X计划（2012）

Am I invited?
– 是 当然 你能来 – 太好了
– Yeah, dude, fine. Yeah, you can come by. – Nice.
哦 伙计们 还是谢谢你们 晚上玩得开心点
Thank you very much. Have a good time at your party.
谢谢 真的感谢 要是想来什么时候都行
Thank you, I appreciate this. Come by anytime you want.
– 好的 谢谢 – 好吧
– All right, see you. – All right.
– 再见 宝贝 – 回头见
– Bye, baby. – See you guys.
嗨 我叫J.B. 是你对面邻居托马斯·库布的朋友
Hi, uh, my name’s J.B. I’m a friend of Thomas Kub, your neighbor across the street.
今晚我们会开个小派对…
I just wanted to let you know that we’re gonna be having a party…
有可能会有点吵 我只是想说
…and it may get a little loud and noisy, but I just wanted to let you know…
如果你有什么问题的话 我很乐意帮忙
…that if you have any concerns, just let me know and I’ll be glad to help out.
你可以打电♥话♥给我 也可以给我发条短♥信♥
You can call me, uh, you could send me a text message.
我挺开放的 我也注册了”非死不可” 你可以这样写
I’m an open guy. I even have a Facebook account. You can send me:
“有点吵了噢” 我会说”我会让他们小声点” 明白了吗?
“it’s a little too loud,” and I’ll be like, “I’ll tell them to keep it down.” You know how it goes?
– DJ呆在那儿 – 行
– DJ’s over there. – Cool.
– 嗯 吧台设在那边 – 不错
– Um, got the bar set up over here. – Nice.
– 卡拉OK就在泳池旁的屋子里 – 行
– Karaoke in the pool house. – Nice.
老天 伙计 这个气垫屋哪来的?
Holy shit, dude! Where’d you get a bouncy-house?
– 考斯特找的关系 – 你懂的
– Costa hooked it up. – You know it, baby.
加个50块给个流动厕所 他们还把这些免费扔给我们了
Fifty bucks extra with the port-a-potty. And they threw these in for free.
– 干得不错 – 当然 这可是生日派对
– Nice touch. – Why not? It’s a birthday party.
你们就傻站着? 来搭把手
You wanna help? Do something.
– 嘿 傻吊 把你那双胞胎兄弟拿过来 – 去你的
– Hey, Chubs, grab your twin brother there. – Fucking dick.
– 嘿 瞧瞧这个 – 好像这么说就有用似的
– Hey, dudes, check it out. – Yeah, like that’s gonna work.
肯定会奏效 下次要是再有人来你这泳池 他会这么说:
Yes, it is gonna work. Next time your pool guy’s here, he’ll be like:
“抱歉 库布先生 我好像在你的精池里发现了一些水”
“Excuse me, Mr. Kub. I seem to have found some water in your semen.”
太他妈恶心了
That’s fucking disgusting.
只准裸女下池
J.B.说了让你找些冰
J.B., I thought I told you to pick up ice.
找了 放在车♥库♥冰箱里了
I did. It’s in the freezer in the garage.
– 你在干吗? – 为派对修体塑身
– What the fuck are you doing? – Getting in shape for the party.
– 就剩三个小时了 – 大多重量都是水分
– The party’s in three hours. – It’s mostly water weight.
– 摔跤手一直这么干 – 得了 摔跤手还一直摔跤呢
– Wrestlers do it all the time. – Wrestlers also wrestle all the time.
– 把速度调快一些 – 别 考斯特
– Crank this thing up. – No.
你不加快些 那根本没用
It’s not gonna work unless you crank it up.
停下停下
Stop. Stop. Stop.
– 我们走吧 – 达克斯 帮帮我
– Let’s go, come on. – Dax. Dax, help me.
– 不 达克斯 你就看着 – 帮帮我! 达克斯! 啊!
– No, Dax, you’re here to observe. – Help me! Dax! Aah!
天哪! 你还好吧伙计? 哦 我的天 J.B.你怎么样?
Jesus Christ! Are you all right, dude? Oh, my God, J.B., are you all right?
再有一个小时 这里就要成疯人院啦
An hour from now, this place is a fucking madhouse.
别疯人院 只是欢乐的 体面的派对
Not a madhouse, just gonna be a fun, decent-sized party.
别紧张 给你 你
Relax. For you. You.
我的 达克斯
Me. Dax.
谢谢 可我不喝酒
Thank you, I don’t drink alcohol.
好吧 臭基佬
Okay, faggot.
– 敬让我们一泻千里的这个夜晚 – 干杯
– To one sick fucking night. – Cheers.
过来 来啊
Come on over, over
靠! 拜托!
Shit! Come on!
漂亮 你怎么会玩得这么菜考斯特?
Yes. How are you so fucking bad at this game, Costa?
闭嘴 柯比 怪你分散我注意力
Shut up, Kirby. You’re killing my concentration right now.
– 哈哈! 托马斯 过来! – 混♥蛋♥!
– Ha, ha! Thomas, come here! – Fucker!
我把考斯特干翻了!
I’m kicking Costa’s ass!
哦 看这个
Oh, watch this.
– 混♥蛋♥! – 我好像赢了
– Shit! – It looks like I win.
– 干♥你♥ – 伙计们 现在已经9点20了
Fuck you. – You guys, it’s like 9:20 already.
没事 人马上就回来 我保证 兄弟
Dude, relax. People are gonna show up. I promise, bro.
– 天色越来越晚 – 要是没人来 我看起来那就蠢爆了
Getting late. – I’ll look like such a dick if no one shows.
别说了 你不相信我所做的 真叫我痛心
Shut the fuck up. It’s pissing me off that you don’t trust me to know what I’m doing.
我可是社交圈里的大人物 向来说一不二
I’m the hub of a large social circle. I put the word out, it goes out.
好吧 不错
Okay, cool.
– 天 – 你身上穿的什么?
– Oh, shit. – What the fuck are you wearing?
– 上帝 – 漂亮
– My God. – Nice.
– 你今晚肯定有床上 – 女士们喜欢眼镜男
You’re gonna get laid, dude. – Ladies love a guy with class.
你低能吗?
Are you retarded?
上帝啊 你从哪来的这身行头?
Jesus Christ, man. Where do you even get shit like that?
– 成衣店 – 成衣店? 嘿 等等等等
– Men’s Wearhouse. – Men’s Wearhouse? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
什么?
What is it?
哇 伙计 这居然… 我真不敢相信有人来了
– Wow, dude, this is fucking… – I can’t believe it fucking worked.
我刚才说什么来着? 别质疑专家 蠢货!
What did I say? Don’t doubt the master, bitches!
朋友 我们成功了
Dude, we done good.
天 这些小妞们太辣了
Jesus, all those chicks are really hot.
– 还是一堆一堆来的 – 太疯狂了
– They’re coming in packs. – This is insane.
怎么样 宝贝?
What up, baby girl?
伙计 这超过50人了吧
Dude, this is way more than 50 people.
当然 全都是他们带来的
Of course it is, it’s plus-one.
那就是亚历克茜 她居然来了
That’s fucking Alexis, dude. She came, man.
– 太辣了 – 哇
– Damn, dude. – Whoa.
托马斯 这是你的派对 而她是这儿最漂亮的女孩儿
Thomas, this is your party, and she’s the hottest girl here.
– 她归你了 – 好极了
– That better be yours tonight. – Damn.
– 你怎么不喝一点儿 托马斯? – 我和饮料吧
– Where the fuck is your drink, Thomas? – I’m between beverages.
这算什么话? J.B.给他弄杯喝的
What the fuck does that even mean? J.B., get this bitch a drink.
好的
Yeah, all right.
在这儿是个人多多少少要喝一点
Everybody in the club gettin’ tipsy
那个留着八字胡的家伙是谁?
Who’s that dude with the mustache?
哦 那是拉罗萨 他是毕业生
Oh, that’s LaRosa. He graduated.
什么时候 1986年的?
When, in 1986?
嘿 你就不能稍微让自己享受享受吗?
Hey, will you at least try and have a good time?
我来了!
Whoo!
明白了吗? 系住了?
Got it? You tie it?
– OK啦 准备好了 – 升空
– He’s good. Ready to go. – Blast off.
这可不好玩
That is not fucking cool.
我的上帝啊 一直飞天小狗狗!
Oh, my God, it’s a flying dog!
真狗版飞屋环游记
It’s just like Up.
那是我的狗
It’s my fucking dog.
我得拍下来
I gotta record this.
你确定?
Are you serious right now?
– 去你的 我要把它放进房♥间里 – 我帮你
– Fuck this, I’m putting him inside. – Let me help you.
嘿
Hey.
你妈要是看见 你猜会怎么样?
Can you imagine if your mom ever saw that?
那是我的狗
It’s my fucking dog.
可怜的麦洛
Poor Milo.
不知道 挺好玩的
I don’t know. It’s pretty funny.
– 也许我该放上YouTube – 不 别 别
– Maybe I’ll post it on YouTube. – No, don’t, don’t, don’t.
说真的 不要放
Seriously, stop. Stop.
你也太好骗了吧 我喜欢
Come on, you’re way too easy. I love it.
讨厌
I hate you.
你会没事的 麦洛 我保证
You’ll be okay, Milo. I promise.
好吧 我们现在应该回外面去了
All right, well, um, we better get back out there.
嘿 库布 怎么了 狗呢?
Hey, yo, Kub. Hey, yo, what up, dog?
你怎么样 伙计?
Yo, what’s up, bro?
– 嘿 怎么样? – 派对搞的不错
– Hey, man, what’s up? – Nice party, man.
哦 谢谢 你介不介意从我爸的车上起来?
Hey, thanks. Would you guys mind getting off my dad’s car?
这车要是有什么 他会抓狂的
It’s just he’ll go crazy if anything happens to it.
– 哦 好的 – 好
– Oh, yeah, yeah. – All right.
– 谢谢 非常感谢 – 没事的
– Thanks, man, I appreciate it. – Yeah, no problem.
托马斯! 吃我一枪
Thomas! You’re taking a bullet from me right now.
– 里面是什么? – 龙舌兰 受死吧
– What is that? – Tequila. Just fucking take it.
– 好吧 你个混球 – 过来过来
– All right. Fuck, dude. – Come here. Come on.
嘿 女士们 谁想跟过生日的小伙一起吃枪子儿?
Ladies, who wants to take a shot with the birthday boy?
– 来吧 – 哇哦…
– Hell, yeah. – Whoa, uh… Oh.
– 当心点儿 – 她是专业的 张开吧
– Careful. – She’s a professional. Open up.
吃吧 哦上帝 她来了次深喉啊
Take it. Oh, my God, she’s got a deep throat.
– 好 张开 张嘴 快 – 对!
– Okay, open up, open up. Now. – Yeah!
– 对不起? – 哦 嘿
– Pardon? Oh, hey. – Hey.
– 怎么样 伙计们? – 不错 我们做到了
– What’s up, guys? – Well, we did it.
太棒了 我们是如何把他们都拽来的?
This is amazing. How did we get all these people to show up?
瞧好了 伙计们 我很确定 那小妞是登过花♥花♥公♥子♥
Check it out, guys. I’m pretty sure it’s that girl from Playboy.
谁? 哦 天 就是她
– Who? – Oh, my God, it is her.
她三年前毕业 她上过太平洋十校联盟的那期
She graduated three years ago. She’s in Playboy’s Pac-10 issue.
– 我先看到 归我了 – 你能行才怪
– Dibs. – Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.
好吧 为了以防万一 我先说一下
Well, I want to declare it, just in case.
– 哇 – 我靠
– Whoa. – Oh, shit.