落跑新娘（1999）

♪ 我登上山顶 ♪
♪ I have climbed the highest mountain ♪
♪ 我跑过田野 ♪
♪ I have run through the fields ♪
♪ 只为和你在一起 ♪
♪ Only to be with you ♪
♪ 只为和你在一起 ♪
♪ Only to be with you ♪
♪ 我远行，我攀爬 ♪
♪ I have run, I have crawled ♪
♪ 我翻过城墙 ♪
♪ I have scaled these city walls ♪
♪ 越过城市 ♪
♪ These city walls ♪
♪ 只为和你在一起 ♪
♪ Only to be with you ♪
♪ 但我还是找不到 ♪
♪ But I still haven’t found ♪
落跑新娘
♪ 我在追寻什么 ♪
♪ What I’m looking for ♪
♪ 但我还是找不到 ♪
♪ But I still haven’t found ♪
♪ 我在追寻什么 ♪
♪ What I’m looking for ♪
菲莎,快接电♥话♥
Fisher, pick up.
是我啊,快接电♥话♥
Fisher, it’s me! Fisher, pick up!
我要跟你谈谈我那个专栏
I’m late, come on, come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you.
老是旧调重弹,会闷…
Mine are all boring, done it, been there.
艾基
Hey, Ike!
可以不再每天清早把我吵醒吗?
When are you guys gonna stop waking me up every morning?
你的专栏不再令我打瞌睡就可以
When your column stops putting me to sleep.
你真会说笑
Funny, funny. Yo, Jonah!
菲莎,你真的不在吗?
Fisher, come on! Are you really not there?
好,给我回电吧
All right, cool. I’ll talk to you later.
我想写一篇关于汽车的专栏
xcuse me. I’m thinking of doing an article about limousines.
未坐过汽车的人会有什么感受?
What do you think about people who’ve never been in one?
抱歉 我未见过这种人
I’m Sorry. I don’t know people like that.
我只是想听取一些意见
I need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing.
1个钟头27分52秒就要交稿
I got one hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds.
你几时才在专栏写我啊?
Hey, Ike! When are you gonna put me in a column?
等你卖♥♥的T恤不再缩水啦 缩水？
When your Tshirts stop shrinking. Shrinks?
别闹 别闹 他在开玩笑 他只是在开玩笑
Funny, funny. He’s kidding. He’s just kidding.
来 5 美元 2美元了 没门。
Here, give me $5. Give me $2. No way.
伙计们 我这里有漂亮的衬衫 来呀
Folks, I got nice shirts here. Look!
“我肯跟大家好,下一个轮到你”
“I love everybody. You’re next.”
你明天的专栏谈什么?
So what’s in store for us in tomorrow’s column?
我还未知道 我要等到最后一分钟才行事的
I don’t know yet. I’m, uh, kind of a last minute man.
截稿前一个小时我还未有题材
You know, till an hour or two before deadline, I don’t get any ideas.
那你专栏的题材是来自生活片段
So you get your ideas for your column from life.
例如在酒吧向女人搭讪
Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar.
批评她只会掷飞镖
Attack her dart playing and try to get a rise out of her…
在她沉思时故意触怒她或者看看能否搭上她
while you contemplate whether or not she’s worth hitting on.
我未有题材前连你也不想搭上
No, I can’t hit on you till I get an idea.
你倒很口甜舌滑
Wh That’s flattering.
不,你搞不清楚了
No, you don’t understand.
我不肯让你搭上我 我搞得很清楚
I understand. See, my not responding to you baiting me…
会令你在专栏里大肆抨击女性
will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women.
抨击女性的文章嘛
I don’t write bitter diatribes about women.
我是很少写的 其实我也懂得写
Ohho. Very often. I could.
只是在思路不通畅时才抨击吧?
Only when the ideas aren’t flowing, huh?
一分钟先生,幸会了
It’s so nice to meet you, oneminute man.
是最后一分钟,别混淆啊
It’s lastminute man.
随你怎样说吧
Whatever.
你样貌一流,但泡妞九流
Want to hear something funny? For a goodlooking guy, you strike out a lot. Have you noticed that?
一定是你前妻打来的
I bet it’s your exwife. Excuse me.
更糟的我都见过
I’ve seen much worse.
艾基不在这里
No, Ike’s not here.
我刚说,更糟的我都见过
I say, I’ve seen much worse.
你说啥
Excuse me?
拂袖而去
The brushoff.
我亲眼见过
I’ve witnessed far more…
离开时更凶的样子
treacherous and nefarious exits than that.
至少她只是私下斥责你
At least she castigated you in private.
连你都听到就不算私下斥责了 有纸巾吗?
Not as private as I thought. Kevin, you got some napkins there?
用来抹嘴抑或写搞? 迟些才让你知吧
Wiping or writing? I’ll let you know.
女人敢爱敢恨
They love you. They hate you.
情绪有起有落
They’re up. They’re down.
可是我还得赶写专栏 说得真妙
This is fun making a list with you, but I do have a column to rite.
你总得找个妙绝人寰的题材才行
Ike. But you have yet to find a really superb idea.
可以写一写我家乡的一个少女
There’s a girl from my hometown that you could write about.
她喜欢把新郎丢在婚礼上
She likes to dump grooms at the altar.
所以大家称她为“逃跑新娘”
They call her the “Runaway Bride.”
她做这种怪事做七、八次了
She’s performed the travesty seven or eight times.
转身、跑掉,逃之夭夭
Turns around, runs like hell. Bolts. Adios.Plows down the aisle, knocking old ladies out of her way…
好像西班牙那些狂冲的牛一样
Like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona.
但等着受害的男士还在排队等她
And guess what! She’s got the next victim all lined up.
然后她又逐个抛弃,故技重施
She’s turning another body on the spit.
好啦,小猫儿,我开工了
Okay, Italics, here we go.
今天是自我反省的日子
Today is a day of profound introspection.
有人指控我利用这个专栏
I have been accused of using this column…
向异性直接作出猛烈的抨击
to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex.
这种指责令我很不舒服
This uncomfortable accusation…
痛自反省了至少十五分钟
has plunged me into at least 15 minutes of serious reflection,
结论是我承认
from which I have emerged…
我一直都在利用女性
with the conclusion that, yes, I traffic in female stereotypes.
但是怎么能怪我呢 每次我走出前门……
But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door…
都会见到女士朝气勃勃神采飞扬
I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well.”
母亲啦,处♥女♥啦 青楼妓♥女♥啦,丑老太婆啦
“The mother, the virgin,the whore, the crone.”
她们在地铁用手肘撞你
“They’re elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs,
她们在电梯用香水薰你
and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators.”
公平点说,女性也有清丽温纯的
“But perhaps in fairness to the fairer sex,
我愿在圣殿上增添一些新女神
I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon.”
我会增添一些啦啦队队员
I would like to nominate for deity, the cheerleader,
啊 啦啦队长 男女同校和食人者……
ah, the cheerleader,the coed and the man-eater…
在古希腊 这位可怕的女性就是依理逆司
“In ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys,
是三位复仇女神的总称
the devouring death goddess.”
在印度 她是 Kali 喜欢吞噬男友 Shiva 的内脏……
In India, she is Kali,who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva’s entrails…
而女神能用阴♥道♥吞噬他那话儿….. 不提也罢
while her yoni devours his Dot, dot, dot. Never mind.
在印尼,这种悍妇名叫灵马
“In Indonesia, the bloodyjawed maneater is called Ragma.”
这些国家都是没有有线电视的
You notice these are all countries without cable.
在马里兰州
“And in Hale, Maryland,
她在经营家庭式硬件店呢!
where she helps run the family hardware store,
她名叫卡美姬 绰号♥是“逃跑新娘”
she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, a.k.a. the Runaway Bride.”
这位卡小姐异乎常人之处就是…
“What is unusual about Miss Carpenter…
先把她的男友装扮成新郎 才把他们吞掉
is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them.”
古董式水龙头刻上一个“热”字
One antique hotwater handle with the “hot” still on it.
保证适合任何钢铁造的浴缸
Guaranteed to fit any American Standard castiron tub…
长四寸 可嵌在二、三十年代制♥造♥的浴缸
with a fourinch center mount made between 1924 and 1938.
柏士顿先生
In other words, Mr. Paxton,
你不必再跟太太起争执了
I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton.
感谢天主,那太好了
Hallelujah!
我给你挂帐吧
I’ll see you later. I’ll put it on your charge.
美姬可能还未看到这个专栏
There’s a possibility she hasn’t seen this yet.
或许她连报纸也没时间看
Maybe she just hasn’t picked up a paper. Know what I mean?
不会吧
Or not. Maggie?
你用不着安装冷气机
arl, you don’t need an airconditioner. You need an attic fan.
你用电风扇就行了
There’s more in the back. Hey.
怎么啦?
What?
美姬,你看过这篇专栏了吗?
So, Mag, you’ve seen this, huh?
我看过了
Yes, I’ve seen it.
这篇是最粗鄙最狂妄的狗屁文章
And it is the rudest, most offensive…
从未有人敢这样戏弄本姑娘的
joke anyone has ever played on me!
你们花多少心思造出的八桂新闻
You guys, how long did this take you? Where did you get it done?
顺便说一句 你们太八桂 我不该让你们进来
You’re both creeps, by the way.I should disinvite you.
我们并非造一份假报纸开你玩笑
Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so we didn’t
老天
Holy moly.
她快要晕倒了
快拿袋来
Bag. Bag! She’s going. She’s gonna go!
袋子在这儿 呼吸
Here’s the bag. Breathe!
♪ 准备好 ……. ♪
♪ Ready, ready, ready, ready ♪
♪ 准备好开始 ♪
♪ Ready to run ♪
♪ 我所要做的就是玩得开心 ♪
♪ All I’m ready to do is have some fun ♪