房车之旅

“一到了晚上 他就来了”
“Once in every nighttime, someone comes around.”
-“我是来抓你的” -不要
-“I’m coming to get you.” -No.
“这个家伙不让人好好睡觉”
“There’s someone that makes sleeping difficult.”
“卡茜”
“Cassie.”
“我来喽…”
“I’m coming.”
谁在那里
Who’s there?
-“是痒痒怪” -不是
-“The Tickle Monster.” -No.
“没错 史泰龙就是痒痒怪”
“That’s right, Sylvester Stallone is the Tickle Monster.”
“我要胳肢你”
“I’m gonna tickle you.”
-“你说什么” -“我要胳肢你”
“What?” “I’m gonna tickle you.”
“什么” “我要胳肢你”
“What?” “I’m gonna tickle you!”
爸爸 救命
Daddy, help.
我来了 卡茜 放开我的女儿 痒痒怪
I’m here, Cassie. Unand my daughter, Tickle Monster.
哦 肉搏战
Oh, hand-to-hand.
-看那里 -加油 爸爸 加油
-Look, over there. -Go, Daddy, go.
“哦 天啊”
“Oh, dear.”
-她还没睡 -没呢
-Is she still up? -Yeah.
唉 我刚给她洗了个热水澡…
Yeah, I just gave her a warm bath…
…结果她现在比我还有精神
…and now she’s more wide-awake than I am.
她明天要在重要会议上打瞌睡了
She won’t be so sharp for her big meeting tomorrow.
-晚安 宝贝 -晚安 妈妈
-Good night, sweetie. -Night, Mommy.
好吧 如果我能在十分钟内哄睡卡尔…
Well, if I can get Carl to sleep in the next 10 minutes…
-…你今晚或许还有机会哦 -必要的话就用锤子
…you might still have a shot tonight. -Use a mallet if you have to.
-爸爸 -什么事 宝贝
-Daddy? -Yeah, baby?
我永远都不要结婚
I’m never gonna get married.
为什么呢 结婚没看上去那么糟啊
Why not? It’s not as bad as it looks.
因为我想永远在这儿和你一起过
Because I always want to live here with you.
那你知道么 有一天 你会长大的…
Well, you know, one day, you’re gonna grow up…
…遇到一个好小伙子 你们就会结婚的
…meet a wonderful guy, and you’re gonna get married.
但咱俩永远都是最好的朋友
But you and I will always be best friends.
晚安 卡茜
Good night, Cassie.
老爸 你可真够逊的
Dad, could you be any more of a dork?
卡茜 你是真知道这女孩住哪儿 还是以为你知道
Cassie, you know where this girl lives or you just think you know?
我知道她住哪儿 可我只知道一条路去那
I know where, I just know one way to get there.
-而你却不走那条路 -因为那么走很愚蠢
-And you refuse to go that way. -Because it’s a stupid way.
是的 如果你觉得能到那是很愚蠢的话
Lf you consider getting there stupid.
为什么不用导航
Why don’t you use the navigation?
因为你的”聪明”女儿不知道街名
Because Sacajawea back there doesn’t know the name of the street.
她只知道”那条街挨着另一条有喷泉的街”
She knows it as “the one next to the one with the fountain.”
嘿 爸 卡茜冲你竖手指
Hey, Dad, Cassie just gave you the finger.
如果我们不在两分钟内 找到这女孩的家…
If we don’t find this house in two minutes…
-在那里 -好了 亲爱的…
-There it is. -Okay, honey…
…快去叫你的朋友
…hurry up, go get your friend.
-混球儿 -我听到了
-Jerk. -I heard that.
很好
Good.
-她们在哪儿 -她刚下车
-Where are they? -She just left.
好吧
Okay.
哪个朋友 人不错
Which friend is this, the nice one?
你以前认识她所有的朋友
You used to know all her friends.
-你那时幽默 有魅力 -她现在都15岁了
-You were funny and charming. -Well, she’s 15.
她不想要我有魅力 她觉得那样很讨厌
She doesn’t want me to be charming. She finds it creepy.
哦 不
Oh, no.
是那个太”不错的”
It’s the too-nice one.
嗨 谢谢你邀请我
Hi, thanks for inviting me.
卡茜的朋友永远都受欢迎
Any friend of Cassie’s is always welcome.
我们有点儿晚了
We’re a little late.
记住 要恭喜托德并购 高山汽水公♥司♥成功…
Remember, congratulate Todd on the Alpine soda merger…
…夸他的房♥子很棒 顺便称赞一下他的外套 发型
…tell him the house looks great, work in his outfit.
-或者他味道很好闻 -要不要舔他的脸
-Maybe he smells nice. -Lick his face?
不 别碰他 别和他握手
No, don’t touch him. Don’t shake his hand.
-哦 对了 细菌恐惧症先生 -对的
-Oh, right, Mr. Stupid-Germ-Phobia. -Yeah.
他们在那儿 鲍勃 老猫[外号♥]
There they are, old Bob Bobcat.
-茶包[外号♥] -嗨 托德
-Teabag. -Hi, Todd.
嗨 嗨
Hi. Hi.
恭喜你 高山汽水公♥司♥那桩买♥♥卖♥♥
Well, congratulations on Alpine soda.
-鲍勃说你做成了 -没错
-Bob said you’d do it. -Yeah.
天啊 詹米 如果我前妻和你一样漂亮…
God, Jamie, if my ex-wife looked as good as you…
…我没准还得在那场 痛苦的婚姻中挣扎呢
…I’d still be in the middle of a horrible marriage.
谢谢托德 真会恭维人
Thank you, Todd. What a lovely compliment.
哦 莱尔德在那儿
Oh, there’s Laird.
莱尔德
Laird.
-那个就是年轻的”当红炸子鸡” -就是
-So that’s the young hotshot? -Yeah.
哈佛MBA 我们打算整死他
Harvard M.B.A. We’re planning to kill him.
你参加不
Do you want in?
-卡茜 -他在那儿
-Cassie. -There he is.
莱尔德 你把我弄得软绵绵的好不好
Laird. You know what’d be great? You going to get me shrimp.
我没开玩笑
I’m not joking.
卡茜 去和托德打个招呼吧
Cass, go say hi to Todd.
-打什么招呼 -他挺喜欢你 我给你20块钱
-What for? -He likes you. I’ll give you 20 bucks.
我也去好么 我在网上看过他所有的资料
Can I come? I read all about him online.
好啊
Okay.
好吧
Okay.
嗨 马洛里先生 很高兴再见到你
Hi, Mr. Mallory. Good to see you again.
-哦 我是卡茜·门罗 -小卡茜
-Oh, Cassie Munro. -Little Cassie?
哇 你都变成大姑娘了
Wow, you turned into quite the young lady.
这是我朋友格雷琴
This is my friend, Gretchen.
-嗨 格雷琴 -嗨
-Hi, Gretch. -Hi.
就是你让公立教育系统在学校里
Arert you the one who got
卖♥♥”纯净感应汽水”的吧
Pure Vibe sodas into the schools?
就是我 卡茜的爸爸也帮了忙 他负责公共关系…
That was me. Cassie’s dad helped, he’s head of Corporate Relations…
…但我是董事长
…but I am el presidente.
哇 那么你就要对…
Wow, so you’re, like, personally responsible…
…损害上百万儿童 的健康负全部责任喽
…for destroying the health of millions of children.
-格雷琴 -或许我不那么想
-Gretchen. -I probably wouldn’t put it that way.
肥胖 糖尿病 胆固醇
Obesity, diabetes, cholesterol.
我们肥胖的童年都是你一手造成的 你尝尝吧
The fat of our youth is on your hands. Wallow in it.
谢谢 我玩儿得很开心
Thank you, I had a very nice time.
我真要
Keep it real.
别
Don’t.
嘿 伙计 你能不能小点儿声
Yo, homeslice, can you chill on the def jam?
你把我的节拍弄乱了
You’re boiling my vibe.
厉害啊
Respect.
卡茜 能和你谈谈么
Cass, can we talk?
-天啊 什么 -没事儿 是我不好
-God, what? -Nothing. My bad.
当爹真是罪过 算了吧
Father evil. Forgot that.
你怎么样 还好么
How you doing, are you all right?
-不太好 -为什么不去做个磨皮
-No, not really. -Why don’t you get that skin peel?
感觉像是做过了 卡茜就像块”磨刀石”
Feels like that. Cassie was so abrasive…
哦 鲍勃刚进来 以后打给你 是我姐姐
Oh, Bob just came in. Let me call you back. My sister.
-和卡茜谈过了 -嗯 试了试
-Did you talk to Cassie? -Yeah, I tried.
心情还是不太好
Still bleeding a little bit.
她不知道格雷琴会那样做
She didn’t know Gretchen was gonna do that.
是 她不知道她的朋友要往我 老板身上泼一大杯鸡油
She didn’t know her friend was gonna throw a vat of schmaltz on my boss.
葡萄酒还是马提尼
Wine or martini?
-都要 放点儿普罗萨克[抗抑郁药] -好吧
-Both, with a Prozac back. -Okay.
记得从前吗 她总是问”爸爸回家了么”现在提都不提了
Remember when it used to be “Daddy’s home”? Now nothing.
我们在四个不同的房♥间看电视…
We watch TV in four separate rooms…
…在网上发消息通知大家吃晚饭
…and we IM each other when dinner’s ready.
那让我们做些改变吧
Well, then let’s change things.
从夏威夷之旅开始
Let’s start while we’re in Hawaii.
不带笔记本电脑和黑莓手♥机♥ 也没有公务电♥话♥
No laptop, no BlackBerry, no business calls.
-我们就去吧 -没有什么
-Let’s really go. -No what?
剩下的暑假里你就见不到他们了
You’re not gonna see them for the rest of the summer.
-卡尔要去夏令营 -对
-Carl’s got camp… -Yeah.
卡茜要去帕洛阿图上大学预备班 我知道
Cassie’s got college prep in Palo Alto, I know.
没错儿 我们回来的第二天他们就又要走了
That’s right, and they leave the day after we get back.
在夏威夷也不会有什么不同
It’ll be the same in Hawaii.
他们只在要钱的时候才找咱们
They’ll only call us when they need money.
我很高兴咱们能去 别太担心工作上的事儿
Well, I’m glad we’re going. And don’t worry so much about work.
托德很喜欢你 缺了你不行的
Todd loves you. You’re indispensable.