情人眼里出西施 Shallow Hal（2001）

应该说是女孩，都不是属于你该要的。
I should say girl – you’ve gone after has been completely out of your league.
那是什么意思？ – 她没什么意思。
What’s that supposed to mean? – She doesn’t mean anything by it.
她只是说你不是那么英俊。
She’s just saying you’re not that good-looking.
噢！我还以为她在暗示什么真正的意义呢。
Oh! I thought she was implying something really mean.
不。
No.
嗨，是你，你是电视里的那个催眠师。
Hey, it’s you. You’re the TV guru guy.
很高兴见到你。 – 是的！噢，是你！
Yes, Tony Robbins. Pleased to meet you. – Yeah! Oh, man!
那么，哇！你给过一些名人建议。
So, wow! You gave advice to whatchamacallit.
克♥林♥顿♥总理？曼德拉？ – 不，不，不。
President Clinton? Mandela? – No, no, no.
戈尔巴乔夫？ – 不，不，帕米拉·安德森
Gorbachev? – No, no. Pamela Anderson.
是吗？哈！再来握握手。
Right? Yeah! Give me another handshake.
哇！看这双大手！ 像抓着一大捆香蕉似的。
Wow! Man, look at those mitts! It’s like grabbing a bunch of bananas.
还有那双脚，有多大？
And those dogs. How big are those?
16码，朋友。 – 哦，天啊！
Size 16, buddy. – Holy cannoli.
那你一定很受女士的欢迎。 – 只有一个。
So you must do pretty good with the ladies. – Just one.
真的吗？ – 是的。
Really? – Yeah.
（吃吃地笑）
看来她定是很富激♥情♥的！
She sounds hot!
是一个令人惊异的女子。 – 我打赌是。
She is an amazing lady. – I bet.
那么，你在我们这干什么？ – 我们在这开一个研讨会。
So, what are you doin’ in my town? – We’re doing a seminar here.
我帮助人们处理一些生活中的挑战， 使他们获得尊严和勇气。
I help people to deal with the challenges in life with more dignity and courage.
那正是我的问题，勇气，我正试图…
That’s my deal, is the courage. I try to…
坚持一会，朋友，坚持住。 电梯停了。真怪。
Hang on a second. Buddy, hang on. The elevatorjust stopped. That’s weird.
噢，你，那么我们…？ – 坚持住。
Man, yeah. So what do we…? – Hang on.
你还好吗？我还好。 – 你呢？
Are you OK? I’m fine. – You OK?
是的，是的，只是有点头昏。
Yeah, yeah. It’s just I feel a little light-headed.
然后她甩了我。直截了当，突然断绝往来， 甚至没有一点客气而言。
Then she dumped me. Flat out. Without even the courtesy of a severance pop.
突然断绝？ – 你知道，只有一个结果…
A severance pop? – You know, one last…
别太在意。美女经常会让你这样子的。
To ease the pain. The nice ones’ll sometimes throw you that.
听起来，好像你已有一些奇怪的关系。
It sounds like you’ve had some odd relationships.
是的，你瞧，问题是我有一点吹毛求疵。
Yeah. See, the problem is I’m kinda picky.
什么意思，“吹毛求疵”？ – 好吧，例如，我喜欢很青春的。
What do you mean, “picky”? – Well, for instance, I like ’em real young.
就像，你见过宝琳娜 在她第一本《体育画报》中的造型吗？
Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first Sports Illustrated layout?
你在寻找一个像年轻的宝琳娜的那种类型吗？ – 那张脸，并有光彩。
You’re looking for a young Paulina type? – That face, but with better headlights.
你知道后来她的脸变得灰暗了。
You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately?
海蒂·克拉姆的臀围，还有她的牙齿。
Heidi Klum’s beams would do. And her teeth.
或者那个小甜甜布兰妮女孩。有很大的胸。
Or that Britney Spears girl. She’s got great knockers.
但她肌肉太少。
But she’s a tad muscular.
实际上，你知道吗？她的臀部也很好， 如果她有好的下巴。
Actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille.
像米歇尔·菲弗的抹了润滑油的后背
Like Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did Grease 2,
但她要比米歇尔甜美一点。
But she’d have to be a little smilier than Michelle.
像丽贝卡·罗梅恩-斯坦默斯 在碰到Stamosed的她
Like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed.
但不是很瘦的，有的很丰满 像海蒂，但没有口音。
But not as skinny. Someone meatier, like Heidi, but without the accent.
你知道那些口音：呀－呀－呀－呀
You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah.
她们真老得快，你知道我说的 有些人就喜欢那样。
They really get old fast. You know what I’m saying. Someone like that.
你不认为你看女人的方式太肤浅吗？
Don’t you think you’re being a little bit shallow in the way you look at women?
不，我的意思是，你知道 我也愿意她有内涵
Well, no. I mean, you know, I’d like her to be into culture and shit, too.
好吧，我们来假设一下。
OK, hypothetical situation.
失去一个乳♥房♥♥的女朋友或 失去半个脑袋的女友，你喜欢哪种？
Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
噢，难，这是个难题。
Ooh, toughie. That’s a toughie.
剩下的乳♥房♥♥怎样？大吗？
How’s the remaining breast? Is it big?
你和你父母的关系怎样？ – 非常好。我是说，我妈妈是个开朗的人。
How’s your relationship with your parents? – Excellent. I mean, my mom’s hilarious.
她每天下午打高尔夫球。
She golfs every afternoon.
事实上，我真的不太记得我爸爸了。 他死时我才九岁，所以…
Actually, I don’t really remember my dad. He died when I was nine, so…
如果你九岁，你应该还记得很多。
If you were nine, you should remember a lot.
是的，但是记不得了。
Yeah, but I don’t.
我妈认为我一定对这件事受到了很大的创伤。
My mom thinks I might have been a little traumatised by the whole thing.
不管怎样，我所记得的是，他很伟大。
Anyway, all I remember is, he was great.
他是个伟大的人，我真的很爱他，但…
He was a great guy, and I really loved him, but…
我很难过你失去了你父亲。 嗨，听着，我知道你有一颗崇高的心。
I’m sorry you lost him. Hey, listen, I know you got a great heart.
你只是光去注意人们的外表了。
You’re just fixated on the outside appearances of people.
哈尔·拉森，我要给你帮助。 – 真的？
Hal Larson, I’m gonna do you a great favour. – Really?
是这样的，从现在起，不论什么时候， 你将来所遇到的人
This is how it’ll work. From this moment on, whenever you meet someone in the future,
你只是看到她们的内心。
you’re only gonna see what’s inside them.
于是，你会作出反应，因为那样，我的朋友， 才是真正的美丽所在。
So you’ll respond to that, because that, my friend, is where the true beauty lies.
好的，托尼，我想你有一点幽闭症吧。
OK, Tony, I think you’re getting a little cabin fever.
等等，如果我告诉你怎样做，
Hold on. What if I told you by doing this,
你会拥有世界上最美丽的女人 而且他们也会拥有你。
you could have the most beautiful women in the world and they’d want you?
就想你在你的研讨会上所做的那样吗？ – 不，不，这是非常特殊的。
Is this like what you do in your seminars? – No, no, this is very special.
仅仅只在你我之间。让我们站起来， 然后我会告诉你怎么做。
This is just between you and me. Let’s get up and I’ll show you what to do.
现在，你看女人的方式 是从外表去评价她们。
Now, you got a pattern of looking at women and judging them by the exterior.
我们要打破这种方式 有没有这样的经历
We gotta break that pattern. So has there been a time
当你特别肤浅的看一个女人时 你觉得很好。
when you were especially shallow with a woman, where you thought you were better?
我一直这样。 – 一直这样。
All the time. – All the time.
有没有这样一次特殊的经历， 你真的觉得你很肤浅的看女人呢？
Is there one specific time where you were really shallow?
噢，是的，我想起一次。 – 想着它。
Oh, yeah, I got one. – Think about that.
魔鬼，出来！
Devils, come out!
你到底要干什么？你的大手？ – 坚持住。
What the hell are you doin’, banana hands? – Just hang on.
我要震动你的神经系统。 – 噢，是的，对不起。
We gottajolt your nervous system. – Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.
这不仅仅只是说说 这就是我要你做的，只要放松一会。
It’s notjust talking about it. Here’s what I want you to do. Just relax for a moment.
我不会再那样做了。 – 我不是说“香蕉手”。
I won’t do that again. – I didn’t mean the “banana hands” thing.
闭上眼睛，放松，然后我要你 想像自己在一个海滩上。
Close your eyes. Just relax. And I want you to imagine that you’re on a beach.
这是个温暖的日子 太阳刚刚开始出来。
It’s a warm day and the sun is just starting to set.
然后你看着一个女人的眼睛 然后感受她的心灵。
And you’re looking in the eyes of a woman, and you’re feeling her heart.
你看着她的灵魂。
You’re seeing her soul.
你感受着她的精神。
You’re feeling her spirit.
就这样，就这样。
That’s it. That’s it.
好极了，好极了。
Excellent. Excellent.
的士！
Taxi!
哦。
对不起，我…我以为…
I’m sorry. I thought that…
不，是我的错，我没有看见你。 这是你叫的车，我搭下一部。
No, it’s my fault. I didn’t see you. This is your cab. I’m gonna get the next cab.
好的。 – 好的。
OK. – All right.
瞧，我正好…我正好要到东边去。
Look, I’m just headed over to the East Side.
你想一起吗，还是…？ – 好啊！
Do you wanna share, or…? – Yeah!
好吧，让我们一起上吧。 那么，谢谢你，太好了。
Yeah, let’s take this one. So, awesome. Thank you. Terrific.
到哪去？ – 我到东边的购物中心，
Where to? – East Side Plaza for me, please.
一样的。
Likewise.
什么？ – 哦，嗯？对不起，我正好…
What? – Oh. Huh? Sorry. I just…
我的意思是，是啊，你…你真漂亮。
I mean, yeah, you’re really pretty.
啊？是啊，这个城市的每个人 都这么喜欢奉承人吗？
Yeah, right. Jeez, is everybody in this city so flattering?
我看出你不是这儿的。 你从哪里来？
I figured you weren’t from around here. Where you from?
波士顿 – 大豆城
Boston. – Bean Town.
会奏乐的果实。
The musical fruit.
你吃得越多，你吹奏得…越响(暗指打屁)。
The more you eat, the more you toot.
那么，你到这来是拍照或什么？
So, are you here on a shoot or something?
拍照？ – 我的意思是，你一定是模特，对吗？
A shoot? – I mean, you must be a model, right?
我的奶奶身体不太好， 所以我从学校休学一年照顾她。
My grandmother’s not doing so well, so I took a year off from school to help her out.
哦，照顾奶奶，真好啊。
Oh. Helping granny. Cool.
谢谢。 – 是的。
Thanks. – Yeah.
再见。
Bye.
很高兴搭顺风车。
So, nice catchin’ up.
听着，嗯…我知道你可能认为我有点古怪， 但是，嗯…
Listen, um… I know you’ll probably think I’m some kind of wacko for asking, but…
什么？
What?
你还在这里时 我的意思是，你知道…
Well, while you’re here in town, I mean, you know…
如果你想在照顾奶奶的空隙时， 想抽空休息一会，
if you ever feel like taking a break from hangin’ out with your old sick granny,
我们能否…
you know, we could…
当然，我的意思是… – 真的？
Sure. I mean… – Really?
你开玩笑吗？是的，那是…
Are you kidding? Yeah! That’d be…
我很高兴去，如果…
I would absolutely love to, if…
好的，那么我想要你的电♥话♥号♥码，
OK, yeah. I should get your number, then.
不，不，我要你的号♥码，因为…
No, no. I’ll get yours, because it would…
你会丢了我的号♥码的，所以… – 哦，我知道了。
With my luck, you’ll lose mine, so… – Oh. I get it.
非常有趣，你要我的号♥码， 那…，不，那很好
Very funny. You got me. That was… No, that was good.
你本可以说不，但你为什么要这样呢？ 太让人不舒服了。
You could’ve just said no, but you went the extra mile. That was harsh.
我不要这样。 – 嗯…
I don’t need this shit.
什么？
What?
我…我真的想要你的电♥话♥号♥码。 – 哦，我很抱歉。
I do want your number. – Oh, I’m sorry!
我不知道…不知该怎么说。 我在乱说…
I don’t know what… That was dumb. I was saying something…
我以为你…不介意。是的，是的。
I thought you meant… Never mind. Yes. Yes.
这是我的电♥话♥号♥码。这是我的电子邮件。
Here’s my phone number, and here’s my email.