烟（1995）

等等 我来告诉你们为什么他们走不远
Wait a minute. I’m gonna tell you why they’re not going anywhere.
为什么呢 汤米？
Why are they not going anywhere, Tommy?
管理层啊 他们都是些脑满肠肥的家伙
Management. Those guys are walking around with their heads up their asses.
他们也曾重金买♥♥入呢 卡特 埃尔南德斯 可是世界职棒赛**的功臣
Well you know, they made some good trades too you know. Carter. Hernandez. Without them two there never woulda been a World Series.
（卡特 和 埃尔南德斯 都是纽约大都会队1986年**美国职棒大联盟年度总决赛夺冠功勋选手）
那是4年前 我在说现在
That was four years ago. I’m talking about now.
看看他们卖♥♥掉了哪些人
Look who they got rid of.
（所述均为 大都会队功勋球员）
McDowell. Mitchell. Backman. Aguillera. Dykstra. Mookie. Mookie
连 莫基·威尔逊 都卖♥♥掉了
Mokkie Wilson, for Chrissakes.
还有 诺兰·莱恩
Don’t forget Nolan Ryan.
还有 阿莫斯·奥蒂斯
Yeah, don’t forget Amos Otis.
我们曾经有支世界冠军 但还硬是被他们搞砸了
The team was good, the best fucking team in baseball. But then they had to screw it up.
（1990年 夏）
嘿 奥吉 还好么？
Hey, Auggie. How’s it going?
嘿 老兄 你来啦 今天要点啥？
Hey, man. Good to see you. What can I do for you today?
两盒顺百利雪茄
Two tins of Schimmelpennincks.
顺便再来个打火机
And throw in a lighter while you’re at it.
我们刚在聊一个哲学话题：女人和雪茄
The boys and I were just having a philosophical discussion about women and cigars
这得从伊丽莎白女王说起
I suppose it all goes back to Queen Elizabeth.
你说英格兰女王？
The Queen of England?
不是现在的二世 是一世
Not Elizabeth the Second, Elizabeth the First.
你们听说过 沃尔特·雷利爵士？
Did you ever hear of Sir Walter Raleigh?
（PS：他为了避免让同行的女王弄脏脚）
当然 就是那个把斗篷铺到泥地上的人呗
Sure. He’s the guy who threw his cloak down over the puddle.
我抽过雷利牌香烟
I used to smoke Raleigh cigarettes.
每包都有免费赠券
They came with a free gift coupon in every pack.
雷利是把烟草带入英国的人
Well, Raleigh was the person who introduced tobacco in England,
由于他是女王 ——他所称的白莎女王 的宠臣
and since he was a favorite of the Queen’s – Queen Bess, he used to call her
抽烟成为了宫廷的时尚
smoking caught on as a fashion at court.
我相信老白莎一定跟雷利爵士一起甜蜜地共享过同一根雪茄
I’m sure Old Bess must have shared a stogie or two with Sir Walter.
有次他跟女王打赌
Once, he made a bet with her
说他可以称出烟的重量
that he could measure the weight of smoke.
你是说烟雾？
You mean, weigh smoke?
对 烟雾的重量
Exactly. Weigh smoke.
怎么可能 那不是称空气么
You can’t do that. It’s like weighing air.
确实很诡异 就好比说要称灵魂
I admit it’s strange. Almost like weighing someone’s soul.
但雷利爵士很聪明
But Sir Walter was a clever guy.
首先他拿了支雪茄
First, he took an unsmoked cigar
把它放到秤盘上称重
and he put it on a balance and weighed it.
然后他点燃雪茄 小心地把烟灰弹在秤盘里
Then he lit up and smoked the cigar, carefully tapping the ashes into the balance pan.
等他抽完后 他把烟头放回秤盘里 和烟灰一起
When he was finished, he put the butt into the pan along with the ashes
称出余烬重量
and weighed what was there.
然后从初始重量中减去余烬重量
Then he subtracted that number from the original weight of the unsmoked cigar.
差额便是烟的重量
The difference was the weight of the smoke.
《烟》
他是个作家
He’s a writer.
就住附近
Lives in the neighborhood.
他写什么的？写保单？
And what kind of writer is he? An underwriter?
很好笑 汤米 有时候你的冷笑话让我觉得你该去看医生
Very funny. The cracks you make, Tommy, sometimes I think you should see a doctor.
去脑科查查看
You know, go in for some wit therapy or something.
把脑子洗一洗
To clean out the valves in your brain.
我只是开个玩笑 奥吉
It was just a joke, Auggie.
他是小说家
The guy’s a novelist.
保罗·本杰明 听到过么？
Paul Benjamin. You ever hear of him?
问了白问
That’s a stupid question.
你们只看《赛马消息报》
The only things you guys read is the Racing Form
和《纽约邮报》体育版
and sports pages of the Post.
他出版过3、4本书
He’s published three or four books.
但已经好几年没有新作了
But nothing now for the past few years.
怎么了？江郎才尽？
What’s the matter? He run out of ideas?
他遭遇了不幸
He ran out of luck.
记得几年前第七大道这里的那起持枪抢劫案？
Remember that holdup out here on Seventh Avenue few years back?
—嗯嗯 —你指银行那起？当街扫射的那起？
-Yeah yeah. -You mean the bank, right? They sprayed bullets all over the street?
没错 4人遇害 其中包括保罗的妻子
That’s it. Four people got killed. One of them was Paul’s wife.
可怜的家伙 他再也没走出来
The poor lug, he’s never been the same since.
巧的是 她在遇害前来过店里
The funny thing was, she stopped in here just before it happened.
帮她丈夫买♥♥烟
To stock up on cigars for him.
艾伦女士是个好人
She was a nice lady, Ellen.
当时怀有4、5个月身孕
Four or five months pregnant at the time
也就是说孩子和她一起遇害了
which means that when she was killed, the baby was killed, too.
悲惨世界 对吧 奥吉？
Bad day at Black Rock, eh, Auggie?
是很悲惨 没错
It was bad, all right.
有时我想 如果她那天没有直接给我零钱
Sometimes I think that if she hadn’t given me exact change that day,
或者店里客人再多点
or if the store had been a little more crowded,
也许她就会在这里多耽误几秒钟 就不会踏入枪林弹雨
maybe it would have taken her a few more seconds to get out of here, she wouldn’t have stepped in front of that bullet.
她就能活下来…
She’d still be alive …
你在干嘛 小子？
What are you doing there, kid?
住手！
Cut that out!
小心点啊 伙计 你那样会丧命的
You’ve gotta watch out, man. You can get yourself killed like that.
这是做人的基准啊
It’s a law of the universe.
你一定得让我为你做点什么以示感谢
You have to let me do something for you to put the scales in balance.
不用谢
It’s ok.
哪天我需要你 我会派管家来找你
If I think of something, I’ll send my butler over to tell you.
恳请你 至少让我请你喝杯咖啡
Please. At least let me buy you a cup of coffee.
我不喝咖啡
I don’t drink coffee.
算了 既然你坚持
On the other hand, since you insist,
如果请我喝冰柠檬汁 我不会拒绝
if you offered me a cold lemonade. I wouldn’t say no.
太好了
Good.
我叫保罗
My name is Paul.
拉希德 你浪迹天涯是么？
Rashid, your body is the world, isn’t it?
那么 如果有人愿意提供给你住所 你不会拒绝吧？
Listen, if someone offered you a place to stay, you wouldn’t necessarily refuse, would you?
才没有人会呢 起码在纽约没有
People don’t do that kind of thing. Not in New York.
我不是那种人 我是我 我想怎么做就怎么做 明白吗？
I’m not “people.” I’m just me. And I do whatever I goddamn want to do. Got it?
谢谢 好意我心领了
Thanks, but I’ll manage.
万一你是在怀疑 先声明 我喜欢女人 不喜欢男孩
In case you’re wondering, I like women, not little boys.
我也不是想借你长租 只是
And I’m not offering you a long-term lease, I’m just
愿意提供给你留宿几晚的地方
offering you a place to crash for a couple of nights.
谢谢 我有办法 不用您操心
Thanks. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry.
随你便吧
Suit yourself.
万一你改变主意了
In case you change your mind,
小姐
Miss
苏小姐 能借我支笔么？
Sue, do you happen to have a pen I can borrow?
万一你改变主意了
In case you change your mind,
这是我的地址
here’s my address.
你不是认真的吧？
You don’t take anything seriously, do you?
不是吓你 为了你的健康
I try not to, anyway. It’s better for your health.
你看 文森特 你有老婆孩子 还有长岛的大牧场
I mean, look at you, Vincent. You’re the guy with the wife and three kids and the ranch house on Long Island.
你穿着白皮鞋 开白凯迪拉克 踩白地毯
You’re the guy with the white shoes and the white Caddy and the white shag carpet.
但你已经心脏病发作2次 我还没过
But you’ve had two heart attacks, and I’m still waiting for my first.
我真的该戒烟了
I should stop smoking these is what I should do.
—它们有天会要了我的命 —及时行乐吧
-The fuckers are going to kill me one day. -Enjoy it while you can, Vin.
—嗯 —反正就快有法律禁止我们了
-Yeah. -They’re gonna legislate us out of business pretty soon anyway.
没错
Yeah.
不久后 他们抓到你抽烟 就要把你抵住墙枪毙了
Pretty soon, they catch you smoking tobacco, they’ll stand you up against a wall and shoot you.
今天禁烟 明天禁性
Tobacco today, sex tomorrow.
再过几年 朝陌生人微笑也违法了
In three or four years, it’ll probably be against the law to smile at strangers.
话说 你还在干基♥督♥山的那票生意么？
Speaking of which, are you still going ahead with that deal on the Monte Cristos?
都谈好了 我的人说他们几周内就会下单
It’s all set. My guy in Miami said he’d have them within the next few weeks.
你真的不跟我♥干♥？
Are you sure you don’t go in with me?
本金五千 保证一万的收益
Five thousand dollars outlay, a guaranteed ten-thousand-dollar return.
法♥院♥街的律师和法官们正垂涎三尺地盼着我的古巴雪茄呢
A consortium of Court Street lawyers and judges.They’re just drooling to get their lips around some Cuban cigars.
好吧 我不管你干嘛 但别被抓
Ok, I don’t care what you do, but just make sure you don’t get caught, heh?
至少目前 贩卖♥♥古巴雪茄还是违法的
The last I heard, it was still illegal to sell Cuban cigars in this country.
买♥♥家就是立法者
It’s the law that’s buying.
天大的讽刺
That’s what’s so beautiful about it.
你听说过法官判自己入狱么？
I mean, when was the last time you heard of a judge sending himself to jail?
随便你 只是快把雪茄盒收起来吧
Suit yourself. Just don’t keep the boxes around here too long.
都是常客 我心里有数
They come in, they go out. I’ve got it planned to the last detail.
我得走了 要是迟到 特里 会劈死我
I’ve got to get goin’ on. Terry will bust my chops if I’m late.
九月再见 奥吉
See you in September, Auggie.
好的 回见
Okay, my man.
关门了？
Are you closed?