X计划（2012）

我们完了!
We’re fucked!
– 什么? – 嘿 这里在干什么?
What? Oh, hey, what’s going on?
– 房♥间里有人! – 哦 完了
– There’s people in the house! – Oh, shit.
– 嘿 考斯特 – 他们要进去 我一个人拦不住
– Hey, Costa. – I’m understaffed.
– 跟我来 帮帮我 – 我的天
– Come on, I need your fucking help, man. – Goddamn it.
哇
Wow. Whoa.
嘿 你好 欢迎 欢迎参加派对 欢迎光临
Hey. Hey, hi. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to party. Welcome, welcome.
– 你好! – 迈尔斯!
– Yo! – Miles!
小家伙 玩得怎么样?
Little dude. What’s up, man? How we doing?
– 这几位是艾什莉 瑞秋 莎拉 – 你们好
– That’s Ashley, Rachel, Sarah. – Hi, hi.
这些人都是我带来的 该死的镜头让我起鸡皮疙瘩
I brought all these people to your party. Fucking camera creeps me out.
– 没事… 别担心 – 走吧
– Yeah, it’s… Don’t worry – Let’s go.
我说的是屋子里的这些人
I’m talking about the fucking people in the house.
屋子要是有什么 我爸妈肯定要杀了我
My parents are gonna crucify me if anything gets fucked up.
我不管他们是不是觉得我二 我要请他们出去了 就现在
I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m a dick. I’m getting them out of the house. Now.
靠 住手 我认真的
Fuck, hey, stop, seriously.
老兄 你在干什么?
Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
– 托马斯 别这样让我难堪 – 嘿 各位!
– Please don’t embarrass me like this. – Hey, listen up!
哦 托马斯! 酷!
Yeah, Thomas! Whoo!
哟 哥们儿! 寿星站在桌子上! 我就喜欢你这样儿的
Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table! That’s what I like to see, baby.
– 你玩的还开心么? – 很好
– You having a good time? – Yeah.
来吧 伙计们 让我们找点喝的 今晚我们好好爽爽
Come on, guys, let’s start making some drinks. Let’s get crazy in this bitch.
有何贵干 先生?
Can I help you, sir?
– 我要见托马斯 – 您贵姓 先生
– I’m here to see Thomas. – First and last name, please.
我叫罗布 他邻居 你♥他♥妈♥是谁?
I’m Rob, the neighbor. Who the fuck are you?
– 我进去问问 先生 – 随便 你给我闪开
– I’ll ask the questions, sir. – Exactly. Get the hell out of my way.
– 罗布 你好 有什么事吗? – 嘿
– Rob, hey. What can I do for you, man? – Hey.
你瞧 我不是想扫你的兴
Look, man, I don’t mean to be a dick here or anything.
你朋友之前奥利弗找过我 说你有个派对…
Oliver came over earlier and told me you guys were having a little party…
…但是这有点过头了
…but this is too much.
好的 其实我们差不多要结束了
Yeah, we actually should be winding down,
大概午夜吧 我觉得 差不多一点钟
like midnight, I mean, maybe 1.
– 可以吗? – 不 不行 对不起
– Is that okay? – No, it’s not.
小孩子睡不着 梅利娜明天上早班
The baby can’t sleep, Melinda works early tomorrow.
来得好 罗布要来大闹派对啦! 么一个!
Fuck, yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah!
– 很高兴你来 – 其实 我不是来玩的
– Good to see you. – Actually, I’m not raging.
我是来告诉托马斯 这该结束了
I’m telling Thomas it’s time to shut it down.
你不是认真的吧 他们玩得正嗨 别这样
You can’t be serious. This is a great party.
我认真的 现在11点半了 该结束了
I am serious, because it’s 11:30 at night. It’s time to wrap it up.
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey.
我们把人带到后面去 声音小点儿?
Why don’t we bring everyone to the back, lower the volume?
伙计 我不是在求你们 好吗? 该结束了
Guys, this isn’t a request. The party’s over.
我猜 我们是没有谈判余地了吧 是吗?
I guess we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree, then, aren’t we?
听我说 托马斯 要么结束 要么我报♥警♥
Listen to me, Thomas. Either shut it down or I’m calling the cops.
这…
Ahh.
好吧 你赢了 我去报♥警♥… 啊!
Fine. Fuck it. I’m calling the fucking cops… Aah!
– 靠! -尼玛!
– Fuck! – Oh, shit!
我的上帝! 你在干什么?
Jesus fucking Christ! What’d you do that for?
你♥他♥妈♥在干吗? 找死!
Are you kidding me? I will fucking kill you!
他居然电击我! 我一定要去找警♥察♥了!
The little fuck Tased me! I’m definitely calling the cops now!
你朝着个孩子的脸打! 我也要报♥警♥了
You punched a kid in the face! I’m calling the cops on you.
那去啊 白♥痴♥ 都录下了 这家伙一直在录
Do it, genius. It’s all on tape. I just saw this motherfucker record it.
我只拍到你打了这孩子
All I got was you punching that little child’s face.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you.
回家吧 罗伯特!
Go home, Robert!
他只是个孩子!
It was just a kid, man!
– 你还好吧? – 他怎么样?
– Are you all right, man? – Is he okay?
你真是吊爆了
You’re a fucking champion.
他个混球居然打你 真打起来你一定干翻他
He sucker-punched you. You’d own that bitch in a real fight.
– 你真这么想? – 我知道你行
– You think so? – I know so.
干翻他 弄死他
Fuck that asshole. You’re killing it, bro.
– 哟 考斯特 你好吗? – 好 去后面吧
Yo, Costa, what’s up? – Yo, go in the back.
我要你把力度调低百分之10或者15 你不能用这么大的电
I need you to dial back like 10, 15 percent. You can’t hard-charge all the time.
明白? 然后丢掉电击棒 行?
All right? And lose the Taser, okay?
– 明白了 – 下来
– Got it. – Get down here.
我们需要在那混球家插个哨兵
We need a post up at the cockbiter’s house.
要是他报♥警♥ 马上告诉我 明白?
If he calls the cops, I want you to radio it over to me, okay?
去吧 走
Get out of here. Go.
亚历克茜刚才在电你 你应该上大学的妞
Alexis was eye-fucking you, and you got college girls on your dick.
– 你酷毙了! – 伙计 我快烦死了
– You’re golden! – Dude, I’m so fucked.
– 放松 一切正常 – 放屁
– Relax, man, everything’s going great. – Shit.
你们在找死? 我不是叫你俩滚了吗?
Are you fucking kidding me? Didn’t I tell you two to fuck off?
– 给我下来 – 拜托 这里有200多人了
– Get down here now. – Come on, there’s like 200 people here.
我不管 T 把这两新生带走
I don’t care. T, get these freshmen out of here.
这是成人的聚会 滚吧
This is a party for grownups. Let’s fucking go.
没用的 这家伙比我们还小
Makes no sense. This kid’s younger than we are.
– 他们怎么上去的? -快走 朋友
How the hell did they get up there? – Move it, fellas.
– 你也是 出去 – 做得好 就这样
– You too, get out of here. – That’s my boy. That’s my boy.
瞧 这孩子专业的 我们用不着慌
See, the kid’s a pro. We got nothing to worry about.
伙计 你听见罗布怎么说了 他报♥警♥咋办?
Dude, you heard Rob, man. What if he calls the cops?
他不敢 他打了一个12岁孩子的脸
The guy isn’t gonna do shit. He punched a 12-year-old in the face.
托马斯 一切都在控制内 让我们好好玩玩
Thomas, everything’s under control. Let’s just have some fun.
我负责 好吗?
I got this, okay?
我要跳了 姑娘们!
Cannonball, bitches!
正在水中拍摄 我是托马斯·库布
This is the Thomas Kub pool cam.
伙计 看那 快看
Dude, check it out. Check it out.
哇哇哇 看那块牌子 宝贝儿
Whoa, whoa, whoa, read the sign, honey.
对不起 不是我订的
Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
不会吧
No fucking way.
伙计 去吧
Dude, go over there.
你相信自己的眼睛吗?
Do you fucking believe this?
好极了! 哈哈!
Yeah! Ha, ha!
呜!
Whoo!
太爽了!
Whoo-hoo!
– 我的上帝啊! – 靠! 这货疯了!
Oh, my God! – Holy shit! Fucking insane!
上帝啊 伙计 牌子立功了
Oh, my God. Dude, that sign fucking worked.
你得有信念 孩子
You gotta have faith, son.
你要不要来杯酒?
Would you like a glass of wine?
我们有红酒 白酒 红葡萄酒 梅落红
We’ve got red, we’ve got white. You know, Cabernet, Merlot.
来瓶啤酒就行了
Just another beer would be great.
呃…
Uh…
看我们
Here we are.
喔
Whoa.
哇 好的
Wow. Okay.
嘿J.B!
J.B.!
这个怎么会在这儿? 有人在我爸妈屋里吗?
How did this thing get up here? Was someone in my parents’ room?
不就是个小人偶么 我猜他自己长了脚 谁在乎啊 哥们儿?
It’s a gnome. I guess he gets around. Who cares, man?
嗯 我就是不想人们上来
Well, I just don’t want people up here.
再说 这太奇怪的 看看他
Besides, it’s creepy. Look at him.
– J.B.你在找什么? – 看你♥爸♥爸有没有套套
– J.B., what are you looking for? – To see if your dad has condoms.
我在楼下有计划
I’m working on something.
你唯一的计划就是得糖尿病 死胖子
Only thing you’re working on is diabetes, you fat fuck.
哦 老兄 亚历克茜给我发了条短♥信♥
Oh, dude, Alexis just texted me.
什么? 说什么了?
What? What’s it say?
“现在要为过生日的男孩儿庆生了吗”?
“Body shots for the birthday boy right now”?
– 老兄 好戏要开始了! – 快来看看
– Dude, it’s fucking on! – Check it out.
– J.B.不是吧 你在干嘛? – 你♥爸♥真是怪人
– J.B., seriously, what are you doing? – Your dad is a freak.
别闹了 把那个给我
Stop. Give me that.
考斯特别闹了 等等 考斯特 你到底要干嘛?
Costa, stop, wait. Costa, what are you doing?
– 回复 – 别 喂 别发送
– Replying. – Don’t. Here, don’t send that.
– 发送了 太晚了 哥们儿 – 你写的什么?
– Sent. Too late, man. – What did you write?
“我想亲亲你屁屁 妈咪”?
“I want your ass too, Mommy”?
“我想亲亲你屁屁 妈咪”? 谁会说这种话?
“I want your ass, Mommy”? Who talks like that?
我就说 这种脏话很有作用的
I do. The shit works.
去吧 去跟她聊聊
Go. Go talk to her.
哦
Oh.
嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
等下 不是 等下 你这是干啥? 不是那样的 不是那样的
Wait. No, wait. What are you doing? Not like that. Not like that.
像这样
Like this.
这个放你嘴里
Put this in your mouth.