我可以安定下来
♪ I can settle down ♪
♪做得很好♪
♪ and be doing just fine ♪
♪直到我听到一辆旧火车的声音……♪
♪ till I hear an old train… ♪
我喜欢这辆车。
I love this car.
我羡慕你的车。
I’m having car envy.
我们都在不停地谈论电影中的消失点。
We were both, like, constantly talking about that movie vanishing point.
他也喜欢快车。
He liked fast cars, as well.
我喜欢快车。
I love fast cars.
然后我们成了多年的笔友，什么都聊。
And then we became pen pals really for years and, um, talked about everything.
他的整个人格就是一个探索者。
His whole entire personality was that of a searcher.
我只知道他肯定在找什么东西，而且…但你要明白
I just know that he was definitely searching for something, and-and… ♪ But you gotta understand ♪
这对他来说是一种痛苦。
it was kind of agony for him.
当主造我的时候
♪ When the lord made me ♪
♪他造了一个漫步的人…♪
♪ he made a ramblin’ man… ♪
就是这种无情的本能把好事搞砸了。
It’s this relentless instinct to fuck up a good thing.
我认为这是电视上的人，写作的人，烹饪的人都会分享的东西。
I think it’s something that people on TV, people who write, people who cook, share.
给予和接受爱的困难…他们只是不知道该怎么做。
This difficulty in giving love and receiving love… They just don’t quite know how to do it.
很多人都很喜欢他。
A lot of people loved him a lot.
我不知道他信不信。
I don’t know if he believed it.
你觉得呢?
So, what do you think?
我的意思是，从形而上学的角度来说，当你回顾你的一生…-是的。
I mean, in a metaphysical way, – when you look back on your life… – Yeah.
对我来说，我总是感到有点不安，就像……你觉得自己受的苦还不够多——或者你做的还不够多……-这他妈是怎么回事?
For me, I always feel this little unease, like, you know… You feel you haven’t suffered enough yet – or you haven’t done enough… – How the fuck did this happen?
是的。——你知道吗?
– Or yeah. – You know?
-这是怎么发生的?——没有。
– How-how’d this happen, you know? – No.
不,我知道。
No, I know.
我还是很好奇。
I’m still curious.
你看起来是个很好奇的人。
You seem like a curious person.
-这是我唯一的美德。——你……那就这样吧。
– It’s my only virtue. – You’re… there you go.
好吧。
All right.
好奇是一件好事。
Curious is a good thing to be.
给你的生活…什么让你兴奋?
Given your life… What thrills you?
现在是什么让你这么激动?
What just thrills the shit out of you now?
呃，这很尴尬，但真的很尴尬。。。被爱，并真正感激那些给予我爱的人。
Uh, this is very embarrassing, but… it’s really embar… Being loved and actually appreciating the people that are giving that to me.
你们准备好了，摄像机就开始了。——好的。
Whenever you guys are ready, – the cameras are rolling. – All right.
我们准备好了。
We’re ready to go.
好了，你起来了?
All right, you’re up?
那么，我们说到哪儿了?
So, uh, where are we?
但是不要提到那个地方的名字。
But don’t mention the name of the place.
-我是说，把餐巾翻过来…——没有。为什么?
– I mean, turning the napkin over… – No. Why?
好吧,我们不…你不会想把这里炸了的。
Well, we don’t… you don’t want to blow this place up.
我才不管呢。
I don’t give a shit.
你在这吃了多久了?
I mean, you’ve been eating here for how long?
从我还是个孩子的时候。
Since I was a, since I was a kid.
所以你来这里看到的只有美国人?
So you would come in here and see nothing but Americans?
除了吗?
Nothing but?
——除了?——好吧,是的。
– Nothing but? – Well, yeah.
-我是说，只是一群…-是的，这样就没人敢打我了。
– I mean, just an army of… – Well, yes, so nobody busts my balls.
好吧,。我们在…所以，放弃吧。
Okay, then. We are at the… So, giving up on that.
好吧。好了。
Okay. There we go.
你们家几代人都是电影制♥作♥人?
H-How many generations of filmmakers in your family?
嗯,很多。
Mm, a lot.
欢呼。
Cheers.
当托尼遇到亚西亚时，他说，“她是最棒的。”天啊，她太棒了。”
When Tony met Asia, he’s like, “she’s the best. Oh, my god, she’s so great.”
你知道，就像你在高中的时候你第一次跟人上♥床♥什么的。
You know, and, like, when you were in high school and you got laid for the first time or something.
你知道，当生活像电影一样的时候我最开心。
You know, I’m happiest when life is kind of like a film.
所以你在幻想中很快乐。
So, y-you’re happy in the illusion.
-因为电影是幻觉。——是的。
– ‘Cause film is an illusion. – Yes.
是的,我是。
Yeah, I am.
不,我也是。我理解你。
No, me, too. I-I understand you.
他和她在一起似乎很幸福。
He seemed really happy with her.
我当时想，他找到了他想要的人。
You know, I was like, well, he found someone he wants to be with.
我为他感到高兴。
You know, I’m happy for him.
他告诉我，她对他们的关系很没有安全感，所以他就叫我不要再把我们的照片发到社交媒体上。
He told me that she was very insecure about their relationship, so he just asked me to stop posting pictures of us on social media.
我觉得他真的认为他在做正确的事确保他爱的人有安全感。
And-and I think he really thought he was doing the right thing to make sure that the person he loved felt secure.
这是正常的冲动吗?
Is that a normal urge?
——对人类?-我想做正常人?
– For humans? – I want to be normal?
我想和其他人一样吗?
I want to be like everybody else?
当我还是个孩子的时候，我有点想和其他人一样，至少有一段时间。
I kind of wanted to be like everybody else when I was a kid, at least for a while.
我不明白为什么我不能。
I-I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be.
我认为当人们有归属感时，他们会更快乐。
I think people are happier when they feel like they belong somewhere.
-我只是…-这就是为什么我从来没有快乐过，因为我觉得我从来没有归属感。
– I just, i-i… – That’s why I’m never happy because I feel I never belong.
我知道她是谁，但他从不提她的名字。
I knew who she was, but he never would use her name.
他会在所有邮件里说”疯狂的意大利女演员”
He would say “crazy Italian actress” in all the emails.
我只知道他给我写过几次信说结局会非常非常糟糕，那是很久以前的事了。
All I know is that he wrote to me a few times and said that it was gonna end very, very badly, and that was way back.
嗯，他知道。
Um, he knew it.
哦!
Oh!
我带你去最好的地方。
I bring you to the best places.
他妈的米其林。
Fuck michelin.
米其林吗?
Michelin?
他的上一段感情，我想当你审视它的时候，就不会那么惊讶了。
His last relationship, I guess when you look at it, it’s not that surprising.
在很多方面，它从一开始就给人一种椭圆的感觉。
In many ways, it feels elliptical from the-the very beginning.
现在，你们可能会问，“这和食物有什么关系?”我才不知道呢。
Now, some of you might ask, “how is this food-related?” Fuck if I know.
我想如果我的头骨被石头砸碎了，我的一部分就会成为食物链的一部分。
I guess if I crushed my skull on a rock, parts of me will become part of the food chain.
这是一个，在它的中心，嗯，有极端。
It was one that had, at its center, um, extremes.
就好像他感觉不到中间地带。
It’s as if he can’t feel in the mid-zone.
生活就是要找到一个值得一跳的悬崖。
You know, life is about finding a cliff worth jumping off.
我觉得他好像在说”我要去找些野性的东西”
I felt he was like, “I’m gonna look for something feral and wild.”
也许这与年龄有关，突然发现自己很孤单。
Perhaps that is something to do with age and all of a sudden finding yourself alone.
这个叫做，嗯…-你们起来了吗?-你为什么拍我?
This is called, um… – Are you guys up? – Why are you filming me?
这就叫做“我们的狼女之花”。
This is called “our wolf lady of the wolf flowers.”
啊,太好了。
Ah, that’s great.
我床上有个叫约翰·卢瑞的。
You know, I have a-a John lurie over my bed.
我看到了。不，是你发的。
I saw. No, you posted it.
你发这个帖子很好。
That was nice that you posted that.
不，我很喜欢。这让我非常非常高兴。
No, I love it. It makes me very, very happy.
——不是吗?-是的。
– Does it? – Yes, it does.
所以他有黑色幽默。
So he had a dark sense of humor.
他不是埃德加·爱伦·坡。你懂我的意思吗?他……他周围有很多光。
He wasn’t Edgar Allan poe. You know what I mean? He… There was a lot of light around him.
确实是。
There really was.
带来另一个。
Bring another one.
不。我的意思是，尤其是，比如，我离开了，然后我回来——然后我走进我的房♥间……-就是这个，对，对。
No. I mean, especially, like, I’m away and I come back – and I walk into my room… – There it is, yeah, yeah.
我感觉……房♥间的震动频率让我感到舒适和快乐。
I-It feels… The room vibrates at a frequency that makes me comfortable and-and happy.
那很酷。
That’s cool.
谢谢你！鸡蛋，完美的食物。
Thank you. Eggs, the perfect food.
-谢谢，先生-吃吧
– Thank you, sir. – Eat that.
我们本来要吃午饭的。
We were supposed to have lunch.
我说:“我想去一个安静的地方，没有人认识我们。”
And I said, “I want to go somewhere quiet where nobody knows us.”
他突然停了下来，说:“我开始有广场恐惧症了。”
And he just sort of stopped in his tracks and said, “I’m becoming agoraphobic.”
然后我看到他脸上的痛苦。
And then I saw the pain in his face.
也许他需要一段时间远离这一切反思一下然后再重新开始?
Maybe he needed some time away from it all to reflect a minute and then start again kind of thing, you know?
我不…他好像要去做别的事了。
I don’t… It seemed like he was about to go on to something else.
他的生命开始变得越来越渺小。
His life started to feel smaller and smaller.
他不能去那么多地方。
He couldn’t go as many places.
他不可能经常出现在公众场合。
He couldn’t be out in public as much.
我能看见他逐渐消瘦下去。
I could see him whittle away.
所以，像阿♥拉♥伯沙漠的空区这样的地方开始真正引起他的共鸣。
So, places like the empty quarter of the arabian desert started to really resonate for him.
坐在世界上最大的沙漠边缘，凝视着它……感觉这是比他更重要的事而不是关于他的。
To just sit on the edge of the largest sand desert in the world and stare out into it… feeling like it’s something that’s bigger than him and not about him.
他经常说，在一个理想的世界里，他不会出现在剧中。
He often talked about how, in an ideal world, he wouldn’t be in the show.
这是他的视角，就像在太空中移♥动♥的摄像机，根本看不到他。
Uh, it would be his point of view, like a camera moving through space, without having to see him at all.
“旅行并不总是美好的。”
“Travel isn’t always pretty.”
“你走开。你学习。”
“You go away. You learn.”
“在这个过程中，你会伤痕累累，留下印记，改变自己。”
“You get scarred, marked, changed in the process.”
“它甚至会让你心碎。”
“It even breaks your heart.”
他非常紧张，非常疲惫，非常疲惫。
He was very stressed and very weary and very exhausted.
他确实说过要辞职。
He did talk about quitting.
大概是几年前的事了。
It happened like a couple of years ago.
他约我和克里斯在酒吧见面。
He asked to see Chris and I at a bar.
非常戏剧化。
It was very dramatic.
他说”我不能再这样生活了”
He was like, “I can’t live my life like this anymore.”
“我做的。我受够了。我受够你们这些人了。
“I’m done. I’m done with this. I’m done with you people.
