穿靴子的猫2（2022）

Birthday wish rules or whatever.
哈！我猜你的愿望一定很蠢 比如…
Ha! I bet your wish is something stupid like…
你真是个…
You’re such a…
这一定是「装满花束的口袋」
This must be the Pocket Full of Posies.
让开 恶魔之花
Out of the way, demon flower.
修剪时间到了！
It’s pruning time!
哦 谢谢
Aw, thank you.
我们没时间了
We don’t have time for this.
佩罗 我以为你的路很容易走
Perro, I thought your path was supposed to be easy.
我觉得你要做的
You know, I think all you have to do
就是停下来 闻闻玫瑰的芬芳
is stop and smell the roses.
你在逗我吗
Seriously?
这太蠢了
This is stupid.
我闻到的都是shi… -嘘
All I smell is bull… -Shh.
看着
Watch.
不要着急
Don’t rush through it.
慢慢来 想想你现在拥有的
Take your time and really appreciate
然后心怀感激
what’s right in front of you.
呃啊 他的路真老土
Ugh. His path is so corny.
谢谢 -还很虚伪
Gracias. -And cheesy.
还很空洞 -还很奇葩 就像他一样
And lame. -And weird, like him.
是的 你怎么这么可笑 狗？
Yeah. Why are you so ridiculous, dog?
你有什么故事？
What’s your story?
我的故事吗
My story? Oh.
这其实是一个非常有趣的故事
It’s actually a very funny story.
当我还小的时候
Back when I was a pup,
我和我的窝友们住在一个家庭里
me and my littermates lived with a family.
一个全家都喜欢玩捉迷藏的 恶作剧的家庭
A family full of pranksters who liked to play hide-and-seek,
我每次都是当鬼的那一个
and I was always it.
家里最小的就是这样 是吧
Pick on the little guy, am I right?
他们把我藏到箱子里过 还有垃圾箱里
They tried putting me in a packing crate, a dumpster.
不管他们多努力 我总能找到他们
No matter how hard they tried, I’d always find them.
所以 有一天 他们升级了玩法
So, one day, they get creative
他们把我放进一只袜子里 还塞了块石头
and they put me in a sock with a rock in it.
然后把我扔进河里
And then throw me in a river.
我在袜子上咬了个洞
I gnawed a hole in the sock,
然后游到水面上
and I swam to the surface.
但再也没找到他们 也没找到我的窝友
Never found them or my littermates.
所以我想我现在还在当鬼
So I guess I’m still it.
哇
Wow.
这真是我听过的最悲伤的有趣故事
That is the saddest funny story I’ve ever heard.
不过 看看谁笑到最后了
Well, joke’s on them.
他们用来塞我的袜子 我在里头长大了
That sock they put me in, I grew into it.
所以 我得到了一个很棒的故事 和一件免费的毛衣
So, I got a great story and a free sweater out of it.
双赢
Win-win.
伙计 你没赢
Dude, you didn’t win.
你才是最该许愿的那个
You of all people should have a wish.
我已经有了一件舒适的毛衣 和两个最好的朋友
I already have a comfy sweater and two best friends.
我已经得到了我想要的一切
I got everything I could wish for.
不需要魔法了
No magic required.
嗯？
Hmm?
噢 真可爱
Oh, lovely.
我们越来越接近了
Oh, we’re getting really close.
我能闻到两只猫 一只狗 还有…派？
I can smell two cats, a dog and… pie?
这不是那些 想偷我东西的白♥痴♥吗
Well, if it isn’t the idiots who tried to steal from me.
嘿 他记得我们
Hey, he remembers us.
看着吧 石中…
Behold, Excali…
石…
Excali…
亚瑟王的石中剑！
Excalibur!
是啊 我没法把这块石头从上面拿下来
Yeah, I couldn’t get this rock off of it,
但还是很酷 对吧？
but still pretty cool, right?
他快追上我们了！
He’s gaining on us!
好的 再近一点
Okay, little left.
就是这样
That’s it!
再快点 -哇 他盯上我了
Go faster! -Whoa, he’s up me back door.
小金！
:Goldi!
哦 看！
Oh, look!
喂 还不快去砍
Well, start chopping!
来了老板 不用你二话
On it! You don’t have to tell me twice.
我要把这棵树剁成碎片…
I’m gonna chop the heck out of this Ficus lyra…
杰瑞 不！
Jerry, no!
为我报仇 杰克！
Avenge me, Jack!
死 死 死！
Die, die, die!
不
Nope.
是时候拿出大武器了
Time to bring out the big guns.
我想我打包太多了
:Guess I overpacked.
神奇的小零食
Magic snacks.
以后再吃吧
Save those for later.
找到了
Ha! Pay dirt.
好了 神奇蝗虫 植物毁灭者
All right, magical locust, defoliate.
飞吧 尽情享受盛宴
Fly and feast.
吃掉那些花
Eat those flowers.
我不是魔法蝗虫
I-I’m not a magic locust.
我根本不是蝗虫
Why, I’m not a locust at all.
那你是什么?某种恶魔蚱蜢？
What are you, then? Some sort of demon grasshopper?
致命的仙女？
A deadly fairy?
那就对森林施咒吧
Put a spell on the forest, then.
我不施咒语
I-I don’t cast spells.
那你是做什么的? -我 我会评判你
Well, what do you do? -Well, I-I-I judge you.
我坐在你的肩膀上 评判你的行为
I sit on your shoulder and judge your actions
还有你的人品
and the quality of your character.
我是你的良心
I’m your conscience.
我真的打包太多了
I really did overpack.
啊！
Whoa!
帮帮我 杰克！
Help me, Jack! Help!
你不帮他吗 杰克？
Aren’t you gonna help him, Jack?
你失去了很多人
You’re losing a lot of men.
我不太担心人手的问题
I’m not really stressing about the manpower.
我有一个无底洞的法宝袋
I’ve got a bottomless bag of magic weapons.
这些宝贝会帮我实现愿望的
These babies are gonna get me that wish
即使整个团队都死了
even after the whole team is dead and gone.
好了 杰克 作为你的良心 我…
Now, now, Jack, as your conscience, I…
哦 我的天
Oh, my word!
这是高贵的凤♥凰♥
It’s the noble phoenix.
她是重生和永恒的象征…
She’s the symbol of rebirth and the eternal…
哦！
Oh!
完美的火焰喷射器 对吧
Pretty boss flamethrower, right?
这次的活儿对我来说真的很吃力
I really have my work cut out for me on this one.
别靠近我扔火焰的地方
Don’t be near where I’m flame-throwing.
干掉他们 恶魔花
Do your job, demon flowers.
就快到了
Soon.
好了 Kitty 我想我明白了
Okay, Kitty, I think I’ve got it now.
相信我… -悠着点 悠着点
Trust me! -Easy, easy.
你会得疝气的
You’re gonna give yourself a hernia.
再来一次 像这样
Here, one more time. Like this.
相信我
Trust me.
噢 但我当然相信你和Puss
Aw. But of course I trust you and Puss,
即使你们不用这一招
even without the eyes.
是吗 那你就错了
Yeah? Big mistake.
为什么这么说 你们是我的朋友
What do you mean? You’re my friends.
信任给你带来了什么？
You know what trust gets you?
一只袜子 一块石头 在河里游泳
A sock, a rock and a swim in the river.
你总有相信的某个人 对吧？
You have to trust somebody, right?
我才不
Not me. Uh-uh.
每当我放松警惕
Whenever I’ve let my guard down,
我被欺骗 被抓 被耍 被背叛
I’ve been double-crossed, declawed, played and betrayed.
我再也不要相信别人
Never again.
我独来独往
I am a solo act.
我保守秘密 藏好底牌
I keep my secrets, and I play my cards close.
这样你才能赢
That’s how you get a winning hand.
记住我的忠告