This is insane.
我喜欢诶 – 谁把狗放出来啦？
I love it. -Who let the dogs out?
汪汪汪汪汪！
Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!
我认为我们可以做得更好
I think we can do better than that.
让我们四脚着地吧 – 啥？
Let’s get on all fours. -Wait, what?
我才不干
I’m not doing it.
谁把狗放出来啦？
Who let the dogs out?
汪汪汪汪汪！
Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!
很好！你们瞧，狗狗会汲取我们的热情
Yes! See, dogs feed on our enthusiasm.
所以我们要多多向他们释放积极的能量
So we want to show them a lot of positive energy.
我们先通过一个小小的角色扮演来开始今天的课程
We’re gonna start today’s class by doing a bit of role play.
好吗？ – 去他妈的
Okay? -Fuck off.
能请一位祖父母摆出母狗排尿的姿势吗？
Can one grandparent please adopt the female urination stance?
这是母狗在宫缩期间
Now, this is a common position
经常会摆出的一个姿势
that a bitch will adopt during contractions.
明白吗？
Okay?
就是这样，很好
There. Good.
我会来检查下大家的情况，好吗？
I’m gonna go around and check everyone out, okay?
快点，你要落后了，快起来 – 好吧好吧
Quick. You’re gonna fall behind. Get up. -Okay, all right.
噢，我差点踩到你的小母狗了
Okay. Oh, I almost stepped on your bitch.
你们这对小情侣可真甜啊
Oh, well, what a nice couple you are.
哦不，我们… – 我们不是情侣啦
Oh, no. We’re… -Oh, no, we’re not a couple.
我来帮你
All right.
感觉怎么样？ – 感觉好极了
How does that feel? -It feels great.
看好了
Okay.
当母狗宫缩的时候，要轻抚耳朵
A gentle ear rub and panting encouragement
并在耳边以喘息声进行鼓励
when a bitch is having contractions
有助于帮助正在分娩的母狗冷静下来
can really help calm a laboring bitch.
让我们大家一起喘气，好吗？
So let’s all pant together, okay?
就是这样 – 嗯
Yes. – Yeah.
看到他是怎么做的了吗？
See how he’s doing over here?
你们学会了吗？干得好
How are you guys doing? Good job.
女士，你要把你的胯部压低，挨着地板
Ma’am, you need to get your crotch lower to the floor. All right.
她刚刚说你是条好母狗诶
I mean, she said you were being a good bitch.
我们来再试一次
Let’s try it again.
她有必要说那么多遍“母狗”（婊♥子♥）吗？
Did she have to use the word “bitch” so much?
你还别说，我真学到了点东西
You know what, I actually learned something, though.
噢，是嘛？学到了啥？
Oh, yeah? We learned something?
妮可，她可是在用下面摩擦我的腿啊
I mean, Nicole, she was dry-humping my leg
还对我的脸呼气，要求我…
and breathing into my face, asking me to…
一二一，一二一 – 好吧，你都没在听我说话
Heel, heel, heel, heel, heel, heel. -Okay, you’re not even listening.
立定
Halt.
社交
Socialize.
领养的吗？ – 呃…是的
Rescue? -Uh, yeah.
真的吗？
Really?
对啊，真的
Yes, really. Yeah, really.
你为什么要结巴？你在撒谎吗？
Why’d you stutter? Are you lying?
什么？没有啊
What? No.
你看上去不像会领养的人啊
You don’t look like a rescuer.
怎么才叫像…我向你保证，她是我领养的
What does a rescuer… I mean, I assure you, she is a rescue.
最好是这样
She better be.
嘿！干什么呢？
Hey! What’s going on here?
这人是个后院狗贩子 – 你管谁叫狗贩子呢？
This man is a breeder. -Who are you calling a breeder?
女士，你给我滚远点！
Listen, lady. Back off!
吼什么喔
Jesus.
狗是一生的伴侣，而不仅仅是个圣诞节礼物
A dog’s for life, not just for Christmas.
我们知道，现在还他妈是九月
Yeah, we know. It’s fucking September.
你太猛了吧 – 骂你不就是骂我嘛？
That was amazing. -Yeah, well, we’re a pack, right?
这周过得可太忙了，但这应该叫充实，充实点好
This week has been crazy, but in a good way. In a good way.
你要当爹了，你兴奋吗？你肯定会做得很好
So, are you excited to be a dad? You’re gonna do so great.
谢谢你今天能这么配合，真是好玩又奇葩的一堂课
Hey, thank you so much for today. That was so fun and so weird.
也要谢谢你，确实挺有意思的
Yeah, and thank you. It was a blast.
嘿
Hey.
哇哦
Whoa.
咋了？ – 你…你看上去真漂亮
What? -You just… You look really, uh, good.
谢谢
Thanks.
你想一起出去玩吗？
Do you want to go out?
你可真是高估我了
Yeah, right.
没事的，来嘛，会很有趣的
No, come on. It’ll be fun.
你…就你和我吗？
Are you… Just you and me?
呃…
Uh…
不是不是，还有谢伊
No, no, no. I’m going to meet Shay.
噢
Oh.
娜奥米晚点应该也会来，所以我…
And Naomi, I think, later, so I just, um…
我只是不想丢下你一个人，如果你想跟我们一起出去玩的话
Just didn’t want to exclude you if you wanted to come out with us.
算了吧，去酒吧吗？
Just… No. At a bar?
是呀
Yeah.
不了，谢谢你的好意… – 来嘛，很好玩的
Yeah, no, thanks. Um… -Come on, it’ll be fun.
总得有人去遛狗
Somebody’s gotta walk the dogs.
呃…
Um…
算了，只是今晚不太行，其实我也有其他安排了
No, just not tonight. I mean, actually I have other plans.
我都安排好了，所以… – 噢
I’ve got some plans, so… -Oh.
其他安排啊，好吧
Other plans. Okay.
我不能有自己的安排吗 – 行啊，我懂你意思了
I sometimes have plans too. -Yeah, I get it.
你既然有安排了，那就好好享受你的安排吧
You’ve got plans. Have fun with your plans.
我会的，这些安排不是我瞎编出来的
I will. They’re real plans.
知道了，我的朋友
Okay, my friend.
别再说“安排”这个词了
Stop saying the word “plans.”
我晚点会回来遛狗的
I’ll be back later and I’ll walk the dogs.
谢谢你能临时陪我出来 – 那必须的呀，亲爱的
Thank you for hanging last minute. -Of course, babe.
真不敢相信那个宅男竟然拒绝了咱这位大美女
I can’t believe that hermit dude turned down this dime-piece.
他不是宅男啦 – 他无福消受咯
He’s not a hermit. -His loss.
他真不是
He’s not.
天呐
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
你在干嘛？
What are you doing?
亨特·福斯特里尼走也来了 – 是啊，我知道
Hunter Fosterini just walked in. -Yeah, yeah, I know.
你去洗手间的时候，我看到他给你发短♥信♥了
I saw he texted while you were in the bathroom,
所以我就回复了这里的地址
so I responded with your location.
妈的，谢伊 你为啥要这么干？
Goddamn it, Shay, why?
毕竟你被拒绝了，我以为你会想找个帅哥聊以慰藉
I thought you’d want a rebound beard since you were rejected.
我并不想
Well, I don’t.
真的吗？你变了
Really? You’ve changed.
进步很大啊，妮可 – 挡住我，挡住我
That’s awesome, Nic. Oh! Oh, oh. -Hide me. Hide me. Hide me. Hide me.
求你了! – 好吧，我…
Please! -Okay. Uh, I don’t…
叮咚！
Ding dong!
嗨！
Hi!
嘿妮可，哟！
Hey, Nicole. Yo!
嘿 – 你好吗？
Hey. -How are you?
你最近过得咋样？
Are you good?
不好，妮可，我过得不太好
No, Nicole. I am not good.
你也知道，我这周把我的房♥子挂牌出♥售♥了
As you know, I put my house on the market this week.
是啊 – 然后就卖♥♥掉了
Yeah. -And it sold.
以高于售价50万的价格成交了，还是用以太币（虚拟货币）付的款
For 500,000 over asking, all Ethereum.
所以妮可，我不是一般的好
So, no. No, Nicole. I am not good.
我是好得飞起！你干得太漂亮了！
I’m fricking fantastic! You did amazing!
我请大家喝一杯吧！龙舌兰如何？
A drink for everybody! Tequila, eh?
都到我鼻子里去了！
It went up my nose!
♪当我闭上眼♪
♪ When I close my eyes ♪
♪你依然萦绕在我心头♪
♪ You’re all that I’m thinking of ♪
♪当我道过晚安♪
♪ And when I say good night ♪
♪你仍然占据我的思绪♪
♪ You’re all that I’m thinking of ♪
♪在我回家途中♪
♪ And when I’m driving home ♪
♪你一直在我脑海里徘徊♪
♪ You’re all that I’m thinking of ♪
♪当我孤身一人，却不感寂寞，只愿你知晓♪
♪ And when I’m all alone I’m not alone, just need you to know ♪
♪你就是我心中唯一的牵挂♪
♪ You’re all that I’m thinking of ♪
♪宝贝♪
♪ Baby ♪
你唱得太好了
You’re so good.
♪来吧，宝贝♪
♪ Come on, baby ♪
所以你是本地人嘛？ – 啊？
So, are you from here? -Huh?
你是本地人吗？
Are you from here?
你的家人呢？他们都住在这吗？