I mean, aren’t you supposed to have a great memory?
你的记性不是很好吗？
Yeah, for things of note.
那是对于重要的事情
Oh, well. I remember everyone you’ve ever dated
我就记得你每个交往的对象
since it was just that one weird kid who was so pale
因为只有一个怪小孩，皮肤苍白到
he was practically see-through.
透明
Francoise was not see-through.
弗朗索瓦兹不是透明人
Yeah, well. It was like someone Saran-wrapped a skeleton.
他就像用保鲜膜包裹了一具骨架
Ooh, Kahi Bounce Balm? – No.
要护肤吗？ – 不用
Are you sure? It’s Korean.
你确定？韩国货哦
And also, Francoise and I weren’t dating, we were just friends.
还有，弗朗索瓦兹和我没交往 我们只是朋友
It wasn’t his fault that he was allergic to the sun.
对太阳过敏不是他的错
What are you doing? – I want space.
你在做什么？ – 我要私人空间
Ah, okay. Well, I sleep with two pillows.
我睡觉要两个枕头
Thank you very much. Yes, I do. – Do you sleep with two pillows?
谢谢，对，我要 – 你睡两个枕头？
Because you can sleep with two pillows on the floor.
那你可以用两个枕头睡在地板上
I’m sorry, I’m injured, I’m not sleeping on the floor.
对不起，我是伤患，我才不睡地板
I’m not sleeping on the floor, either. – Then sleep on the chair.
我也不睡地板 – 那就睡在椅子上
I don’t wanna sleep in a sitting position.
我才不要坐着睡
Oh, my God. What is the big deal?
天啊，有什么大不了的？
We used to sleep together all the time. – Yeah, 20 years ago, before you left.
我们以前常常一起睡 – 对，20年前，在你离家前
Fine, pillow wall.
枕头墙就枕头墙
All right, you know what? This is not half, by the way.
知道吗？这也不是一人一半啊
Yes, it is.
是的
I know you’re really nervous about tomorrow.
我知道你对明天很紧张
But is there at least a small part of you that’s excited?
但内心至少有一小部分觉得兴奋吧？
Maybe.
或许吧
A little bit.
一点点
You are gonna be great.
你会表现得很出色
I can’t believe what I’m reading. Are all three of you librarians?
我简直不敢相信我的眼睛 你们三个都是图书管♥理♥员♥吗？
Linguini?
小扁豆？
Linguini! Linguini, come here!
小扁豆…过来
Linguini!
小扁豆
Annie.
安妮
Annie, wake up.
安妮，起床
It’s audition day.
海选日到了
It’s so cold.
好冷
(《问答不能停》海选)
It says,
上面说
“Report to the Liberty Conference Room.”
“到自♥由♥会议厅报到”
Jesus, this city is, like, obsessed with freedom.
天啊，这城市对自♥由♥真是痴迷
Annie. Annie. Annie. Annie. Okay.
安妮…好了
Okay. Look at me. How are you feeling? How are you feeling?
看着我，感觉如何？
Bad.
很糟
Okay. – I can’t do this.
好 – 我办不到
Yeah, yes, yes. – Am I sweating?
你行的… – 我有流汗吗？
Um… yeah. You know what?
有，听我说
Put your arms down. Just put your arms down.
先把手放下…
Okay, good. Deep breath, deep breath. One deep breath. Okay, you know what?
很好，深呼吸…听我说
I can’t do this. – Yes, you can!
我办不到 – 你可以
No! Yes, you can.
别走，你办得到
Annie. Yes, yes, yes. You know why?
安妮 你行的 知道为什么吗？
Because you’re strong.
因为你很坚强
Yeah? Okay. All right, let’s go. Let’s go! Strong girl. Strong girl.
好吗？走吧，你是坚强女孩…
Hey! – Hi! Oh, you must be here to audition.
嗨 – 嗨，你们一定是来参加海选的吧
Thank you. – Have a seat.
谢谢 – 请坐
Yep.
好
Take it, take it. Sit down. Okay.
拿去，坐好，很好
All right. It’s all good. So exciting.
很好啊，好兴奋啊
There’s too many people here.
这里人太多了
Oh, don’t think about them.
别想他们
Just focus on the fact that you need this money to save Mr. Linguini’s life.
你只要想着 你需要这笔钱救小扁豆先生的命
That’s not helping.
那没有帮助
I can’t do this. I can’t go on the show.
我做不到，我没办法上节目
I’m… I’m gonna end up like Marybeth Windlemore!
我会落到和 玛丽贝斯·温德尔摩一样下场
Who’s Marybeth Windlemore?
玛丽贝斯·温德尔摩是谁？
The lowest-scoring contestant of all time.
史上最低分的参赛者
(负一万九千分 题目：美国第♥一♥夫♥人♥)
She barely made it through the Head to Head, and then she just froze.
她勉强进到了一对一比赛 然后就呆住了
Martha Stewart.
玛莎·斯图尔特
No… No. I mean… Betty White.
不对，我是说…贝蒂·怀特
US First Ladies. Focus on the topic.
美国第♥一♥夫♥人♥，请专心想
Nancy Sta… Stalin.
南希·斯…斯达林
And the internet was so mean to her.
网络暴民们没放过她
People hate it when women are bad at things.
女性在某方面表现不好时 人们会讨厌她
You’re not gonna be bad. You’re gonna be great.
你不会表现不好，你会表现很棒
People don’t like it when women are good at things, either!
女性在某方面表现太好时 人们也会讨厌她
And the only reason why I’m good is because I’m at home.
我表现很好只是因为我在家
It’s just me and Linguini.
只有我和小扁豆
I… I… I can’t play in front of all these people.
我没办法在其他人面前回答
I… I… I think we should just sell my eggs.
我想我还是去卖♥♥卵子好了
No, no. No. Annie, look at me.
不行…安妮，看着我…
Look at me. Annie, look at me.
安妮，看着我…
It’s gonna be okay.
不会有事的
It’s just an audition. Come on. We made it all this way.
只是个海选，来嘛，都走到这一步了
We gotta try, huh?
一定要试试看
Just sit there. Breathe. – Please.
坐在那，深呼吸就好 – 麻烦你
Okay? I’ll fill this out! All right? Just sit there.
好吗？我来填，你坐着就好
Today’s date. I don’t know. Tuesday? Tuesday.
星期几 我不知道 星期二 星期二吧
Um, your name. Okay.
名字，好
Anne Yum. Anne, do you wanna use Anne or Annie…
安妮·阎，安妮，你想要写成…
♪ So mad, I’m an angry girl… ♪
Hey! Hey!
喂，喂
Get back here you sneaky, little bitch! Annie!
回来，偷跑的小贱♥人♥！安妮
Don’t you… I told you I ran track!
别想…我说了我玩过田径
Rugburn!
擒杀
Why are you ruining this? – Is everything okay?
你为什么要毁了这个机会？ – 一切都还好吗？
Oh, we’re fine. Thank you.
我们很好，谢谢
I am not fine.
我不好
My armpits are like Niagara Falls! – Okay, just wait. Wait!
我的腋下泛滥成灾了 – 好，等一下…
Okay, get up. Get up! Here. Here, here.
起来，起来！过来…
Come on. God, you are wet underneath there.
快点，天啊，你腋下超湿
Jesus. Okay, here. Just, you know, put this on so no one can see.
天啊，拿去，把这件穿上 就没人会看到了
What is it? – It’s a hoodie.
这是什么？ – 是帽衫
Okay. It’s gonna be okay.
不会有事的
You’re having a panic attack. We just need to get through it.
你只是恐慌发作 我们只要熬过去就行了
How?
怎么熬？
Well, we’re running short on time so, um…
没时间了，所以…
do you want drugs?
你要吃药吗？
What? – Do you want drugs?
什么？ – 要吃药吗？
I can’t… – Drugs! For your anxiety!
我听不… – 药啦，缓解焦虑
You have drugs?
你有药？
Oh, yeah. I got a ton of stuff.
有，有很多
Um… I’ve got party pills, Zen pills, fun stuff…
我有派对药丸 禅药片和一些有趣的东西
Is that cocaine?
那是可♥卡♥因♥吗？
It’s stevia. Do you ever use stevia?
是甜菊，你吃过吗？
The sweetener? Yeah. Yeah, I’ve got it in my pocket.
那种甜味剂啊，我口袋里都会放
God. You need this. Doctors prescribe these.
你需要吃药，这些是医生开的
Okay, well, not these exactly. These are from the street
不全是，有些是街头买♥♥的
but they will help relax you a little.
但这些能让你放松一点
CSQ auditions begin in three minutes.
节目海选即将在三分钟后开始
All entrants report to the Liberty Conference Room.
请所有参赛者到自♥由♥会议厅报到
Okay. For Linguini.
好吧，为了小扁豆
Great. Hold this. Got some water in here somewhere.
好，拿着，我记得有带水
I think… Okay. And only take a quarter because…
找到了，吃四分之一就好，因为…
Because what?
因为什么？
Because what? Because what? – Because. Because I want some.
因为什么？因为什么？ – 因为…我也想吃点
And now, you ate them all. Okay, let’s go. Let’s go.
但现在被你吃完了，走吧，走吧
Thank you. – Thirty-one!
谢谢 – 31号♥？
Now, you look like you have a bowl cut. – No, I don’t.
你现在看起来像剪了个马桶盖 – 才没有
Okay, pretty, pretty, right? Right?
好啦，很漂亮…可以吗？
How you feeling? – Anne Yum, are you here?
你感觉如何？ – 安妮·阎在吗？
The same! – Oh, yes, yes. We’re here. We’re here!