I’ve known him for a very long time.
好吧 当我没说
Okay, all right, all right.
糟糕 我得走了
Oh shit, I gotta go.
让一下 让一下
Look out, look out.
你要干嘛
What are you doing?
我妈刚刚给我发短♥信♥ 我得走了
My mother just texted me, I gotta go.
我忘了我之前答应她了的 -你要去哪里
I forgot, I promised her. – Where are you going?
我得去做龙虾三角饼
I gotta go make lobster triangles
给什么慈善活动做的
with her for some benefit.
龙虾三角饼是什么鬼
Lobster triangles?
患了艾滋病的小孩 之类的
Kids with AIDS thing, whatever.
嗨 你能开车把他送回家么
Hey, can you drive him home?
当然可以
Yeah, I can.
棒极了 酷 明天见 拜
Great, okay cool, I’ll see you guys later, bye.
再见
See ya.
我要走了
I’m about, oh.
他很搞笑
He’s funny.
是的
Yeah.
能给我一口么
Can I have a drag?
当然可以
Sure.
地方不错
Nice place.
还行吧
Yeah, it’s okay.
就那么一说
Just saying.
所以
So…
怎么
What?
我还有好多作业要做
I got so much homework to do.
什么
Huh?
明天还有微积分考试
Got that calc test tomorrow.
对 微积分考试
Right, calc test.
谢谢你送我
But thanks for the ride.
没事的
Yeah, sure.
再见
Goodbye.
拜拜
Bye.
嗨
Hey.
嘘 嘘
Shh shh.
你个狡猾的混♥蛋♥
You weaselly motherfucker.
你今天晚上参加那个读书俱乐部了么
Did you have your book club tonight?
对啊 你去哪儿了
Yeah, where were you?
本来该你照看他的 我回家
You were supposed to watch him, I got home at
值完双份班 本来以为能不用管他的
the end of a double expecting to drop him off.
是的 我知道 对不起
Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.
天哪 今天就在我要值完班的时候
God, this kid came in right at the end of my shift.
一个试图用他爹的枪爆自己头的小屁孩被送进来了
Decided to blow his head off with his father’s shotgun.
他最后一刻反悔了
Chickened out at the last minute trying
结果没来得及避开
to split the difference and instead
射中了下巴 真是一团糟
lost his jaw, it’s a fucking mess.
真是对不起 我突然有点事
I know, I’m so sorry, just some stuff came up.
你最后没有翘掉那个读书俱乐部么
Did you end up skipping the meeting?
不 我带着他去的
Nah, I took him.
一半的时间都在拼命尖叫
Screamed his head off half the night,
不过反正是部恐怖小说 无所谓啦
but it was a horror novel, so whatever.
嗯 那你们聊得怎么样
Yeah, how was it?
哦 你还用问吗
Oh are you kidding me?
一团糟 他们都是一团糟 但是无所谓啦 他们挺逗的
It was shit, they’re all shit, but whatever, they’re fun.
那挺好的
Good.
嘿 我能问你点东西吗 而且
Hey, can I ask you something, and just
保证不 -你安静点
promise not to… – You shut up.
什么
What?
安静点 你说什么
Shut up, what?
取笑我还是别的什么
Make fun of me or whatever?
得了吧 我什么时候取笑过你
Come on, when I have I ever made fun of you?
一直都有
Like all the time?
那是爱的嘲笑
Right, but lovingly.
所以是什么
So what is it?
你要问什么问题来着
What’s the question?
听得到吗
Hello!
这很蠢 打扰到你了 当我没说过 别放在心上
Okay, it’s stupid, no, just, sorry, forget it, never mind.
好了 怎样
All right, how…
你怎么知道一个女孩子喜不喜欢你
How do you tell if a girl likes you?
他们在湖边走的时候
So basically they just go over the lake
我就用我的计量器击中他们
and then I just shoot them with my twin gauge.
我有点怕现在的你了
I’m kinda scared of you right now.
我的老天
Oh my gosh!
我的意思是 我是说 这就像
I’m just saying, I’m just saying, it’s like…
基本上只是
It’s like basically just…
我有点想 噢
I kinda wanna, oh!
哇哦 什么鬼
Whoa, what the fuck?
看看你在干嘛 你个肥…
Watch where you’re going, you fat…
我很抱歉 你有什么想对我说的吗
I’m sorry, do you have something you wanna say to me?
不 就一句
No, it’s too easy.
祝你幸福每一天
You have a beautiful day.
我为刚刚的事道歉 我不知道发生了什么
Sorry about that, I don’t know what’s
他们平常很和善的
going on, they’re not normally like that.
是啊 我也相信他们
Yeah, I’m pretty sure they are.
你也在沉迷学习大学英语
Oh hey, I see someone’s in AP English.
我爱这本书 你看到
I love this book, have you actually got
Sally告诉Phillip她怀孕
to the part where Sally tells Phillip that
的那一部分吗…
she’s pregnant right before he’s about to…