上海正午2：上海骑士

一大堆”别烦我”
A whole lot of “leave me alone.”
怎么了
What’s wrong?
没什么
Nothing.
我从床的另一边醒来
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
我觉得后背有点疼 好像有人在那扎了一刀
I feel a little pain in my back like someone put a knife there.
我没事
I’m okay.
不用替我担心
Don’t worry about me.
罗伊
Roy!
哒哒
T ada!
那实际上让我想起了一个诡计
That actually reminds me of a trick.
你从没见过这个
You ever seen this one?!
还有这个
Or this one?!
你以为你的功夫很酷
You think you’re so cool with your karate
还有你那象小孩似的反映
and your childlike reflexes.
罗伊 你没事吧
Roy, you okay?
看看你
Look at you.
你真的叫我罗伊·欧胡扯
Do you really call me Roy Baloney?
罗伊 你不明白
Roy, you don’t understand.
你刚刚砸碎了我的难题箱
You just smashed my puzzle box.
我永远不会知道我的消息是什么
I’ll never figure out my message.
罗伊 u3000u3000u3000走开
Roy… Go.
我对你已经没有任何感觉了
You’re dead to me.
我不认识姜文
I don’t know a Chon Wang.
什么
What?
嗨 罗伊
Hi, Roy.
谁爱你 宝贝
Who loves you, baby?
干得不错 姜u3000u3000u3000罗伊
Nice try, Chon. Roy…
对不起
I’m sorry.
你再那么做一次 你就死定了
You do that again, and you’re a dead man.
枕头战
Pillow fight!
我是罗伊·欧胡扯
I am Roy Baloney!
对
Yes!
我好高兴
I’m full of it!
没错
You are!
罗伊
Roy?
罗伊
Roy?
玲
Lin!
这是他的主意
It was his idea.
姜 衣服
Chon! Clothes!
是散步的好天气
Nice night for a walk.
玲
Lin!
玲 你在这啊
Lin! There you are!
你在干什么
What are you doing?
你不知道这有很多连环杀手吗
Don’t you know there’s a serial killer on the loose?
别提了
Forget it.
这些人是什么人
Who the hell are these guys?
刺客
Boxers.
他们想从我们这得到什么
What do they want with us?
他们是我的人
They’re with me.
我想我们应该谈谈
I think we need to have a little chat.
姜文
Chon Wang
可以与皇帝对抗的人
the man who can fight an emperor.
一个皇帝从来不应该有 他自己的葬礼刀
The emperor should never have his burial knife.
我明白了
I see.
你仍然是我哥哥的走狗
You’re still my brother’s lapdog.
我来这不是为了他
I’m here not for him.
我来这为了我爸爸
I’m here for my father.
当然
Of course you are.
是我用匕♥首♥插♥进♥他的心脏
It was my dagger that plunged into his heart.
沾了他的血 匕♥首♥也锈了
It’s still crusted with his blood.
我知道玉玺在那小孩身上
I know the boy has the seal.
他在哪
Where is he?
我们不知道
We don’t know.
那是事实我们不知道
That’s the truth we don’t know.
嗯
Mmm…
你要 你要干什么
What are you What are you doing?
住手 把她放下来
Stop! Put her down!
把她放下来 把她放下来
Put her down! Put her down!
不然怎么样 欧班纳先生
Or what, Mr. O’Bannon?
你要踢我
Are you gonna kick my ass?
我看了你所有的自编的荒谬的故事
I’ve read all about your ridiculous exploits.
我是说 只是
I mean, just…
你赤手空拳杀死木乃伊的感觉如何
how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands?
只有那些无知的乡下人
Only a nation of uneducated rednecks
才会对这种西部牛仔的鬼话赶兴趣
would be amused by such cowboy drivel.
噢 噢 噢 放松
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.
怎么要对我人身攻击
What’s with the personal attacks?
你没看我的注解
You don’t see me making any comments
关于你苍白的面色 还有你那下♥贱♥的口音
about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent
还有你的污秽发霉的色情小说
or even your filthy, smutty sex books.
对 我看了你的书 令我作呕
Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me.
哦 你的人为什么老是打头
Oh, why is it always the head with you people?!
住手 停下 住手
Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
就停一下
Just hold it!
我们在这干什么 看这个
What are we doing here? Guys, look at this.
象野兽一样 要怎么样
We’re acting like animals… over what?
要玉玺
Some seal?
玉玺代表了皇帝的权力
The seal represents imperial power.
我要用他来联合皇帝的敌人
I will use it to unite the emperor’s enemies
围攻紫禁城
and storm the Forbidden City.
那你想要什么
What’s in it for you?
你看到的是未来的英国国王
You’re looking at the future king of England.
你排在继承君主宝座的第20位
You’re, like, 20th in line to the throne.
第10位
10th.
但是我的朋友马上就要把这改写
But my friend is about to change all that
简单的 消灭过程
by simple… process of elimination.
这个叫机关枪
It’s called a machine gun.
一分钟可以射出200发子弹
The first of its kind it fires 200 rounds a minute.
大不列颠的遗嘱
Testament to British ingenuity.
哦 是你偷了玉玺
Oh, so you steal the seal,
然后再杀9个皇室成员
and then you knock off nine royals?
你得到的好处不多 朋友
You got the short end of that stick, my friend.
把他们扔到河里
Dump them in the river.
你们要把她带到哪
Where are you taking her?
去创造历史
To make history.
我已经能看到头条新闻
I can already see the headlines
“全国为疯子玲残杀皇室默哀”
“Nation mourns as Loony Lin massacres royal family.”
我要你确保你能找到玉玺
I need your assurance that you will find the seal.
不要涉及到你自己
Don’t concern yourself.
我的人在城里搜
My men are scouring the city.
你最好祈祷他们能找到 不然我们的合作就会终止
You better pray they find it… or our agreement is over,
而你也永远得不到皇冠
and you will never get the crown.
姜 我有点事要向你坦白
Chon, I got a confession to make.
你爱上我妹妹了
You are in love with my sister.
那个 但是
Well, that, but…
我没在那个股票上输掉所有的钱
I didn’t lose all the money on the zeppelins.
没有
No?
没有 我用了大部份的钱出版我的小说了
Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O’Bannon novels.
我写的
I wrote them.
不 塞奇麦考利斯特写的
No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
那正是我要说的 兄弟 我就是塞奇·麦考利斯特
That’s what I’m saying, buddy. I’m Sage McCallister.
你写的那些谎话
You wrote those lies?!
我一直都很自卑
I’ve always had low selfesteem.
你印了多少本
How many books did you print?
我私人出版大概100万份
I selfpublished probably a million copies.
那年我们只比《圣经》少了点
We were actually second to the Bible that year.
哦 你
Oh, you
我猜我是能找到的
I guess I’m just about the worst friend
最坏的朋友了
a guy could ask for.
不 你是我的好朋友
No, you’re a good friend.