X计划（2012）

I mean, no one even knows who we are.
如果我们想出名 也得制♥造♥出名的机会才行
If we want to be bigtime players, we need to make a bigtime play.
你懂我的意思了没?
You feel me?
J.B.搞什么 伙计? 你老二勃起来了?
J.B., what the fuck, man? Why do you have a boner?
– 我没勃 只是我的内♥裤♥折起来了 – 快遮起来
– I don’t, it’s just my underwear sitting funny. – Cover up.
简直太恶心了
That’s absolutely disgusting.
派对又不在你们家开 你♥他♥妈♥当然说得轻巧
It’s easy to talk shit when the party’s not even at your house.
老兄 别打退堂鼓啊 这场派对会改变我们的一切的
Dude, please don’t back out. This party is gonna change everything for us.
好吧 我的意思是 风险全是我在担着
Okay. Well, I mean, I’m the one taking the whole risk.
你们只需要露脸 狂喝就成了
All you do is show up and drink.
你以为要是出了问题 我们就撇下你不管了?
You think we’d ditch you if something went wrong?
– 你这样说我他妈要生气了 伙计 – 是啊 我也生气了
– I’m fucking offended, man. – Yeah, me too.
今晚的主要目的是让这些小妞…
The idea behind tonight is to get these bitches…
意识到我们也玩大的
…to recognize us as large-scale ballers.
回到皇后区 一堆美妞排着队给我吹♥箫♥
Back in Queens, I had hoes blowing me on the reg.
和你们俩混在一起之后 一个都没了!
I started hanging out with you two. Zero!
我只是看不出这还有什么意义
I just don’t really see the point any more.
你怎么能看不出来有什么意义? 这就是意义 这也是意义
How do you not see the point? There’s the point. There’s the point.
好吧
Okay.
那边还他妈有两个意义在呢! 你身边全是意义
There’s two more fucking points right there! It’s all around you.
老兄 我知道了
Dude, I get it.
你要是把派对搞砸了 我就爆了你 我不是开玩笑的
If you fuck this up, I will stab you. I’m not kidding.
– 好吧 不准超过20人 – 20人?
– Okay, no more than 20 people. – Twenty people?
– 好吧 30人 – 30人?
– All right, 30 people. – Thirty people?
没错 我得保证我家房♥子不会炸开锅
To make sure my house doesn’t get fucked.
对我们来说 30个人什么也改变不了
J.B.: Thirty people won’t change anything for us.
好吧 听着 最多50个 不能再多了
All right, look, okay, 50 people, absolute max.
好 绝对不超过50人
Fine, 50 people, absolute max.
能让派对嗨起来就行了
You know, just big enough to be cool.
风沙 很多时候是比那些手持武器的人更可怕的对手
Sand, an adversary in many ways more dangerous than those carrying weapons.
短♥信♥内容：托马斯·库布家要举♥行♥疯狂派对
正妞要穿着正点出席 恐龙就宅在家里别来了
大众营销 搞定
Mass marketing, handled.
– 嘘 – 好 当然了 杰克 什么都有
– Shh. – Yeah, of course, Jack. Anything.
如果你们比我们先到…
And if you guys get there before we get there…
你们就可以在后院安定下来…
…you can just get in the backyard and set up…
– 想干嘛干嘛 – 达克斯 达克斯 从上面拍
– …and do what you gotta do. – Dax, Dax. Go film over the top.
好 我们真的非常感激
Okay. Really, we appreciate that.
噢 呃… 我待会再给您回电♥话♥ 先生 抱歉
Oh, uh… I have to call you back, sir. I’m sorry.
你们干嘛啊? 快滚出去!
What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here!
– 你♥他♥妈♥的在干什么啊? – 伙计 嘿 伙计们 搞什么?
What the fuck are you doing? – Guys. Hey, guys, what the fuck?
你们现在想惹毛我吗?
Are you fucking with me right now?
听着 刚才是为了你的生日派对打的业务电♥话♥
Look. That was a business call for your party.
谁会一边拉屎一边打业务电♥话♥啊?
Who takes a shit and makes a business call?
– 你们开什么玩笑? – 现在你可以安静地拉屎了
– Are you kidding? – Now you can shit in peace.
别闹了 老兄 什么也看不见了 这里太他妈太黑了
Come on, dude. I can’t see a thing. It’s dark as fuck in here.
达克斯 来 咱们再靠近点
Dax, come on. Let’s get closer.
– 呵呵 – 我想应该会很好玩的
– Heh, heh. – It should be pretty cool, I think.
就是放松放松
Basically chill.
大部分我让考斯特负责了
I’m letting Costa plan most of it.
噢 听起来这主意真是太棒了
Oh, that sounds like a really brilliant idea.
不 他做得不错 他准备了 呃 一堆酒食 还有…
No, he’s doing a good job. He’s getting, like, a bunch of booze and then…
我觉得他像个电台主持
…I think, like, a DJ.
电台主持 扫兴到家了 哈
– A DJ. Super chill. – Ha.
猜猜库布妈妈和库布爸爸给…
Guess what Mama Kub and Papa Kub got for…
– 库布宝宝? – 库布宝宝什么生日礼物
– Baby Kub? – …Baby Kub for his birthday.
– 什么? – 库布小车
– What? – The Kub Mobile.
– 他们把那辆小货车给你了? – 生日礼物 没错
– They gave you the minivan? – For my birthday, yes.
你父母送出了史上最烂的礼物
Your parents give the worst gifts ever.
– 你的礼物呢? – 你说真的 老兄?
– Where’s your present? – You serious?
你差不多有10年没送过我生日礼物了那…
You haven’t gotten me a present in 10 years.
然后呢?
So?
但我这个朋友比你更称职 我倒真的准备了
But since I am a better friend than you, I did get you something.
– 噢 – 我晚上带过去 嘿 我得去跑步了
– Oh. – I’ll bring it tonight. Hey, I have to go run.
– 生日快乐 废物 – 啊
– Happy birthday, loser. – Ow.
– 别绊倒了 – 啊!
– Don’t trip. – Ow!
– 噢 该死! – 我没事! 呵
– Oh, shit! – I’m okay! Heh.
– 托马斯 来舔我老二 – 什么?
– Thomas, suck my cock. – What?
“库布妈妈和库布爸爸”? 老天呐
“Mama Kub and Papa Kub”? Jesus.
他们是我父母 混♥蛋♥
Yeah, those are my parents, asshole.
该死 她怎么这么火♥辣♥ 老兄
Damn, she’s so fucking hot, dude.
– 觉得她今晚会来吗? – 我没邀请她 这个得你出马
– Think she’ll come tonight? – I’m not inviting her. You gotta do this one.
亚历克茜才不会来的 她只和大学生上♥床♥
Alexis won’t come. She fucks college dudes.
“拉美”? 什么? 我不认识什么拉美
“Lamel”? What? I don’t know any Lamel.
别这样 他人很好的
No, he’s cool.
伙计们 我家里来一堆陌生人 是我最不想看到的
Guys, the last thing I want in my house is a bunch of randoms.
错 你最不想看到的是 你该死的家里连个人影都没有
Wrong. Last thing you want is nobody at your fucking house.
话传得越广 才越可能有小妞来参加我们的派对
The more word gets around, the more likely these chicks will show up at our party.
看仔细了 学着点 看大老二队长怎么做到的
Watch and learn how Captain Big Dick does it.
嘿 姑娘们 记得要穿紧身一点的衣服
Hey, girls. Just remember, wear something tight.
怎么样啊 姐♥妹♥们♥? 托马斯·库布家 8点
What’s up, sisters? Thomas Kub’s house, 8:00.
来吃点白巧克力吧
Come get a piece of this white chocolate.
你们今晚会去托马斯的生日派对吗?
Are you gonna be going to Thomas’s birthday party tonight?
– 托马斯? 那是谁? – 托马斯是谁?
– Thomas? Who’s that? – Who’s Thomas?
那个穿毛马甲的混♥蛋♥跟我们说的那个?
That thing that dick in the sweater vest was telling us about?
怎么样 宝贝? 晚八点
What’s up, baby? Eight o’clock.
你们对今晚的派对有什么期待?
What are your expectations for the party?
嗨一点 上上♥床♥ 你都知道的
Get high, fuck bitches, you already know.
– 我们会去的 我们能带人吗? – 我能带人吗?
– I think we’ll come. Can we bring people? – Can I bring people?
托马斯·库布家 8点
Thomas Kub’s house, 8:00.
噢 天呐!
Oh, shit!
啊!
Ahh!
我们现在见证的是小托马斯生命中…
What we are witnessing is truly a breathtaking moment…
真正激动人心的一刻
…in the life of young Thomas.
这个无助的胎儿长了一个小小的老二…
The helpless fetus is growing a tiny, tiny penis…
这个老二也许某一天会捅进这位女性的小♥穴♥…
…a penis he may someday insert into this female’s vagina…
他第一次的邂逅 她会不会吃了他呢
…should he survive his first encounter without her eating him.
– 纸巾 – 看招
– Paper towels. – Get long.
– 别闹! – 多拿点 老兄
Don’t! – Dude, get a ton.
噢 该死 超大号♥安全套 我才不会付这个钱
Oh, shit. Extra-large condoms. I’m not paying for that shit.
请注意 尊敬的顾客
Attention, valued shoppers.
噢 天呐
Oh, my God.
欢迎光临今晚在托马斯·库布家举♥行♥的”深交”娱乐活动
Join us for an evening of balls-deep entertainment at Thomas Kub’s house.
别闹了 老兄
Dude, stop.
嘿 小♥弟♥弟♥ 想喝点什么吗? 嘿
Hey, little buddy. Want something to drink? Hey.
他会抓住他 狠狠教训他一顿
He’s gonna catch him and he’s gonna get his ass kicked.
嘿你们 拿了橙汁没? 桑妮 D牌的 老兄
– You guys, we good on OJ? – Sunny D, dude.
拿着 扔到购物车里 我喜欢…
Grab it. Throw it in. I love…
鸡蛋拿了吗?
How are we doing on eggs?
真该死 老兄 是迈尔斯 特勒
Holy shit, dude. It’s Miles Teller.
– 果然是啊 老兄 就是他 天呐 – 他就是个混♥蛋♥
– Dude, it is. That’s him. Holy shit. – He’s so badass.
天啊 他的南加州大学棒球队首发二垒手
Yeah, my boy’s starting at second base for USC.
他蹲过拘留所 还上过老师
He got sent to detention once and banged the teacher.
迈 特勒 最近怎么样啊 老兄?
Mi-Tell, what’s cracking, bro?
– 我们常去北路看比赛 – 是啊 老兄 超级粉丝
– We go to North Pass. – Yeah, dude, big fans.
– 脑残粉丝 – 噢 那谢谢了
Huge fans. – Cool. Awesome.
看 我们在拍电影呢
Look, we’re making a movie.
– 快要请他 伙计 快 – 好 好 呃…
– Invite him, man. Come on. – All right. Okay. Um…
听我说 迈尔斯 今晚在我家有一个小聚会
We’re having a soiree at my place tonight.
如果你能来露露脸 应该会…
If you wanna swing by, it should be…
特勒 我兄弟现在就像个傻♥逼♥一样推销这个聚会
My boy is underselling this like a motherfucker.
聚会是合法的 你真应该过来玩玩
This shit’s gonna be legit. You should swing by.
好 但我去不了 我其实还有其他安排 所以可能去不了
Yeah, I can’t. I actually got other plans tonight, so I might not make it.
考虑一下吧 老兄 在狄更斯街 我们非常欢迎你去
Dude, think about it. It’s on Dickens Street. We’d love to have you.
– 呃 狄更斯街? – 是啊
– Uh, Dickens Street? – Yeah.
是你的派对? 你们说的就是这个?
That’s your party? You’re throwing that?
我要去的就是这个聚会 听说会玩得很疯
That’s where I’m going. Heard it’s gonna be crazy.
那就是我的派对 我是托马斯·库布 今天是我生日
That’s my party. I’m Thomas Kub. It’s my birthday today.
我听说有无数高中小妞
Yeah, I heard it’s gonna be unlimited high-school pussy.
老兄 可以玩好几天的高中小妞哦
Dude, high-school pussy for days.
怎么了? 专心做你的事 女士
What? Mind your own business, lady.
酒你们怎么办? 你们有酒吗?