我爸爸 他一听说我今天要来见你
My dad, he heard I was gonna see you today,
就跟我说 “艾迪 你告诉那考拉
and he was all like, “Eddie, you tell that koala
我不会再赞助他那些演出了
I’m not funding any more of those shows,
不变了” 这是他的原话
and that’s final.” Those were his words.
好吧 你♥爸♥爸是对的
Well, your dad’s right.
问题就出在这些演出上面
Those shows were the problem.
《消耗战》 《萝丝谢幕》
War of attrition. Rosie takes a bow.
如今没人愿意看这种东西了
I mean, nobody wants to see that stuff anymore.
那我该怎么办呢
So, what do I do?
-关门吗 -不
– Quit? – No.
我要办一场人们无法拒绝的演出 那就是
I give ’em a show they cannot resist, which is gonna be…
我们一会儿再点餐
J-just one more minute, s’il vous plait.
谢谢
Merci.
别说法语 这儿的人都讲英语
Don’t speak French. They speak English here.
我的下一场演出将会是 鼓点敲起来
Now, my next show is gonna be– drumroll, please…
歌♥唱比赛
…a singing competition.
歌♥唱比赛
A singing competition?
这年头谁还会来看歌♥唱比赛
Who wants to see another one of those?
人人都想看 想一想
Everyone! J-j-just think.
你的邻居 那个百货商店的经理
Your neighbor, the-the-the grocery store manager,
还有那边那只鸡
that-that-that chicken– right there!
这座城市里的每个人都有机会上镜
Everyone in this city gets a shot
成为我的舞台上的主角
at being a star live on my stage.
巴斯特 这主意太糟糕了
Buster, this is a terrible idea.
不 一点儿都不糟
Oh, no, it’s not.
高雅艺术来源于真实生活
Real talent from real life.
这才是观众想看的 我就给他们这个机会
That’s what audiences want, and I’m gonna give it to ’em!
我们能先离开这儿吗
C-can we please just get out of here?
你不想吃点东西吗
Don’t you want to eat?
想是想 可是我们吃不起
Yeah, but we can’t afford any of this.
我知道 所以…
Yes, I know, and that’s why…
我带了三明治
I brought sandwiches.
这里不许吃外带食品
That’s not allowed.
怎么 你不喜欢夹花生酱果冻吗
What, you don’t like peanut butter and jelly?
很抱歉 先生
Excuse me, sir.
好吧 我还有奶油芝士和香蕉
Okay, look. I got cream cheese, I got banana…
-你还好吧 -我很好 不能再好了
– You okay? – Yep. Never better.
克劳利夫人
Miss crawly?
你好
Hello?
哪位
who is it?
是我
It’s me.
你的老板 穆恩先生
Your boss, Mr. Moon.
-您好 穆恩先生 -听我说
– Oh, hello, Mr. Moon. – There we go.
我需要你在我们的宣传♥单♥上
Now, I need you to add the following information
-添加一些信息 -好的 先生
– to our publicity flyers. – Yes, sir.
歌♥唱比赛的冠军
The winner of the singing contest
将会赢得高达…
will receive a grand prize of…
935块
$935.
有点儿少
Gonna need more than that.
等一下
Just a second.
好了
There.
1000元巨奖
$1,000.
-你记下了吗 -1000块
– You got that? – – Uh, $1,000…
把剩下的纸全都给我印了
Print ’em up on every single sheet of paper we have left
然后立刻把这些传♥单♥发出去 好吗
and let’s spread the word right away, okay?
好的 先生
Yes, uh, yes, sir.
好了 出来吧
Okay. Come on out of there.
十万大奖
转运的清风
The winds of change.
没错 只要这次演出成功
Yep, when this show’s a hit,
我就能把你好好粉刷一遍了
I’m gonna get you a fresh coat of paint.
传♥单♥印得怎么样了 克劳利夫人
How are we doing with those flyers, miss crawly?
好的 先生 一切就绪
Oh, yes, sir. We’re all good to go here.
克劳利夫人 不要 不要 不要
Miss Crawly, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
哎呀
Oopsie-Daisy.
这样倒也能把消息传出去
Oh, well, I guess that’s one way to spread the word.
兰斯 快看
Hey, Lance, look at this.
艾什 宝贝
Ash, babe, hey!
-你把钱取了 -是的
– You make a withdrawal! – Yeah.
米娜
Meena!
歌♥唱大赛海选
十万大奖等你拿
你没长眼…
What do you think you…?
是的
Yeah.
歌♥唱大赛海选
十万大奖等你拿
开始工作吧
Let’s go to work.
蜥蜴疯老太登场
And cue the crazy old lizard.
早上好 穆恩先生
Good morning, Mr. Moon.
当然好了 克劳利夫人
Indeed it is, Miss Crawly.
你也早上好
Top of the morning to you.
我给您冲了咖啡
I made you some coffee.
是吗 咖啡在哪儿呢
You did? Where is it?
我爬楼梯的时候有一点口渴
Oh, I got a little thirsty on the way up those stairs.
-我现在可以开门了吗 -开门
– Shall I go open the doors now? – The doors?
有很多动物在门外排着长队
Well, you’ve got a lot of animals waiting in line
等着海选呢 穆恩先生
to audition, Mr. Moon.
是吗
I do?
天啊 还真是
Holy moly, I really do.
我向你保证 艾迪 我没开玩笑
I swear to you, Eddie, this is no joke.
不信你自己过来看
Look, just get down here and see for yourself.
我要走了
I gotta go.
就是这样 克劳利夫人
This is it, Miss Crawly.
快给我到楼下去 打开大门
Get your scaly tail downstairs and throw those doors open wide.
每次一位 谢谢配合
Okay, uh, one at a time, please.
安静点儿
Calm down.
Beyoncé – “Crazy in Love”
♪Got me looking so crazy right now, your love’s♪
♪Got me looking so crazy right now♪
♪Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch♪
♪Got me looking so crazy right now♪
Lady Gaga – “Bad Romance”
♪Rah rah ah-ah-ah♪
♪Ro mah ro-mah-mah♪
♪Gaga oh-la-la♪
♪Want your bad romance♪
Alex Van Halen / Edward Van Halen / David Lee Roth – “Jump”
♪Jump, jump, jump♪
♪Might as well jump♪
再见伊吉 再见佩里 再见卡拉
Bye, Iggy. Bye, Perry. Bye, Carla.
再见盖尔 再见罗利 再见米基
Bye, Gail. Bye, Rory. Bye, Mickey.
再见莫伊 再见尼尔森 再见汉娜
Bye, moe. Bye, Nelson. Bye, Hannah.
再见 泰斯 再见 卡斯帕
Bye, Tess. Bye-bye, caspar.
歌♥唱大赛海选
十万大奖等你拿
Seal – “Kiss From A Rose”
♪Baby♪
♪I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey♪
きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ – “きらきらキラー”
♪L U C K♪
♪L U C K♪
♪I love my shoes♪
Donovan – “I Love My Shirt”
♪I love my shoes♪
♪Come on lady come come my lady♪
Crazy Town – “Butterfly”
♪You are my butterfly sugar baby♪
本地歌♥唱大赛海选 众人参与渴望当明星
我们再听听队列中其他选手怎么说
let’s hear from a few more of the folks in line.
-您呢 先生 -好吧 鲍勃
– What about you, sir? -Well, Bob,
我是一家顶尖医药公♥司♥的实验室技术员
I’m a lab technician for a leading pharmaceutical company,
可是我天赋异禀
but I was born with a gift.
那就是唱歌♥
And that gift is to sing.
Shooby Taylor – “Stout-Hearted Men”
♪Plav da shree, loh ku pah♪
♪Dav du sah! Soo-da-li dwee-daht♪
♪Soo-da-li doo-ton plah-blah♪
♪Oh my gosh♪
Nicki Minaj – “Anaconda”
♪Look at her butt♪
♪Oh my gosh♪
♪Look at her…♪
Garth Jennings & David Bassett – “I Don’t Wanna”
♪I live my life by myself♪
♪Can’t stand a thing that you say♪
♪I am not listening anyway♪
♪I am not listening anyway yeah♪
♪Lollipop Lollipop Oh Lolli-Lolli-Lolli♪
The Chordettes – “Lollipop”
♪Lollipop Lollipop Oh Lolli-Lolli-Lolli♪
爸 我出去一下
Oi, dad. Just going out.
早点回来 我叫了其他人过来
Well, don’t be long. I got the gang coming over.
♪Lollipop Lollipop Oh Lolli-Lolli-Lolli♪
车♥库♥
♪Lollipop Lollipop Oh Lolli-Lolli-Lolli♪
是这样 我估计你们肯定
Well, look, I mean, I’m sure you’re gonna get
听见过不少动物们在那矫情 说什么

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