and we get thrown out onto the street
我们就被博物馆的警卫
by a Heinz ketchup security guard.
扔到街上
And I really wanted to learn about ketchup.
我真的很想多了解番茄酱
I wanted to have that experience.
我想要有那次的体验
I didn’t get to have that experience. Now, look at me now.
但我没得到，看我变成了什么样
I think it’s just tomatoes, though.
但那只是番茄
You know, with sugar and spices. – Oh, my God.
加上糖和香料，你懂的 – 天啊
They want me to be on local news.
他们想要我上本地新闻
Dope! – I don’t want to be news.
好耶 – 我不想上新闻
I would kill to be local news.
我不惜一切想上新闻
Internal auditing.
内部审计
Quiz Lady! I’m a huge fan. My name’s Gerald.
问答女王！我是你的超级粉丝 我叫杰洛德
I’m what you might call a sexual cannibal.
我就是你们称为性食同类的人
It is what you think it is, and do you wanna get lunch?
就你想的那个意思，一起吃午餐吗？
The internet knows where I work. The internet knows where I work.
网上找得到我的工作地点…
Niagara, Detroit, Pine, Detroit…
尼加拉河、底特律河、派恩河
Hey, say something smart. – Sorry. I can’t.
说点聪明的话 – 对不起，我做不到
Come on!
别这样
Anne Yum.
安妮·阎
I didn’t mean to startle you.
我不是有意吓你的
I’m a friend of your mom’s. Do you know where she is?
我是你妈妈的朋友 你知道她人在哪吗？
No, sorry.
不知道，抱歉
You sure? ‘Cause I’d really like to find her.
你确定？因为我真的很想找到她
She owes me some money.
她欠我一些钱
She… She said she quit.
她说…她戒赌了
Aside from occasional penny slots. How much does she owe?
除了偶尔玩玩老虎机 她欠你多少钱？
Eighty grand. – Eighty grand?
八万 – 八万？
And imagine my pleasant surprise
想像一下我有多惊喜
when her daughter with the goofy little bangs became famous.
当我看到 她留着呆萌刘海的女儿出名时
Saved me all the trouble of tracking you down.
让我省下了找你的功夫
So, where is she?
所以她人呢？
Do you really want to protect her? You probably don’t even like her.
你真的要保护她？ 你甚至大概不喜欢她
I know I don’t.
我就不喜欢
Come on, don’t be stupid.
快点，别傻了
Tell me where she is.
告诉我她的下落
Macao.
澳门
Macao. – I can’t help you.
澳门 – 我帮不了你
Of course, you can. You can cover her debt.
当然可以，你可以偿还她的债务
I don’t have 80,000 dollars.
我没有八万美元
Neither do I, and that’s the problem.
我也没有，问题就出在这里
Call me when you have it…
等你有钱打给我
and you’ll get your dog back.
我就把狗还你
My dog?
我的狗？
My dog? – You have two weeks.
我的狗？ – 我给你两周
After that, you’ll never see him again.
逾时，你就再也见不到它了
Let’s go grab some cronuts.
我们去吃可颂甜甜圈
Amazing! We’ll be there, thank you.
太好了，我们会去，谢谢
Linguini!
小扁豆
Annie, what’s going on? – Linguini!
安妮，怎么了？ – 小扁豆
Who’s even named Ken anymore?
现在还有人叫肯？
This is all your fault. He found me because of your stupid video.
这都是你的错 他是因为你的蠢视频才找到我的
Are you calling him? – I’m calling Mom.
你在打给他？ – 我在打给妈
It’s not gonna do anything.
不会有帮助的
Jenny?
珍妮？
You left us with an 80,000 dollars debt?
你留下了八万美元债务给我们？
It’s okay, I’m in Macao.
没事的，我在澳门
Jeff, get me another Mai Tai!
杰夫，给我再来一杯迈泰
Okay, you know what? It’s not okay. None of this is okay.
告诉你，不是没事，这些都很有事
Your bookie threatened Annie and kidnapped my dog.
你的债主威胁安妮，还绑♥架♥了我的狗
He’s not your dog.
它不是你的狗
Not a bad deal.
不错的交易
That dog’s so old. – That’s not the point!
那只狗那么老了 – 那不是重点
What do you expect me to do about it? I’m in Macao!
你想要我怎么样？我在澳门
You need to fix it. We can’t afford to pay them off!
你得要搞定这件事，我们没钱付
Fine! Come to Macao. Jeff rented a condo. But no free rides.
好啦 来澳门 杰夫租了一间公♥寓♥ 但不能免费住
We don’t wanna live in your goddamn condo.
我们不想住在你该死的公♥寓♥
Don’t swear. Aiya, who raised you?
别说脏话，哎呀，谁把你养大的？
Nobody!
没有人
Told you.
早说过了
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! – What? What? Are they here?
天啊，天啊 – 怎么了，他们来了？
Annie, Annie, Annie! This is all connected.
安妮…这一切都有关联
This is synergy from the universe.
这是宇宙的协同作用
Oh, my God. I think I might have manifested this.
天啊，可能是我召唤来的
I hate all the words you just used.
我讨厌你刚才说的每个字
Oh, my God. This is how you’re gonna make the money.
天啊，这就是你赚到钱的方法
Okay, someone from the Quiz just called. They saw your video.
问答节目的人刚打来 他们看到了你的视频
What? No! No! That is so embarrassing.
什么？不，太丢脸了
No, no, no, no. No, see, they loved it,
不会…他们很喜欢那视频
and they’re in the middle of a casting round,
而他们现在正在进行海选
and they want… No, come on.
他们想要你…听好
They want you to come to the in-person regional auditions
他们想要你参加区域现场海选
this weekend. Where? In Philadelphia!
就在这周末，就在费城
No, that’s not happening. – Oh, my God. Why not?
不行，做不到 – 老天，为何不行？
I mean, you could win 80,000 dollars just like that.
你可轻松赢得八万美元
I mean, you got every question right.
你每一题都答对了
I can’t play on live TV in front of millions of people.
我没办法上现场节目，在数百万人
In front of Terry-freakin’ McTeer.
和泰瑞面前回答问题
I can’t, I can’t. There has to be another way.
我办不到…一定有其他办法
You could sell your eggs. I mean, it’s not like you’re using them.
你可以卖♥♥卵子，反正你也没在用
I’m not gonna sell my eggs. – Okay!
我才不要卖♥♥卵子 – 好啦
Well, I am not gonna let Mom’s bullshit ruin your life.
我不会让妈的烂摊子毁了你的生活
Too late.
晚了
So, I looked on CarMax,
我上网查了
and it said I could easily sell my car for around 20,000…
我的车能轻易卖♥♥到两万块
Hi. The paperboy missed the porch again, but by a mile.
报童又没有送到门口 而且还相差一大截
I mean, he threw it in the driveway, the jerk.
他把报纸扔在了车道上，真讨厌
I’m pretty sure he’s vaping drugs again.
他一定又吸了
Bending over that far,
腰弯那么低
it’s actually dangerous for an almost ghost like me.
对我这种一只脚踏入棺材的人很危险
Could you help?
你可以帮我吗？
Oh, say, uh, can I borrow your phone a sec?
可以借一下你手♥机♥吗？
I just want to check on my stocks.
我想看一下股市
Is everything all right? You seem weird. – What do you mean? I’m fine.
没事吧？你看起来很怪 – 什么意思？我没事
Since when do you invest? – What’s it to you?
你什么时候开始投资的？ – 关你什么事？
Don’t be scared! It’s me!
别怕，是我
What? What the… Jenny, not again!
搞什么…珍妮，别又来了
Don’t worry! We’re getting your dog back!
别担心，我们会救回你的狗
Hey!
喂
What are you doing? – I’m taking you to Philadelphia!
你在干嘛？ – 我要带你到费城
So, you can get on the show! – Jenny!
让你去上节目 – 珍妮
Okay!
好了
Where’s my 100 bucks?
我的100元呢？
Thanks. Um, sorry, I don’t have any cash on me.
抱歉，我身上没现金
Hey! How could you do this to me
你怎么能这样对我？
when I was just threatened by a genuine Tong?
我刚被货真价实的“同”威胁过
That’s why I yelled, “Don’t be scared. It’s me!”
所以我才大叫“别怕，是我”
Jenny! – What is a Tong?
珍妮… -“同”是什么？
Asian gangsters. You know, read a book.
亚裔黑帮，多读书
Jenny! – Thank you very much.
珍妮 – 还真是谢了
Jenny, let me out of here. Francine! Francine, please!
珍妮，放我出去，弗朗辛…救我
Grifter!
骗子
Jenny! Let me out! I will call the FBI!
珍妮，放我出去 我要打给联邦调查局
Settle down! – You want me to settle down?
冷静 – 你要我冷静？
You kidnapped me! – Oh, don’t be so dramatic!
你绑♥架♥我耶 – 别那么夸张
Jenny, Jenny… – I put a bunch of, like, snacks
珍妮… – 我放了很多零食
and pillows in there, so just sit back, relax.
和枕头在里面，你就坐好放松
Enjoy the ride. – Jenny, Jenny.
享受旅程 – 珍妮…
♪ Surprise to me I am my own worst enemy… ♪
我很惊讶，我是我自己最大的敌人
♪ …Every now and then I kick the living shit out of me… ♪
有时我会极度自责…
Oh, my God!
天啊