性、谎言和录像带

她回来了 再见
She’s home. Bye-bye.
一切都好 谢谢 再见
Everything’s fine. Thanks. Bye.
感谢上帝 你让我担心死了
Thank God. You had me worried sick.
回家以后 门开着 车也不见了
I come home, the door is open, the car is gone.
我还以为你被哪个变♥态♥绑♥架♥了
I thought you’d been abducted by some mad fucker.
-你还好吗 -我想结束这段婚姻
– Are you all right? – I want out of this marriage.
什么
What?
我想 结束 这段婚姻
I… want… out… of this marriage.
为什么
Why?
为什么
Why?
你还问我为什么
You’re asking me why?
我跟你结婚了 你却想离婚
I’m married to you and you want out of this marriage.
至少你能告诉我原因吧
I think you could tell me that.
他妈的 操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you. Fuck you.
好吧
All right.
-能告诉我你去哪了吗 -四处转转
– Can you tell me where you went? – I drove around.
-然后去了格兰姆家 -格兰姆家
– Then I went over to Graham’s. – Graham’s?
格兰姆
Graham.
这个狗♥杂♥种♥
Goddamn that son of a bitch!
这个卑鄙无♥耻♥的狗杂…还正直先生呢
The backstabbin’ son of a… Oh, Mr. Honesty, huh?
还真理的信徒呢
Mr. Apostle of Truth!
我知道你没和他做
Well, I know you didn’t fuck him.
你也拍那些该死的录像了吗
Did you make one of these goddamn videotapes?
安妮 回答我 该死的
Annie… answer me, goddammit.
该死的 回答我 拍了吗
Goddammit, answer me. Did you?
没错 我拍了
Yes, I did.
上帝啊
God!
你敢动他试试看
Don’t you touch him!
好 我要…
OK. I’m gonna…
什么
What?
有人吗
Hello?
约翰 你怎么在这里 你干什么
John? What the hell are you doing here? What are you doing?
安 1988年8月22日
好的 我开始录了
OK, I’m recording.
告诉我你的名字
Tell me your name.
安·贝肖普·马拉尼
Ann Bishop Millaney.
你想聊些什么
So, what do you wanna talk about?
-你们一般聊什么 -性
– What do you usually talk about? – Sex.
好啊 那我们就聊聊♥性♥
OK. Let’s talk about sex.
你最近有做♥爱♥吗
Do you have sex?
不经常
Not very often, no.
那你做♥爱♥时 通常是谁先开始的
When you do, who usually initiates it?
他
He does.
你对你们之间的性生活满意吗
Is the sex satisfying?
不知道
I don’t know.
不知道 我不知道你是什么意思
I don’t know. I don’t know what you mean.
你有过性高♥潮♥吗
Do you have orgasms?
我想没有
I don’t think so.
我是说 既然我都不知道 那应该没有过
I mean, I guess, since I’m not sure, that I’ve never had one.
你有没有想过要
Have you ever thought about having sex
和除你丈夫以外的男人做♥爱♥
with someone other than your husband?
好戏来了
Here we go.
好戏来了
Here we go.
-我们不聊了吧 -不行
– Why don’t we stop? – No.
我想继续录下去
I don’t wanna stop.
你有没有想过要
Have you ever thought about having sex
和除你丈夫以外的男人做♥爱♥
with someone other than your husband?
我曾经想过
I’ve thought about it.
-你付诸行动了吗 -没有
– Did you act on it? – No.
为什么没有
Why not?
因为辛西娅才会这么想
Because that’s how Cynthia thinks.
我很讨厌自己和她有相同的感觉
I hate it when I have feelings that she has.
我一想到男人就会很苦恼
It bothers me when I think about men,
因为我知道她才会这么想
because I know that’s the way she thinks.
你想到过哪些男人呢
What other men have you thought about?
我想到过你
I thought about you.
-你想到过我吗 -想到过
– Have you thought about me? – Yes.
想我什么
What did you think?
想象你高♥潮♥的时候是什么样子
I thought about what you would look like having an orgasm.
我也想知道我高♥潮♥时会是什么样
I’d like to know what I look like havin’ an orgasm.
你可以给女人高♥潮♥吗
Can you do that? Give a woman an orgasm?
可以
Yes.
你能给我高♥潮♥吗
Could you do that for me?
-不能 -为什么呢
– No. – Why not?
因为我不能这么做
Because I can’t.
-不能还是不想 -因为不想 所以不能
– Can’t or won’t? – I can’t because I won’t.
你说过你并非总是阳痿的
You said you weren’t always impotent.
当然 没错
No. Yeah, that’s correct.
-这么说你做过爱 -是的
– So you have had sex. – Yes.
那怎么了 是太糟导致你不举的吗
So, what happened? Was it so bad it turned you off, or…?
不是的 不是那问题
No, that wasn’t the problem.
那是什么问题
What was the problem?
问题在于我自己
I was the problem. I was a…
我曾经是个病态的骗子
I was a pathological liar.
或者我应该说现在也是
Or I am, I should say.
说谎这件事…
The lying is…
就像酗酒 总是好了伤疤忘了疼
Lying is like alcoholism, you’re continually recovering.
就这些吗
So that’s it?
你说了谎
You lied?
-这只是一部分 -那其他的呢
– That was part of it. – So, what else happened?
那时候 我…
Well, at that time, uh… I…
我总是用非语言地方式表达自己的情绪
I used to express my feelings nonverbally,
常常吓坏那些
and often scared people
与我亲近的人
that were close to me.
你现在还这样吗
Are you still like that?
不了
No.
不会了
No.
所以你再也不打算做♥爱♥了是吗
So you’re never gonna make love again?
我没想过这些
I don’t… I haven’t made any plans, so…
如果你当时爱的是我
If you were in love with me,
-你还会说谎吗 -我没有爱上你
– would you? – I’m not in love with you.
-设想一下 -我没法回答
– But if you were? – I can’t answer that.
-为什么不行 -我告诉过你
– Why not? – I told you.
可我还不明白
But I don’t understand.
安 撇开性♥爱♥不谈
Ann, forget about the sex, you know? I…
我根本不是原来那个人了
I’m not the same person that I was… even remotely, you know.
在许多方面我都有了很大的变化
I’m different in so many ways.
这对我与他人
It’d have a profound effect on
相处 沟通的方式有很大的影响
the way that I relate to other people, communicate.
就比如说 让我和她这样聊天
This, for instance. The way she and I are talking,
换做以前是根本不可能的
it could never have been possible.
她 让我和她这样聊天
“She”? “The way she… she and I are talking”?
-她 她是谁 -对不起
– “She”? Who’s “She”? – I’m sorry, I was…
我要说的不是…
That isn’t what I was…
她是指伊丽莎白吗
She’s Elizabeth? Is that who it is?
是约翰说过的那个女孩吗 是她吗
Is that the girl that John talked about? Is that who it is?
我猜是吧 不好意思
I guess. I… I’m sorry.
你现在和她还有联♥系♥吗
So, you’re still in contact with her?
-和伊丽莎白 -没有
– With Elizabeth? – No. I’m…
你觉得伊丽莎白
What do you think Elizabeth
会怎么看待这些录像带
is gonna think about all these videotapes?
我想她应该不会太通情达理吧
I can’t imagine her bein’ too understanding.
可你还是会告诉她的 是吧
But you’re gonna tell her about them, right,
因为你不再说谎了
since you don’t lie any more?
我说过了 我不知道我会怎么办
As I said, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, exactly.
也许我什么都不会做
I mean… perhaps I won’t do anything. I don’t…
你回到这里是为了让自己考虑清楚吗
So, you just came back here so that you could think about it?
不是 我搬回来是为了
No, I moved back here for some…
寻求一种完结
a sense of closure, you know?
表达决心之类的
Resolution of some sort.
我希望那个对我