抚养亚利桑纳

我愿意
I do.
我当然愿意
You bet I do.
那就好
OK, then.
艾德的爸爸给了我们一个流动的家…
Ed’s pa staked us to a starter home…
在滕比市郊外…
in suburban Tempe…
我找到一份给金属片钻孔的工作
and I got a job drilling holes in sheet metal.
我们负责辅助医务工作…
We were doing paramedical work…
隶属于州公路系统
in affiliation with the state highway system.
实际上还没通车 你明白的
Not actually practicing, you understand.
我和比尔巡视到第九公里处
Me and Bill were patrolling down Nine Mile.
-比尔·罗伯兹 -不 不是那个混♥蛋♥
-Bill Roberts? -No, not that mother-scratcher.
是比尔·帕克
Bill Parker.
总之 我们走到失事地点…
Anyway, we’re approaching the wreck…
那有个球形的东西…
and there’s this spherical object…
摆在公路上…
resting in the highway…
但它不是一辆小车
and it’s not a piece of the car.
这份工作很大程度上象是在坐牢…
Most ways, the job was a lot like prison…
除了每天收工有艾德在等着之外…
except Ed was waiting at the end of every day…
每个周末会领一次薪水
and a paycheck at the end of every week.
老婆会拿走一些对不对
Government do take a bite, don’t she?
这是些快乐的日子…
These were the happy days…
“色拉日子” 就象他们说的那样
the salad days, as they say.
艾德觉得接下来生个孩子是顺理成章的事
Ed felt that having a critter was the next logical step.
她整天想着这事
It was all she thought about.
她说那会带来很多美妙的东西…
Her point was that there was too much love and beauty…
对于只有我俩的生活来说…
for just the two of us…
孩子晚一天降生到这世上…
and every day we kept a child out of the world…
也许他就会遗憾错过了一天
was a day he might later regret having missed.
那是很美妙的
That was beautiful.
因此我们在最有希望收获成果的日子里
So we worked at it on the days we calculated most likely
为此努力…
to be fruitful…
而在其他日子里努力则是为了确保这一点
and we worked at it most other days, just to be sure.
艾德为我能洗心革面感到高兴…
Ed rejoiced that my lawless years were behind me…
也为我们能尽早生育孩子高兴
and that our child-rearing years lay ahead.
然后天塌了下来
And then the roof caved in.
嗨…
Hi…
我不能生育
I’m barren!
开始我并不相信…
At first I didn’t believe it…
这个看来应该很能生养的女人…
that this woman who looked as fertile…
却象田纳西州的山谷一样…
as the Tennessee Valley…
不能承载生命
could not bear children.
但是医生解释说在她体内…
But the doctor explained that her insides…
象岩石一样贫瘠 以致我播撒的种子无法生长
were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
艾德非常伤心
Ed was inconsolable.
我们试着找领养机构
We tried an adoption agency.
嗨的确有充满波折的过去
It’s true that Hi has had a checkered past.
而艾德是个曾获得两次勋章的警官…
But Ed here is an officer of the law twice decorated…
所以我们认为可以不考虑身份问题
so we figure it kind of evens out.
但生理因素和其他偏见…
But biology and the prejudices of others…
使得我们一直没有孩子
conspired to keep us childless.
我们彼此的爱比以往更坚定…
Our love for each other was stronger than ever…
但我知道”色拉日子”一去不复返了
but I premonised no return of the salad days.
激♥情♥远离了我们的生活
The pizzazz had gone out of our lives.
艾德失去了所有工作的兴趣…
Ed lost all interest in both criminal justice…
还有料理家务
and housekeeping.
不久后 她交出了她的警徽
Soon after, she tendered her badge.
我的工作似乎也变得枯燥苦涩…
Even my job seemed as dry and bitter…
就象草原上的暖风
as a hot prairie wind.
于是比尔走到九公里处…
So here’s Bill walking down Nine Mile…
是比尔·帕克 你知道的
That’s Bill Parker, you understand.
他一只手拿着他的三明治…
He’s got his sandwich in one hand…
另一只手则拿着他该死的脑袋
and the fuckin’ head in the other!
我甚至发现自己把车开到了便利店…
I even caught myself driving by convenience stores…
那不是回家的路
that weren’t on the way home.
然后 有一天…
Then, one day…
自从建胡佛大坝之后最大的新闻出现了
the biggest news hit the state since they built the Hoover Dam.
亚历桑那五胞胎出世
The Arizona Quints was born.
这个五胞胎…
By Arizona Quints…
是由一个叫佛罗伦萨·亚历桑那的女人所生
I mean they was born to a woman named Florence Arizona.
如同你们猜到的那样…
As you probably guessed…
佛罗伦萨是内森·亚历桑那的太太…
Florence Arizona is the wife of Nathan Arizona…
至于内森·亚历桑那…
and Nathan Arizona…
你们知道他是谁
well, hell, you know who he is.
快来”无漆亚历桑那”吧…
So come on down to Unpainted Arizona…
在这你能找到最好的选择…
where you can get the finest selection…
任意组合或是订做…
in fixtures and appointments…
来布置你的卫生间 卧室 化妆室
for your bathroom, bedroom, boudoir!
如果你能找到价钱更低的地方…
And if you can find lower prices anywhere…
我就不叫内森·亚历桑那
my name ain’t Nathan Arizona!
这位业主的大型无漆家具和…
The owner of the largest chain of unpainted furniture…
卫生间管道设施连锁店遍布西南地区
and bathroom fixture outlets throughout the Southwest.
佛罗伦萨服用了有利于生育的药物…
Yep, Florence had been taking fertility pills…
而且她和内森中了大奖
and she and Nathan had hit the jackpot.
亚历桑那五胞胎回家了 幸福的父亲说
“多到我们无法应付”
现在 你完全可以放下心理包袱了…
Now, y’all without sin can cast the first stone…
但我们认为有些人拥有太多而其他人拥有太少…
but we thought it was unfair that some should have so many…
是不公平的
while others should have so few.
亡羊补牢…
With the benefit of hindsight…
也许不是什么太好的主意
maybe it wasn’t such a hot idea.
但这一次…
But at the time…
艾德的小计划似乎能解决…
Ed’s little plan seemed like the solution…
我们所有的问题…
to all our problems…
对我们的祈祷予以回报
and the answer to all our prayers.
八百张折叠桌但没有椅子
Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs?
你不能卖♥♥桌子却不卖♥♥椅子
You can’t sell leaf-tables and no chairs.
你得到一套餐用家具 没有椅子的话就狗屁不值
Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!
我问过我太太 她都比你更明白
I asked my wife. She got more sense.
梅尔斯 我只知道…
Miles, alls I know is…
我离开办公室去哄我的孩子们…
I’m away from the office to play with my kids…
然后所有事情就一团糟了
and everything goes straight to heck!
我不想听这些
I ain’t gonna stand for it!
如果青蛙有翅膀 它就用不着蹦蹦跳跳让屁♥股♥受罪了
Yeah, if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin’.
我厌恶了你的辩解 梅尔斯
I am sick of your excuses, Miles.
现在的时间是…
It is now precisely…
八点四十五分
8:45 in the p.m.
我会在十二个钟头后到店里…
I’m gonna be down at that store in exactly twelve hours…
踢某个人的屁♥股♥…
to kick me some butt…
否则我就不叫内森·亚历桑那
or my name ain’t Nathan Arizona!
听声音象是拉里
That sounds like Larry.
不 不 安静
No, no, no. Shh. Shh.
安静 安静 安静
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
安静 安静
Quiet, quiet.
安静
Quiet.
好孩子
Good boy.
安静 安静
Quiet, quiet.
就这样 好的 好的
That’s it. Good, good.
安静
Quiet.
好了
Yes.
这里有个拨浪鼓
Here’s a rattle.
拨浪鼓 好吗
Rattle. OK?
好的 好的
OK, good.
不不
No, no.
安静 安静
Shh. Shh. Quiet, quiet.
过来
Come here.
过来 过来
Come here. Come here.
你为什么不上去看看他们呢
Why don’t you go up and check on them?
听起来他们不太安静
They sound restless.
怎么回事
What’s the matter?
对不起 亲爱的 我应付不了
I’m sorry, honey. It just didn’t work out.
你是说应付不了什么
What do you mean it didn’t work out?