情人眼里出西施 Shallow Hal（2001）

嗨，哇，哦，上帝呀，看看那张脸
Hey. Wow. Oh, my God. Look at that face.
你应该加入Keebler商会 你是我见到的最聪明的人。
She should be doing Keebler commercials. You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
你的名字是什么，靓女？
Cadence
– What’s your name, beautiful? – Cadence.
Cadence，很棒的名字，知道吗， 我叔叔的名字就叫Cadence
Cadence. That’s a pretty name. You know, my uncle’s name is Cadence.
好的，我要告诉你，Cadence
Well, I got news for you, Cadence.
我不会放你下来，直至母牛们回家
I’m not putting you down until the cows come home.
把她放下来
Put her down.
母牛回家了
The cow came home.
他在这里干什么？ 现在不是探视时间
What is he doing here? These aren’t visiting hours.
哦，Peeler护士，我们只是凑巧经过， 顺便向孩子们问个好。
Oh, Nurse Peeler, we were just coming by to say hi to the kids.
好 就到这里吧
Fine. Pack it up.
将这些病人放回她们的床上去吧
And get these patients back in their beds.
(BP机)
我们得离开吗？ – 别在乎Sourpuss护士
Should we get going? – Don’t pay any attention to Nurse Sourpuss.
酸酸的
Sourpuss.
嗨！我有个主意 你们想玩接吻游戏吗？
Hey! I got an idea. Do you guys wanna play the kissing game?
什么？ – 你想让我去拿个瓶子来？
Yeah? – You want me to go get a bottle?
我们这样玩 谁有口红？
This is how we play. Wanna get the lipstick?
去拿口红 – 耶，好的
Get lipstick. – Yeah, OK.
我们要做的是，我们涂上口红…
What we do is, we put on the lipstick,
然后接吻的人去接吻，直到口红没了
and then the kisser kisses as many times as they can until the lipstick comes off.
酷！我想首先来
Cool! I wanna go first.
那我最后一个来 – Jesse
Then I’m going last. – Jesse.
嗨，他们没有传染病吧？ – 他们的病不会传染给你的
Hey, they don’t have anything I can catch? – They don’t have anything you can catch.
我不这样认为 你们看起来都没有病
I didn’t think so. You guys don’t even look sick.
你们就像我的Cadence叔叔 是一群小捣蛋
You’re just a bunch of phonies like my Uncle Cadence.
我打赌，你们在这里因为你们不想上学 是吗？
I bet you’re here just so you can get out of school. Is that right?
耶 – 给我来点口红
Yeah. – Give me some of that lipstick.
你在那里的表现令人难以置信 是的，你太让人惊奇了
You were incredible in there. You were. You were so amazing.
我是认真的 在那样的情形下， 许多人都有点拘谨…
I’m serious. A lot of people get really squeamish in that situation…
罗斯玛丽？是你吗？ – Sayed医生。你还好吗？
Rosemary? Is that you? – Dr Sayed! How’s it going?
还好，这是谁？ – 这是我的朋友哈尔
Good. Who’s this? – This is my friend Hal.
很高兴见到你 – 对她好点，她是个好女孩
Good to meet you. – Be nice to her. She’s a good girl.
好的 – 再见，罗斯玛丽
All right. – Bye, Rosemary.
这就是这些孩子们需要的 –
That’s what these kids need –
一个陌生人不害怕与他们一起， 和他们一起玩耍
a stranger who isn’t afraid to just be with them and play with them.
这就是建立他们的自信心 – 为什么人们要害怕他们呢？
That’s what builds their self-confidence. – Why would anybody be afraid of ’em?
你真是太可爱了 你知道吗？
You are off-the-charts adorable. Do you know that?
快
Come on.
这就是你住的漂亮的街道 – 是的，我住的街道
This is a nice street you live on. – Yeah, this is my street.
你想上去吗？ – 想，但我想我不该上去
You wanna come up? – Yeah. But I don’t think I should.
为什么不呢？还只有9点呢
Why not? It’s only 9 o’clock.
我知道，只是我想这不是个好主意 – 哦，不，我做错了什么？
I know. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. – Oh, no. Did I do something?
不，你表现很好
No. You’ve been really cool.
嗨，哈尔 – 哦，嗨，吉儿
Hi, Hal. – Oh, hey, Jill.
罗斯玛丽，这是我的邻居吉儿 – 嗨，高兴…
Rosemary, this is my neighbor Jill. – Hi. Nice…
抱歉 – 高兴认识你
Sorry. – Nice to meet you.
我也很高兴认识你，吉儿
Nice to meet you too, Jill.
我得走了，和朋友会面。以后见
I gotta go and meet some friends, so I’ll see you guys later.
再见 – 再见
Bye. – Bye.
上去吧
Come up.
不 – 什么？
No. – What?
我想我们在一起很愉快
I thought we were having a good time.
是的，只是我还不习惯这些
We were. It’s just, you know, Hal, I’m not used to all this.
习惯什么？
Used to what?
哈尔，你今天对我真的很好 我很高兴，但是…
Hal, you’ve been really nice to me today. I really appreciate it, but…
什么？难道你其他的男朋友对你不好吗？
What, your other boyfriends aren’t nice to you?
我没有其他的男朋友 – 瞎说
I don’t have other boyfriends. – Bullshit.
是的，我有过一个男朋友
Well, I had one boyfriend.
事实上，就是在最近，但吹了。
It was kind of recently, actually, but it didn’t work out.
你一定很投入，嗯？ – 不
You’ve been burnt, huh? – No.
就是这样 我，嗯… 我从来没有和人接近到投入
That’s just it. I’ve never been close enough to anybody to get burnt.
打住！像你这样的脸蛋？ 你每天一定给他们吵得烦死了。
Please! With a mug like that? You must be fighting ’em off daily.
不！我是说， 我看到了你朋友摩里西奥看我时的样子。
Right. I mean, I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me.
我想他会用麻♥醉♥枪♥射翻我 将我的耳朵穿起来。
I thought he was gonna shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear.
别担心。他是有点怪的， 尤其是看到真正漂亮的女孩子
Don’t worry. He’s been acting really weird lately, especially around really pretty girls.
哈尔… 拜托别再说我漂亮 说我不胖了，好吗？
Hal, do me a favor and stop saying that I’m pretty and that I’m not fat, OK?
因为这让我不舒服
Cos it makes me uncomfortable.
好的，你不喜欢听赞美的吗？
OK. You have a problem with compliments?
是的… 我知道我有什么，我没有什么
Look… I know what I am and I know what I’m not.
我是一个出生上层，喜欢风趣的女孩
I’m the girl who gets really good grades and is not afraid to be funny.
我是个有许多男性朋友的， 不是男朋友的女孩
And I’m the girl who has a lot of friends who are boys, and no boyfriends.
我并不漂亮，OK？我也永远不会
I’m not beautiful, OK? And I never will be.
我觉得这很好。你懂吗？
And I’m fine with that. You know?
但是当你总是说我拥有那些 我并没有的东西时
But when you go around saying that I’m something that I’m not,
这… 这并不好
it’s just… It’s not nice.
哇，罗斯玛丽
Whoa, Rosemary.
你在吓我，我是说，我是真的喜欢你
You’re starting to scare me. I mean, I really like you,
但是我想你是有点傻， 如果你真的认为你不漂亮的话
but I have to assume you’re a little nutty if you really believe you’re not beautiful.
别说了，哈尔
Grow up, Hal.
Rosie，等等
Rosie. Wait a second.
好，真是好得让人难以相信
Well, it was too good to be true.
嗯？
罗斯玛丽，可能有点不正常
Rosemary. Turned out to be a total psycho.
她的自我印象太差了，令人恐惧
Her self-image is so far off, it’s scary.
是的，也许你得加把劲去忍♥受它
Well, maybe you had a little something to do with that.
你在说什么？ 我所做的无非是说她有多完美
What are you talking about? All I ever did was tell her how perfect she was.
真的吗？
Really?
是 然后她发火了，要我成熟点
Yeah. Then she got all huffy and told me to grow up.
是的，那也许是个好建议 你是有点不成熟
Well, that’s probably good advice. You are kind of immature.
你在开玩笑吧 你真的认为你比我要成熟？
You’re not serious. You actually think you’re more mature than me?
对的 我可能是没有你成熟， 但至少我的阳物比你的大
You’re right. I’m probably more immature than you, but at least I have a bigger willie.
呸，是比老鼠的大吧
Yeah, bigger than a mouse’s.
那到底是什么？ – 我说过你的阳物比…
What the hell was that? – I said your willie’s…
我听到你说的了，你好像用了8秒钟
I heard what you said, but it took you, like, eight seconds.
你不能用8秒钟之后的回话来还嘴, 你只能用3秒,最多5秒
You can’t come back with a comeback after eight seconds. You got three. Five, tops.
那才是人们所说的”快嘴”，而不是”慢语”
That’s why they call it a quip. Not a “slowp.”
好的，找点好的东西读一下 吧？ 我要去”发射导弹”(暗指上厕所)了
All right, you got anything better to read? I gotta fire off a missile.
(敲门)
嗨
Hi.
我来得不是时候，也许…？ – 不
Is this a bad time, or…? – No.
我来只是为昨晚的事道歉
I just wanted to apologize for last night.
你不必道歉 – 不，我抱歉
You don’t have to apologize. – Yeah, I do.
我说你，比如不成熟，一知半解 以及诸如此类的话。我知道你并不是…
I called you, like, immature or sophomoric or something like that. I know you’re not…
(摩里西奥) 噢，天啦，哈尔！ 你快进来，看看这个家伙
Oh, my God, Hal! You gotta get in here and look at this turd!
看起来就像是《野战医院》里的Klinger。
It looks just like Klinger from M*A*S*H,
我们离开这里吧。 – 好的
Why don’t we get outta here? – OK.
咖啡？
Coffee?
(# “Baby，Now That I’ve Found You”
by The Foundations)
打扰 可以点菜了吗？
Excuse me. Are you ready to order?
好的 两份双层三明治， 一份加熏肉，一份加泡菜，谢谢
Yes. Two double cheeseburgers with bacon, one with relish. Thank you.
(吸吮声)
哦
你还好吗？ – 脑袋都冰木了
Are you OK? – Brain freeze.
# 宝贝，既然找到了你，我就放不下你了
# Baby，now that I’ve found you I can’t let you go
#我会围绕你建立我的世界
# I’ll build my world around you
# 我如此需要你，宝贝，即使…
# I need you so，baby，even though…
对不起，亲爱的 看职业选手的。
Excuse me, sweetie. Professional.
嗨，比利，离梯子近点
Hey, Billy, stay over near the ladder.
没劲 太没劲了
Weak. So weak.
你想看水花吗？我让你看水花，好了吗？
You wanna see a splash? I’m gonna show you a splash. Ready?
# 一生都在寻找一个人
# Spent a lifetime looking for somebody
#给我像你一样的爱
# To give me love like you
# 宝贝，既然找到了你，我就放不下你了…
# Baby，now that I’ve found you I can’t let you go…
怎么样？ – 比利？
That was good? – Billy?
比利？比利？比利！
Billy? Billy? Billy!
爸爸！
Daddy!
对不起
Sorry.
怎么了？ – 在沙滩上，我该换一下衣服
What’s the matter? – I should have changed at the beach.
什么？你疯了吗？你看起来很好
What? Are you crazy? You look great.
平常我在我父母面前从没有穿成这样的
I don’t normally dress like this around my parents.
嗨，嗨，快 到这儿该是我紧张，不是你
Hey, hey, come on. I’m the one who should be nervous here, not you.