私恋失调（2002）

那个主播太能搞事了 我最喜欢这个节目的这个部分了
DJ Justice just cuts you down to size. That’s my favorite part of the show.
总是能让我不停的笑啊 笑啊 笑啊的
I laugh– I laugh and laugh. Even when I’m alone.
你的生意怎么样 那些布丁你全卖♥♥出去了吗
So, uh, how’s your business going? Did you sell all that pudding?
布丁不是用来卖♥♥的
That pudding is not a sales item.
为什么
Why?
那不是要卖♥♥的
It’s not for sale.
真的
Really? Uh…
为什么
Wh-Why is that?
我还是不说的好
I’d rather not say, if that’s okay.
哦 很抱歉 还真是个神秘的布丁呢
Oh. I’m sorry. What is it, like, a secret pudding?
那你千万别告诉别人 行吗
Let’s just keep it between you and I, if that’s possible.
当然
Sure, sure.
“健康选择”和美国航♥空♥联合搞了个促销
Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together for this promotion.
购买♥♥任何10款”健康选择”的产品
If you buy any ten of Healthy Choice products,
就可以得到500公里的免费飞行公里数
they will award you 500 frequent flyer miles.
如果加上优♥惠♥券的话 就可以得到1000公里
With this special coupon, they’ll up it to a thousand miles.
我认为他们是促进他们的红烧鸡块的销量 原价是1.79美金
So I think they’re trying to push their teriyaki chicken, which is $1.79.
但我在逛超♥市♥的时候
But I went to the supermarket and I looked around,
我发现他们的布丁
and I saw that they had pudding
只卖♥♥每杯25美分
for 25 cents a cup.
一包4个
Comes in packages of four.
但不可思议的是
But, insanely,
每一个杯子上都印着条形码的
the bar codes are on the individual cups.
1个杯子25美分的话
So, a quarter a cup…
如果你买♥♥了2块5毛钱的布丁
Say you bought $2.50 worth.
就能得到500公里
That’s worth 500 miles.
如果再加上优♥惠♥券 就是1000公里
With the coupon, it’s a thousand miles.
这是他们营销上的一个失误 可却被我利用了
It’s a marketing mistake, but I’m taking advantage of it.
如果你花3000美金买♥♥布丁的话
If you were to spend $3,000,
那可就是1百万公里的免费飞行
that would get you a million frequent flyer miles.
你这辈子就不用买♥♥飞机票了
You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life.
所以你就弄了一大堆的布丁和优♥惠♥券
So you– you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flyer miles?
没错
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
你简直疯了
That’s insane.
我想那可能是他们的一个失误
I’m guessing it was a mistake.
但我利用了这个失误
But I’m taking advantage of it while it’s offered.
啊
Ah.
谁知道这个促销能持续多久啊 很多人应该已经开始抢♥购♥了
Who knows how long it’ll last if too many people start doing it.
嗯
Mm-hmm.
你的姐姐告诉我了一些你的过去
Your sister was telling me a very funny story about you–
当你
when you guys–
在你小时候
when you were kids.
有一次你正在搭狗窝 你从窗户扔榔头
You were building a ramp for the dog and you threw a hammer through a window.
你曾经用榔头把门砸碎了
You threw a hammer straight through a sliding glass door.
有这回事吗
Is that right?
扔榔头 我不记得了
Threw a hammer. I don’t remember doing that.
我姐姐总说谎的
My sister’s a liar.
我得去下洗手间
I have to go to the bathroom.
好的
Okay. Sorry.
服务员来了吗
And the waiter come by yet?
你好 – 嗨
Hello. – Hi.
嘿 我能和您谈一下吗 先生 – 什么事
Can I talk to you, sir? – Why?
就耽误您几分钟 – 好吧
I just need you for a second, please. – Okay.
先生 我们的洗手间被人给砸了 – 然后呢
Sir, the bathroom was just torn apart. – Yeah.
是你干的吗 – 不是
Did you do it? – No.
不是你刚刚把洗手间砸了的吗 – 不是我
You didn’t just smash up the bathroom? – No.
那是谁
Well, who did?
我不知道
I don’t know.
你的手在流血 – 我自己割的
Sir, your hand is bleeding. – I cut myself.
怎么割的 – 用我的小刀
How? – On my knife.
怎么了
What? What?
先生 你的手在流血 – 我知道
Sir, your hand is bleeding. – I know.
我必须请你离开 – 可是我什么也没干过
I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. – Yeah, but I didn’t do anything.
先生 我无法证明到底是不是你砸了洗手间
Sir, I’ve got no way to prove that you smashed up the bathroom–
我没做过 没有
I didn’t do that. I didn’t.
我必须请你离开餐厅 – 好的 我没做过
Look, I’m gonna have to ask you to go. – Okay. I didn’t do it though.
我必须请你离开餐厅 – 别这么对我
I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. – Please don’t do this to me.
先生 我要报♥警♥了好的 – 我能不能不走
Sir, I’m gonna call the police. – All right. Can I just stay?
先生 我他妈的要打爆你的脑袋 给我滚出去
Sir, I’m gonna crack your fuckin’ head open. Get out of here.
我们该走了 我不喜欢这儿
We should go. I think I don’t like it here, okay?
好的 – 好吧
Okay. – All right.
多谢
Thank you.
好吧 – 好吧 你砸的 能看出来
Okay. – Okay. You hit it. You can tell.
哦 那么
Oh, yeah. So, um,
你知道吗
you know that–
你摆在你办公室里的那台风琴
the harmonium that– it’s ended up in your office?
风琴
Harmonium?
就是那台钢琴
The piano.
你是从街上偷回来的吧
Did you steal that from the street?
你说什么
What’s this?
你偷的 对吧
You did, didn’t you?
是的 是我♥干♥的 是你的吗
Yeah, I did. Why? Is it yours?
不 是你的了
No, it’s yours.
你准备弹它吗
Um, you learning to play it?
呃
Um–
我倒是还不准备开音乐会
I wouldn’t put on any concerts yet.
虽然我 想开 – 好吧
I’m trying. – Okay.
抱歉 关于那些布丁
So, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry about the pudding
风琴什么的 我并不是想
and the harmonium and everything, but, um, I…
你当然不是 – 你一定经常旅行吧
Not at all. – You must travel quite a lot.
哦 不不不 我不旅行的
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I don’t travel.
不
Oh.
左拐 然后停车吧
Uh, you want to take a left just up here.
我得走了 好的
Okay, I’m gonna go.
很高兴能再见到你
Well, it’s good to see you again.
很高兴能再见到你 还和你约会
Good to see your face again and go out with you.
这几天我还会呆在城里的
I’m gonna be around or back in town in a few days.
可如果你想去夏威夷的话 – 我不知道
But if you come to Hawaii… – I don’t know.
你不去吗 – 看情况吧 我现在还不知道
You don’t think you’ll go? Okay. – We’ll see about that. I don’t know.
好吧 那等我回来之后给你打电♥话♥ – 好的 太好了
I’ll call you when I get back. – Okay.
祝你一路顺风了
Have a good trip.
再见
And bye-bye.
再见
And bye-bye.
再见 他妈的
And bye-bye, you fuckin’–
再见 我真♥他♥妈♥的是个白♥痴♥
And bye-bye, you stupid motherfucker.
你是贝里吗
Are you Barry?
有事吗 – 你的电♥话♥
Yes. – This is for you.
好的
Okay.
谢谢 – 不客气
Thank you. – Welcome.
我是贝里
This is Barry.
是我 丽娜
It’s me. It’s Lena.
嘿
Mmm. Hi.
我想告诉你
I just wanted you to know,
无论你现在身在何处, 无论你正在做些什么
wherever you’re going or whatever you’re doing right now,
我想你知道 我现在非常想吻你
I want you to know that I wanted to kiss you just then.
真的
Really?
是的
Yeah.
哦 太好了
That was good.
是的
Yeah.
那我们回头见吧
I’ll see you later.
好的
Okay.
我不是经常发脾气的
I don’t freak out very often.
什么意思
What do you mean?
别信我姐姐说的话 好吗
No matter what my sister says, okay?
我不太清楚你的意思
I don’t know what you mean.
我不爱发脾气的 – 知道了
I don’t freak out. – Okay.
一路顺风了
Have a good trip.
谢谢
Thank you.
这是500块 最多就这些了
So, I got $500. That’s maximum–
我每天只能取这么多 – 好的
That’s what I can take out in a day. – Okay.