惊声尖笑4

我们不该被这样对待的
This is some shit up with which we will not put.
-俺同意 -我反对
– I’m for that. – I am against it.
这村子不是原来的样子了
This village isn’t what it used to be.
就在毁灭性的外星人攻击几小时后
Just hours after the devastating alien attack…
世界元首聚集在联♥合♥国♥
world leaders have gathered at the United Nations.
在这人类最黑暗的时刻
In this, mankind’s darkest hour…
人类同心同力
the human race has turned, as one…
寄希望于
to the wisdom and leadership
美国总统的智慧和领导才能
of the President of the United States.
女士们先生们 美国总统
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
你去吧
Go get ’em, tiger.
他们说的是你
They mean you, sir.
哦 当然
Oh, yes, of course.
那么 印度人 法国人 和教皇在一架飞机上
So… an Indian, a Frenchman and the Pope are all on a plane.
飞行员说”你们有人没割包皮吗”
The pilot says, “Hey, are any of you not circumcised?”
教皇就掀起袍子说
So the Pope lifts up his robe and says…
“闭嘴 笨蛋 你不会讲英语”
“Shut up, stupid. You don’t even speak English.”
以色列人让日本人睁开眼
The Israeli asked theJapanese guy to open his eyes…
但是日本人说”我没斜眼 你个犹太疯子”
but theJapanese man says, “I’m not squinting, you craxyJew.
你就是卖♥♥给我这便宜眼镜的人
You’re the one who sold me these cheap glasses.”
比利时人和一坨狗屎有什么区别
What’s the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit?
比利时人喝酒 但是狗屎气味不错
The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.
但 说点严肃的 我今天在这里
But, on a serious note, I’m here today at the, uh…
“UN”因为地球遭受攻击
“un”… because the Earth has been attacked.
我很高兴报告我们已经发现了反击的办法
I’m happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back.
我在五角大楼的军事顾问
My military advisers at the Pentagram
可以完成不可能的任务
have managed to do the impossible.
他们已经缴获一把外星热射线枪
They have captured one of the alien heat ray guns.
你们知道 热射线毁掉身体 只留下衣服
As you know, the heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes.
我们的工程师成功地改变了 武器的极性
Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon
希望这样我们能
in the hopes that it can now be turned against
对抗外星侵略者
the alien invaders.
嗯 我在哪
Well, where was I?
是的 我们希望外星防护罩是脆弱的
Ah, yes. We expect that the alien shields will be vulnerable
挡不住这重新装配的武器
to this reconfigured weapon.
请安静
– People, please! Please! –
我知道这项新技术看上去吓人
Please, people. Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening…
但我相信这热枪
but I believe that deep down inside this heat cannon
是我们最好的机会
is our best chance.
我给你们演示一下
Let me give you a demonstration.
先看看这东西插♥进♥去没有
Now let’s see if this thing is plugged in.
里面很美观
Uh… it’s not a very pretty sight.
都松了 上下晃动
Everything’s loose and flapping around.
看看这粉色的小东西
Look at this little pink thing.
拿点润滑油来 在这多涂点
Someone get some lubricant, and we’ll slather it around in here.
这
There.
哈珀 天啊 这些人都裸体了
Harper. Good God, these people are all naked.
你不觉得羞耻吗 你不懂礼仪吗
Have you no shame? Have you no decency?
-先生 你也是裸体的 -是吗
– Sir, you’re naked, too. – I am?
-我以为这是有皱纹的皮革大衣 -先生
– I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat. – Sir!
-没有纽扣吗 -没有
– These aren’t buttons? – No!
我拉着这东西上上下下像拉链
I’ve been pulling this thing up and down like a xipper.
总统先生 这边
Mr. President, please.
又来了
There goes that duck again.
伙计 看见这红草了吗
Yo, man, you see this red weed?
没有
Nope.
爸 还要多久到妈那
Dad, how much further till Mom’s?
不知道
I don’t know.
我不知道还要抱着你妹妹多久
I’m not sure how much longer I can carry your sister.
我一直在走
I’ve been walking this entire time.
-那这他妈是谁 -我会付你钱的
– Then who the hell is- – I’ll pay you.
挨近点 雷切尔
Stay close, Rachel.
爸爸 看
– Dad, look! –
嘿 我要去帮忙
Hey! Hey! You guys! I want to help!
罗比 不要
Robbie! Oh, no.
别动 待在这 我马上回来
Don’t move. For God’s sake, stay right there. I’ll be right back!
嘿 我要去帮忙
Hey! Hey, you guys! I want to help.
厉害
Awesome!
-等等 -你疯了
– Wait! – Are you craxy?
不 他们要为我一半大学生活付出代价
No! They’ll pay for half my college.
杀啊
Kick ass.
罗比
Robbie!
-太好了 -你怎么了
– Yes! – What’s the matter with you?
嘿 看这家伙 真酷
Hey, look at that guy. This is so cool!
罗比 罗比
Robbie! Robbie!
雷切尔 雷切尔
Rachel! Rachel!
小女孩 你一个人
Little girl, are you alone?
你可以和我走
You need to come with me.
我会保护你的安全 对吧孩子们
I’ll keep you safe, right, kids?
嗯
Uh-uh.
-你又小♥弟♥弟♥吗 -离她远点
– Do you have a little brother? – Get away from her!
快跑 孩子们
Run away, kids!
如果不得不 向三脚架那边去
Toward the tripod, if you have to!
别走 我有观览车 大猩猩
Don’t go! I’ve got a Ferris wheel and a chimp…
还要大的软床 我们可以都上去
and a big, soft bed we can all get in.
不要
No, please!
不是我的真脸
Not my real face!
不是我的真脸
Not my real face!
不
No!
这边
Over here.
跟我到安全的地方去
Follow me to safety.
-哦 -跟我到安全的地方去
– Ow! – Follow me to safety.
-我不认识 -我对角色判断很有一套
– I don’t know about this. – I’m an excellent judge of character.
好
All right. Yeah.
就这样
That’s it.
哦 布伦达
Oh, Brenda.
太好了 你成功了
Yes! You did it!
你学做上好奶油很快啊
You have learned quickly and produced splendid butter.
你确定前面没搅过吗
Are you sure you have not churned before?
我们那里不叫”搅动”
Well, we don’t call it churning where I come from.
小BB
Pee-pee vagina.
快 进地下室
Quick! Into the cellar.
不
No!
这边是地下室 那边是污水池
This is the cellar. That’s the cesspool.
靠
Damn it!
快
Quick!
波波－波波－波波
Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy.
波波－波波－波波－波波
Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy.
嘿 你们不是怪物
Hey! You’re not monsters.
亨德森大妈
Old Lady Henderson?
还要大脸乔
And Pig-FaceJoe!
怎么回事
What happened?
是亨利
It is Henry.
他心脏病发作了
He has suffered a heart attack
由这把刀引起
brought on by this knife.
谁干的
Who did this?
是
It was… Exekiel.
亨利 你得去医院
Henry, you need a hospital.
还不是太晚 我们能救你
It’s not too late. We can help you.
也许你得从不压在刀上开始
Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife.
别管他 辛迪
Do not be concerned for him, Cindy.
我们已经派了最好的村民去弄药
We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines.
我要死了
I am so dead.
求求你 让我和辛迪和布伦达单独待一会
Please, leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda.
我有话告诉她们
I have much to tell them.
仔细听我说
Listen carefully to me.
我活不了多久了
I am not long for this world.
-脓包 -布伦达
– Pussy. – Brenda!
怎么 50分[歌♥手]被射中9次 还活着呢
What? 50 Cent got shot nine times. He’s still walking around.
告诉我 亨利 谁杀了那孩子 是你吗
Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy? Was it you?