Well, I mean, that’s what I say
避免非常真实的可能性
to avoid the very real possibility
我可能只是一名老师。
that I might just be a teacher.
嗯，巴纳德的教授。
Well, a professor at Barnard.
你真的在交易。我印象深刻。
You’re really trading up. I’m impressed.
是的。听她说。
Yeah, I did. Listen to her.
这就像和玛丽·波平斯住在一起一样。
It’s like living with Mary Poppins.
哦，我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
你们明天有什麽计划？我必须工作。
What do you guys have planned for tomorrow? I’ve got to work.
好吧，本来这裡基本上是为了跟踪他的前女友，所以……
Well, Ben’s here basically to stalk his ex-girlfriend, so…
不是我的前女友。我们只是休息了一段时间。
Not my ex-girlfriend. We’re just taking some time off.
如果你处于一段功能失调的长♥期♥关係中……
If you were in a dysfunctional, long-term relationship…
请不要这麽称呼它。
Please don’t call it that.
…你的伴侣说她“休息了一段时间”
…and your partner says she’s “taking some time off”
并在全国各地移♥动♥…为了实习。
and moves across the country… For an internship.
…你会假设 – 我的意思是，这是一个分手，对吧？
…you’d assume– I mean, that’s a breakup, right?
她离开时情况如何？-可怕。
How were things when she left? – Terrible.
不，不可怕。
No, not terrible.
我们渐行渐远了一点，
We were drifting apart a little bit,
我们…
and we were…
肯定打了很多架。
definitely fighting a lot.
你知道，否则…
You know, otherwise…
我认为漂移比战斗更糟糕。
I think the drifting is worse than the fighting.
爱丽丝和我已经有过争吵了，
Alice and I have had our share of fights already,
但他们真的很有成效。
but they’ve been really productive.
哦，爱丽丝，你现在正在进行富有成效的战斗。
Oh, Alice, you’re now having productive fights.
是的，本。这叫做成熟。
Yeah, Ben. It’s called maturity.
当你准备好时，我可以给你一些指示。
I can give you some pointers when you’re ready.
所以问你。
So question for you.
当你有这些富有成效的战斗时，
When you have these productive fights,
她有没有踢过你的阴♥户♥？
did she ever kick you in the pussy?
呃。。。我想我会记得她是否这样做了。
Uh… I think I’d remember if she did.
就不理他。
Just ignore him.
这是一件相当沉重的事情。
That’s a pretty heavy thing to say.
不！不不。这不是我说的。
No! No, no. That’s not my phrase.
这其实是她生气时说的话——
That’s actually something she said when she got mad–
放手吧，本。
Let it go, Ben.
有什麽想说的吗？
Anything you wanna say?
纽约的百吉饼真的更好。
The bagels in New York are really better.
不好意思。我猜她并没有真正理解我们的幽默感。
Sorry. I guess she doesn’t really get our sense of humor.
与她无关。- 我只是出去了 –
Not about her. – I just went out on a limb–
让我澄清一下。这是不同的。
Let me clarify. This is different.
我真的很喜欢这个。我的意思是，她非常适合我。
I really like this one. I mean, she’s perfect for me.
哦，你们还处于那个阶段。
Oh, you guys are still in that phase.
很可爱。- 本，我是认真的，好吗？
It’s cute. – Ben, I’m serious, okay?
这对我来说终于是一个机会
This is finally a chance for me
爬出我一直住的那个洞。
to climb out of that hole I’ve been living in.
并且，你知道，成为一个真正的成年人，一次。
And to be, you know, a real adult human, for once.
那麽我们至少可以尝试不为我搞砸这件事吗？
So can we at least attempt to not fuck this up for me?
好。
Okay.
你在加州更有趣。- 你差不多。
You’re more fun in California. – You’re about the same.
看，你甚至无法从中分辨出任何东西。
See, you can’t even tell anything from this.
就像食物一样…
It’s, like, food…
更多的食物。
more food.
让我想想。
Let me see.
谁是莱昂设计212，
Who’s LeonDesigns212,
为什麽他喜欢她所有的照片？
and why’s he liking all of her pics?
我靠！
Holy shit!
搞什麽？
What the fuck?
肯定是她吧？
It’s definitely her, right?
我的意思是，我知道所有的亚洲女孩在你看来都是一样的。
I mean, I know all Asian girls look the same to you.
在我尝试处理这个时，你会闭嘴一分钟吗？
Will you shut up for a minute while I try to process this?
天啊，我不知道她有多热。
God, I had no idea how hot she was.
伙计，你搞砸了。- 我说，闭嘴。
Dude, you fucked up. – I said, shut up.
我可以帮你吗？
Can I help you?
我们只是对橱窗裡的照片感到好奇。
We were just curious about the photos in the window.
他们不是很神奇吗？
Aren’t they totally amazing?
是的。你知道他们吗？他们从哪裡来？
Yeah. You know anything about them? Where they came from?
哦，莱昂自己处理所有的促销。
Oh, Leon handles all the promo himself.
而莱昂是…？
And Leon is…?
莱昂亚历山大。
Leon Alexander.
他设计衣服。
He designs the clothes.
这是他的精品店。
This is his boutique.
啊。谦逊。
Ah. Humility.
呃–
Uh–
萤幕上的模型呢？
What about the model on the screen?
你知道她吗？
Do you know anything about her?
他从四面八方找到他们。
He finds them from all over.
他在Chipotle找到了他的最后一名模特。
He found his last model at a Chipotle.
有多少？
How many are there?
您对衣服有疑问吗？
Do you have questions about the clothes?
这是邪教吗？
Is this a cult?
你现在怎麽不生气？
How are you not mad right now?
所以她想尝试模特什麽的。
So she wanted to try modeling or whatever.
她可能以为我不会支援。
She probably thought I wouldn’t be supportive
如果她告诉我这件事。- 她会错吗？
if she told me about it. – And she’d be wrong?
不，我会对此感到非常讨厌。
No, I would’ve been a total prick about it.
在某种程度上，我强迫她撒谎。
In a way, I forced her to lie.
想到她这样做真是太奇怪了。
It’s just so weird to think of her doing that.
就像我发现你是个哑剧一样。
It’s like if I found out you were a mime.
不要敲哑剧。卓别林是个哑剧。
Don’t knock mimes. Chaplin was a mime.
你什麽时候去见她？你确实来看她了，对吧？
When are you gonna see her? You did come to see her, right?
我明天有一个计划。-真的？这个，我得看看。
I have a plan for tomorrow. – Oh, really? This, I gotta see.
这太不像你了。- 这就是重点。
This is so unlike you. – That’s the point.
你好。
Hi.
你不应该有。
You shouldn’t have.
呃，我——我是来看Miko的。
Uh, I’m– I’m here to see Miko.
谁？东美子。她是这里的实习生。
Who? Miko Higashi. She’s an intern here.
我现在是这裡唯一的实习生。
I’m the only intern here right now.
好吧，你知道她什麽时候回来吗？
Okay, do you know when she’s gonna be back?
看，这裡只有一个实习生
Look, there is only one intern working here
在这个时间点，你正在看着他。
at this point in time, and you’re looking at him.
我希望你没有被鲶鱼。
I hope you’re not being catfished.
那会很糟糕。
That would suck.
你能检查一下她是否在你之前在这裡工作过吗？
Can you check if she maybe worked here before you?
我不应该透露那种资讯。
I’m not supposed to give out that kind of information.
请。
Please.
其实，我他妈的在乎什麽？
Actually, what the fuck do I care?
不。
No.
他妈的！
Fuck!
什麽？本。
What? Ben.
好吧，我的大动作就这麽多。
Well, so much for my big move.
他妈的撒谎的婊♥子♥。-不要。
Fucking lying bitch. – Don’t.
那麽现在呢？
So now what?
我可以使用你们的手♥机♥吗？
Can I use your phone?
你的怎麽了？
What’s wrong with yours?
我试过了。
I tried that.
你好？嘿，是我。
Hello? Hey, it’s me.
哦。你好。
Oh. Hi.
您拨♥打♥的这个号♥码是什麽？
What’s this number you’re calling from?
哦，对了。我和爱丽丝出去了，我把手♥机♥忘在家裡了。
Oh, right. I’m out with Alice, and I forgot my phone at home.
对不起。
I’m sorry.
我应该打电♥话♥的。我只是。。。
I should’ve called. I just…
我觉得我们沟通得不是很好
I felt like we weren’t communicating very well
通过电♥话♥和——
over the phone and–
不，没事。我知道你很忙。
No, no, no, it’s fine. I know you’re busy.
好吧，我们应该谈谈。
Well, we should talk.
我现在正在工作，
I’m in the middle of something at work right now,
但是——你是说，实习？
but– You mean, the internship?
嗯哼。
Uh-huh.
我今晚晚些时候会给你打电♥话♥。