房车之旅

恐怕不是吧
I’m afraid not.
我觉得莱尔德会抢了我的工作
I think Laird’s gonna get my job.
他更年轻 更聪明 更贱
He’s younger, smarter, cheaper.
你说什么
What did you say?
没什么
Nothing.
来喝吧
Here you go.
为了真爱
To true love.
-夏威夷之旅会很棒的 -没错
-Hawaii’s gonna be great. -Yeah.
你得取消去夏威夷了
You gotta cancel Hawaii.
-为什么 -兼并高山公♥司♥的事出了些问题
-Why? -We hit a snag in the Alpine merger.
-昨天还很顺利 -其中一个兄弟要反悔
-Since yesterday? -One brother got seller’s remorse.
-是加里 -是拉里
-Garry. -Larry.
加里还是想卖♥♥ 让他见见钱…
Garry’s still for it. Show him some money…
…他就会像鸭子一样嘎嘎叫了 拉里有些紧张
…he’ll quack like a duck. Larry’s nervous.
让我告诉我妻子不能去夏威夷了 还是埋了我吧
If I tell my wife we’re not going to Hawaii, bury me ass-up.
屁♥股♥撅起来埋 你就有地方停自行车了
You have a place to park your bike.
-鲍勃 -托德
-Bob. -Todd.
-鲍勃 -托德
-Bob. -Todd.
鲍勃 鲍勃 其实这次危机救了你的工作
Bob. Bob, this crisis has actually saved your job.
-真的 -昨天的事儿过后…
-Really? -After yesterday…
…我觉得应该炒了你 好挽回些面子
…I figured I gotta fire you to maintain some respect around here.
但是由于高山这件事…
But in light of this Alpine thing…
-…我还需要你 -上帝保佑你 托德
…I still need you. -Bless you, Todd.
我周五要到那儿去 开一次演示会
I gotta run out there and make a presentation.
我可以在夏威夷写好演示稿 然后电邮给你
I can write the presentation in Hawaii and zap it to you.
莱尔德也能写演示稿 如果我让他写
Laird can write me a presentation. If I tell him to,
他会住在办公室里的
he’ll live in the office.
他会用饮水机洗淋浴的
He’ll shower in the damn water cooler.
但你有他所没有的东西
But you’ve got one thing he hasn’t got.
-精神 -不 你在会议上表现很棒
-A soul. -No, you’re good in a meeting.
你脸皮厚 不怯场
You’ve got the chutzpah.
所以我要你来写演示稿…
So I want you to write that presentation…
…我要你参加会议 把这事儿搞定
…and I need you at the meeting to put this thing over.
-好吧 -那就不能去夏威夷了
-Yeah. -So no Hawaii.
-不去 -周五 科罗拉多 玻尔得市
-No. -Boulder, Colorado, Friday.
可以改天再去夏威夷嘛
Just move your Hawaii dates.
孩子们暑假有计划
The kids are booked the rest of the summer.
-你必须得去玻尔得 -同意
-You have to go to Boulder. -Agreed.
告诉你吧 在离婚以后 我就一心想追詹米
I want you to know, after the divorce, I’m coming after Jamie hard.
送她珠宝
Bring jewelry.
嘿 如果你得到詹米 我能追伊莱恩吗
Hey, if you get Jamie, can I have Elaine?
-你想要伊莱恩 -总比什么都没有强
-You want Elaine? -Better than nothing.
相信我 好不了多少
Trust me, it’s not better.
因为去年度假的事儿 伊莱恩还在生我的气呢
Elaine is still mad at me for taking that vacation last year.
她认为我因为去度假而没得到晋升
Figures that’s why I didn’t get that promotion.
-哦 那次房♥车之旅 -房♥车之旅
-Oh, the RV trip. -RV trip?
哦 是著名的房♥车之旅 哦 我们能再看看照片么
Oh, the famous RV trip. Oh, can we see the pictures again?
等等 等等 大家别动
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Nobody move.
房♥车是你租的么
Did you rent that RV?
妈 有个笨蛋把个难看的房♥车 停到咱家外面了
Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
什么
What?
哦 老天 是你丈夫
Oh, my God, it’s your husband.
-哦 嗨 -那是什么玩意儿
-Oh, hi. -What is that?
-是辆房♥车 -为什么停在家门口
-It’s an RV. -And why is it in front of our house?
-我们开它去度假 -去夏威夷
-We’re taking it on vacation. -To Hawaii?
不 它漂不起来 去科罗拉多
No, it doesn’t float. Colorado.
怎么不去夏威夷了
What happened to Hawaii?
行了 夏威夷是冬天才去的 现在是夏天
Come on, Hawaii’s a winter destination. It’s summer.
我带你们去的地方很特别 不会像麦克叔叔那样的
The place I’m taking you is special, and not like Uncle Mike.
那里有个天堂湖 小时候我父母带我去过
It’s Lake Nirvana, where I went with my parents as a kid.
他在搞笑么 我从来区分不出
Is he being funny? Because I can never tell.
哦 好了 你们一直想去野营的 不是么
Oh, come on. You’ve always wanted to camp, right?
肯定是因为格雷琴的事 他想出这个招儿来惩罚我
This is what he came up with to punish me for Gretchen.
我本打算去冲浪的 你干的好事儿 爸 谢了
I was gonna surf. Nice one, Dad. Thanks.
夏威夷的酒店里有健身房♥的
The hotel in Hawaii has a weight room.
你们就不能尊重一下我的健身计划
Doesrt anybody respect my lifting schedule?
我们不是野营者 我们不会露营
We’re not campers. We don’t camp.
-为什么不呢 -为什么…为什么不
-Why not? -Why…? Why not?
因为一件事 我们喜欢洗淋浴
For one thing, we like to shower.
可以啊 房♥车上有淋浴
Well, it’s got a shower.
你和我现在就出去 洗个淋浴
You and I will go out right now and take a shower.
鲍勃 你知道乘房♥车去旅行 要待在哪儿么
Bob, do you know where you stay when you take an RV trip?
-哪儿 -房♥车营地
-Where? -RV camps.
亲爱的 想想吧 我们不擅长交际
Honey, try to remember, we’re not friendly.
在夏威夷 孩子们不会待在咱们身边的
In Hawaii, we’ll never see the kids.
这样旅行我们能和他们在一起
This way, we can spend time with them.
你是需要和他们在一起
You need to spend time with them.
我一天和他们相处9个小时 我想去夏威夷
I spend nine hours a day with them. And I want Hawaii.
好啊 我们去夏威夷
All right, we’ll go to Hawaii.
圣诞节去 到那时就我们一家人 还有许多犹太人
At Christmas. Then it will just be us and a lot of Jewish people.
-所有的火腿都归我们吃 -我每天又要做晚饭
-We’ll have all the ham to ourselves. -I’ll have to cook.
不 你不做 我每天做晚饭 每顿饭都做
No, you won’t, because I’ll cook every night, every meal.
咱们打算要在白天小睡的酒店的房♥间里 午后时光…
We were gonna take naps. Hotel room, afternoon…
-…锁起门来小睡一下 -哦 好好的睡一下
…Iock-the-door naps. -Oh, the good naps.
-在房♥车里我们怎么睡 -我会开慢些的
-How are we gonna do that in an RV? -I’ll drive slowly.
-我想要按♥摩♥ -我给你按♥摩♥
-I was gonna get a massage. -I’ll give you a massage.
所有的饭都你做 还要给我按♥摩♥
You’re gonna do all the cooking, give me massages.
还有陪孩子们在一起
And spend time with the kids.
没错儿
You got it.
是不是因为托德不让你去夏威夷 所以你才取消了
Did you cancel our Hawaii trip because Todd told you to?
你是不是自愿 把我们弄去做什么试验
Did you volunteer us for some sort of experiment?
家人一起旅行 除了纯净感应汽水以外什么都不喝…
The family travels around and drinks nothing but Pure Vibe soda…
…好看看我们的牙是不是会掉下来
…see if our teeth fall out?
亲爱的 我和孩子们在一起的时间太少了
Honey, I’m running out of time with my kids.
来吧 宝贝儿
Come on, baby.
为什么不走出家门拥抱一下大自然…
Why don’t you come out in the wilderness…
…和你这个结实强壮的男人一起
…with your big, brawny man?
别逼我去叫我的邮购新娘
Don’t make me call for my mail-order bride.
鲍勃
Bob.
你那天才丈夫或许忽略了什么东西
Here’s something your genius husband probably overlooked.
1加仑油只能跑4英里
Four miles to the gallon?
天啊 我们为什么不待在家 在油田上点把火
Gee, why don’t we just stay home and set fire to an oil field.
啊 够高雅的
There’s an elegant touch.
或者我们可以打扮成小丑旅行
Or we could just travel around in clown suits.
我一整夜都把脑袋对着马桶 我相信这病会传染
I spent the night with my head in the toilet. I’m sure it’s contagious.
好了 别讲细节了 把新方案电邮给我
All right, no more details. Just e-mail me the new proposal.
-沙发是我的 躲开 -让我躲开
-That’s my couch. Move. -Make me.
-椅子更舒服 -随便
-This seat’s better, anyway. -Whatever.
欢迎上车 各位 我们出发前…
Welcome aboard, everybody. Before we embark…
…我想应该给这美人儿起个名字 有何建议
…I think we should give this beauty a name. Suggestions?
大粪
The Big Turd.
大粪球
The Big Rolling Turd.
本着这样的精神 我们上路吧
In that spirit, we set forth.
走喽 出发
Make it so, Number One.
亲爱的 你真的知道怎么…
Honey, are you sure know how to…?
-亲爱的 -相信我 好吗
-Honey? -Trust me, okay?
谢了
Thanks.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
-亲爱的 亲爱的 -干吗
-Honey, honey. -What?
-哦 有树 -看到了 没关系
-Oh, tree. -Yeah, it’s all right.
亲爱的
Honey?
亲爱的 亲爱的
Honey. Honey.
哦 上帝啊
Oh, my God.
-我们没事儿的 -亲爱的
-We’re okay. -Honey.
亲爱的 树 树
Honey, tree! Tree!
亲爱的 亲爱的
Honey, honey.
-亲爱的 -好了
-Honey. -Okay.
你还想撞点儿别的么
Anything else you want to hit?
你想开回去么 咱们还没撞到邻居家的猫呢
Do you want to go back? We missed the neighbor’s cat.
距离目的地还有31个小时
You are 31 hours from your destination.