惊声尖笑

All right, let’s get him in the water.
我做不到
I don’t think I can, Greg.
现在还不迟
It’s not too late.
闭嘴 好吗
Shut up, okay?
天啊 我动手
Christ, already. I’ll do it.
把他丢进水里就好 好吗
Just get him in the water. O.K?
一 二
One, two,
三
three.
现在我们达成协议
Right now we make a pact.
一辈子都谨守秘密
We take this to our grave.
-同意 -同意
-Agreed? -Agreed.
-同意 -同意
-Agreed? -Agreed.
说啊 辛蒂
Say it, Cindy.
说啊
Say it!
一辈子谨守秘密 说啊
We take this to our grave. Say it!
一辈子都谨守秘密 说啊
We take this to our grave. Say it.
说啊 格瑞 冷静
Greg, chill. Come on. You’re hurting her.
一辈子谨守秘密格瑞
We take this to our grave. Ow.
我们绝口不提
And we never mention this again.
不提什么
Mention what?
我们刚杀了一个人
The guy we just killed.
你刚刚就提了
Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.
从现在开始算
Starting now!
真是个蠢妞
Stupid bitch, man.
我恨他
God. I hate him.
不会有事的宝贝
It’s gonna be okay, baby.
不会有事的
It’s gonna be okay.
我保证 再摸一次
I promise. Just touch it again.
拜托
Come on. Please.
你要向前看 辛蒂
You have to move on, Cindy.
一切都过去了
That’s all behind us now.
没错 这是巧合
Exactly. It’s a coincidence.
格瑞说的对
Greg’s right, Cindy.
你以为我们在演恐怖片吗
I mean, what do you think we’re in, a horror movie?
你们说的对 如果是的话
Yeah, you guys are right. If we were,
也许演我的人
they’d probably cast some dingbat
会是个大♥波♥霸
like Jennifer Love Huge Tits to play me.
也许会找三十岁的
Yeah, or they’d cast people in their late twenties,
老演员来演
early thirties to play us.
摄影机准备 把我口香糖收好
Kenny, get the camera ready. Here. Hold my gum.
警长 请您讲几句话
Sheriff, Sheriff, can I get a statement?
无可奉告
No comment.
该死
Damn.
我跟谁搞才弄得到内♥幕♥消息
Who do I have to screw around here to get a stupid story?
别乱跑
Hey! Hey, no running.
笨蛋
Loser.
慢慢走
Slow it down!
咬我啊
Blow me!
好吧
All right!
我是新闻前线采访记者 海盖儿
Hi. Gail Hailstorm. Field Reporter, Hard Story.
特别警探阿呆
Special officer Doofy.
你好 阿呆
Oh, hi, Doofy.
阿呆 校园里出了什么事
Doofy, listen. Is there a problem on campus?
-无可奉告 -好吧
-No comment. -Okay.
-无可奉告 -好吧
-No comment. -Okay.
你真是个年轻有为的警探
You know, you look awfully young to be a police officer.
我二十五岁半了
I’m 25 and a half years old.
就这么大
Yeah, that’s this many.
真大
Ah, so big.
对 很大了
Yeah. That’s big.
你看来不过才十二岁
Well, you don’t look a day over 12.
但你的眼神可锐利了
Except for the big head and glazed-over look in your eyes.
那是口水吗
Ooh, was that drool?
对 我忘了吞下去了
Yeah. I forgot to swallow.
不用担心 我不会忘的
Don’t worry, cause I never forget.
提醒我别再搔你了
Would you remind me not to do that again?
抱歉
Sorry.
针对这场悲剧 警长和我
Due to the recent tragedy, the sheriff and me, your principal,
会开始询问所有的学生
will be questioning all students throughout the day.
看来似乎是有个
Wow. Sounds like we’ve got the makings of
连续杀人犯
a serial killer on our hands.
我不能说
Yeah, I’m not supposed to say.
这是警方事务
It’s official police business.
阿呆 你和我
Hey, Doofy, what do you say you and I
一起去车里
go inside my van over there…
互相认识一下吧
and, uh, get to know each other a little better?
怎么样
Would you like that?
-车里 -对 就是那辆车
-That van? -Yeah, that van right there.
好吧 我们走
Yeah, Yeah, okay, let’s go.
走吧
Come on.
这真是桩可怕的悲剧
Aterrible tragedy and an unbearable loss.
在这样的日子里 我们需要祷告
It’s days like today that we need prayer in school.
它已侵蚀我们的信念
It starts to unravel the very moral fabric of our society.
好了
Here you go, baby.
去找你♥爸♥吧
Go to your daddy.
下课后见
I’ll see you after class.
好了 同学们 谁要先报告
Okay, class, who would like to give their oral presentation first?
谁
Anybody?
还有谁
Anybody else?
好吧 希瑟
Okay, Heather.
-可以开始了吗 -可以
-Okay. Can I start? -Yeah.
我要报告的是第一修正案
Okay, my presentation is on the First Amendment.
这是1787年5月25日
And it began on May 25, 1787
华盛顿在费城推动的
in Philly with George Washington.
记录上说
And it states, and I quote,
我们的国父争论
“When our Founding Fathers argued
我国宪法的变迁
the passage of our glorious Constitution…”
我知道去年万圣节的事
不对 我是指你们杀了人
第一修正案给我们言论自♥由♥
The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want…
给我闭嘴
oh, shut the fuck up!
下一个是谁
So, who’s next?
坎 辛蒂
Uh, Cindy Campbell.
她是那个 谁的女儿吗
Isn’t she the daughter of, well, you know…
-对 就是她 性感的 -性感的
-oh, yeah, you know, old Mrs., uh… -old Mrs…
对唯一的
Yeah. Yeah, the one and only…
独一无二的
The one and only.
你好 辛蒂
Why, hello, Cindy.
校长好
Hi, Principal Squiggman.
谢了 阿呆
Thanks, Doofy.
我今天是特别警探阿呆
It’s Special officer Doofy today, Cind.
警长有些问题
Now, Cindy, Sheriffhas some questions
想问你
that he would like to ask you today.
什么鬼味道
What is that… god-awful smell?
不知道
I don’t know.
我大便了
I got a poopie.
你是说 你拉在裤子上了
Did you just say that you went poopie?
是啊 感觉很棒
Yeah. It was good.
-叫他出去 -好
-Get him out of here. -Yes.
-谢谢你阿呆 -好
-Thank you, Doofy. -okay.
你该回特殊教育班上课了
You should now go back to Special Ed.
好 敬礼
Okay. Salute.
顺便换条内♥裤♥吧
Maybe a change of underwear, son.
-拜 阿呆 -拜 辛蒂
-Bye, Doofy. -Bye, Cind.
-你好吗 辛蒂 -很好
-How are you, Cindy? -Fine.
你呢 警长
How are you, Sheriff?
发福又便秘
Bloated, constipated.
屁♥股♥上还长了疮 跟以往一样
Got a boil on my ass the size of a walnut. You know, the usual.
辛蒂 我想问你一些茱儿的事
Cindy, I want to ask you some questions about Drew Decker.
我跟她不熟
I didn’t really know her.
拜托 你很熟的
Oh, come on. Sure you do.
不 我跟她真的不熟