惊声尖笑4

好吧
Okay, fine.
-不 等我 -还是锁着
– No, wait for me to- – Still locked.
-为什么你总是要同时间去开呢 -你说什么呢
– Why are you reaching at the same time? – What do you mean?
-好吧 我数三下 -你要数了吗
– All right, on three. – You counting now?
一 二 三 开门
One, two, three, open the door!
-好 到三 -一 二
– Okay, on three. – One, two-
三
Three.
-不要这样 你快把我弄烦了 -还是锁着
– Don’t do that. You’re trying to annoy me. – It’s still locked.
我来数三下 一 二
I’m going on three. One, two-
别在我数的时候数 我会受影响
Don’t count when I count. I have a problem with that.
-你到底在干什么 -把头转过去
– What’s the matter with you? – Turn your mouth sideways.
-你看着我我没法数 -你在说什么
– If you look at me I lose count. – What are you craxy?
-一 二 三 -二 三
– One, two, three! – Two, three!
-别同时跟我做 -你说了三
– Don’t do it the same time. – You said “three.”
-那你就在数四的时候吧 你会数数吗 -四
– You go on “four.” Can you count? – Four.
-是你的三还是我的四 -只有一个三
– So on your “three” or my “four”? – There’s only one “three.”
-我只想要进来 -那就在数四的时候做
– I’m tryin’ to get in the car. – Then you do it on “four.”
你说三的 到底是你在三的时候做还是我在二的时候做
You said, “three.” So are you doin’ it on “three” or am I doin’ it on “two”?
-我的天哪 -我听见三了
– For Christ’s sake! – I heard “three.”
如果我数三下 你就应该在四的时候做
If the count is “three,” you do it on “four.”
-现在是四了 -你为什么要四
– Now it’s “four.” – Why would you go on “four”?
是你先给我四的 现在你又要把它拿走
You gave me “four” first and you stole my “four.”
-但我要先数三 -你偷了我的四
– But I have to count to “three” first. – You stole my “four.”
-总之让我说三 -我要等你对吧
-Just let me say “three.” – I’ve got wait on you now, huh?
-你还想让黑人等着 -随你的变
– You want the black man to wait again? – Do whatever you want.
-我一直都在做 -你为什么要这样
– That’s what I’ve been doin’. – Why would you do that?
你为什么要在我数三的时候做 这是问题的关键
Why would you reach for it when I say “three”? That’s what this is about.
我还是在四的时候做吗
Do I still go on “four”?
我说三的时候 不要管四
When I say “three,” don’t worry about “four.”
你可以慢慢来
You got all the time in the world!
你可以回家 看看电视 然后再回来开门
You can go home, watch television and come back and then open the door!
-好吧 -一
– Fine. – One-
不 不要一了 我投降 谢谢了
No. No “one.” I’m out. No thank you.
我坐下一辆 可以吗
I’ll take the next one. Does that work for you?
-天哪 -态度有问题
-Jesus. – Attitude.
说真的 我宁愿去死
Seriously, I’d rather be dead.
一个女孩有一只宠物小鸭
“A girl had a pet duck.
她时常照料和喂养着它
“She fed and took care of her pet duck.
但是有一天 那鸭子不见了
“But one day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl.
那鸭子在路上一直跑
“The duck ran down the road and kept running…
直到它找到一个池塘
until he found a pond.”
总统先生 我们接到消息
Mr. President, we’ve just received word…
星球正遭受攻击
the planet is under attack by aliens.
哦 好的
Oh. Okay.
那鸭子回去
“The duck went back”-
先生 他们已经摧毁了我们的一些城市
Sir? They’ve already wiped out some of our cities.
如果我们再不行动的话 我们就会被打败
If nothing is done, they’ll kill us all.
我知道了 我等下会处理的
I see. Well, I’ll handle that in a minute.
但现在 我要知道那些鸭子怎么了
But right now, I need to find out what’s happening with the duck.
先生 现在过去的每一秒里 都有人在死亡
Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die.
人总会死的
The people are gonna die regardless…
但那鸭子还有机会
but this duck still has a fighting chance.
我读过这故事 总统先生
I’ve read the story before, Mr. President.
那鸭子死了
The duck dies.
我的天哪 这太恐怖了
My God! That’s horrible.
总统先生 那些外星人 我们正遭受攻击
Mr. President, the aliens? We’re under attack.
你是说现在这些孩子的父母都有可能被杀
You mean, right now all of these children’s parents could be dead?
孩子们
Kids! Kids, please!
这不像看起来那么糟
It’s not as bad as it seems.
他们并不是独自死的
They didn’t die alone.
我想他们一定跟你们爱着的其他人一起死的
I’m sure they died with all the other people you loved.
你是说圣诞老人吗
Even Santa Claus?
不 当然不是 根本就没有圣诞老人
No, of course not. There’s no such thing as Santa Claus.
就像牙仙一样 都是编造出来的
Just like the Tooth Fairy, completely made up.
复活节小兔子 从来就没有
Easter Bunny- Never existed.
女性高♥潮♥
The female orgasm.
根本不可能找到
Wait and see what happens when you try to find it.
怎么了 你父母想要离婚吗
What’s wrong? Your parents all getting divorces?
我可以给他们一点建议 如果你们想的话
I can give them a little advice, if you’d like.
哦 我忘了 他们都已经死了
Oh, I forgot. They’re all dead.
好了 我们来下一个故事”割去包皮”
All right now, let’s go on to another story, “Rumpelforeskin.”
“斯蒂尔斯基”先生 我们要尽快送你去白宫
“Stiltxkin,” sir. We have to get you to the White House.
我总是不懂那些孩子们
I just don’t get kids.
-记得让我签那些堕胎提案 -是的 先生
– Remind me to sign that abortion bill. – Yes, sir.
你可以从前门离开机舱
You may leave through the forward exit doors…
或是从两边的逃生门
or the gaping hole in the side of the plane.
我们知道你们有很多的选择
We realixe you have a choice in airlines…
欢迎你们乘坐南方海岸航♥空♥
and we appreciate you flying with Southern Coast Air.
-谢谢 -有人吗
– Thank you. – Hello?
嘿 那是我的 我找到的
Hey! That’s mine! I found it!
-辛迪 -布伦达
– Cindy? – Brenda?
哦 天哪 真的好久没见了
Oh, my God. It’s been so long.
是啊 太久了
Yeah, too long.
我以为你死了
I thought you were dead.
我也以为你死了
Oh, I thought you were dead, too.
你在这里干什么 你在这飞机上吗
What are you doing here? Were you on this plane?
不 我只是想找个好新闻
No, I’m trying to get a good story.
我现在是记者了 在附近的新闻社上班
I’m a reporter now. I work for the local news.
哇 看起来你干得不错
Wow, you’re really doing well for yourself.
我当时正有一个采访任务 看看这个
I was on assignment. Take a look at this.
这里是底特律
Here’s Detroit.
这是攻击后的底特律
And here’s Detroit after the attack.
哦 天哪
Oh, my God.
攻击力太强大了
The attack was devastating.
辛迪 人类已经输了这场战争
It’s over, Cindy. Humanity has lost the war.
不 不 还有机会的
No, no. There’s still hope.
我相信有人会有解决问题的答案的
I have reason to believe that there’s someone here that has the answers…
甚至还击的方法
maybe even a way for us to fight back.
来吧 这会是个好新闻的
Come on. It would make a great story.
也许吧 但我们怎么过去呢
Maybe. But how are we supposed to get there?
这些车都发动不起来
None of these cars work.
等等 也许这个会管用
Wait. See if this works.
嘿 我找到了纽约最后一辆能跑的车
Hey! I got the last working car in New York!
这里是我们的天下了 婊♥子♥们
This is our road, bitches! Ha-ha!
你说得没错 辛迪 这挺管用的
You’re right, Cindy. That worked pretty well.
我
I-
看看那些受伤的人
Look at all the injured.
太可怕了
It’s so sad.
真♥他♥妈♥的
Big-ass rat, man!
哦 这下水道真难修
Oh! That sewer took forever to fix!
我他妈的要去洗个热水澡
Man, I’m gonna need a hot bath after all of that-
这里他妈的到底发生了什么
What the hell happened here?
-僵尸 -妈的
– Zombies! – Damn!
我们走
Let’s go!
别让他们咬你
Don’t let ’em bite you!
好消息 他们能感觉到电流
Good news! They can still feel electricity.
奶奶 那些僵尸抓去了我奶奶
Grandma? The xombies have got my grandma!
去死吧 奶奶 去死 去死
Die, Grandma! Die! Die!
-我爱过你的 我爱过你的 -马哈里克
– I loved you! I loved you! – Mahalik?
看看他们对我奶奶所作的
Look what they did to my grandmama!
哇
Whoa!
那女人把我从小养大
That woman raised me from birth.
嘿 他有车 他有车
Hey, he’s got a car. He’s got a car.
把车跟钥匙给我们
Give us the car and the keys!
这不是我的车 如果是的话我会给你们的
This isn’t my car. I would, but I can’t. It’s not my car.
这不是我的车 别担心孩子们 车门都已经上锁了
It’s not my car. Don’t worry, kids. The doors are locked.
他们不可能可以
There’s no possible way they can-
把机器人从巧克力堆里拉出来 这是常识 哦 等等
Pull the robot out of chocolate. But that’s just common sense. Oh, waiter!
-爸爸 -孩子们
– Daddy! – Kids!
哇
Whoa!