天翻地覆（2001）

上次我坐这个沙发，我的屁♥股♥有一週是橙色的
The last time I sat on this couch，my butt was orange for a week.
把你那该死的沙发搬离开这裡 我一开始就不想要它
Take your dang couch out of here. I didn’t want it in the first place.
我没有地方放它
I don’t have space for it.
我在前厅教瑜珈功
I’m teaching yoga in the front room.
我不想听有关你教瑜珈
I don’t want to hear about you teaching yoga.
你甚至连一个瑜珈动作都不知道
You don’t even know one yoga move.
我能用我的屁♥股♥捡起一张五美元的纸币
I can pick a five dollar bill up with my butt.
你不能 给我五美元
You cannot. Give me five dollars.
我想看看这个
I want to see this.
你会看到的，宝贝，你会看到的
You’re gonna see it，baby. You’ re gonna see it.
看着 Watch this.
好的 Okay.
好了，我被卡住了
All right，I’m stuck.
你没事吧？快来把我推下去 推我一把
You all right? Just come push me over. Push me.
仅仅推我 仅仅往右边推我
Just push me. Just push me to the right.
嘿，嘿，小心点沙发，宝贝
Hey，hey，watch the couch，baby.
好了，拜託，老兄
All right，come on，man.
是的，我要去看足球比赛 你知道我已经准备好了！
Yes，I’m gonna watch football. You know I’m ready!
是的，我要去看橄榄球比赛！
Yeah，I’m gonna watch some football!
马圭而小姐，我有人在这裡 你现在必须下来
Miss Maguire，I have people here. You must come down now.
马圭而小姐，我有人在这裡 你现在必须下来
Miss Maguire，I have people here. You must come down now.
嘿，你在叫嚷什麽？
Hey，what are you yelling about?
你叫她现在下来，因为我们要去机场
You tell her to come down now，because we are leaving to the airport.
她动作太慢了
She’s so slow.
你要去哪，伙计？哪儿也不去，伙计
Where you going，man? Nowhere，man.
嘿，老兄，高登！唷，唷！
Hey，man! Gordon! Yo，yo!
你介意吗?Do you mind?
你照顾不了我给你的仓鼠
You can’t take care of the hamster I gave you.
你能对一个女人做些什麽呢？拜託，老兄，让我来做这个吧!
What you gonna do with a woman? Come on，man，let me do this.
那就去处理你的事吧!
Go handle your business then.
有什麽事吗?，斯蒂芬妮？
What’s up，Steph?
我因公出差而保姆迟到了
I’m going away on business and the babysitter’s late.
半小时前，她就说过10分钟到
She said she’d be here in ten minutes，30 minutes ago.
好了，冷静点 没关係的 超级高登在此
Okay，calm down. It’s okay. Super G’s here.
噢，老天，我希望这是你，黛斯
Oh，God，I hope this is you，Daisy.
喂？黛斯！Hello? Daisy!
你十分钟后会到这裡？如果你不来这裡，我就错过我的飞机了！
You’ll be here in ten minutes? If you don’t get here，I’ll miss my plane!
我会照看着詹姆斯，直到黛斯来到这裡
I’ll watch James until Daisy gets here.
我不认为(那是个好主意)
I don’t think that’s
黛斯! 是的，我是高登
Daisy! Yeah，it’s Gordon.
快过来，姑娘，快！
Get your butt over here，girl，fast!
就是这样 There you go.
这不是个好主意 你没有任何照看小孩的经验
This isn’t a good idea. You don’t know anything about children.
就10分钟 他会怎麽做，渐渐失去水分而变乾？
It’s ten minutes. What’s he going to do，dry out?
来吧，我们休息一下，喝几杯啤酒，蛤？
Come on，we’ll kick back，have a couple of beers，huh?
好的，一杯啤酒
Okay，one beer.
你有生意要处理 放轻鬆点，一切都会好起来的
You got business to take care of. Just relax，it’s gonna be fine.
我会盯着詹姆斯的，而詹姆斯会盯着我的
I’ll keep an eye on James and James’ll keep an eye on me.
黛斯在路上，，所以高登会照看你几分钟
Daisy is on her way，so Gordon’s gonna watch you for a few minutes.
你没问题吧？
Are you okay with that?
走吧！好的，好的
Let’s go! Okay，okay.
快走！现在就走！
Move it! Move it now!
这事很重要 提醒黛西一定要检查食物金字塔
This is important. Remind Daisy to always check the food pyramid.
这是詹姆斯可以看的电视节目单和时间，一天只能看一个小时，不许看PG级节目
This is a list of what he can watch and when，only an hour a day，no PG.
不许打电动游戏，好吗?
No video games，all right?
噢，而且你必须确保黛斯带詹姆斯去练习钢琴和足球
Oh，and you’ve got to make sure that she takes him to piano and soccer.
听着，都在日程表裡了
Look，it’s all in the schedule.
所有绿色阴影区域是所有的自♥由♥活动时间
All the shaded green areas are all freeplay time.
黛西知道这一切，对吧？她已经照看了詹姆斯两年了
Daisy knows all this，right? She’s been watching him for two years.
对 你是对的 好吧!
Right. You’re right. Okay.
妈妈明天就回来，而当妈妈不在的时候你该听谁的话？
Mommy will be home tomorrow，and when Mommy’s away who do we listen to?
黛斯 对 而且记住，遵守
Daisy. Right. And remember，follow .
“遵守规则，而游戏时间也会随之而来”
” Follow the rules and playtime will follow. ”
明白了 Got it.
我爱你 I love you.
高登，你真是个救急的人 是啊，五种口味都有
Gordon，you’ re a lifesaver. Yeah，all five flavors.
所有人都在等你呢！
All people waiting for you!
别罗囉嗦嗦了 各位，请繫好安全带!
Don’t make smoochiesmoochie. Everybody，put on seat belts!
好了，开始了！跑，宝贝，快跑!
All right，there it goes! Run，baby，run!
狠狠揍他一顿！
Knock him on his ass!
我的错 把他打倒在地！
My bad. Knock him to the asphalt!
把他摔在沥青上!
Knock him to the asphalt!
真希望那保姆快点来，那样我们就能去看大屏幕了
I hope the babysitter gets here soon so we can go to the big screen.
我知道 I know.
喂? 黛斯，是的，我是高登，你在哪裡？
Hello? Daisy，yeah，it’s Gordon. Where are you?
你什麽意思，你不能来了？
What do you mean，you can’t come?
球赛已经开始了 你给我马上过来
The game’s on. Get your butt over here.
食物中毒？Food poisoning?
黛斯，听着，你在这不会食物中毒的
Daisy，listen，you can have food poisoning over here
和詹姆斯一起
With James.
我不懂你在说什麽
I don’t understand what you’ re saying.
我想她不会来了
I don’t think she’s coming.
别担心 Don’t worry.
你妈妈明天就回来了，而且班尼会和我们一起的
Your mom’ll be back tomorrow，and Benny will hang with us.
你自己做得很好
You’re hanging yourself fine.
记住，如果他被什麽吓到了，或者哭了
Remember，if he gets scared，cries
或者把内♥裤♥弄髒了，打电♥话♥给我
Or messes his drawers，give me a call.
班尼，他会没事的
Benny，he’s gonna be fine.
我不是和你说话，我是在跟他说
I wasn’t talking to you，I was talking to him.
詹姆斯，如果他待在浴室裡超过5分钟
James，if he goes to the bathroom longer than five minutes
点一根火柴
Light a match.
我要去看大屏幕了！你得靠你自己了，小狗！
I’ll be watching the big screen! You’ re on your own，dog!
那并不好笑 班尼!
That ain’t funny. Benny!
我饿了 I’m hungry.
很好 好的，食物，我可以做
Good. Okay，food，I could do that.
来吧，小子 我现在不能吃早餐
Come on，kid. I can’t have breakfast now.
为什麽？现在是晚餐时间
Why not? It’s dinnertime.
那又如何？So?
我不知道这个
I don’t know about this.
你妈妈不给你打扫卫生吗?
Doesn’t your mommy make you clean?
偶尔地，我会一把火烧光所有的而再重新来过
Occasionally，I take a flamethrower to it and start all over again.
那是什麽气味？
What’s that smell?
那是男人的气味
That’s the smell of a man.
男人的住处闻起来就是这样
It’s what a man’s place smells like.
但是 听着 到这裡来
But listen. Come over here.
我们得複习一下这裡的规则 仔细听着
We gotta go over some rules here. Listen carefully.
这是我的东西
This is my stuff.
看着它 Look at it.
这很漂亮 这是500瓦的杜比数位音响
It’s beautiful. It’s 500 watts of Dolby digital sound.
立体声，收音机，DVD机 动力的颠峰！
Stereo，receiver，DVD player. The tower of power!
看过来 Check it out.
不许碰它
Don’t touch it.
你听到了吗?你能感觉到吗?，宝贝?
You hear that? Can you feel it，baby?
说，”别碰高登的东西” 别碰高登的东西
Say，” Don’t touch Gordon’s stuff. ” Don’t touch Gordon’s stuff.
我们会相处得很愉快的
We’ re gonna get along just fine.
我们开始吃吧!
Here we go.
一些天然的全糠穀物，就像饮食指南上说的
Some natural wholebran cereal，just like the chart says
再来一点豆奶
And some soy milk.
等一下，等一下
Hold it now，hold it now.
别忘了你的梅乾
Can’t forget your prunes.
好了，开始津津有味地吃
All right，dig in.
你妈妈有说过我任何事吗? 我听到她和黛斯说起过
Your mom ever say anything about me? I heard her with Daisy.
偷听你妈妈的对话，蛤？那很好
Listening in to your mom’s conversations，huh? That’s good.
她说了什麽？她说你很滑稽
What’d she say? She said that you’ re funny.
滑稽？滑稽，那很好
Funny? Funny，that’s good.
对，我们喜欢滑稽
Yeah，we like funny.
还说了别的吗?你是不负责任的
What else? That you’ re irresponsible.
不负责任？Irresponsible?
不负责任，浪费你的时间
Irresponsible，waste your time
而且你只想要一样东西
And you only want one thing.
噢，而且你有点烦扰
Oh，and you’ re some kind of hound.
她这麽说的？
She said that?
她让你在这裡吃什麽？
What’s she got you eating here?
不错 It’s good.
你怎麽能吃得下那个呢？
How can you eat that?
“不加糖”？而他们对此感到骄傲？
“No sugar added”? And they’ re proud of that?
我想跟你说说我认识的这个人 他的名字叫嘎吱船长
I want to tell you about this man I know. His name’s Cap’n Crunch.
他也有一些朋友
He’s got some friends too.