惊声尖叫

就像《坏种》那样
Like “The Bad Seed” or somethin’.
我知道这听上去荒唐
And I know- I know it doesn’t make sense.
不荒唐
Yeah, it does.
就像《沉默的羔羊》里的朱迪·福斯特
It’s like Jodie Foster in “The Silence of the Lambs”…
她总看到她死去的父亲
when she keeps having flashbacks of her dead father.
但这是生活 不是电影
But this is life. This isn’t a movie.
就是 小希
Sure it is, Sid.
这就是一部电影 这都是
It’s all- It’s all a movie. It’s all…
一部大电影
one great big movie.
但你无法选择类型
Only you can’t pick your genre.
我为什么不能是一部梅格·瑞恩的电影
Why can’t I be a Meg Ryan movie?
或是一部好色情片
Or even a good porno.
-什么 -你没听错
– What? – You heard me.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
嗯
Yeah.
我想我确定
I think so.
看啊 就这里
Look, look, look. Here it comes.
天啊 血的颜色根本不对
Oh, man. The colour of the blood is all wrong!
他们为什么那么做 太鲜红了
Why do they do that? It’s too red!
等等 又来了 看着
Wait. Here comes another. Here it- Here it-
太棒了
Yes! Yes!
一猜就中 我就知道他要咬下去
Predictable. I knew he was gonna bite it.
这破玩意你们怎么能反复看
How can you watch this shit over and over?
什么时候露胸啊 我想看杰米·李的胸
When do we see breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee’s breasts.
-杰米·李什么时候露胸啊 -太棒了
– When do we see Jamie Lee’s breasts? – Yes. Yes.
胸
Breasts?
83年的《颠倒乾坤》里才有
Not until “Trading Places” in ’83.
杰米·李之前一直是恐怖片里的处♥女♥
Jamie Lee was always the virgin in horror movies.
她此前从未露过胸
She never showed her tits till she went legits.
-能做对儿不错的 -你说什么…
– Could afford a decent pair. – What did you-
所以她总能在最后的
That’s why she always outsmarted
追逐戏里躲过凶手
the killer in the big chase scene at the end.
只有处♥女♥能做到 你们不知道规则吗
Only virgins can do that. Don’t you know the rules?
-什么规则 -你不知道…
– What rules? – You don-
老天爷啊 你们不知道规则吗
Jesus Christ. You don’t know the rules?
别激动出脑动脉瘤了
Have an aneurysm, why don’t ya?
想要在恐怖片里活下来
There are certain rules that one must abide by
必须遵守一定的规则
in order to successfully survive a horror movie.
比如 第一 绝不能做♥爱♥
For instance, number one: You can never have sex.
-绝对不能 -那我死定了
– Big no-no! Big no-no! – I’d be a dead man.
做♥爱♥就死 好吗
Sex equals death. Okay?
二 绝对不可能喝酒或嗑药
Number two: You can never drink or do drugs.
不 这是罪孽
No, the sin factor.
这是罪 是第一条的延伸
It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one.
三 绝对绝对
And number three: Never, ever, ever…
无论如何不能说
under any circumstances say,
“我就回来” 因为你就回不来了
“I’ll be right back,” ’cause you won’t be back.
-我再去拿瓶啤酒 你要吗 -好啊
– I’m gettin’ another beer. You want one? – Yeah, sure.
我就回来
I’ll be right back!
你看 你不守规则 就会死翘翘
You see? You push the laws and you end up dead.
好吧 我拿刀跟你厨房♥见
Okay? I’ll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
只有处♥女♥能在最后的追逐戏里躲过凶手
Only virgins can outsmart the killer in the big chase scene at the end.
-你们不知道规则吗 -什么规则
– Don’t you know the rules? – What rules?
你们不知道规则吗
You don’t know the rules?
想要在恐怖片里活下来
There are certain rules that one must abide by
必须遵守一定的规则
in order to essentially survive a horror movie.
无聊
Boring.
-比如 -治安官刚刚用无线电通知我
– For instance- – The sheriff just radioed.
有人报案说前面灌木丛里看到一辆汽车
Somebody reported a car in the bushes down the road.
我要去看看
I’m gonna go check it out.
-想一起来吗 -好啊
– Would you care to join me? – I’d love to.
如果真的不要紧的话
If you’re sure it’s all right.
女士 我可是本镇的警官
Ma’am, I’m the deputy of this town.
就回来
Be right back.
等等 女士
W- Excuse me, ma’am.
我想一起走过去
I thought maybe we’d walk.
今晚天气这么好 而且我有手电
It’s such a nice night out. I got a flashlight.
-你不怕吧 -不
– You’re not scared, are ya? – No.
-好吧 -太好了
– All right. – Great.
你知道那个星座是什么吗
Do you know what that constellation is?
不 是什么
No. What is it?
我不知道啊 所以才问你
I don’t know. That’s why I was askin’ you.
泰滕姆呢 斯图
What happened to Tatum, Stu?
她大概是生我气 走掉了
She probably got pissed at me and bailed.
-再见 -再见
– Bye. – Bye.
开玩笑的 开玩笑
No, I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding.
看啊 每片必有的露胸镜头来了
Look! Here comes the obligatory tit shot!
-好棒 太好看了 -赞啊
– Yes! Oh! That was beautiful! – Lovely!
-天呐 -我就不打扰你们了
– Oh, my God. – I’ll leave you guys alone.
你真是
You are so…
太美了
amazing.
喂 嗯
Hello? Yeah?
我去
Holy shit.
不…
N- Ho-
听我说
Listen up.
他们发现了辛伯里校长的尸体
They found Principal Himbry dead.
拿起武器
To arms! To arms!
-你们…你们去哪 -他说他在哪
– Where are you guys -Where did he say he was?
橄榄球场地
At the football field!
-快走 -你们去哪啊
– Come on! – Where you guys goin’?
这才刚到精彩的地方
We were just gettin’ to the good part.
喂 嗯
Hello? Yeah?
你们去哪…
Where are you guys-
嘿吼 我们走喽
Heigh-ho, Silver! Let’s go!
-杜伊是你的真名吗 -不是 是杜伊特
– So, is- is Dewey your real name? – No, it’s Dwight.
杜伊特
Dwight?
-抱歉 -没事
– I’m sorry. – No, that’s all right.
杜伊这名字很久之前就叫上了
Dewey’s just somethin’ I got stuck with a long time ago.
我挺喜欢的
Well, I like it.
挺性感的
It’s sexy.
是吗
Sexy?
就是小镇的人瞧不起我而已
Ah, it’s just this town’s way of not takin’ me serious.
那盖尔·威瑟斯呢
What about Gale Weathers?
听着像是干气象的
Sounds like I’m a meteorologist or something.
大家把我视作电视新闻的反面典型
People treat me like I’m the antichrist of television journalism.
-我不觉得你有那么差劲 -是吗
– I don’t think you’re that bad. – No?
是啊
No.
我觉得那只是因为你有点喜欢我
I think that’s just ’cause you kinda like me.
他们开得好快 慢点的
They sure are comin’ fast. Slow down!
别动 跳
Freeze! Jump!
-对不起 你没事吧 -嗯
– I’m sorry. Are you okay? – Yeah.
抱歉 我在值勤
I’m sorry. I’m on duty.
那是你要找的吗
Is that what you’re looking for?
我找一辈子了
My whole life.
-该死 -怎么了
– Damn! – What?
-怎么了 -这是尼尔·普莱斯考特的车
– What is it? – This is Neil Prescott’s car.
-希德妮的爸爸 -是啊
– Sidney’s father? – Yeah.
天呐 他怎么在这儿
Jesus. What’s he doing here?
我们得回去
We gotta get back.
你没事吧
You okay?
嗯
Yeah.
嗯 我很好
Yeah, I’m fine.
-你打给了谁 -什么
– Who’d you call? – What?
就是…你被捕后 不是可以打一通电♥话♥吗
Well, I don’t know. When you’re arrested you’re allowed one phone call.
我就是想问问 你打给了谁
So I was just curious. Who’d you call?
我爸爸
Called my dad.
不对
No, um,
伯克治安官打给了你♥爸♥爸 我看见他了
Sheriff Burke called your dad. I saw him.
是啊 我打的时候没人接
Yeah, but when I called I didn’t get an answer.
你不会还觉得是我吧
You don’t still think it was me, do you?