哈啦上路（2000）

你谢谢
– Hey, have mine.
– Thanks.
他真是个可爱的小家伙
Isn’t he just
the cutest little thing?
啊，凯尔是个好样的！
Oh, yeah, Kyle’s the man!
你从未有过？一次也没有？
You mean never? Not even once?
我是说…有过
Well… I mean, I’ve had sex before.
但是…不是与人
Just, um,
明白了
Right.
噢…我觉得那很潇洒
Well, I think that’s kinda cool.
你真的？
你真的
– You do?
– Yeah.
我是说你应该忍♥耐
第一次应该很特别
I mean, you should hold out.
It should be special.
有了爱情再做
Wait till you’re in love.
我想我爱你
I think I love you.
你真可爱
You are so cute.
我想你没有避孕套
I take it you don’t have a condom?
没有，我用光了
Um, I guess I’m all out.
噢，劳伦斯应该有
Well, Lawrence probably has some.
拉开那个抽屉看看
Why don’t you try that drawer?
在香水旁边，皮带后面
Next to the Old Spice,
behind the belts.
猜对了
Good guess.
你知道吗？
You know what?
我不太清楚…我在做什么…
Um, I don’t exactly know
what I’m doing and, um…
我…
I’m… Oof.
放松，宝贝儿，让朗达照顾你
Shhh. Relax, baby.
Let Rhonda handle this.
你谢谢，我很开心
你保重
– Thanks for a great time.
– Take care.
保持静
Stay cool.
嗨，德文
Hey, Devon.
怎么啦？
What’s up?
田纳西州盟菲斯
凯尔，详细招来
发生了什么事？
Let’s go, Kyle.
We want details. What happened?
我们喝了几杯酒
Well, we had a few drinks,
跳了会儿舞，你知道…
danced a little, and, you know…
我们不知道，快告诉我们
No, we don’t know.
Why don’t you tell us?
这是什么？你杀了个小妞？
Did you kill a cheetah?
是她的内♥裤♥，她送给我的
What? No. These are her underwear.
She gave ’em to me.
我♥干♥了她
I boinked her!
干了她？
Boinked?
你刚才说“干了”吗？
Yeah, did you just say
the word “boinked?”
凯尔，希望你别再想干了
I hope you got the boinking
out of your system,
今天我们要赶很长的路
cos we got a lot of driving
to do today.
别奢望去探访猫王故居
Do not get your hopes up
about visiting Graceland,
因为我们有重要任务
cos we’re about the mission at hand.
你乔希
你什么事？
– Josh.
– What?
计划不错，但有个小问题
That sounds like a good plan,
except for one little thing.
你什么小问题？
你我们没钱了
– What little thing?
– We’re out of money.
填表前我先问你们几个问题
OK, before you fill out these,
I have to ask some questions.
合格的话才可以捐精
If you qualify, you can
make a sperm deposit. Understood?
问吧
Mm-hmm. Fire away.
老实回答，否则没有报酬
你们骗不过检验
Tell the truth, because if you don’t
the test will and you won’t get paid.
在过去的36个小时内
有没有用过药.物？
So, first off, have any of you
done any drugs in the past 36 hours?
这也包括大♥麻♥
And that includes marijuana.
好，下个是
(Nurse ) OK, next.
在过去的24小时内
有没有性行为或自渎？
Have any of you had sex
or masturbated in the past 24 hours?
那，我不合格
Well, I guess I’m out.
因为我昨晚性♥交♥过…
Because I had sex last night…
跟一个女孩子！
with a girl! (Grunting)
这很好
That’s nice.
文件夹里有你们需要的一切
You’ll find everything you need
in these binders.
你们每人拿个杯子
Would you each take a cup.
你好
你这是你的
– OK.
– And yours.
完事后请送回来
I’d appreciate it if you’d
return those after you’re finished.
好，谢谢
OK. Uh, thanks.
谢谢
Cheers.
对不起，有亚洲女人的吗？
Excuse me. Do you have anything
with Asian women?
我很喜欢亚洲妹
这里面却没有
I have this thing for Asian chicks,
and there’s none here.
这儿不是窥视院
我们的材料有限
This isn’t Peep World.
Our selection is limited.
你你凑合着干吧
你好
– You’re gonna have to make do.
– OK.
你已经帮我不少了
You’ve been more than helpful.
有什么问题吗？
Is something wrong?
噢，没有
Well, no.
但…我感觉到…
But…I just couldn’t help
but notice that…
我们之间有点儿什么？
Is there something between us?
我想，或者你可以…
I mean, I was thinking
that maybe you might want to…
我不知道…给我一点…
I don’t know…
help me out with a little…
转业辅♥导♥？
professional assistance?
你需要我帮忙吗？
Do you need some help?
对，我需要
Yes, I do.
莫里斯大夫，请拨118
(Woman on PA)
‘Dr Morris, dial 1-1-8, please.
莫里斯大夫，请拨118
‘Dr Morris, please dial 1-1-8.’
我一看见你，便觉得你真棒
The moment I saw you out there,
I thought you were incredible.
你跟我认识的女孩不一样
你是真正的女人
You’re not like most of the girls
I know. You’re a woman.
好，转过身，脱下裤子
双手放在床上
That’s fine. Turn around, drop your
pants, hands flat on the table.
哎哟，天啊
(Chuckling) Oh, my God.
你太好了，这样？
你对
– This is great. Wow. Like this?
– Exactly.
我得坦白，我喜欢你穿制♥服♥
(Sighs ) I have to admit,
I love you in that uniform.
你的丝♥袜♥到腰还是到大腿？
Do those nylons go all the way up,
or are they, like thigh high?
我要开始挤压前列腺
I’m gonna perform a procedure
called milking the prostate.
是从肛♥门♥引导射♥精♥
It’s an anally-induced ejaculation.
肛♥门♥？
Anal?
你的直肠会感到有压力
You’re gonna feel strong pressure
from inside your rectum.
来，你别跟我讲科学，宝贝儿
Come on, you don’t have
to get all scientific, baby.
我是说，我们可以谈…
停下！好，继续干！
Stop! OK, keep doin’ it. Yaaah!
就那儿！
(EL) Right there! Ahhh!
啊，天啊！
Oh, my God! Ohhh!
好，完事了
OK. All done.
这好厉害！
That was awesome!
等等，真的可以吗？
Wait. Wait. Does that work?
我是说，医学上真有可能吗？
I mean,
is it even medically possible?
对，当然可以
Oh, yeah, it works.
万试万灵
It works like a charm.
继续讲故事吧
But back to our story.