歪小子斯科特对抗全世界（2010）

Actually, muchacho,
这杯才是放了豆奶的
I poured the soy in this cup.
花了我好大劲才把那杯想成是放豆奶的
But I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup.
就是 在我的脑子里当成是
You know, in my mind’s eye or whatever.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你刚喝了放奶的咖啡 宝贝
You just drank half-and-half, baby.
不许动 素食监督警♥察♥
Freeze! Vegan police!
素食监督警♥察♥
Vegan police!
托德·英格拉姆 你因为违反素食原则被捕了
Todd Ingram, you’re under arrest for veganity violation,
编码827 摄入加奶咖啡
code number 827, imbibement of half-and-half.
扯淡
That’s bullroar!
不素食者 剥夺素食超能力
No vegan diet, no vegan powers!
但这只是我的第一次违反
But it’s only my first offense.
我不是该有三次机会吗 我是说…
Don’t I get three strikes? I mean…
读出来
Take it.
2月1日中午12点27分
At 12:27 A.M. on February 1st,
你在知情前提下摄入冰激凌 [意大利语]
You knowingly ingested gelato.
冰激凌不是素食吗
Gelato isn’t vegan?
里面有奶和蛋 婊♥子♥
It’s milk and eggs, bitch.
4月4日晚上7点半
On April 4th, 7:30 P.M.,
你吃了一碟鸡肉干酪
you partook a plate of chicken parmesan.
鸡不是素食吗
Chicken isn’t vegan?
去除素食超能力射线准备 射击
The de-veganizing ray. Hit him.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
不 不要
No. No.
你曾经是个素食者
You once were a vegone,
但是现在你要变成速死者了
but now you will be gone.
速死者?
Vegone?
对不起
Sorry, I guess.
对不起?
Sorry?
你刚那么用力拿头把我男朋友给打没了
You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
你狠狠地伤了我的心 我想我们打平了
You kicked my heart in the ass, so I guess we’re even.
娜塔莉
Natalie.
娜塔莉? 没人再这样叫过我
Natalie? No one calls me that anymore.
或许他们该这么叫你
Maybe they should.
走吧
Let’s get out of here.
郑重声明一下 我现在觉得你很讨厌
For the record, I am so pissed off for you, right now.
闭嘴吧 朱莉
Shut the…up, Julie.
好吧
Okay.
我们还是要去那个私人派对的吧
We’re still going to the after-party, right?
我不确定还有那个派对了
I’m not sure there’s going to be much of a party.
我想那个乐队的三分之一刚刚被♥干♥掉了
I think a third of the band just went “poom. ”
真正的乐队从来不去他们自己的私人派对
Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties.
那里只有想要认识明星的绝望的人
Just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with the label guys.
那我们为什么…
Then why would we…oh.
尼尔 你绝望吗
Neil, you down?
斯科特 你去的 对吧
Scott, you’re in, right?
你要去吗
You wanna go?
我差点就死在那儿了
Well, I kind of almost died back there.
我没说我想去
I’m not saying I want to go.
我们完全可以去
Yeah. We can totally go.
你想让我做什么我就做什么
I’ll do whatever you want to do.
那我们走吧
So, let’s go.
我们真的不用来的
We really don’t have to go to this thing.
快要发作了
这派对说不定也很糟糕
It’ll probably be a bad scene all around.
不 我还好 只是…
No, I’m fine. it’s just…
只是…有点…
It’s just…well…
你就没跟一个不是大混♥蛋♥的人在一起过吗
Have you ever dated someone that wasn’t a total ass?
到目前为止 你就不是大混♥蛋♥
So far, you’re not a total ass.
那我是有点混♥蛋♥吗
But I’m part ass?
你是我所有男朋友里最善良的一个
If it makes you feel better,
这么说你会觉得好受点吗
you’re the nicest guy I’ve dated.
等等 这是好事吗
Wait, is that good?
这是我现在需要的
It’s what I need right now.
但不是以后需要的?
But not later?
斯科特 不是所有问题我都有答案
Scott, I don’t have all the answers, okay?
如果可以 我只想努力活在当下
I’d just like to try and live in the moment if I can.
我只是想活下去
I’d just like to live.
听着 我知道陶德对你来说是个坏消息
Look, I know Todd was bad news,
但难道恩维对我来说就不是坏消息吗
but are you saying Envy wasn’t?
我们都有包袱
We all have baggage.
但我的包袱不会每5分钟就跳出来想要杀我
Well, my baggage doesn’t try and kill me every five minutes.
你都干了些什么让你的前男友这么疯狂
What did you do to make your ex-boyfriend so insane?
-前男友们 -随便啦
– Exes. – Whatever.
没有不痛苦的分手 总有一方要受伤的
No break up is painless, somebody always gets hurt.
那你跟那个叫妮芙的女生呢 谁甩的谁
What about you and that girl, Knives? Who broke up with who?
我想是我甩的她
I believe I broke up with her.
那她对这没什么意见吗
And was she cool with that?
妮芙现在跟杨·尼尔在一起了 她没事了
Knives is with Young Neil now. She’s totally cool with it.
你确定?
You sure about that?
是的 在她这个年纪她算是很成熟的
Yeah, she’s very mature for her age.
我们是好聚好散
We had a very healthy breakup.
我们都想得开
We’re all peaches and gravy.
不
No!
那你和金呢
What about you and Kim?
我和金? 我都快不记得了
Me and Kim? I can barely remember.
那是高中的事了 她满脸雀斑
It was high school. She had freckles.
就这样?
That’s it?
是的 就这样结束了 我们都变了
Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
这真的就是你全部的故事?
That’s really the whole story?
好吧 为了和她在一起我不得不揍了个人
Okay, fine, I had to fight a guy to be with her. Okay?
我揍了个穿紫色衣服80英尺高
I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall,
疯疯癫癫的家伙
purple-suited dude
为了揍到他我不得不先打倒96个人
and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him.
他的眼神像闪电一样狠狠地撇向我
He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay?
结果我把他打得他妈都不认识他了
And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the earth.
这样你有没有感觉好点
Does that make you feel any better?
现在你是个大混♥蛋♥了 欢迎光临俱乐部
Well, now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
抱歉 我不该这样的
I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this.
别担心 我甚至不知道我该是什么样的
Hey, don’t worry. I don’t even know what I’m like anymore.
我想是你前男友这个问题搅乱了我的脑子
I think this ex-boyfriends thing is messing with my head.
-前男友们 -你干吗一直强调这个
– Exes. – Why do you keep saying that?
之前那个女的?
The girl from earlier?
-洛克希? -你认识她?
– Roxy? – You know this girl?
哥们 她认识我吗
Boy, does she know me.
她在说什么
What is she talking about?
他真的不知道吗
He really doesn’t know?
等等
Wait.
懂了
-你跟她? -只是一个过渡的伴
– You and her? – It was just a phase.
-只是一个过渡的伴? -你还有性♥伴♥侣♥?
– Just a phase? – You had a sexy phase?
那没有任何意义
It meant nothing.
我都不觉得那也算是一任
I didn’t think it would count.
没有任何意义?
It meant nothing?
我就是有点好奇
I was just a little bi-curious.
好吧 宝贝
Well, honey,
我可是有点火大啊
I’m a little bi-furious.
再试试看 小心我灭了你
Do that again and I will end you.
滚开 你这个倒戈的同性恋
Back off, hasbian.
如果吉登无法拥有你
If Gideon can’t have you,
也绝不会有另一个人
no one can.
我代表前男友纵队宣战
The league has spoken.
好啊 那就让吉登来我面前发♥骚♥啊
Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here.
现在你就等着被我踢出外太空吧
Because I’m about to kick yours out of the great white north.
华♥莱♥士♥?
Wallace?
我不是做梦吧
This is happening, right? Oh, yeah.
打她要害
Kick her in the balls.
等我把你大卸八块
I’m sending you back to Gideon
送回吉登身边 骚货
in a thousand pieces, you slag!
我死也不回去
I’d rather be dead than go back.
他叫人反胃 而你是个婊♥子♥