足球尤物（2006）

对不起，我球踢得不太好？
I’m sorry I’m not a very good soccer player.
我明白了
I see.
那好吧，请了解我下面要说的
Well then, please know that what I say,
让我非常之沉重
I say with a heavy heart.
女士们，先生们，尊敬的男同学们
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed alumni,
以及赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯的朋友和家人
friends and family of Sebastian Hastings,
我非常伤心地…
I am grievously sad…
…告诉你们，赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯
…to inform you that Sebastian Hastings
是一个… 女孩子
is… a girl.
对不起，都是为了你好，你有一天会感谢我的
Sorry, it’s for your own good. You’ll thank me for it someday.
哦，是的，确实是
Oh, OK. Certainly. Yes.
对不起，我不是女孩
Excuse me. I’m not a girl.
少来，是的.
Hello! Yes.
实际上，是的，他是个女孩子
In fact, yes, he is. He’s a big girl.
她实际上是他的妹妹，维奥拉，
He’s actually specifically his own sister, Viola,
她已经假扮他很久了
who’s been impersonating him for reasons which will become very clear
出于某些心理问题
after extensive psychoanalysis.
大家听着
Folks.
我保证，我是男的
I’m a boy. I promise.
– 证明 – 好吧
– Prove it. – OK.
天！我看见了
God! I saw it.
哇，鲍尔，干得好
Nice work, Paul. Wow.
这才是我儿子
That’s my boy.
凯文，闭上你的眼睛
Kevin, close your eyes.
足球是世界上最受欢迎的游戏
Soccer is the world’s favorite sport.
谢谢，谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
没什么可看的，没恶意
Nothing to see here. No offense.
大家请等一下
Folks, please, hang on for one second.
你们互相先聊一下
Just talk amongst yourselves for a second.
麦尔肯姆！
Malcolm!
就现在的情况你有什么可解释的么？
Can you shed some light on the current situation?
先生，没有更多的解释了
Not any more than has already been shed, sir.
好的，女士们，听着
OK, lads, listen up now.
我们现在已经确定，这个孩子
Now that we’ve established this boy…
…是个男孩…
…is a boy…
…有没有可能我们开始比赛？
…is it possible we can get back to our game?
是的，请，刚才只是我们乱幽默..
Yes. Enjoy. That was a skit we…
好的，是的
OK. Yes.
让我们继续，兄弟们，加油
Let’s get to it, guys. Come on.
– 我知道，让我们继续 – 浪费时间
– I know, let’s play. – Waste of time.
宝贝，宝贝，宝贝，宝贝 我真得好想念你
Baby. Baby, baby, baby. I have missed you so much.
哦，天啊，我们俩死定了
Oh, my God, we are both so dead.
我们完了，摩妮琪. 完了
We’re over, Monique. Done.
天啊！又来一次！
God! Not again!
干得不错，海斯丁斯.
Good work, Hastings.
板凳
Bench.
好样的！
Good one!
半场，先生们
Halftime, gentlemen.
赛巴斯蒂安！
Sebastian!
– 维？ – 是啊
– Vi? – Yes.
为什么你看起来象我？！
Why do you look like me?!
上两个星期我一直假装你
I pretended to be you the last two weeks
为了证明我可以在男子队里踢球
to prove I could play in the boys soccer team.
– 是的 – 好吧，好吧，酷
– Yes. – OK. OK, cool.
– 不对，等一下，什么？！ -我没时间解释！
– No, wait! What?! – I don’t have time to explain!
为什么你穿着我的队服？
Why are you wearing my uniform?
我来这里找昨晚上亲我那女孩
I came to find the girl that kissed me last night.
– 谁亲了你？什么女孩？ – 你看，那个
– Who kissed you? What girl? – Check it out. That one.
奥莉维亚？
Olivia?
她爱上我了，她亲了我还朗诵了我的歌♥词
She was all over me. She kissed me and recited my own lyrics.
维，也许那就是我梦中的女孩
Vi, this may be the girl of my dreams.
杜克看到的就是那个
That’s the kiss that Duke saw.
等一下，这些是真的？
Wait, are those real?
是啊，我长鬓角了
Yeah. I’m growing sideburns.
不！ 藏起来一直到比赛结束
No! Please stay hidden until the end of the game.
还有现在把衣服还给我！
And give me my uniform back right now!
我们现在开始下半场
We start the second half.
伊利里亚，零，康沃尔，零. 两颗大零蛋
Illyria, zero, Cornwall, zero. Nothing but a couple of goose eggs.
– 教练我准备好了 – 你刚才干什么来着？
– Coach, I’m ready to play. – Is that what you call it?
我见过穿着裙子的小女孩踢得都比你好
I’ve seen little girls in tutus kick the ball better.
我已经改了
I’ve changed.
求你了教练，给我一次机会
Come on, coach, give me one more chance.
好吧，去
All right. Go.
踢球，冲杀！
Kick. Kill!
耶！那是维奥拉！
Yeah! Now that’s Viola!
你上半场赢不了我
You couldn’t score on me in the first half.
亲爱的，你下半场也赢不了我！ 我是忍♥者！忍♥者守门员！
You ain’t going to score on me this half, baby! I’m ninja! Ninja goalie!
加油！
Come on, guys!
杜克！ 杜克！ 我这里空了！
Duke! Duke! I’m open!
传球！ 杜克！ 嘿，这里
Give me the ball! Duke! Hey, over here!
我这里空了！
I’m open!
杜克！ 回来！回来！
Duke! Get back! Get back!
不！
No!
好的，就这样干，宝贝儿！
Yes, Dan-O, way to go, baby!
康沃尔以牙还牙
Cornwall’s right back in it with a goal.
– 你有什么问题？！ 赛巴斯蒂安那里空着！ – 能为了什么丢一球？！
– What’s the matter?! Sebastiars open! – Rather lose the goal?!
闭嘴，你
Shut up, man.
杜克，我知道你生我气
Duke, I know you’re mad at me.
别跟我说话，离我远点！
Don’t talk to me. Get out of my face!
我跟奥莉维亚没事发生！ 比赛结束我会向你解释的！
Nothing is going on with me and Olivia! When the game is over I’ll explain!
现在你不用喜欢我，但是我是你队友？！
For right now, you don’t have to like me, but I’m your teammate, OK?!
我想要打败他们！ 我必须打败他们！
I want to beat these guys! I have to beat these guys!
不知道有没有打搅你们 我们有场比赛要打
If we’re not disturbing you, we have a soccer game to finish.
回你的网子里去
Get back in the net, man.
不回怎么样，你又要拿你的脸来碰我的拳头？
Or you’ll hit my fist with your face again?
你想我这么干么？ 来啊！
Do you want to see me do it? Let’s go!
杜克，别这样，停手
Duke, come on. Stop it.
– 别这样！ – 杜克，停手
– Come on! – Duke, stop it.
赛巴斯蒂安！
Sebastian!
杜克！ 停手！
Duke! Stop it!
停手！
Come on!
好！
OK!
停手！ 哦天啊！
Stop it! Oh, my God!
如果你们想打架， 离开运动场距离
If you want to roughhouse, take it at least 500 yards
– 至少500码 – 散开！ 散开！
– away from the stadium grounds. – Break it up! Break it up!
听着，小子们
OK, tough guys.
你们要是想拳击？从我的运动场滚出去
You want to box? You get out of my stadium.
否则就好好比赛
Otherwise, get on with the game.
听着，伊利里亚的犰狳们
Come on, now, Armadillos of Illyria.
其他人也是！
That goes for the rest of you!
去打一场真的比赛！
Now get on and play some real football!
– 别好象一群女人 – 好的
– Like a bunch of girls. – OK.
其他人，让我们象女人一样打场橄榄球
The rest of you, let’s play some real football like a bunch of girls.
– 好不好？ – 你白♥痴♥！
– All right? – You suck!
那不是橄榄球，是足球，美国是这么叫的
It’s not football, it’s soccer. That’s what we call it in the States.
– 赛巴斯蒂安！ 你没事吧？ – 不， 奥莉维亚，别现在
– Sebastian! Are you OK? – No, Olivia, Not now.
你还想告诉我说什么也没发生
Try to tell me again there’s nothing going on.
什么都没有！
There is nothing going on!
– 那昨晚怎么回事？ – 我没对你撒谎，杜克.
– What about last night? – I didn’t lie to you, Duke.
我撒谎了，但不是这个
I did, but not about this.
真♥相♥是这样的
Here’s the truth.
我爱你
I love you.
你再说一次？
I beg your pardon?
什么？好吧，你刚才说…？ 这可真有点奇怪了
What? All right… What’re you…? That’s just a little weird.
要吧，你知道么？ 我不能再隐瞒了
OK, you know what? I can’t do this anymore.
大家，我有话要说
Everybody, I have something to tell you.
我不是赛巴斯蒂安.
I’m not Sebastian.
我是维奥拉.
I’m Viola.
等一下，你不是维奥拉.
Wait. You’re not Viola.
– 是的，我是 – 不，我认识维奥拉.
– Yes, I am. – No, I know Viola.