哈啦上路（2000）

哈拉上路
欢迎光临艾菲嘉大学
(Man) Welcome to the University
of Ithaca. This is it, right here.
我今天带大家好好参观一下
I’m gonna give you a good tour today.
尽量带你们看看你们需要看的
Show you as much as you need to know.
这是学校的主校园
This is the main area
of the university.
你们将会适应这个地方
You’ll be getting used to this area.
这是同学们聚会的地方
This is sort of where you congregate.
大家过来，靠近点儿
Come in around me. Keep close.
以前有人掉过队，知道吗？
I’ve had problems
with stragglers before, OK?
落在后面被车撞了
They get lost in the back
and hit by trucks, OK?
这不太好，这是…
It’s not pretty. This is the…
这是乔瑟夫.H.尼尔逊图书馆
By the way, this is the Joseph
H Nelson Memorial Library here, OK?
建于…十七世纪
It was built, uh…
It was built, uh, in the 1600s.
十七世纪？这儿写着1951
1600s? It says 1951.
那是地址，小聪明
That’s the address. OK? Wise-ass.
那是心理系
That’s the psychology department.
你们都要自愿参加尖端的实验
You’re expected to volunteer for
cutting-edge experimental testing.
很好玩的
Kind of cool.
到时记住穿宽松衫，别带金属
When it’s your turn, remember
to wear loose clothes, no metal,
做好接受多次强电击的准备
and be prepared to receive several
heavy doses of electric current.
他们现在正在注视我们
They’re watching us right now.
那边儿是英文系
Over there
is the department of English.
你们大部分都说英语
我就不介绍了
Most of you speak English already
so we can skip that.
你在这儿多久了？
八年
– How long have you been here?
– Eight years.
你看起来知道得不多
这是最差的一次参观
You don’t seem to know anything.
This is the worst tour ever.
这是最差的学校
这里有过瘾的事儿吗？
It’s the worst school ever.
Doesn’t anything cool happen?
有，当然有
Yeah, cool stuff happens.
这是世界上最有趣的大学
This university
is the coolest place in the world.
这是因为他没见过世面
That’s because
he’s never been anywhere else.
笑吧，笑个够好了
Go ahead, laugh all you want.
但实情是，最伟大的故事
就发生在这儿
But the fact is, this is the setting
for the greatest story ever told.
知道吗？
OK?
是我认识的一个人
乔希帕克
It’s about this guy I knew,
Josh Parker,
以及他的女友渧芬妮的故事
and his girlfriend, Tiffany.
这是最有趣的旅途之一
It’s one of the most
fascinating journeys ever.
乔希和渧芬妮青梅竹马
‘Josh and Tiffany
were always together,
从小就在一起
‘starting from when they were little.
他们总是一起做事
‘They did everything as a team.
渧芬妮十岁那年割扁桃体
‘When Tiffany was 10,
she had her tonsils taken out.
乔希在医院陪了她三天
‘Josh stayed in the hospital
for three days.
他们是最要好的朋友
‘They were best friends.
纯真的友情逐渐开花结果…
‘What started out as friendship…
演变成接吻与爱抚
‘blossomed into some serious French
kissing and lots of heavy petting.
他们常常在一起
以致他俩的狗也开始约会了
‘They spent so much time together
that even their dogs started dating.
他们似乎.注定一生都要在一起
‘They seemed destined
to be together forever.
但高中毕业后
他们面临着最严峻的考验
‘But after high school, they faced
the most challenging challenge ever –
海角天涯的关系
‘a long-distance relationship.
乔希进了美妙的艾菲嘉大学
‘See, while Josh was enrolled here at
the wonderful University of Ithaca,
渧芬妮去了德州
奥斯丁兽医学院
‘Tiffany went off to
veterinary school in Austin, Texas.
但他们盟誓要彼此忠诚
‘But they made a pact,
a promise to stay true to each other,
每日通电，不见异思迁
‘to talk every day and maintain
an exclusive relationship.’
他俩都没想到这实在是不容易
That turned out to be more difficult
than either of them ever imagined.
渧芬妮！嗨，宝贝儿
Tiffany! Hey, baby.
啊，上帝，你昨晚棒极了
Oh, my God.
You were amazing last night.
你我从来也没这样过
你别逗了
– I never ever came like that before.
– Come on!
真的，我今早要吃两粒避孕片
Seriously! I had to take
two birth control pills today.
今晚还来帮我复习功课吗？
You wanna help me study
again tonight?
不等今晚了，现在就来
Forget tonight. Come over now.
我们不去上课了
Let’s blow this class off.
渧芬妮和卡拉不在，请留言
‘Tiffany and Carla can’t come to the
phone but please leave a message.’
嗨，渧，又是我…
– (Beep )
– Hey, Tif, it’s me…again.
不知道你在哪儿
仍在设法与你联♥系♥
Just wonderin’ where you are.
Still trying to get hold of you.
一切都好，我再与你联♥系♥
Everything’s cool, though.
I’ll catch you later.
打电♥话♥给我，好吗？再见
Call me back, OK? OK. Bye.
录像带寄出前我想加点儿东西
I just wanted to add something
before I sent this video.
我好几天没跟你说话了…
I haven’t talked to you
in a few days and…
我想你不喜欢我了，开玩笑
I’m thinking you don’t like me…
I’m kidding.
嗨，伙计们
Hey, guys.
我开始有点担心
有空给我打电♥话♥
But I am getting a little worried so
gimme a call when you get a chance.
巴里问你好
Barry says hi.
一有空马上来电♥话♥，我想你
So gimme a call
as soon as you can. I miss you.
打电♥话♥来，好吗？再见
– Call me, OK? Bye.
– (Laughing)
你们在干什么？
没干什么，你呢？
– What’s up, guys?
– Not much. You?
我在完成给渧芬妮的录像带
I was just finishing my tape to Tif.
米切，你在干什么？饿吗？
(Barry ) Mitch, what are you doing?
Are you hungry? Huh?
你要喂它吗？
不，我在检查温度
– You gonna feed him?
– No, I’m checking the temperature.
米切需要华氏85度的恒温
Mitch needs an evenly distributed
85 degrees to survive.
我放进一只老鼠好不好？
Can I drop a mouse in?
米切每周只进一餐，在星期六
Mitch only eats once a week,
on Saturdays.
也许我们应该把老鼠剁开
Maybe we could cut a mouse in half,
现在喂一半，星期六喂一半
and we could feed him half now
and the other half on Saturday.
不，你不是有课吗？
I don’t think so.
I thought you had class now?
几点了？啊，他妈的！
What time is it? Oh, shit!
帮我个忙－
这个倒好后替我寄了，好吗？
Do me a favour –
when this is rewound, mail it for me?
没问题，放那儿吧
谢谢
– No problem. Leave it there.
– Thanks, man.
回头见
再见
– See you guys later.
– Bye.
我们现在可以喂它吗？
Can we please feed him now?
不行，它吃得太多会死的
No. If you overfeed him he could die.
怎么啦？那也值得
So? It’ll be worth it.
乔希，嗨
贝思，嗨
– Josh, hey.
– Beth, hey.
你怎么样？
还好
– What’s goin’ on?
– Not much.
你去哪儿了
没去哪儿
– Where have you been?