到也门钓鲑鱼（2011）

我已经做到了
and that I have done.
耽误了你的时间 切伍德·塔波特小姐
I thank you for your time, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
我先走了 告辞
I’ll see myself out. Goodbye.
谢谢
Thank you.
你收到我的邮件了吗
Did you get my e-mail?
收到了 关于什么的
Yes. What did it say?
不出所料 白费时间
Took the meeting. Waste of time, as predicted.
如果你没事的话 我要回去工作了
Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll get back to my work.
琼斯博士
Dr. Jones.
这是什么
What is this?
P45
P45.
抱歉 我不明白
I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t understand.
当雇主不再需要雇员时
Well, a P45 is the official document given to an employee
就会给他一份
when his services are no
这样的P45材料
longer required by his, or her, employer.
但是 伯纳德 我已经…
Yes, but, Bernard, this has got my…
或者你可以签署这份文件
Or you can sign this letter
表示你很乐意接手
stating that you are delighted to assign yourself, exclusively,
也门的鲑鱼项目
to the Yemeni salmon fishing project with immediate effect.
你自己选吧
It’s up to you.
可是 伯纳德
But, Bernard,
你知道你在开什么玩笑吗
you know as well as I do this thing is a bloody joke.
你明明知道没可能…
There’s no way you can get salmon that far up a…
那就选那个
Just there.
你这是在威胁我 撒丹 太过分了
This is blackmail, Sugden. This is a bloody outrage.
借调期间 由菲茨哈里斯&普莱斯
Fitzharris & Price will
支付你的薪水
be paying your salary while on secondment.
几乎是现在的两倍 这确实很过分
Almost double what it is now. I’d say that’s a bloody outrage.
两倍薪水? 你能让我考虑一下吗
Double? Can I have time to think about this?
不能
Nope.
-那借我用一下你的笔 -不可以
– Can I borrow your pen? – No.
这斜尖钢笔是我独有的
It’s my special one with the italic nib.
停下 停下 停下
Hold it, hold it. Hold it.
布莱恩 你第七小节是什么内容
Brian, what… What have you got in bar seven?
我应该辞职的
I should have resigned.
那可不值得
You can’t afford to resign.
这是原则问题
Matter of principle.
我是搞科学的 玛丽
I have a standing in the scientific community, Mary.
事关名誉
A reputation.
你还有按揭要还
You have a mortgage.
二 三 四
Two, three, four.
也许我应该辞职
Maybe I should resign.
我们还能要个孩子
We could have a baby.
为什么不这样呢 你继续工作
Why not? You could stay on at work
我去抚养孩子
and I could bring up the nipper.
我可以带他逛公园 去上学
I could take him to the park and to school.
我可以带他去钓鱼
I could take him fishing.
你说呢
What do you think?
他们在日内瓦已经全乱套了
They’re really losing the plot in Geneva.
前一秒还在买♥♥欧元
One minute they’re buying Euros,
下一秒就去炒美元了
the next minute they can’t ditch them fast enough for dollars.
他们慌了 想着怎么样才能脱离困境
They’re panicking, and guess who they want to bail them out.
我搞不懂这些
I can’t imagine.
请说指令
Say a command.
-闭嘴 -请说指令
– Shut up. – Say a command.
你们到底吵什么呢
What were you shouting about back there?
没什么
Nothing.
请说指令
Say a command.
天啊
Oh, Lord.
休息一会儿
Well, that should do you for a while.
谢谢你 玛丽
Thank you, Mary.
晚安
Good night.
晚安 亲爱的
Night, dear.
该死
Oh, Jesus.
早上好
Good morning.
明白
Yes, Staff.
我要走了
I’ve gotta go.
现在吗
Now?
是啊 刚打来电♥话♥叫
Yeah. That was the call.
对不起
Sorry.
是去阿富汗吗
Is it Afghanistan?
只知道是个沙漠区
It’s somewhere sandy, that’s for sure.
-我去拿些茶来 -不用了
– I’ll go get some tea. – No, look…
-不要 罗伯特 -不 过这儿来
– No, it’s all right, Robert. It’s… – No, no, come here.
想想这几个礼拜
Look, the last few weeks…
真的很棒
This is good.
棒极了
Wonderful.
我不会对你说谎的 我不知道要去多久
I’m not gonna lie to you. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be.
你会等我吗
Will you wait for me?
去拿茶叶来吧
Now go get that tea.
混♥蛋♥
You bastard.
首先 我们需要从南海
Well, firstly, we would need to trap 10,000 salmon
捕一万只鲑鱼 并按照合约规定
from the North Sea, for the sake of argument,
把它们活着送去也门 别问我怎么做
get them to the Yemen alive, don’t ask me how,
要养在能够控制温度
where they would be deposited
和氧气浓度的储鱼罐里
in temperature and oxygen-controlled
罐子放在河床上
holding tanks built into a wadi
然后祈祷上帝 等待雨季来临
that would, hallelujah, open during the rainy season,
让鲑鱼逆流而上迁移10千米
allowing the salmon to migrate upstream for, say, 10 kilometers,
再让你的酋长大人
which would allow your sheikh
心满意足地把它们从水里钓出来
to hoick them out of the water to his heart’s content.
当然 到了旱季
Of course, until the dry season,
这些鱼就会全部
when they will all
死掉
die.
除非我们一整年都打开大坝滋润河床
Well, unless we feed the wadi all year round using the dam.
是的 那蠢货
Of course. Stupid idiot man.
用宝贵的水资源
Why not use precious water resources
满足一个人的钓鱼爱好真是太好了
to support one man’s sport fishing?
既然我们能保证一年的水供应
So, now that we have year-round water,
那么为什么不建些碎石产卵地
why not build some gravel spawning grounds,
来饲养史上首批阿♥拉♥伯鲑鱼呢
breed the world’s first Arabian salmon,
教那些聪明的小家伙适应印度洋的新生活
and teach the clever fellows to migrate to the Indian Ocean…
真是好主意
Wonderful, wonderful idea.
让他们唱 快快乐乐蹦蹦跳
…singing, “Step we gaily,
你挨我挤脚碰脚[苏格兰民歌♥]
here we go. Heel for heel and toe for toe.”
成本大概是多少
Rough cost?
成本
Cost?
成本啊
Cost.
四千万 不对 四千五百万
Forty million. No, 45…
-五千万 -美元吗
– Fifty million. – Dollars?
-美元 -美元
– Dollars. – Dollars.
不对 是英镑
Or pounds.
那就英镑
Pounds.
最少得这么多
At least.
所以说 这个计划理论上可行
So it’s theoretically possible?
是啊 理论上可行
Well, it’s theoretically possible in the same way
把人送上火星在理论上也是可行的
as a manned mission to Mars is theoretically possible.
很不错 琼斯博士
It’s very impressive, Dr. Jones.
不错个屁 这些都是我信口乱编的
No, it’s not. It’s nonsense. Look, I just made it all up.
不 我是说你的画
No, the drawing.
可以说你很有天赋
Real talent, if I might say so.
开头很顺利
Excellent start.
我觉得我们是不是应该开始实施了
So I suppose we should just crack on and get things started now?
我不能按这个计划做
You can’t hold me to this.
这些只是我随便想出来的
I mean, these are just random ideas.
只是开个玩笑
I mean, this is a sort of joke.
我相信你不会拿
Well, I’m sure you wouldn’t
五千万的大工程开玩笑的 琼斯博士
joke about a 50-million-pound project, Dr. Jones.
而且你还是负责人之一
Not when you’re in charge of it.
酋长很想见见你
Well, the sheikh is so looking forward to meeting you,