模范贱兄弟 Role Models（2008）

当你们回来时
And then when you come back,
就要见到…请来点鼓声
It’ll be time to meet… drum roll, please.
你的小伙伴啦
…your little!
我等不及了
I cannot wait to meet mine.
我要带他们去动物园
I’m going to take them to the zoo,
因为我看到那里的大熊猫
Because I heard that the giant panda bear
也有一个小熊猫
Has a little baby panda bear,
没什么能比那个小不点儿
And there’s just nothing cuter
还可爱的了
Than a little baby panda bear…
我♥干♥不了这个
Yeah, I can’t do this.
别 丹尼
Danny, stop.
否则我们会进监狱的 明白吗
We will get raped in jail. do you understand?
但这样又有什么意义
What’s the point?
我是说 我没什么可以给小孩子的
I mean, I’ve got nothing to give a kid.
你要是个孩子 你愿意和我一起出去吗
If you were a kid, would you want to hang out with me?
嘿 你想进去服刑吗
Hey, do you want to get raped?
你们好啊 两位男士
Hello, gentlemen.
你好
Hey.
你可能听到我们说什么了 -什么
You probably heard that out of context. excuse me?
我问我朋友他是否想进局子
When I asked my friend danny if he wanted to get raped.
我想你们俩都听我说 行不 倾听有好处
I want you both to listen to me, okay? and listen good.
我知道你们干吗来这儿 所以别满嘴胡话
I know why you’re here, so don’t bs a bser.
好吗 你们能在这儿现身 是法庭判决
Okay? your “presence” here, court-ordered.
你为什么用”现身”这个词?
Why did you put “presence” in quotes?
你是说我们还没在这儿出现吗
Are you implying that we’re not here?
你知道吗 我要是给法官打个电♥话♥
You know, one call to the judge from me,
你们就会在牢房♥里了 象M.C哈默(著名歌♥手)一样
And you are in the slammer, like M.C. Hammer.
M.C哈默进过监狱吗
Did M.C. Hammer go to prison?
是的
Yes, he did.
差一点点就能逃脱了
Or he came extremely close.
他现在肯定已经登记破产了
I’m certain he filed for bankruptcy,
你们别在我面前说三道四
so don’t bs me right now, okay?
我不明白 我们说你是胡说八道了吗
I don’t understand. how are we bsing you?
当然 我能看出来
Exactly. I’m bs-proof.
这些是时间表
Here’s a couple of time sheets.
每次带孩子出去之后
You’ll want your little buddies’ parents
你们要让孩子家长签字确认
to sign them after each outing,
那样的话 我会把你们的犯罪记录清除
And that way, I can use my bs flyswatter to swat away the flies
那就是你们想要的
That is your bs.
还有什么问题
Okay? any questions?
嘿 小家伙 你们的大人来了
Hey, little littles, your bigs are here!
噢 太搞笑了
Okay. that’s good fun!
丹尼 你的小伙伴不在这边 跟我来
Danny, your little is elsewhere. why don’t you come with me?
虽然听过满脸爆米花 但还是好笑
I’ve heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous.
兄弟们拿上武器 跟我来
Brothers in arms, follow me!
邪恶头子阿哥顿把我们逼到绝路了
The evil king argotron has us cornered.
噢 我的女士艾斯林 纳瓦罗女神
My fair lady esplen, goddess of navalore.
我为你而战
I fight for your honor.
你想吻我吗
You wish to kiss me?
时间宝贵啊
There’s precious little time.
不管了
What the hell.
不 待会儿的 我要继续战斗了
No! no. more later! now I must fight!
你的小人叫奥基·法克斯 年龄稍大
Your kid’s name is Augie Farks, a little older than most of the kids.
呃 那个…
Um, that…
这个还没完善
I wasn’t really 100% yet.
别只看到那些不好的动作
Don’t judge me by that move that…
我不会惹麻烦的 是吧
I’m not gonna get in trouble, right?
这些…这些只是泡沫和胶带
This is just… this is just soft foam and duct tape.
不会伤人的
It can’t harm anyone.
别担心了 我的陛下
No worries, my liege.
好的!
Okay!
这是丹尼 想做你的新朋友
This is danny. he wants to be your new friend.
现在你们互相认识一下吧
So I’m gonna let you guys get to know each other,
我要消失在雾中了
And I’ll fade into the mist.
玩的怎么样
How’s it going?
你想出来的玩法真是不错
That’s a nice routine you worked out.
希望你没打算把我也分尸了
I hope you weren’t planning on slaying me.
棒极了
Wonderful.
过来惠勒 认识你的小伙伴 他叫罗尼
Come on, wheeler. let’s meet your kid. his name’s ronnie.
是这里最小的 单亲 母亲全职工作
He’s one of our youngest. single mom, full-time job.
六周前送进来的
Signed him up about six weeks ago.
有八个不同大人和他配过对
Matched him up with eight different bigs.
没有一个人能坚持一天的
No one’s lasted more than a day,
但我想你能 你年轻 也不闷
But I think you’re perfect because you’re young, you’re fun,
而且你不想进监狱
And you don’t wanna go to prison.
画的很恐怖
That’s scary!
要告诉你 你现在在我的地盘上 对吗
And fyi, you’re playing on this girl’s court now, okay?
所以你要按我定的规则来 -你是教练吗
So you’re playing by her rules. – are you the coach?
我是 我是教练 控球后卫
I am the coach. I’m the coach, and I’m the point guard,
两个前锋 中卫 另一个后卫
I’m the two forwards, the center, and I’m the other guard.
我就是整个球队
I’m the entire organization.
你好啊 罗尼 今天过的怎么样 在画画吗
Hey, there, ronnie. how you doing today? doing a little drawing?
不错
That’s cool.
我要你认识一个很特别的人
I want you to meet someone really special.
我想你们会合得来
And I think you two dudes are gonna become real homeys.
罗尼 这是安森
Ronnie, this is anson.
叫我惠勒好了
Wheeler’s good.
随便了
Whatever.
嘿 那个大人 你干吗呢
Hey, big guy. what you doing here?
你好吗 罗尼 很高兴认识你
What up, ronnie? it’s good to meet you.
你在画什么呢
What you drawing there?
噢 碧昂斯 她在吸烟
Ooh. Beyonc? she’s smoking!
我不想脱裤子
I don’t want to take my pants off!
什么
What? whoa, whoa!
好了 罗尼 够了
All right, ronnie. that’s enough.
这贱♥人♥想要脱我裤子
This bitch tried to grab my joint!
注意语言 罗尼
Language, ronnie!
我的语言是英语
My language is english!
这傻♥逼♥想要抓我下面
And this motherfucker tried to grab on my hang-down.
你下面那玩意儿我也有 孩子
I got my own hang-down to touch, kid.
那个死白鬼子想要握我的球
Honky-ass wanted a handful of my balls!
白鬼子 种族歧视啊
Honky? that’s racist.
好了 我相信你们俩会好起来
Well, I trust you two will work this out.
我不会管每一件小事
I’m not gonna micromanage.
这也不是我的风格
Not my modus operandi.
我不知道拿这些小不点儿怎么办
I have no idea what I’m gonna do with this kid.
我也是
Me, either.
我打赌要是魁地奇球赛(哈利波特里面的比赛) 他准乐的屁颠屁颠的
I bet if I suggested a game of quidditch, he’d come in his pants.
我跟他说了半小时 他一点没吭声
I’ve been talking to him for half an hour. kid’s barely said a word.
我们进监狱算了 30天而已
Maybe we should just go to jail. it’s 30 days.
我不知道你是不是说着玩儿的 丹尼
I don’t know if this is some kind of joke to you, danny,
不过我喜欢现在的生活 好吗
But I actually like my life, okay?
如果去坐牢 那我的工作肯定没了 听着
Now, if I go to jail, I’m gonna lose my job. listen.
真进了监狱的话 你就别想贝丝能回到你身边
We go to prison, you’re never gonna get beth back.
30天后我们回家
We come home after 30 days,
她已经和她老板搞上了 我保证
She’s banging her boss. I guarantee it.
真的吗 我想她会和帕特丽夏·菲歌♥德好上
Really? she’s gonna be banging patricia feingold
她老板是个女的吗
Her boss is a chick?
噢 天啊
Oh, jesus.
丹尼 听我一句 好吗 我们是一伙的 我和你
Danny, just listen, okay? we’re a team. all right? you and me.
我们能过了这关的 一起坚持下去
We can do this. we just got to stick together.
好吧
Fine. good.
那么 你打算和孩子们玩什么
So, what do you do with kids?
嗨 孩子们
Hey, kids!
我们松鼠要打破沉默了
We chip monks just broke our vow of silence,
我们要唱歌♥了
and we want to sing!
我们是查理酒吧的松鼠
We are the monks of chip monk charlie’s
我们给你们送食物
We will give you food to eat
一旦吃的进了我们的胃和肚
And once it’s in our tummies
我们就会走起松鼠步
We will move our chip monk feet