雪怪大冒险

Uh, it’s the Wind!
-什么 -风在这里发出奇怪的声音
– Huh? – Yeah, it makes strange noises out here.
神秘生物
Mystical creature!
别闹了 你们举止很奇怪
Stop it. You’re all acting weird.
我不喜欢奇怪 让人感觉很奇怪
I don’t like weird. Weird is weird, okay?
我好像听到了米果高亢的
I thought I heard Migo’s high-pitched,
烦人的声音 他在哪里
kind of annoying voice. Where is he?
-挂在… -说实话
– Hanging over the– – Honestly,
我们不知道他在哪里
we have no idea of the status of his whereabouts.
拉几下表示上去
How many times was up?
拉几下
How many times?
有什么事不太对 我想想
Something’s not right here. Let me think about this.
有什么事对不上
Ugh, something’s not adding up.
我算不太清
Yeah, I can’t do math.
你们跟我来
You’re coming with me.
不
Oh, no!
绳子显然不够长
Definitely not enough rope!
各位
Guys?
各位
Guys?
天哪
Oh, boy.
这里根本不是虚无
This is so not nothingness!
这里有好多好多东西
This is definitely something-ness.
天哪 瞧瞧你
Oh, my gosh! Look at you!
小家伙
Hi, little guy!
不
Oh! No!
这太残酷了
That is just harsh!
我来给你个教训 接招
I’ll teach you a little lesson. Take that!
好耶
Yes!
快跑 小家伙 跑 去吧
Run, little one! Run! Run! Be free!
那个闪闪发光的会飞的东西
Ooh! The shiny flying thing!
小脚怪
A smallfoot.
不不不
No. No, no, no!
不 石头 石头
No! Rock! Rock!
不 不不不
No. No, no, no.
好了 等等 等等
Okay, okay, back up, back up.
你想采访一个声称看到雪怪的人
You wanna interview a man who says he saw a yeti?
你还真信他的话
And you actually believe him?
当然不信了 但是这能做一♥期♥好节目
Of course not. But it makes for good TV.
那个人起了高原反应
That man has altitude sickness.
他需要救助
He needs help!
-等他帮完我们再说 -什么
– After he helps us. – What?
布兰达 你知道这个村庄是为什么而闻名吗
Brenda, do you know what this village is famous for?
雪怪
Yetis.
这个星球上没有哪里
More reported yeti sightings
比这里出过更多的雪怪目击事件
here than anywhere else on the planet.
所以呢
So?
试想看
Picture this.
我们来这里寻找喜马拉雅跳蛛
We’re here looking for the Himalayan jumping spider,
结果拍到了雪怪
but we capture on film a yeti.
我们发布视频 肯定会被大量转发 爆♥炸♥新闻
We post the video. It goes viral. Then boom!
我的收视率一路飙升
My ratings skyrocket!
雪怪根本不存在
Yetis don’t exist.
是吗
Or do they?
我今天到镇上搞了套变装 很像
Picked up a suit in town this afternoon, and it’s a cracker.
里面还带高跷
Has stilts and everything.
你要穿上这个欺骗你的粉丝
You’re gonna put that thing on and deceive your fans?
当然不是 我会出镜采访
Of course not! I’ll be on camera.
变装的是你
You’ll be in the suit.
你怎么了
What has happened to you?
那个热爱动物 激励我去热爱动物的
Where is the Percy Patterson who loved animals,
正直的珀西·帕特森去哪里了
who inspired me to love them, who had integrity?
我很正直啊
I have integrity.
好吧 对 我要做一件不正直的事
Okay, yes, I’ve gotta do one thing without integrity,
然后我就一直保持正直了
and then I’ll just be all integrity all the time.
我满心都是正直
I will ooze integrity.
全身浸泡在正直里
I shall bathe in it.
我会有一款叫”正直”的运动饮料
I will have a sports drink called “Integrity”
我会授权 不是免费的
that I will endorse, not for free,
但是我会把钱拿去做慈善
but I will take that money and give it to charity.
我就是有这么正直
That’s how much integrity I will have!
布兰达 拜托
Brenda… Please.
没人看我的节目
Nobody’s watching my show.
你想拯救一个濒临灭绝的物种吗
You wanna save a species on the verge of extinction?
拯救我吧
Save me.
布兰达
Brenda!
我很紧张 这首歌♥献给我女朋友
Yo, I’m really nervous. This one goes out to my girlfriend.
布兰达 等等
Brenda, wait.
听我解释
Let me explain.
丽莎 你愿意嫁给…
Lisa, will you marry…
*节目刚开始我以为能名声大噪*
*I thought I’d made it Celebrated when I got my TV show*
*但黑子一直黑 我的收视低低低*
*But the haters out there hating Got my ratings low, low, low*
*很难跟那些电臀小狗*
*It’s hard to compete with videos of twerking hogs*
*冲浪松鼠和骑狗猴子竞争*
*And waterskiing squirrels and monkeys riding on the backs of dogs*
*好多压力*
*So much pressure*
*行行好 我不是你一直听闻的珀西*
*Have mercy, I’m not the Percy That you’ve always heard about*
珀西·帕特森
*那个珀西很成功 那个珀西非常红*
*That Percy, he was successful, that Percy had a lot of clout*
*当初我站在巅峰*
*Back then, back when I was high on that hill*
*现在我跌落谷底 交不起账单*
*But now I’m broke here on the bottom with no way to pay my bills*
*每天想喘口气都越来越难*
*It’s getting harder every day to catch a break*
*所以当我看到机会 我必须要抓紧*
*So when I see a chance then it’s a chance I really need to take*
*我只是在想办法东山再起*
*I’m just looking for a way of bouncing back*
*房♥租到期 我陷入困境将要崩溃
*The rent is due, I’m in a fix and I’m about to crack*
*压力之下*
*Under pressure*
布兰达 我会弥补的
Brenda? I’m making this up on the spot.
*他处于压力之下*
*He’s under pressure*
说实话 那真的很棒
Which is impressive, let’s be honest.
拜托
Come on!
*布兰达 布兰达 我是个绝望的人*
*Brenda, Brenda I’m a desperate man*
*帮我回到顶峰吧*
*So help me get back on the top rockin’ again*
*没有压力*
*No pressure*
*布兰达 布兰达 能否听听我的辩护*
*Brenda, Brenda Won’t you hear my plea?*
*全世界都压在我的肩膀上*
*The weight of all the world ls really weighing on me*
*好多压力*
*So much pressure*
*现在不该放弃 我处于生死边缘*
*This is no time to quit I’m on the verge of a hit*
*我决定一定要取得成功*
*And I’m determined To make this a success, yeah*
*布兰达 告诉我你能看到我的全部潜力*
*Brenda, tell me you see all the potential in me*
*我愿意付出一切换取你的答应*
*I’ll do whatever it takes to make you say yes*
*跪在你面前恳求你*
*Down on my knees Begging you please*
*你能告诉我你理解吗 帮我一把*
*Won’t you tell me you understand? Lend me a hand*
*你要拯救我 拯救我 拯救我*
*Oh, you gotta save me, save me, save me, save me*
歌♥词完全不对
Those aren’t even the words.
你以为我不知道吗 布兰达
You think I don’t know that? Brenda?
布兰达
Brenda?
不不不 那个包 那套衣服
Oh, no, no, no. The bag! The suit!
不
No!
你发现了什么
Hey, what you got there?
没事的
Shh, it’s okay.
我肯定离得很近了
I must be close!
在这里
There it is!
我应该自我介绍一下 但我为什么这么害怕
I should introduce myself. Oh, but why am I so scared?
无法沟通
Hmm. No language skills.
这我倒是没预料到
Didn’t see that one coming.
不好意思
Excuse me. Um…
布兰达 求你回来
Brenda, please come back.
就这一次 然后我们就正直
It’s just this one time. Then we’ll do the whole integrity thing.
我保证 收到留言后请给我回电
I promise. Please call me when you get this!
谢谢你 布兰达
Thank you, Brenda! Oh!
你甚至穿上了高跷 我很喜欢
You’ve even put on the stilts. Oh, I love it.
这套看上去一点都不假 看上去非常真实
And the suit does not look fake. It’s actually quite convincing.
拍摄计划是这样的 我从那边…
Okay, here’s the shot. I’ll film over…