模范贱兄弟 Role Models（2008）

我可不想再听你们唠叨什么地牢啊
I don’t wanna hear any more about your dungeons and dragons
飞龙啊 什么的
Or your fruity cocoa puffs…
那是他的乐园
It’s all fairyland with him.
我们只是想让他回到现实
We’re trying to keep it… we’re trying to keep it real.
纳瓦罗女神 看见我哭了 妈妈
The goddess of Navalore saw me cry, mom.
奥基 我小的时候有一回
Hey, Augie, when I was a little kid, I accidentally
在我喜欢的女孩面前拉裤子了
Crapped my pants in front of a girl I liked,
所以我知道你的痛苦
So I feel your pain.
他喜欢女孩 不错啊 真令我惊讶
Well, He likes girls. That’s a good thing. That’s a surprise to me.
重要的是国王把我踢出局了
Doesn’t matter anyway. He got me kicked out.
什么 -什么 你没开玩笑吧
What? -what? You’re kidding me.
他们能把你踢出局
They can kick you out?
是啊 我被赶出来了 -那太棒了
Yeah, I’m banned. -This is a great thing.
你也该长大了 -这是不是意味着
Way to go, big guy. -Does this mean
我们能把你做的那些靴子
We can finally get rid of those boots
和那些可怕的披肩扔掉了
And that god-awful cape that you made out of my tablecloth?
我烦死那些东西了
I’m so sick of this.
我去把那些烧掉
I’ll burn them up in a…
一定要烧掉 我们是认真的
We’ll have a bonfire. we’ll make a thing of it.
你们不觉得他穿那些衣服时很快乐吗
Don’t you want him to wear what makes him happy?
是的 是的 我知道
Yes. yes, I do. yes.
你知道我什么时候才想让他穿那些吗
You know when I want him to wear what makes him happy?
10月31号♥ 万圣节的时候 无论他怎么疯
On october 31st. Halloween, Go nuts.
抹口红 我都不介意
Wear lipstick. I don’t care.
是啊 是啊
Yeah. yeah.
打扮成修女都无所谓 -对
You know, dress like a nun. -Sure.
我们会搞个庆典
We’re gonna have a celebration
庆祝你回到现实世界
To celebrate you joining the rest of the world.
庆祝他变得正常 -他本来就很正常
Becoming a normal kid. -He is a normal kid.
你觉得他正常吗 -是啊 我觉得他很正常
You think he’s normal? -yeah, I think he’s normal.
你认为他正常 -他真的正常
You think he’s normal. -He’s normal.
我像他这么大的时候
When I was his age,
我同时交了四五个女友 我不是和你说过吗
I had four, five girlfriends at one time. didn’t I tell you that?
他还上了他的表姐
He was fucking his cousin.
我没有上我表姐
I wasn’t fucking my cousin. i…
我们只是接吻了 我不知道他是我表姐
We kissed, because I didn’t know she was my cousin,
当我知道后 我就不再吻她
But when I found out, I stopped kissing her,
但我上了她朋友
but I fucked her friends.
我上了表姐的朋友
I fucked my cousin’s friends.
我觉得奥基正面临着生命中最艰苦的时期
I think that Augie is just having kind of a tough time in life,
虽然我已经习以为常 -生活就是艰苦的
Which sounds pretty normal to me. -Life is tough.
是很艰难 但是你知道吗 -我也这么想
It is tough. but you know what? -This is my point.
以后还会更艰难 当你
It’s tougher when you…
和你们这样的父母在一起时
With parents like you?
不好意思 你刚才说什么
Excuse me? what did you just say?
我说生活确实艰难
I said it is tough,
但是有你们这样的父母生活会更艰难
but I think it’s tougher with parents like you.
我还以为我刚才听错了
I thought that’s what you just said.
我不知道你是怎么过来的 孩子
I don’t know how you do it, kid.
我总认为我的生活很一团糟
I mean, I thought my life sucked.
天啊 我真的很同情你
Jesus christ, I really feel for you.
好了 够了
Okay. that’s enough.
别听他们的
Don’t listen to them, all right?
只要你高兴 想穿披肩你就穿披肩
Do what makes you happy. You want to wear a cape? Wear a cape.
想穿盔甲就穿盔甲 谁会在乎呢
You want to wear a suit of armor? Who gives a shit?
知道吗
You know what?
如果我早知道你是来挑拨离间的
I would never have invited you over for moussaka
我就不该留你吃晚餐 不好意思
If I’d known you were gonna be such a prick. Excuse me.
奥基 别理他们
Augie, screw them.
去做你喜欢的事
Do what makes you happy.
去做你喜欢的 -老兄
Do what makes you happy. -Hey, buddy…
请你离开吧
I’d like you to leave now, please.
我觉得你们应该
I figure you’re probably
不会再给我签义工表了
Not gonna sign my hours sheet now.
去死吧你
Go fuck yourself.
我就知道 奥基 对不起
That’s what I thought. hey, Augie, I’m sorry.
给我滚蛋
Get the hell out.
如果他是我孩子 我会很关心他的 -快走
I’d be psyched if he was my kid. -Please.
你知道吗 甜心
And you know what, sweetheart?
你是我们的孩子 我们很关心你
It’s not that we’re not psyched that you’re our kid.
我们爱你 我爱你 我不能忍♥受
We’re psyched. I’m so psyched, I can’t stand it.
你妈很在意你 因为你是她的孩子
Your mom’s psyched that you’re her kid.
我能先离开吗 妈妈
May I please be excused, mom?
罗尼 去哪了
Hey. where’s Ronnie?
罗尼是谁 老兄
Who’s Ronnie, dude?
该死 罗尼
Oh, shit. Ronnie!
罗尼
Ronnie.
你好呀兄弟 -你好
What’s up, man? -Hey. how you doing?
谁看见和我一起来的小孩了
Anybody see the little kid I was with?
我是凯伦 罗尼的妈妈
This is karen, Ronnie’s mother.
罗尼本该在几小时之前就回来了
Ronnie was supposed to be home a few hours ago.
还是我凯伦
This is Karen again.
你能给我打电♥话♥告诉我你们在哪吗
Can you guys please call me and let me know where you are?
罗尼刚刚回来 他居然是走回来的
Ronnie just got in. He walked all the way home. What the hell…
你们别干了 -听着
You’re out. -Look…
不 不 不 结束了 你们搞砸了
No, no, no, no. it’s over. You blew it. it’s done. okay?
我知道你的意思 我们很抱歉
I hear what you’re saying. we’re very sorry,
但是我们只差11个小时了
but we’re 11 hours short.
你们还少11个小时吗 我不知道
And you’re gonna stay 11 hours short, okay? I don’t know.
但是孩子们的父母 不想你们再带他们了
Parents don’t want you hanging around with their kids
一定有内情
for some reason.
所以你们两被退回了
So you bsed a bser.
看看你们 你们俩还自我感觉良好 他妈的
Good for you! I hope you feel good about yourself, god damn it!
你们知道吗 我本可以回纽约
You know, I could be back in New york
在小村吸着可♥卡♥因♥ 但我却没有
Doing cocaine in the village, but I’m not.
知道为什么吗 孩子是第一位的
You know why? Kids come first.
他们对你们来说不是第一位的 是吗
They don’t come first for you, do they?
对你们来说他们排在自私的后面
They come second to your selfishness.
那你们俩怎么不回家去
So why don’t you two guys go home,
收起你们所说的
Put down some lines of selfishness,
虚伪的话语
Which is your blow,
拉上窗帘 扔掉电♥话♥
Close the shades, take the phone off the hook,
喝个酩酊大醉
Grab a straw and snort?
还有 别指望我帮你们作证
And don’t expect me to testify on your behalf.
你们根本不是合格的乘风之翼协会成员
You’re not sturdy wings material.
看来你们俩得坐牢了
I think you guys are gonna have to go to jail.
我们现在唯一能做的
The only thing we can do now
就是在听证会上表明你们已经尽力了
Is make a case at the hearing that you did your best.
而我也会尽我做为一个律师应尽的义务
It’s gonna take some serious lawyering on my part.
拜托了贝丝 好好帮我们辩护
Yeah. Beth, please. Lawyer the shit out of it.
但我什么也不能保证
I just can’t promise anything.
什么事惠勒 -提问
Yes, wheeler? -Question.
也许这问题有点愚蠢 但我搞不明白
Maybe a stupid one, but I’m just spit-balling here.
能让我们免受牢狱之灾
The get out of jail free card,
是光看以前的表现 还是
Is that based on something that exists or…
这个问题并不愚蠢
That wasn’t a stupid question.
这是现实
That’s real.
虚幻也是来源现实
It’s real in the game of monopoly.
是的 以现实为标准
Yeah, it’s based on true events.
你什么意思
How… what do you mean?
我们还有机会
Chance.
真不敢相信 我们会坐牢
I can’t believe we’re going to jail.
接受现实吧
Believe it.
也许你该转两圈
Hey, maybe you’ll roll doubles. you know?
如果还不信 就再转一圈
If not, you just miss three turns.
商用表情 老兄
Game face, bro.
我告诉过你 商用表情
I told you. game face.
别提什么商用表情了 好吗
Enough with the game face, all right?
这又不是沙滩排球
This isn’t beach volleyball.
不是吗 如果你仔细想想
Is it not? Because, if you think about it,