前目的地

No! No!
有可能是孩子他爹
Could have been the baby’s father.
护士发誓 说是个老头但是谁又会偷我的小孩
The nurse swore it was an older man but who else would swipe my baby?
你做了神马
What’d you do?
填了一个人口失踪单子
Filed a missing person’s report.
检查收容机构 孤儿院
Checked adoption agencies, orphanages.
凡是你能说出来的 我都找了
You name it, I did it.
但毫无结果
But nothing.
就像她消声觅迹了一般
It’s like she vanished.
他们没找到那家伙
And they never found the guy?
从来没有
Never.
但随后我的其他小问题却找上门来了
But then my other little problem began to take center stage.
简 我想从我这里倒数10下
Jane, I want you to count backwards from 10 for me.
10 9 8
Ten, nine, eight,
7 6 5 4…
seven, six, five, four…
我花了11个月在那个该死的地方
I spent 11 months in that fucked-up place
接受了三次大手术
and had three major operations.
我开始吃睾丸激素
I started taking testosterone,
使得我的声音深沉一点
which deepened my voice a little bit
但是也不够那么深沉
but not enough.
因此我开始练习像男人那样说话
So I started practicing talking like a man.
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.
嘿
Hey.
你好 很高兴见到你
Hi, nice to meet you.
你好 很高兴见到你
Hi, nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你 今天天气真好
Nice to meet you. It’s a lovely day.
你好 很高兴见到你
Hi, nice to meet you.
天气真好
It’s a lovely day.
虽然我从没做的到位
I never could get it right, though.
你好
Hi.
我叫简
My name is Jane.
我名字叫简
My name is Jane.
你好 见到你很高兴
Hi, it’s nice to meet you.
我叫简
My name is Jane.
我叫…
My name is…
我总是很害怕照镜子
I was always afraid to look in the mirror
看见镜中的我看着自己
and see the person looking back at me.
我尽力规避
I held off as long as I could.
现在 却再也没事了
Now, it didn’t matter anymore.
我认识的那个人已经走了
The person I knew was truly gone.
陌生了
Strange.
每次我看见自己的新面容
Every time I looked at my new appearance
我提醒自己那些毁掉我人生的王八蛋
I was reminded of that bastard that ruined my life.
我想这是某种混乱的讽刺
That’s some messed up irony I guess.
有趣的是
The funny thing was
那些护士
the nurses,
她们认为我玉树凌风 潇洒迷人
they thought I was quite handsome.
是的
Yeah,
一个该死的讽刺
a fucking catch.
好 好 好
Right, right, right.
我想我也知道女人们想听到的
I guess I also knew what women wanted to hear.
祝贺 对吗
Compliments, right?
是的
Right.
好吧
Well,
貌似你长出来很完美
it seems to me you came out okay.
长出来很好
Came out okay?
额 你知道 我想说
Well, you know, I just mean
你似乎像一个
you just seem like a,
你懂的 一个正常男人
you know, a normal man.
是的
Yeah.
再正常不过了
More normal than ever now.
什么个程度呢 意味着什么
How so? What’s that mean?
好吧 我刚发现今早
Well, I just found out this morning that
我不在打发空闲时间了
I’m not shooting blanks anymore.
额 好吧
Well, all right.
医生预言 我完全能够生育
Doctor’s prognosis, I’m a fully fertile male specimen.
好吧 让我第一个祝贺你
Well, let me be the first to congratulate you.
欢迎来到男人阵营
Welcome to the tribe.
你知道 有时候
You know, sometimes
我想这个世界受到狗屎风暴是罪有应得
I think this world deserves the shit storm that it gets.
我知道
I know.
我意思是 让我们面对他 没有人是无辜的
I mean, let’s face it. Nobody’s innocent.
每个人利用其它人去得到他想要的东西
Everybody just uses everybody else to get what they want.
也许是
Maybe.
但也许又不是
Maybe not.
你听过”毁灭的女人”吗
You ever hear the expression “a ruined woman”?
当然
Of course.
是的 我就是毁灭的女人
Well, I was as ruined as a woman could be.
我不在是女人了
I was no longer a woman
并且我不知道如何成为一个男人
and I did not know how to be a man.
好吧 这确实需要花时间适应
Well, it does take some getting used to.
你不明白
You have no idea.
我并非说学会穿衣或者如何说话
I don’t mean learning how to dress or talk.
或者不走错洗澡间
Or not walking into the wrong bathroom.
你知道的 我该怎么活
You know, how could I live?
我应从事什么职业
What job could I get?
我不懂贸易
I didn’t know a trade.
不会开车
Couldn’t drive a car.
我憎恨离我而去的王八蛋
I hate that bastard for ripping out my heart
他毁了我的生活
and ruining my life.
他该死
He deserves to die.
所以我想过再去太空集团的应征
So I thought I’d reenlist in Space Corp.
这次去变成一个宇航员
This time to become an astronaut.
这很讽刺 我知道
It was ridiculous, I know.
他们有我的记录 我不能撒谎
They had my records. I couldn’t lie.
一个人看着我 而我被标上了不适合基本训练的标签
One look at me and I was marked unfit for basic training.
我认为医生只是对我好奇而已
I think the doctor spent time on me just from curiosity.
他读了关于我的情况
He’d read about my case.
我绝望了
I was desperate.
我在寻找一个回去的路
I was looking for a way back in.
你知道 我终身被人叫做怪物
You know, I’ve been called a freak my whole life.
而我真的就是
Now I really was.
就像一个实验的小白鼠
Just a lab rat to be experimented on.
我很抱歉
I’m so sorry.
-没事 -我就这样
-Yeah, right. -I am.
我遇到很多人对我的遭遇表示遗憾
I’ve had a lot of people tell me how sorry they are for what happened to me.
我不想在听到这些了
I don’t want to hear it anymore.
那你接下来想要啥
Then what do you want?
每个人想要什么
What does anyone want?
爱情
Love.
去他的爱情
Fuck love.
一个目的
A purpose.
目的
A purpose?
你没有吗
You don’t have that?
我正为此而努力
I’m working on it.
那为何爱情不能成为一个目的
Why can’t love be a purpose?
那完全是扯蛋
Hippy bullshit.
恨比爱容易 对吗
It’s easier to hate than to love, right?
是的
Yeah.
很容易毁了某件事
It’s easier to destroy something.
杀了某个人
Kill somebody.
你认为你能够做那些
You think you could do that?
或许吧
Maybe.
我从你眼神中也看出来了
I see it in your eyes, too.
充满怨恨
That bitterness.
它能够接受
It can take over.
能够
It can.
好吧 你知道 逆水行舟
Well, you know if you don’t move forward
不进则退