恋恋书中人（2012）

Calvin? You need to thank me because I cleaned your oven.
-谢谢 苏茜 -我的女人
– Thank you, Susie. – Oh, my woman.
好了 你一股汗味 把你的手拿开
Okay. You’re sweaty. Get your mitts off of me.
苏茜 你刚才是不是刮…
Susie, did you happen to sha… ?
你没告诉我你跟别人上♥床♥了
You didn’t tell me you were getting laid.
-哈利 -我只想说
– Harry. – I’m just saying.
他口口声声说自己忙于创作没空来咱们家
He claims to be writing too much to haul his ass to our house.
结果呢 他只是频于房♥事
But turns out, he’s just getting too much poon.
-哈利 我对天发誓 -我没有
– Harry, I swear to God. – I’m not getting any poon.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
这是谁的 你告诉我
Whose is that? You tell me.
天啊 斯科蒂
Oh, my God. Scotty.
-斯科蒂的吗 -不是 斯科蒂
– It’s Scotty’s? – No. Scotty
别让宝宝摸那个 迈尔斯 别摸
Don’t let the baby touch that. Miles, don’t.
-苏茜 他喜欢 -不 他不喜欢
– Susie, he likes it. – No, he doesn’t like it.
斯科蒂把这些带进来的
Scotty’s been dragging them in.
他貌似很喜欢
He seems to love it.
他从我的怪邻居的垃圾堆经过
He goes through my weird neighbor’s garbage.
-所以这是个乱捡的脏胸罩 -是脏的
– So that’s a random dirty bra? – It’s dirty.
恶心 你让他咳嗽了
That’s gross. You made him cough.
卡尔文 别乱放 把它扔了
Calvin, don’t put it away. Throw it away.
我保证 要是你妈妈知道…
I swear, if your mother knew…
-卡尔文 这是什么 -什么什么
– Calvin, what is this? – what’s what?
-没什么 -哈利 过来
– Nothing. – Harry, get over here.
别这样
Uh, please, don’t.
-这是内♥裤♥吗 -我靠
– Are these panties? – Fuck off.
我发誓 是斯科蒂带进来的
I swear, Scotty’s been dragging them in.
-行 是斯科蒂 -闭嘴
– Right. Scotty. – Shut up.
卡尔文 把这些扔了
Calvin, throw these away.
-苏茜 我去看看哈利 -好的
– Hey, Susie, I’m gonna check on Harry. – Okay.
-告诉他我们得赶紧走了 -好的
– Tell him we have to go soon. – Okay.
怎么样
So?
你怎么想到写这个的
Where do you see this going?
我不知道 我就这么开始了
Well, I don’t know. I just started.
这是个爱情故事 对吗
This is a love story, right?
谁看爱情小说
Who reads love stories?
女人
Women.
我告诉你 没有女人想看这个
And I’m telling you, no woman’s gonna wanna read this.
为什么 这很浪漫啊
Why not? It’s romantic.
古怪 脏乱的女人
Quirky, messy women whose
还讨人喜爱是不现实的
problems only make them endearing are not real.
没了
Period.
那句话怎么说的 “写你所经历的”
What do they say, “write what you’ve been through”?
-写你所知 -对 写你所知
– Write what you know. – Exactly. Write what you know.
-我认识像茹比一样的女孩 -有吗
– I’ve known girls like Ruby. – Yeah?
谁
Who?
就女孩啊
Girls.
-莱拉吗 -不是他妈莱拉
– Lila? – Not fucking Lila.
-你就谈过这么一段恋爱 -5年
– You’ve had one relationship. – For five years.
你们甚至都没同居过
You never even lived together.
跟你讲卡尔文
I’m telling you, Calvin,
什么狗屁蜜月 长不了的
the honeymoon shit, it doesn’t last.
-这我知道 – 女人细看就不一样了
– I know that. – Women are different up close.
我爱苏茜
I love Susie,
但她是个怪人
but she’s a weirdo.
有时候 她无缘无故地尖酸刻薄
Sometimes, she’s mean as fuck for no reason.
她是个大活人
She’s a person.
你写的这不是人 明白吗
You haven’t written a person, okay?
-你写的是个女孩 -随你怎么说
– You’ve written a girl. – All right, whatever.
作家不会把初稿示人的
Writers don’t show their work to people at this stage.
这故事我没准还写不完
I might not even finish it.
因为…我不喜欢告诉别人这些
Because… And don’t, like, tell people about it.
听着 我不是说你写不来
Listen. I’m not saying you can’t write.
我是说
I’m saying
你根本不懂女人
you don’t know jack shit about women.
剩下的饭菜别浪费了 好吗 小瘦子
Don’t let those leftovers go to waste, okay, skinny?
明天去健身房♥吗
Gym tomorrow?
我约了塞勒斯
Uh, I’m seeing Cyrus.
-要不周五吧 -那就周五
– Maybe Friday? – Friday.
-我知道 -还好吧 宝宝
– I know. – You okay, bud?
没事
Yes.
这玩意掉的到处都是
This thing is dripping everywhere.
这玩意儿该怎么吃
How are you supposed to eat this thing?
怎么了
What?
你根本不是我喜欢的类型
You’re so not my type.
什么叫”我不是你喜欢的类型”
what do you mean I’m not your type?
我一般找那种更坚定果断的男人
I usually go for guys who are a little more, um, assertive.
-我就是啊 -你不是
– I’m assertive. – Ha, ha. No.
你那是顽固 两码事
You’re stubborn. That’s different.
我谈过那么一个男朋友
I had this one boyfriend
他说我没劲
who told me I wasn’t funny
但我还是挺有幽默感的
but that I have a good sense of humor
因为他讲笑话我总会笑
because I laughed at his jokes.
你干嘛和这样的男人约会
Why would you date a guy like that?
那会儿不是小嘛 你肯定做过后悔事
I was young. You must have things you regret.
不一定
Not really.
到目前为止一切都很完美
Everything’s been perfect so far.
所以 你找对象就看重这个吗
So that’s what you’re looking for in a guy?
缺心眼
Douchiness?
我不知道
I don’t know.
我猜我一直在找你
I guess I was looking for you.
费了我一番功夫才找到你
It just took me a while to find you.
-茹比 -跳
– Ruby. – Jump!
你第一次见到我时是怎么想的
What did you think the first time you saw me?
你是我见到过的最漂亮的姑娘
I thought you were the most beautiful girl I ever saw.
当你了解我之后失望吗
Were you disappointed when you got to know me?
干嘛这么问
How can you ask that?
我这么糟糕
I’m such a mess.
我喜欢你的糟糕
I love your mess.
我第一次见你 我就想
The first time I saw you, I thought
“看这个男孩”
“Look at that boy.”
“我将永远永远永远爱他”
“I’m going to love him forever and ever and ever.”
-你要是讨厌我了呢 -不会的
– What if you get sick of me? – I won’t.
我发誓
I promise.
你好 该死
Hello. Shit.
该死
Shit.
你好 该死
Hello. Damn it.
好吧 不
Okay. No.
-你好 -塞勒斯
– Hello. – Cyrus.
-你跑哪儿去了 -抱歉
– Where the fuck are you? – Uh, sorry.
我写着写着趴在桌上睡着了 我马上到
I was writing, I fell asleep on my desk. I’ll be right there.
如果你还没准备好 也不着急
Look, if you aren’t ready to talk about this, it’s fine.
不 我要给你看点我写的东西
No… No, no. I wanna show you what I have.
我想你一定很感兴趣
I think you’re gonna be really excited.
当然 我肯定感兴趣
Of course, I’ll be excited. Okay,
好吧 现在我要推迟午饭时间
uh, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll push my lunch.
如果我现在出门
Okay. All right. Well, uh, if I leave now,
15分钟就能到
I should be there in 15 minutes.
-好吧 -如果不堵车的话
– All right. – If there isn’t any traffic.
糟糕 斯科蒂
Oh, damn it. Scotty.
-怎么了 -没什么 我的狗要尿尿
– What? – Uh, nothing. Uh, my dog has to pee.
-我带它去后院 -我去遛它吧
– I’ll, uh, put him in the backyard. – I’ll take him out.
太好了 谢谢
Great. Thank you.
卡尔
Cal?
你在吗
Hello?
昨晚我好想你
I missed you in bed last night.
-写的怎么样了 -你还在吗
– Did you get some good writing done? – Are you there?
想来一口吗
Hey, you want a bite?
-有脆格[谷物早餐] -他挂了
– It’s Crispix. – I think I lost him.
天啊 这是真的 这次是真的
God, it’s happening. It’s really happening this time.
-他们会送我去看病的 -怎么了