happiness… does not exist.
幸福… 不存在
Oh! Judge Judy.
《法官朱迪》
Next up, she’s the voice you trust.
接下来，她是令人信任的声音
Hello? – Hi!
喂？ – 嗨
We wanna put Anne on Can’t Stop the Quiz.
我们想请安妮上《问答不能停》
Can she fly out ASAP?
她能尽快飞过来吗？
Um. I’m sorry. I’m no longer part of her journey.
对不起，我不再是她旅程的一部分了
So, you’ll have to call her directly.
所以，你得直接打给她
Um. I’m sorry, journey? Where is she go…
抱歉，旅程？她人…
(捐卵换现金 今天就成为卵子捐赠者)
(拿卵子，换现金)
Internal auditing.
内部审计
Hi! Is this Anne Yum?
嗨，请问是安妮·阎吗？
Yes.
我是
This is Mercedes from the Quiz.
我是问答节目的梅塞德斯
Great news! We’d love to have you on the show!
好消息 我们想邀请你上节目
Any chance you could fly out tonight? – Tonight?
你今晚能搭飞机过来吗？- 今晚？
Okay. You’re gonna regret… – Yeah, I know it’s last minute…
好吧 你不会后悔… – 我知道这很临时
I’m telling you…
我告诉你
but we’d love to capitalize on the buzz from your video.
但我们很想把握这个机会
I can’t really hear you. Hold on one sec.
我这边有点吵 请等一下
Oh, my God. Obsessed with the neti pot.
天啊，超爱洗鼻壶
I got you one for Christmas for a reason.
我在圣诞节送你一个是有原因的
God!
天
Uh. Do you guys, like, have to eat here? Or, like, is there another…
你们一定要在这里吃饭吗？ 没有别的地方？
This is our spot, Fran. – Yeah, it’s kinda great.
这是我们的地盘 – 对，蛮好的
‘Cause then the food smell stays over here,
因为食物的味道会留在这里
not at our desks. – Yeah. I know, I know.
而不是在我们的办公桌 – 对啊…
No one’s here, like…
这里都没人
You’re sweating. – It’s really spicy.
你流汗了 – 真的很辣
Hello?
喂？
Sorry about that, I just… – And we need the information
抱歉，我要… – 我们需要知道
for whoever you wanna bringas your partner.
你带的搭档的资料
I’m so sorry about that. I just had… Sorry, one second. I just…
真的很抱歉，等我一下，我要…
Like, I’m, like, dripping, my back is dripping sweat.
我汗如雨下，背后都在滴汗
Hey!
够了
I am sick of being treated like some silent, invisible man.
我受够了被当成沉默的隐形人
I exist! And I know that you guys don’t see me around the office.
我就在这 我知道你们很少在办公室里看到我
But you’re gonna see me tomorrow night on television.
但你们明晚会看到我，在电视上
Book it, Mercedes!
订票吧，梅塞德斯
♪ Balls hanging low while I pop a bottle off a yacht ♪
♪ Chain swanging cling-clang and it cost a lot ♪
♪ Bitch, I’m always at the guala, yeah and you are not ♪
♪ Badass B keep on going ’til you hit the spot ♪
♪ Whoa, I’m a big bag hunter with the bow… ♪
♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪
I’m coming for you, Linguini.
我来救你了，小扁豆
♪ Mama called me and she happy with the growth ♪
♪ Never ever fold for a thottie that’s an oath ♪
♪ Just popped her kidney I bought a million options of the stock ♪
♪ Man, I rock arenas, bringin’ the peace I’m bumpin’ that ‘Pac in the car ♪
♪ Pretendin’ I got all the eyes on me got a bad baby… ♪
Hi.
嗨
Danielle! – Wendy.
丹妮儿 – 是温蒂
Wendy! – I wanted to give you this as a thank you.
温蒂 – 我想请你吃这个，表达感谢
For what?
感谢什么？
You inspired me. I convinced my boss to let me take over the pastries.
你激励了我 我说服了老板让我负责糕点
What? – You changed my life, Janet.
什么？ – 你改变了我的人生，珍妮特
It’s Jenny.
是珍妮
Raspberry fennel.
覆盆子茴香口味
♪ Feel so hot like I’m chillin’ on the beach ♪
♪ Yeah, baby in the sun like the Teletubbies ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ I’m a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪
♪ Mama called me and she happy with the growth ♪
♪ Never ever fold for a thottie that’s an oath ♪
What now? – I need you to come with me to California.
又怎么了？ – 我需要你和我一起去加州
What are you vaping? No! – No. I need a partner
你发什么神经，不要 – 我需要一个搭档
in case the coin flip lands on “Show It” and I don’t have anybody else.
以防硬币翻到比比看 而我没有其他人可邀了
Well, what the hell is “Show It”?
比比看是什么？
You are strong.
你很坚强
♪ Better get that brass ready, huh Here we go, hey ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Hey! ♪ – ♪ Shake that brass, stop ♪
(心选之家 狗儿救援)
I’m here to see Ken.
我来见肯
♪ Get on the floor, shake that brass ♪
♪ I get down, down, baby ♪
♪ Shake that brass ♪
Who the hell is this?
你哪位？
Crystal’s other daughter.
克丽丝特尔的另一个女儿
How’d you find me? – My ex-boyfriend’s CIA.
你怎么找到我的？ – 我前男友是中情局的
Coming here was a big mistake.
你来这里是天大的错误
I will get you the money, but first, you’re gonna give me back that dog.
我会给你钱 但你要先把那条狗还给我
Actually, we’re gonna break your arms.
我们会折断你的手
I’ll… I’ll pay you double. I swear, I swear.
我付你双倍，我发誓…
I’m about to get a very large cash settlement from Choochie’s!
我很快就会从邱奇士餐厅 得到一大笔和解金
You know, Choochie’s,
你知道邱奇士餐厅的
the nationwide chain.
全国连锁那间
Oh, my God, you’re so sweaty.
天啊，你的汗好多
You’re just like your mom.
你跟你妈一样
That crazy crying. That screaming. – No, no, no!
那疯狂的哭喊、那种尖叫 – 不要，不要啊
You really think you’re gonna bail her out with that same bullshit?
你真的认为可以用同样的鬼话 来帮她摆脱困境吗？
I am not my mom. And I am not here for her.
我不是我妈，我也不是为她来的
I’m here for Anne,
我是为安妮而来
and that dog has been by her side for the last 20 years.
过去20年，那只狗一直陪伴着她
What? How old is he? – Old!
什么，它多老了？ – 很老
Yes, Annie is an anxious, sweaty little weirdo,
没错，安妮是焦虑又爱流汗的小怪咖
but she is my sister. And she needs me.
但她是我妹妹，她需要我
So, I need that dog.
所以我需要那只狗
Just like you need my money.
就像你需要我的钱
Oh, I’ve done my research, right?
我可是有做功课的
We Asians like our research, right?
我们亚洲人很会做功课的，对吧？
And you’re, like, what, six months behind on rent? Oh.
你们还欠了六个月租金吧？
I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Did you… did you boys not know?
对不起…你们不知道吗？
Shame. Where did all of the money go, hmm? Up your nose? On your tats?
真可耻，钱都到哪去了？ 花在鼻子？剌青？
In your man buns? – It’s the dogs.
你的丸子头？ – 是狗啦
These people, they’re monsters.
这些人都是恶魔
Half of them never come back for their dogs.
有一半人都不回来赎他们的狗
Oh, and the purebreds, they have issues, you know?
那些纯种狗，有很多问题你知道吗？
Skin problems, kidney problems, anxiety.
皮肤问题、肾脏问题、焦虑问题
My poor Crispy over there needs constant attention or he gets sad.
那边可怜的小脆脆 要是没一直受到关注 就会伤心
I’m all they’ve got.
我是它们唯一的依靠
Give me back Linguini, and when my big, fat Choochie’s check comes in,
把小扁豆还我 等邱奇士餐厅的超大支票进来
I’ll solve all your money problems.
我就帮你解决所有金钱问题
Do we have a deal?
一言为定？
Nope.
不要
She took my dog!
她抢走了我的狗
♪ Shake that brass ♪
♪ Hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho ♪ – ♪ Yeah, uh-huh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ – ♪ Hey, ho… ♪
Get them, you idiots! That’s my dog! Porky! Porky!
捉住她 那是我的狗 波奇 波奇
Francine!
弗朗辛
Jesus! Why is this going so fast? A person could get killed in this.
为什么要走那么快？可能会死掉的
Gotta keep up. – Okay, all right.
你得跟上 – 好吧
Francine.
弗朗辛
(32年，还在持续中)
Hi. I… have a plus one.
嗨，我带了个同伴
So glad you all found the place okay.
很高兴你们觉得这里还不错
Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to the green room.
请跟我来，我带你们去休息室
I don’t care what color it is as long as there’s a chair in it.
随便去哪，只要有椅子可以坐就好
For sure. And, Anne, we’re gonna get you into hair and makeup.
好的，安妮 我们要来帮你整理妆发
Isn’t that amazing?
是不是很棒？
You know he’s never worn the same one twice.
你知道他从不重戴相同的领结
What is the lightest element…
元素表中…
I want a divorce! – On the periodic table?
我要跟你离婚 – 最轻的元素是什么？
What? You’ve never seen a tie before? Let’s go.
怎样，你没看过领结吗？走啦
We’re on in ten.
十分钟后开始
You’re all mic’d up.
你的麦克风装好了
Getting closer, people.
快开始了，大伙
Getting closer.
快开始了
Get away from my makeup. Just kidding.
离我的化妆品远一点 开玩笑的
Hi, I’m Ron. How are you?
我是罗恩，你好
Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand but…
幸会，我很想和你握手，可是…
Anyway. How was your flight? Great?
