整个过程会非常顺畅，但是…
and it all runs smoothly. But…
预产期：33天
《养小狗需要进行哪些准备？》
不用带项圈的感觉是不是很好？
It’s nice to get that cone off, huh?
那玩意难受死了
That thing sucked.
嗨，抱歉来迟了 – 嘿
Hi. Sorry. -Hey.
我们…有点迷路…
We, uh, we got a little lost. Um…
我以前从没来过这里，所以… – 噢
I’ve never been here before, so… -Oh.
你好呀克洛伊，噢，她越来越胖了
Hi, Chloe. Oh, she’s getting hefty.
小胖妞
Hefty girl.
等等，你从小到大都生活在这里，却从没来过探索公园？
Wait, you’ve lived here your entire life and you’ve never been to Discovery Park?
这合理吗？
How is that even possible?
这里到处都是陌生人，细菌，野生动物
Strangers, bacteria, wild animals.
但我带了急救箱和无毒的防熊喷雾
But I brought a first-aid kit and bear repellent, non-toxic.
好吧，准备充分啊 – 嗯，未雨绸缪嘛
Very prepared. All right. -Yeah, I try to be prepared.
那我也可以理解成 你不喜欢远足咯？
I take it you’re not a big hiker then, huh?
没事，我应付得来
No, I can hang.
开襟毛衣不错啊
Nice cardigan.
注：1978年电影《油脂》中的角色，其中一套经典造型就是穿着运动背心
谢谢，我不知道我应该要穿得跟丹尼·祖科一样
Thanks. I didn’t know I was supposed to dress like Danny Zuko.
这里好棒啊
This is amazing.
我可以坐在这 放空大脑
I could just sit here and chill.
对，这里是我的冥想点
Yeah. It’s my thinking spot.
可以让我身心愉悦
It gives me good vibes.
谢谢你跟我…我们分享你的私藏
Well, thanks for sharing your spot with me… us.
不用客气
You’re welcome.
哦操 – 怎么了？
Oh, shit. -What?
我刚把水给喝完了，还忘记给他们带了
I just finished all my water and I forgot to bring them some.
噢
Oh.
我有时候真是个自私的混♥蛋♥啊
I swear, I’m such a selfish asshole sometimes.
你不是啦，来，我这有
No, you’re not. Here, I got it.
注：双酚A（BPA）是一种工业用化学品，常用于制♥造♥塑料容器
这水杯不含双酚A的，别担心 – 噢
Got it. It’s BPA-free, don’t worry. -Oh.
当然不担心，毕竟你都这么说了
Of course. I could only assume.
喝吧伙计们！快喝吧
Here you go, guys! Here you go.
亲爱的租客
正如您租约中所提到的，你已经违反了租约内的条款
操，我该怎么办？
Shit, what am I gonna do?
这栋建筑物里不允许养狗
到啦，你一定要表现好一点，他可是帮了我们个大忙
Okay, make sure you behave yourself. He’s doing us a big favor.
嘿 – 来啦
Hey. -Hey.
你好呀，快请进
Hi. Okay, come on in.
我需要你把这个戴上，如果可以的话…
Um, I’m gonna need you to put this on, if that’s…
有这个必要吗？ – 嗯，在屋里的时候要戴
Really? -Yeah, just in the house.
好吧 – 不好意思了
Okay. -Sorry.
请你快点戴上，如果可以的话
Do it quickly, if that’s okay.
我只是在逗你玩啦，不用戴的
I’m just kidding. You don’t have to wear that.
你不用戴口罩的
You don’t have to wear that.
如果我现在不是要被扫地出门了，你的幽默还挺“恰如其分”的
Would’ve been reasonably funny if I weren’t being threatened with eviction.
噢，不是啦 – 他们就给了我两天时间…
Yeah, no. -They gave me two days…
不过你还是得把鞋脱了，这次没开玩笑
You are gonna have to take your shoes off though. For real.
他们给了我两天时间来决定去留 – 知道了
They gave me two days to decide. -Yeah.
我不走 钱宁就要走
Me or Channing has to go.
真的很抱歉来叨扰你，我只是还需要一点时间来确定搬去哪
And I’m really sorry, I just need a little more time to figure out where to move.
嗯嗯，明白 – 谢谢你让他住在这
Mm-hmm. Yeah. -Thank you for letting him stay.
这对我来说确实是迈出了一大步，但这也是目前最好的选择了
Yeah, I mean, it’s a big step for me, but it’s what’s best right now.
你也知道的，对他们俩来说… – 哇哦
You know, for both of them, so… – Whoa.
只不过要…咋了？
Just gonna have to… What?
等一下，这真是《教父》里的吗？
Wait, is this really from The Godfather?
呃…理论上是的，但…
Uh, well, technically it is, but…
那是我最爱的电影
That is my all-time favorite movie.
第几部？ – 反正肯定不是第三部
Which part? -Not Part III, that’s for damn sure.
是吧，等等！别碰它！ – 你吓死我了！
Yeah. Wait, don’t touch it! -Jeez!
对不起，我只是… – 我没有碰啊
I’m sorry. I just… -I didn’t. Just…
你原本要打算碰的 – 噢
You were going to. -Oh.
噢，对了
Oh, oh, oh.
怎么了？
Yeah?
你能帮我把这个连上你家的wifi吗？
Will you hook this up to your Wi-Fi for me?
只是为了确保他没事
Just so I can make sure he’s okay.
呃，我不能让你连上我家的网络
Uh, well, I can’t let you on my network.
为啥？
Why?
那样我就得告诉你wifi密♥码♥
I’d have to give you my password.
万一你看到我穿着内♥裤♥到处跑怎么办？ – 我可不想看到这样的场景
And what if you see me in my underwear? -Mm. That is not a vision that I need.
麻烦你到了晚上再连吧
Just please hook it up, just at night.
还有什么东西是你想要征用的吗？
Anything else of mine you’d like to take over?
钱宁习惯用他的东西，所以这样就可以…
Channing is used to his things, so this will just…
你也没必要… – …让他适应新环境
Well, it doesn’t have to… -…get him acclimated.
他喜欢玩具到处丢吗？ – 等一下，钱宁去哪了？
He likes them spread out? -Wait, where is Channing?
我不知道啊 – 他肯定去标记地盘了
I don’t know. -Ooh, I bet he’s marking.
你不会觉得他去尿了吧？
You don’t think he is, do you?
逗我吗？
Really?
怎么了？他没事吧？
What happened? Is he okay?
你想过来睡沙发？
Do you want to just come over and sleep on the couch?
真的可以吗？你确定？
Really? Are you sure?
确定，他很想你
Yes, he misses you.
回来啦 – 嗨
Hey. -Hi.
我们一家人正在贴贴呢，对不对呀？
We’re having a little family cuddle. Aren’t we?
什么情况？
What’s happening?
哦对，是这样
Right. Well,
我今天早上去了趟弗里蒙特周日跳蚤市场
I went to the Fremont Sunday Flea this morning
然后淘到了这些好东西
and I found all this great stuff.
什么…好吧…
What… Okay. Yeah, um…
呃，为什么会放在我这里？
Uh, why is it here?
是要给我包装的房♥子用的
It’s for the house that I’m staging.
这样我就不用从我家搬来搬去了
This way I don’t have to keep going back and forth from my place.
只会放几天而已
It’s just for a couple of days.
不过你看，我还留了条路出来呢，是有点蜿蜒，但…
But look, there’s a path. I mean, it’s a little zig-zag-y, but…
“蜿蜒”这个词不应该用来形容我家 – 你有啥好慌的？
“Zig-zag-y” isn’t a word. -Why are you freaking out?
你把我家搞得一团糟 – 怎么就一团糟了？
You’ve disrupted my apartment. -What does that mean exactly?
我不喜欢我家堆得到处都是垃圾，也不喜欢有别人在
I don’t like junk all over my apartment. Or people.
我…我不能待在这….我要…
Um, I… I can’t be… I’m gonna…
克洛伊？克洛伊，过来
Chloe? Chloe, come on.
克洛伊，我们去…
Chloe, we’re gonna…
我…我先出去…
I, um… Yeah, I’m just gonna…
克洛伊，走吧
Chloe, come on.
天呐，这啥情况？
Oh, my God. What just happened?
是我精神不正常吗？是我太不近人情了吗？
I mean, am I crazy? Am I being unreasonable?
我觉得她太不考虑别人的感受了
I feel like she’s being pretty inconsiderate.
谁会带一大堆废品到别人家啊？
Who brings a bunch of garbage to somebody else’s apartment?
简直不可理喻
It’s unbelievable.
虽然我知道我是有些毛病
I mean, I know I have some issues.
嘿，谢谢你能听我说这些
Hey, look, thanks for listening.
回去吧
All right.
我有时候就是吓坏了，你知道吧，我…
Sometimes I just freak out. You know? I just..
听我说，我会搬出去的
Listen, I’m gonna get out of your space.
嘿妮可，我…
Hey, Nicole, I…
这个主意真的太糟糕了
This was a really, really bad idea.
我已经给我朋友发了信息，看能不能寄养在他们那里
I’ve messaged some other friends to see if they can take him.
妮可…
Nicole…
我很抱歉
I am sorry.
呃…
Um…
我自身确实存在一些问题，我也在努力克服
I have my own issues and I’m trying to work on them.
噢，所以不全是我的错咯？ – 我就是这个意思
Oh. So it’s not all me? -That’s what I’m trying to say.
我知道你不喜欢条条框框，但是…
I know rules aren’t really your thing, but,
对我来说，没有规矩就不成方圆，所以…
for me, they’re how I get through the day, so…
你觉得你为什么会这么焦虑？
Why do you think you worry so much?
我不知道，我感觉我一直都很多虑
I don’t know. I guess I’ve always just kind of been a worrier.
你小时候也这样吗？
Even when you were a kid?
我脑子里那些坏念头曾经把我爸妈都逼疯了
I used to drive my parents crazy with all my thoughts of bad shit.
这也导致我性格变得有些孤僻
It’s created a bit of loneliness.
后来我选择追寻音乐理想，事实证明这很蠢
Yeah, and then I chose to pursue music, which was stupid
因为你也知道，这会让外界对你评头论足
because, you know, it sets you up for a lot of judgment.
而且那些人真的很毒舌 – 是吧
And people really do judge. -Yeah.
呃…