流浪者：一部关于安东尼·波登的电影（2021）

然后我们在乌菲兹画廊看荷洛芬的斩首，也就是对强♥奸♥她的人的斩首，就发生在温斯坦被捕的那天。
And then we’re in the uffizi gallery looking at the beheading of holofernes, which is literally the beheading of her rapist, and it’s happening the day that weinstein gets arrested.
韦恩斯坦多次否认所有指控。
Weinstein has repeatedly denied all allegations.
这是非凡的。
It was extraordinary.
大家都把美杜莎看作是脑袋里有蛇的邪恶女人的象征，但是，她是强♥奸♥受害者。
Everybody takes medusa as the symbol of the evil woman with snakes in her head, but, uh, she was, uh, a rape victim.
她必须保护自己。
And she had to protect herself.
你知道吗，那些惹怒别人的有权势又麻烦的女人总是被画成美杜莎。
You know, powerful, inconvenient women who piss people off are inevitably caricatured as medusa.
是的。
Yeah.
我说下一个。
I’m-I’m next.
我本来不想说的。
I wasn’t gonna say it.
-这只是时间问题。——嗯。
– It’s only a matter of time. – Hmm.
这是不可思议的。
It’s incredible.
我也是!
Me too!
我们的故事是真的!
Our stories are true!
我们说我也是!
We say me too!
我是说，一开始他很高尚，你知道吗?
I mean, at first it was, like, very noble of him, you know?
这是一个很好的理由。
And it was a good cause.
但后来他成了……是的，他对它很着迷。
But then he became… Yeah, he became obsessed with it.
你用一种很多人不会用的方式来谈论它。
You’re talking about it in a way that many people wouldn’t.
如果一个朋友在五年前说了些什么，可能会……可能也会冒犯到我，因为他会，把他们从他的生活中赶出去。
To the point where if a friend said something five years ago that would maybe… Might be offensive to the me too cause, he would just, like, cut them out of his life.
在这个问题上，我几乎是冷酷无情的。——正确的。
I’m pretty much ming the merciless – on this issue right now. – Right.
朋友和创意伙伴……他没跟他们商量就把他们扔到车底下了。
Friends and creative partners… He threw them under the bus without any sort of consultation or anything.
我的意思是，在他生命的那个阶段并没有太多的细微差别。
I mean, there was not much nuance when it got to that point of his life.
我看到的是他把一个终生上瘾的人格变成了另一个人。
What I saw was him turn what was a lifelong addictive personality to another person.
这是非常危险的。
And that was extremely dangerous.
他表现得就像个孩子，他不明白如果你不停地堆积，堆积，堆积，堆积，堆积会把人赶走的。
He was acting like a kid who didn’t understand that you’re gonna drive someone away if you just pile on and pile on and pile on.
——是的。但是我……-真的，你做过的十大最热门的事情是在罗马停车。
– Yes. But-but what I… – Really, the top ten hottest things you’ve ever done is park in Rome.
什么,就像……她说”你现在可以停在这里” “但一小时后你就不能停在这里了”-是的。
What, like… she was like, “you could park here now, – “but in an hour you can’t park here.” – Yeah.
“我们现在可以脱身了。”
“We can get away with this now.”
我想”这真是太他妈酷了”
I thought, “this is the fucking coolest thing.”
他一直在说她停车的能力。
He won’t stop fucking talking about her ability to park.
就像”你真是个好帕克。
It’s like, “you’re such a good Parker.
“你把车停得真好。你停得真好。
“Y-You park so well. You park so well.
你的平行泊车技术真好。”
You parallel park so well.”
她说”伙计，我可不想因为我的停车技术而出名”
And she’s like, “dude, I don’t want to be known for my parking skills.”
就像，你可以看到她在退缩，而他就是不肯停下来。
Like, you can see her pulling back, and he just won’t stop.
我们玩得很开心。
We’re having so much fun.
完成了。
Done.
真是天才，兄弟。
And it was genius, bro.
我跟你说，奥斯卡上见。
I’m telling you, see you at the oscars, yo.
和他说再见是我见过他最开心的事。
Saying goodbye to him is the happiest I felt like I had ever seen him.
巨大的拥抱。
Huge hugs.
他说:“我爱你。”
He was like, “I love you.”
“我喜欢和你一起工作。我们还有很长的路要走。
“I love working with you. We got years ahead of us.
我很期待。”
I’m looking forward to it.”
你不希望他的遗产给人的印象是…就像这样……
You don’t want his legacy to come off as, like, somebody who… Succumbed to, like, this…
黑暗。
darkness.
那不是他。
That wasn’t him.
他创造了一件非常重要的东西。
Like, he created something that was so important.
我希望……那真的需要…那是他一生的遗产。
And I want… that really needs to be, like… That is the legacy of his life.
而不是他最后做的蠢事。
Not this stupid bullshit act that he did at the end.
我们如何接受……发生了什么事?
How do we come to terms with… what happened?
嗯。这是我不会说的。
Hmm. That’s something I don’t speak about.
法国发生了什么。
What happened in France.
从哪里开始呢?
Um, where to start?
我们的场景和拍摄方式……你知道，就像托尼和埃里克。
The kind of scenes that we had and what kind of shoot it was… You know, it was, like, Tony and Eric.
轻松,有趣。
Lighthearted, funny.
嗯…哇。哇。
Um… Wow. Wow.
——听着,男人。听。-你嘲笑我。
– Listen, man. Listen. – And you mocked me.
我们大概有四天了。
We’re probably like four days in.
托尼来了，他刚…很明显只是有点生气。
Tony arrives, and he is just… Palpably sort of like just angry.
和…场景有点…它需要一个黑暗的转折。
And… The scene sort of… It takes a dark turn.
他们说要死了，被热狗噎死之类的。
Uh, they’re talking about dying, choking on a hot dog or something like that.
他回过头来看着我，我们眼神交流。
He kind of looks back at me, and we kind of make eye contact.
在我的记忆里，它非常绝望。
In-in my memory now, it’s very desperate.
我给海伦打了电♥话♥，一份关于亚洲和另一个人的小报出来了。
I called Helen, and this tabloid shit’s come out about Asia and this other person.
托尼又走到阳台上，望着山谷，他好像在抽烟，有点孤单。
Tony goes over to this balcony again, looking over this valley, and he’s, like, smoking, and he’s kind of alone.
我走到那里，然后说，嘿，伙计，你还好吗?
I go out there, and I’m like, “hey, man, how are you doing?
“你知道，这是不是，就像……这些是小报的人吗，”在耍你们吗?
“You know, is this just, like… Are these just tabloid people, “like, fucking with you guys?
比如，你知道……发生了什么?”
Like how, you know… What’s happening?”
然后，他停顿了一下……然后他就说”小心点”
And then, like, he pauses… and he just says, “a little fucking discretion.”
对吧?我就想”嘿，伙计，我只是…”
Right? And I was like, “hey, man, I’m just…”
他说”不，伙计，不是你”
He’s like, “no, man, not you.”
就像，“我他妈的不想处理这个……这些该死的……”
It’s like, “I don’t want to have to fucking deal with this… these fucking…”
你知道，他说的是亚洲。
You know, he’s talking about Asia.
他甚至连看都不看我一眼。
He didn’t even look at me.
你知道，他就像，就像，你知道，就像，就像，就像，就像，就像”操”
You know, he’s just kind of, like, just, you know, smoking and just sort of looking out and just like, “fuck.”
我真希望当时我能多跟他说点什么。
I wish I had said more to him in that moment.
你知道，托尼有很长一段时间都不好。
You know, Tony hasn’t been all right for a long time.
他开玩笑说要结束自己的生命…他一直在追那鬼东西。
The amount that he joked about the end of his life and… He’s been chasing that shit forever.
薯片不新鲜。
Potato chips are stale.
现在好沮丧，我想自杀。
So depressed right now, I feel like killing myself.
他是个该死的跑步者。
He’s a fucking runner.
我是说，他跑了很长时间，但你不会战胜疼痛的。
I mean, he ran for a long time, but you’re not gonna outsmart pain.
我很确定那根杆子能支撑我的体重。
I’m pretty sure that pole will support my body weight.
——什么?-如果我上吊的话。
– What? – If I fucking hang myself.
我想很多人都会想到它，就像，因为他知道怎么做……我是说，我不知道。
I think it pops into a lot of people’s heads, and it’s just like, since he knew how to do it… I mean, I don’t know.
首先，他是个讲故事的人。
He’s a storyteller for one thing.
一个讲故事的人怎么能不留下字条就结♥帐♥呢?
How does a storyteller check out without leaving a note?
但我觉得，在某种程度上，他会写下他的结局，他也确实这么做了。
But I think, in some regard, he was gonna write his end, which is what he did.
如果你看他在Instagram上的最后一个故事，他播放了70年代电影《暴♥力♥城市》的主题曲。
If you look at his last Instagram story, he played the title sequence music from this ’70s film violent city.
如果你看过这部电影，你就会知道电影的开头是一系列狗仔队对这对夫妇的照片。
And if you’ve seen the film, you know that the beginning is a series of paparazzi photos of this couple.
我是说，这是一部复仇电影。
I mean, it’s a revenge film.
讲的是一个背叛他的女人他想要复仇。
It’s about this woman who betrays him and him seeking revenge.
我是说，都在那儿。
I mean, it’s-it’s all there.
我很谨慎地去责怪那个女人，就像，你知道的…或者责怪情人或丈夫。
I’m very cautious to be like, uh, blame the woman for, like, you know… Or blame the lover or blame the husband.
你知道吗，托尼自杀了。
You know, Tony killed himself.
托尼做了。
Tony did it.
我哥哥自杀了。
My brother committed suicide.
我觉得如果当时有人进过他的房♥间，那就可能是谋杀而不是自杀。
I think if somebody else had been in his room, it might’ve been a murder and not a suicide.
我觉得他只是暴怒了这是唯一的出路。
I think he was just in an explosive anger and-and this was the only way out.
当你选择上吊时，这是一种折磨。
When you choose to hang yourself, it’s a torture.
自我折磨。
Self-imposed torture.
如果他喝醉了，就容易理解多了。
If he was fucking drunk, it’d be a lot easier to understand.
毒理学报告显示他是清白的，清醒的。
The toxicology report was he’s clean and sober.
我认为这是一个明确的决定。
I think it was a clear decision.
这只是一时的疏忽，我认为他没有权衡利弊。
It was a momentary lapse, and I don’t think he weighed the pros and cons.
如果他能挺过那晚，你知道吗?
If he had just made it through that night, you know?
我们如此努力地去理解它，因为我们认为如果我们能理解它，我们就会接受它。
We’re trying so hard to understand, because we think if we can understand it, then we’ll be okay with it.
事实是，不，我想我们还不知道。
And the fact of the matter is, no, I don’t think we get to know.
我们不知道。
We don’t get to know.
这是一个很难回答的问题。
That’s tough.
我不知道他现在在哪，但是…他让我失望了。
Well, I don’t know where he is right now, but… He let me down.
他……
He…
我不认为他残忍♥，你知道吗?
I don’t think he was cruel, you know?
这是一种残忍♥的行为。
And there’s, like, a cruelty to that.
每个人都该怎么做?
What the hell is everyone supposed to do?
他自杀已经两年多了，但我仍然有各种各样的情绪。
It’s been over two years since he took his own life, and I still experience a range of emotions.
嗯…
Um…
神。
God.
这就像……他死后我就没剪过头发。
It’s like… I haven’t fucking cut my hair since he died.
喜欢,我……我只是想他了。
Like, i-i… I just miss him.
我想念一个朋友，一个亲爱的朋友。
I miss a friend, a dear friend.
我想起了很多我们在一起的快乐时光。
I think about a lot of happy moments we had together.
大多数情况下,是的。
Mostly, yeah.
我在越南，天气很好。
I was in Vietnam on a beautiful day.
我看了看手♥机♥，上面有新闻。
I looked at my phone, and there was the news.
就在那时，我决定永远搬到越南去。
And, uh, that’s when I decided to move to Vietnam for good.
这是……甚至连想都不敢想。
That was the… It was not even a thought.
那扇门打开了，我必须穿过它，开始做一些新的事情。
It was the door opened and I had to go through it and start doing something new.
我听着这张令我想起他而流泪的唱片。
I was listening to this record that brought me to tears thinking of him.